Afghan 72

My bestie is having a baby! When I asked her about colors, she asked for sage, and with the help of my husband's good eye, found the perfect sage yarn at Michael's. I had already decided on the spring to life pattern, so we also picked up country blue, impeccable putty, and white yarns. I kept with my favorite size J Boye ergonomic crochet hook.

I messed up the pattern somewhere, and had trouble with getting the edges straight. I ended up counting the bobbles to try to keep things somewhat in line. I also confused the color scheme, plus added a few rows to make the blanket longer. In the end, I also added a scallop to the edges to cover up the messiness. I decided I like the little bit of frilliness that added, and it made me feel better about the blanket overall.

The afghan ended up 28 x 37 inches. (The pattern was 28.5 by 28.5). Not perfect, but made with love for a little lady I already love!

If I Want Him to Lead

Growing up, my parents called me stubborn. As a young adult, I was persistent in working towards my goals. In my mid-twenties, I was bound and determined to be independent, self-sufficient, able to stand on my own if and when needed. Then I started dating and got married. My fierce independence was not so much of a blessing any more. In fact, it was a detriment to my relationship.

Biblically, I believe my husband is called to lead. When we got married, I wanted him to lead. I thought I could submit, and I tried. The problem was that my headstrong-ness got in the way. In fact, it still does. I often run along ahead of my husband in trying to get things done. I want things my way. I am impatient. All of these hinder him leading, and our unity.

I am realizing that if I want my husband to lead, I have to give him opportunities to fulfill his God-given role. I have to wait. I have to accept that he does some things differently than I do. I also have to ask. He can't know where and when I want to lead if I don't tell him.

Being patient is hard. Not going my own way is hard. Accepting things not exactly like I wanted them is hard. I didn't choose easy when I got married, though. I chose love. I chose to submit myself to the biblical pattern for marriage. I chose to accept my husband as my head. If I want him to lead, my actions have to follow.

The Significance of Sunrise

I have always enjoyed sunrises. Sunrises came to have special significance for me that summer I hiked South Mountain almost every Saturday. My mom and I started exchanging sunrise photos via text that year. I made a book of sunrise photos for family members for Christmas. Recently, my dad has made sunrise photo texts a group endeavor. That has made sunrises even more special.

I enjoy catching sunrise for many reasons. They are beautiful. They remind me that each day is new. They remind me that God's compassions are new every morning (Lam 3:22-23). They remind me that clouds don't always mean darkness. They remind me that beauty can come after pain that light can break through darkness. I see sunrises as God's canvas, both to display his beauty, and to teach me his truths.

Different things have different significances for different people. Sunrises are my thing, my family's thing. I am thankful for them!

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Readers, what has special significance to you? Please share in the comments section!

Sleep, It Really Is That Good For You

I am temperamental about my sleep. I really need to go to bed by a certain time, or I'm super tired the next morning. I feel the effects of too little sleep in just days. And I really need my naps on the weekend. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about my sleep sensitivities. Lately, though, I have come across research that tells me there's something to it.

Lack of sleep actually does lead to documentable impairment. Most people in the United States, at least, have driven through the night at least once in their lives. Maybe that is not such a great idea. Staying awake for just 18 hours leads to driving impairments akin to those of something with a blood alcohol content of 0.05% (Williamson & Feyer, 2000). Staying up for twenty-four hours straight leads to impairment equal to that of someone with a blood alcohol content of 0.10%, which is higher than the legal limit of 0.08%. Scientists have also found that lack of sleep prevents neurons in the brain from functioning properly, which can lead to jumbled thoughts and spacey thinking (Nield, 2017). Working memory and attention can also suffer due to lack of sleep (Alhola & Polo-Kantola, 2007). While everyone has times when they cannot go to sleep, or end up needing to stay awake (especially if they have small children), it really is not that good for the brain. (Side note: Women tend to have less immediate side effects from prolonged wakefulness, but take longer to recover from it. This would make sense due to the ongoing biological need to care for children.) On the flip side, sleep can help the brain clear out toxins and wastes (Paturel, 2014). It can help consolidate memories (Diekelmann, 2014). It can boost the ability to learn (Greer, 2004). Adequate, quality sleep literally gives people a leg up on life.

Sleepless effects not just the brain, but also the body. Poor sleep leads to ongoing production of the sleep hormone cortisol (Dasgupta, 2021). Too much cortisol can disrupt hormonal balance of estrogen and progesterone, slowing down the thyroid, and therefore the metabolism, in women. Too little sleep can disrupt leptin, gherlin, and insulin which regulate fullness, hunger, and blood sugar, potentially leading to energy imbalance. Melatonin, released during the sleep/wake cycle, can get disrupted when sleep is poor, impacting immunity and more. Too much sleep can also negatively impact the body. The right amount of sleep, however, promotes better overall total health.

Stressing about sleep? Well, that really is not that good for you either. But given the research, maybe we should all give just a little more attention to adequate sleep. Sleep is not as fancy or trendy as supplements or the latest new diet plan, but it might have just as many benefits. Plus, it's free. Sleep, it really is that good for us. Let's all try to do better about getting enough!

References:

Alhola, P., & Polo-Kantola, P. (2007). Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment 3(5): 553-567. PMID: 1930585.

Dasgupta, R. (2021, September 1). How sleep can affect your hormone levels, plus 12 ways to sleep deep. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/sleep/how-sleep-can-affect-your-hormone-levels

Diekelmann, S. (2014). Sleep for cognitive enhancement. Frontiers in System Neuroscience. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnsys.2014.00046/full

Greer, M. (2004). Strengthen your brain by resting it. Monitor on Psychology 35(7): 60. https://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug04/strengthen

Nield, D. (2017, November 07). Sleep deprivation has the same effect as drinking too much, says student. Science Alert. https://www.sciencealert.com/tiredness-sleep-deprivation-the-same-as-drinking-too-much

Paturel, A. (2014, February/March). The benefits of sleep for brain health. Brain and Life. https://www.brainandlife.org/articles/could-getting-more-high-quality-sleep-protect-the-brain

Williamson, A., & Feyer, A. (2000). Moderate sleep deprivation produces impairments in cognitive and motor performance equivalent to legally prescribed levels of alcohol intoxication. Occupational & Environmental Medicine 57(10): 649-655. https: doi: 10.1136/oem.57.10.649

You Know Arizona is Home When...

We had discussions with friends the other week about how Arizona always calls people home. You leave, but somehow it always calls you back. Here are a few other ways a person might tell that Arizona is home:

• You notice when humidity doubles...from 7 to 14%.
• Eighty degrees inside feels cool....it's at least 35 degrees warmer outside.
• You travel and think trees without leaves are dead. Trees are few in Arizona, and those there are are evergreen.
• You know to drink before you are thirsty. Dry heat doesn't necessarily make you feel dry.
• Your joints talk to you when the monsoons come. Weather changes don't happen on a very regular basis.
• You know people who have never seen snow.
• You're accustomed to seeing sunsets.
• Daylight savings time is a foreign, and confusing concept.
• On that note, you have to use Google or your phone to figure out what time it is in other places, because the time difference is never standard.
• You're used to nosebleeds and you stock nasal saline to deal with them.
• Frying an egg on the sidewalk doesn't sound like an outlandish idea.

I could probably go on, but you get the picture. Arizona is unique. Arizonans are unique. You like the state and you stand the people, or you move elsewhere, and that's okay. As for me, Arizona is home!

Real Life Marriage: Doing Love Wrong...Again!

I want to love my husband well, really, I do! I rarely accomplish it, but I try, and I thought I was giving it a decent shot. But recently, I realized I was doing it all wrong, again. I was trying to love my husband based on what I defined as love, and that didn't equal love to him.

A lot of my understanding of love comes from my family of origin. My parents were far from perfect, but loved each other and us kids well. Therefore, both consciously and subconsciously, I have tried to imitate my parents' style of love in my love for my husband. Spoiler alert: My husband grew up differently than me so he interprets life differently. This means that some of the ways I thought I was showing him love have come across as belittling, servile, or just plain unhelpful, quite the opposite of loving!

I have based a lot of my acts of love based on what I thought it meant to be a good wife. Spoiler alert: My husband doesn't really care what I think a good wife is. I mean, he does to the extent that he cares what I think, but he doesn't care when it comes to feeling loved. He wants me to love him, not my idea of a good wife.

I have tried to love my husband well, but I've been doing love wrong, again. My desires were good, but founded on the wrong premises. I was loving on the premises of what love meant to me, rather than what my husband perceives and needs as love. 

True love is patient. True love is kind. "It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Cor 13:4-5, New International Version [NIV]). It is easy to recite this biblical definition of love, and much, much harder to live it. Try as I might, I fail at love, over and over again. Only God loves perfectly. Only through the indwelling Holy Spirit's help can I learn to love better.

Recognizing that I have been doing love wrong again has been painful, incredibly saddening, and incredibly discouraging. But here I am, trying again, praying that I will grow, bring God glory in my attempts at love, and hopefully bless my husband more along the way.

Keeping Up with Meal Prep

Meal prep can get boring, like really boring, especially if you don't like eating the same stuff over and over again. This steers many people away from the practice. I like my habits and routines (having the meals prepped), but I am still one of those people that likes new things. To that end, I have tried to incorporate novelty into meal prep. Here are a few ways I do this:

1. I utilize the freezer. When I make a big batch of beans, or soup, or some other meal that keeps for my work lunches, I often freeze half. The next week, I make another meal and freeze half of that one. The third week, I thaw and eat the first prep, and the fourth week, I thaw and eat the second one again. This at least alternates my meals, rather than leaving me with weeks of the same old, same old.

2. I have a meal prep template and fit things in. I eat overnight oatmeal most mornings for breakfast, but I change up the toppings to keep life interesting. I make granola for my husband's breakfasts (and my snacks) every week, but have taken to making a different recipe every week. It takes a little extra planning, but it's worth it for variety. We almost always do Taco Tuesday, but regular tacos are boring to me. Enter The Taco Tuesday Cookbook, and we got a different taco recipe for every week of the year! 

3. I keep a variety of sauces on hand. We keep several mustards, ranch, salsa, sriracha, and other condiments handy. A little dressing can go a long way in changing up a meal prep to make it more interesting.

4. I make some single-serving recipes. I've been into mug cakes this year. Again, it's a little extra work, but provides variety to my otherwise mostly the same snacks. Having a new dessert to dig into at the end of the night makes me feel more satisfied, especially if I was not excited about food the rest of the day.

5. I cook from scratch on the weekends. We try to take a break from meal prep on the weekend and eat as many meals as we can fresh. Fresh versus reheated food can taste quite different, so this increases our appreciation for both versions of a food. Cooking fresh on the weekend can also yield leftovers that transfer into meal prep. (I have taken to making our tacos this way. We eat them fresh on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday and then reheated on Taco Tuesday.)

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I don't think meal prep has to work for everybody, but I think it can work for anybody who wants to do it. I hope that sharing these tips about how we keep things interesting are helpful to anyway who wants to try meal prep.

There’s a Right Way, and There’s a Wrong Way.

My husband and I are in the process of figuring out how to share the messy parts of life with one another. We’ll probably be in that process until Jesus returns or calls us home. I don’t think people talk about this part of life enough, so though, for what’s it’s worth, here’s what I’ve learned so far.

Life is messy. I have a lot of emotions about a lot of things. I can try to stuff them or hide them, but it doesn’t work. They eventually come out. Therefore, it behooves me to share them. It helps if I take a few deep breaths and pray before doing so, but after that, I generally need to release. Otherwise, my emotions pile up, growing things like roots of bitterness that I don’t want to prosper.

There is a right way and a wrong way for me to share my feelings, though, or maybe I should say that in the plural: right and wrong ways. I can tell my husband how I feel, or accuse him of making me feel that way (or not caring that I feel a certain way). I can acknowledge that he might have feelings, too, or I can dismiss his feelings as I am overwhelmed with my own. I try to choose the former rather than the latter options. I’m not perfect at it, but I try.

Why share my feelings at all, though? I don’t want to just spill my sewage into my husband’s life (an analogy I borrowed from Gary Chapman’s book). I need to share because God calls us to live in community. He made us that way. In marriage, my husband becomes my closest community, so he needs to know what’s going on with me. Biblically, he is my head, too, and as he pointed out one night recently during a tough conversation, he’s responsible for my soul in some ways. He can’t care for my soul if I don’t share with him it’s state. There is also the thing of bringing truths to light. I have plenty of anxieties and fears, and yes, some of them have to do with my marriage and my husband. It’s not his fault that I have them, but when I don’t share them with him, they grow. Conversely, when I share, and bring them to light, he can help correct the lies I believe and shepherd me towards truth. That process often makes both of us frustrated, but in the end, it is beneficial.

Marriage is a growing process. We don’t have it all figured out. We’ll always be on the journey towards Christlikeness. We’re learning lots and have lots more to learn. There are right ways and wrong ways in marriage, and ultimately, we want to choose His way, because He is the Way.

Reference:

Chapman, G. (2007). Now you're speaking my language: Honest communication and deeper intimacy for a stronger marriage. B&H Publishing Group.

I Can Trust Him.

 

The refrigerator froze my fresh produce. Again. There is nothing I can do about it, at least nothing right now, and it really rankles me. I like fresh produce. I work hard to try to keep it around. I spend our hard earned money on it. I've been trying to arrange the fridge so that my produce won't freeze, and despite all my efforts, the food froze anyway.

I recognize that frozen produce is a first-world problem. Some people don't have food. I know this. But the refrigerator freezing food that it shouldn't bothers me. That's okay. What's not okay is my perseveration about it. God knows! God made the produce. God gave humans the creativity to make machines like refrigerators. He provides the resources to have a home, to have a refrigerator, to have electricity to run it, to have money to pay the electricity bills, to have money to buy the food that the refrigerator freezes. The refrigerator freezing fresh produce upset is indeed a "small" thing, but it shows the bent of my heart.

I tend, far too often, far too much, to rely on myself for my own provision. I get bent out of shape when my provision fails. And who am I to even think I can provide for myself? But yet somehow I do. And as I stood there at the refrigerator, I felt the Spirit prick my conscience, and I had to say to myself, "I can trust Him."

Yes, I can trust God. With my frozen produce. With my refrigerator. With my life! I think I trust God, but little things like this show me just how much I don't. It's okay to be upset. It's not okay to act like I control the world.

God controls the world. God is my provider. God is good. I can trust Him! I need to trust Him more. Hopefully I remember that the next time I encounter a challenge, whether it is with the food in the refrigerator drawer or in a larger arena. The issue is not really the problem at hand. The issue is my heart.