When I try to improve myself to gain worth, I fail. I can never do enough to please my perfectionist self. I can never do enough to please my judgmental peers. I can never do enough to gain complete, unmerited favor with my family. Simply put, I am not enough to please people 100% of the time. So improving myself to gain approval isn't going to work.
On the other hand, if I operate from a place of worthiness, I work to improve myself because I love myself and want my life to be better. When I learn to love myself more, I get out of the head space of trying to earn worth. When my life is better, I have more energy to attend to the needs of other people and serve them well. So operating from a place of worthiness is not necessarily selfish or self-centered. How do you operate from a place of worthiness? That is probably another post for another time.
For now, I encourage you to stop trying to improve yourself from a place of worthlessness. Stop saying:
"I'll be beautiful when I lose X pounds."
"I'll be strong when I gain X pounds of muscle."
I'll be happy when I get a promotion at work."
"I'll be content when I find a person to marry."
"My life will be worth something when I make a difference."
Don't stop working towards self-improvement and healthy goals. Just approach them differently. Approach them from a place of worthiness:
"I'm trying to improve my nutrition so that I'll have more energy to play with the dog I love."
"Weight-lifting is a good habit to have for relieving stress."
"I know I am capable of moving up the ladder at work and am working toward it."
"I love myself and can't wait to find a person to share love with for the rest of my life."
"I believe I have something to give to the world, so I work with integrity and hope."
Changing our self talk requires work. But I think that work with be worth it, and actually contribute to more success with our self-improvement projects.
Thoughts? Comments? I'd love to hear you motivate yourself to work towards self-improvement. Which strategies work, and which don't?
I feel like I have to SEE my motivation. Like, leaving notes for myself. It's something I've been toying with recently actually. The idea of a white board (somehow cute looking) that I would see every day with reminders of why I'm doing something. If I forget why I'm reaching for a goal, I fail epicly or I skew the reason and cease to make progress.
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