Test the Spirits

We live in the age of information. It comes at us from left and right, top and bottom. Family, friends, news, and social media all deliver information to us. It is important to filter this information. For believers, I think it is important to not only filter, but to "test the spirits" to see if they come from God (New International Version, 2011, 1 John 4:1). Here are a few questions to consider-

When filtering information, ask:

Is this true? (If it is not true, why are we even entertaining it?)

If it is true, what is the evidence? (Not just anecdotal evidence, but real, empirical, documented evidence)

Is this helpful? (It might be true, but if it is not helpful, can we put it aside? We could save the information for later, or just decide the information is not for us.)

When testing the spirits, ask:

Does this align with the truth of the Bible? (Some truth is values neutral, neither aligning with truth, or with untruth. This takes us back to the question, "Is it helpful?")

Is this worth thinking about? [Philippians 4:8 says to think about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (New International Version, 2011).]

Does it align with hope? (Goff, 2019) If it's not hopeful information, is it from God? God certainly gives warnings, but are not even those to point us to Him?

I am sure there are more questions that could (and probably should be) asked, but the point is that I think we need to question the onslaught of information coming at us each day, not cynically, but wisely, and prayerfully. I don't want to be duped, and I also don't want to be "blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming" (Ephesians 4:14). Let's stand on (and in) truth, friends!

References: 

Goff, B. (2019). Live in grace. Walk in love. A 365 day journey. Nelson Books.

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

Divine Design

Divine Design

By Sarah Earles

In others I see

a reflection 

of God’s divine design:

His work,

His handiwork,

details marvelous and fine.

But do I see 

in me that same

reflecting of glory?

Or do I see 

only my sin

its destruction so gory?

Yes, sin is real.

We all need to repent.

But even sin can’t steal 

God image 

and God-reflection.

It just mars and tarnishes.

So, God help me see

Your reflection 

in others and in me:

Not the sin,

but the glory,

Of what in you I can be.

Help me to reflect

not the ill

but the good,

to a world in need

of more God-image

and Christ-directed work.

References: 

Crabb, L. (2005). Connecting: Healing ourselves and our relationships. Thomas Nelson.

Tollet, S. (Host). (2025, February). When you feel insecure (faith-based & practical guide). [Audio podcast episode]. Fit to live. https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/sydneytollett/episodes/when-you-feel-insecure-faith-based--practical-guide-e2uph5i

A Different Take on the "Let Them" Theory

Mel Robbin's "Let Them" theory was really big for a while. She even wrote a 2024 book about it. I have a different take on the idea.

"Let them" for Mel Robbins is mostly about releasing control. Let other people have their opinions. Let them do things their own way. Stop trying to manage them and what they think of you (Robbins, 2023). Stay in your own lane. Do your own thing. This is probably a gross oversimplification, but having not read the book, this is my understanding of the theory.

So what is my take on the theory? I apply it to expectations and FOMO (fear of missing out). "Let them" do all the things. I release the expectation that I can, should, or have to do all the things. I personality don't even want to do all the things!

So "let them" go on that trip, spend all their money, work extra hours at the office, stay out late at night. I am not missing out. I am living within my values. (And maybe they are too, but that doesn't mean I need to compare myself to them.) I don't need to catch up or keep up. Rather, I want to live within my limits and be faithful in the small things (Comer, 2019). Maybe this area of personal responsibility is where I actually agree with Robbins. Let me do me and whatever God is calling me to do. For me, that is what counts, and for me, what counts is all that matters.

References:

Comer, J.M. (2019). The ruthless elimination of hurry: How to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world. WaterBrook.

Robbins, M. (Host). (2023, May 28). The “Let them theory”: A life changing mindset hack that 15 million people can’t stop talking about. (no. 70) [Audio podcast episode]. In The Mel Robbins show. https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-70/

Robbins, M. (2024). The let them theory: A life-changing tool that millions of people can't stop talking about. Hay House.

Stages of Waiting

People talk about stages of grief, but what about stages of waiting? (Maybe there is some grief in there, too?). The anxiety, the prayer, the trying to make peace, the tiredness, and then maybe an answer, or not. As I endured yet another period of waiting, I was thinking more about all of these periods.

Scripture says not to be anxious, but I struggle with that. When I am waiting, my first response is to feel to feel on edge, to feel as if I cannot stand to wait for an answer. "Do not be anxious about anything," God's Word says, but I feel tense, impatient, and frustrated (English Standard Version, 2019, Philippians 4:6). Then I realize I missed what should be the first step on waiting.

So, I revert to what I should have done. I pray, fervently, often, sometimes begging, pleading, and demanding. I "by prayer and supplication...let [my] requests be made known to God (Phil 4:6). It is good to go to God with my requests, to be like the persistent widow (Luke 18). Demanding, however, is not a positive behavior. It is thinking I know better than God, and I certainly do not.

Then there is the praying to wait well. I have prayed for the thing. God knows. Then I need to wait, to learn, to watch.

As I watch, I wonder if God will surprise us, me. I begin to hope, maybe expect. But still no answer comes.

I try to start making peace with the process. I pray to accept whatever God has for us. I try to start finding contentedness in the here and now, even if nothing changes. "With thanksgiving" I try to make my requests known to God (Phil 4:6). It is hard, but all I can do at the moment.

Eventually, in my humanity, I grow weary. I just want an answer. But the Word says not to grow weary in doing good, and I need to wait well, for God's good, and my glory (Galatians 6:9). And that pretty much resets the cycle all over again.

Oh, the struggle it is to wait, and to wait well. So many stages. So many phases. How I need the Lord's help.

Reference:

English Standard Version. (2019). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/#copy

Contentment and Work

I have a good job. Really, I do. I work at a place with whose mission I align. I have great, supportive, believing supervisors. I like my coworkers. I am honored that people let me do what I do. And still, work does not complete me. Maybe it never will.

I have been on the hunt for purposeful work ever since college. I found purpose and mission in my undergraduate and graduate degrees, but in between, I had a job that was good, but a job that I wasn't invested in long-term. Then I had a job that was good, but didn't feel right. Then I had a job that was "too much," with 24 hour on-call and regularly required overtime. And now I have this job, the longest job I have had since graduate school.

I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to not work. I don't want to leave my job. I think I just need to learn that work is not my be-all end-all. I am complete in Christ, and in Him alone. I can be content with, and grateful for my work, because really, it shouldn't complete me. So I guess in that way, work discontent is good. It points me to the Savior. It points me to my need. It reminds me that my home is in heaven, and I "eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ" (New International Version, 2011, Phil. 3:20). Amen to that!

Reference:

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/#booklist

A Letter to Friends Who Don't Share My Faith

Dear Friend,

I have something to say that might come as a surprise to you: You don't have to believe for me to be okay. Yes, you heard me right. You don't have to share my faith for me to be okay. Do I want you to share my faith? Do I pray for your salvation? Yes. But your belief or lack thereof does not effect my salvation.

You see, my friend. Christ died for all. His substitutionary atonement is sufficient to cover all of my sin and reconcile me to him. My salvation depends not on my proselytizing you or winning you to salvation, but on His finished work.

Sure, your lack of faith may cause me distress. I want to share eternity with you! My connection with Christ does not depend on your salvation, though. It depends on the presence of the Holy Spirit, which God the Father gifted me at the moment of my conversion.

What do I see as my job, then? I want to share the truth with you in love (Ephesian 4:15). I want to, with God's help, live out a faithful life before you. I want to allow God to comfort me when my heart hurts because you don't believe.

What don't I want to do? Take out my distress on you. Make you think that you have to believe to somehow pacify me or up my accolades in the kingdom. My faith is my faith. If you choose to believe on Jesus for salvation, your faith will be your faith. 

Our friendship, I believe, is because Christ put us in each other's paths. Will it be for your salvation? I sure hope so. But if it isn't, I still value you. I believe that you are a unique creation of God, saved or unsaved, and I want you in my life.

Inspired by:

Chef Kibby. (Host). (2025, February 12). Escaping the distress cycle. (No. 5) [Audio podcast]. In Hungry for connection. https://chefkibby.com/podcast/episode-05-escaping-the-distress-cycle

Love Gifts from God

High school was not the worst of times, but it was not the best of times, either. I was struggling with academic stress, friend stress, work stress, and more. I was also battling anxiety and depression, for a time with medication and therapy, and later with nothing but natural support from family and friends. I remember clearly some deep days of despair on which I called out to God to do something to show me his love. He never had to answer. He is sovereign and perfect and I was certainly not, but time and time again, God graciously reached down and gave me gifts of love.

Somewhere around Valentine's Day of my senior year of high school, I got a call from the college I wanted to attend letting me know I had gotten a half-tuition scholarship. With the steep price of the school, this made it a little more accessible, if not yet quite feasible. Sometime around that period, I also got a call from my dad's company letting me know that I had received their top academic scholarship which meant, for the first year, I would owe nothing in school tuition. Sure, I would have move-in and living an expenses, but I could go to my dream school without going into debt. Praise!

I had come home from the scholarship weekend competition at that school some weeks earlier, telling my parents I wanted to attend the school, but that there was no way it would work out. "Just wait," my dad said. "See what God will do." And wow, God came through! I am pretty sure my dad reminded me of this, too, not to say, "I told you so," but as an earthly father, to point to the love of my heavenly father.

On several other dark days in high school, I remember crying out to God for signs of his love as I completed tasks related to my house cleaning job for a lovely family in a town nearby time. At least twice, the mom of that household came out to me and gave me immense gifts: designer hand-me-down clothes from her daughter, and later an entire set of dishes (that we still use to this day). Did that lady know I was struggling? Or was she just acting on Holy Spirit conviction? Maybe both! Whatever the case, I viewed those gifts as wonderful blessings not just from her, but from a God who loved me.

And this year, after a particularly stressful few weeks of work, followed by a few moments when I literally thought I was going to lose my mind, God gave me a love gift again. I had driven about 20 minutes to my Avon lady's house to pick up my order, not entirely convenient, but something that saved me shipping and sort of allowed me to "shop local." "I put a little gift in there for you," she said. "I gave you the other kind of mascara, just so you can try both and see which one you like." (I had ordered one tube of mascara to replace my now three year old product.) When I got home and looked at the tube, what word stood out prominently? Love.

I felt lighter after that interaction, not entirely better, but definitely loved. There was absolutely no reason the Avon lady needed to give me two tubes of mascara. I don't even use a lot of makeup, so it would take me a while to go through both, but still. It was a love gift: from her, and from God. One of the reasons I chose this lady is because she is a believer, so I believe that she must have given me that extra mascara as a prompting from God.

As I write this, I realize how often God has shown me His love through other people. What would have happened if those people had chosen to disobey God's promptings? I don't know. I hope that I wouldn't have lost faith, but I know for sure I would have felt more despairing, depressed, and dejected. I hope that maybe in some cases, God's love has been able to flow through me to others, as His love flowed through me to these. Perhaps on this Valentine's Day, that is something to think about: how to see God's love through the acts of others, and how to give God's love through acts of service and care. God's ultimate gift of love was in and through His Son Jesus. While we can't save the world, perhaps God can use our love to move people a little closer to true salvation, or at the last, save them from feeling completely unloved in this here and now life.

Mindset and Running

Running has taught me a lot about life. One of those life lessons is that mindset matters, a lot more than I think! Although I do not believe that mindset matters to the extent that a person can "manifest" things into being, I do believe that mindset helps a person achieve full potential.

I think I read about the power of mindset in running first from Elizabeth Clor. She wrote a book about how her mindset held her back from qualifying for the Boston marathon, and how work with a sports psychologist helped her shift away from a cycle of failure (Clor, 2016). Clor has now run the Boston marathon at least four times (Clor, n.d.). Steph Bruce has a GRIT motto, which she uses to encourage herself to dig in deep physically, as well as mentally (Bruce, 2018). I never really thought about mindset and running until I wanted to get faster.

I practiced the GRIT mindset and dug in before I went further into mindset. I did that first in my third 10k, digging in for the second part of my 10K when I found things getting hard. I ended up with a personal record [PR]! I practiced mindset more than physical moxie in my Thanksgiving Turkey trot. I was not really in shape, but wanted to try hard...and I PR'ed again. Repeat for the marathon and my most recent half-marathon when I am pretty sure I PR'ed by giving it my all in that last tenth of a mile. Apparently this is a thing, as Olympian Aliphine Tuliamuk PR'ed at the New York Marathon after not much training, but going in with an attitude that she was going to give it her all. Mental toughness is a big part of running (van Sprundel, 2022). Running is a mind and body sport.

Running well requires presence in the current moment. Be tough in the moment, and I might be able to tough out a good race, or finish a less-than-good race. Take on the whole race, and I might not try my hardest. I might be done, and not even finish. I heard somewhere the phrase, "Why not today?" That is a good phrase for running in the moment, and living in the moment, too. Why not live fully, give my best now, today? I am not guaranteed tomorrow.

Thinking well is not only beneficial for running, but in line with Scripture. Paul encourages believes to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (New International Version, 2011, 2 Cor 10:5). In the famous Philippians 4 passage, Paul encourages readers to think about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...excellent [and] praiseworthy" (v. 8). Having the right mindset requires taking captive anxious and fearful thoughts (Brooks, n.d.). It requires putting ego to death and thinking truth, about potential, but not in a prideful way. It seems having the right mindset is a discipline that takes practice.

I don't have mindset all figured out, but I am realizing that it matters a lot more than I thought, in running, and in life. Maybe it is a way my mind is growing wiser, even as my body ages. Maybe the former makes up for the latter? I don't know. Whatever the case, I hope with the Spirit's help, that I continue to improve my ability to practice a productive mindset so that I may do all things to my best, and to God's honor and glory.

References:

Brooks, A. (n.d.). Shut down the negative voice on your next run. Run to the Finish. https://www.runtothefinish.com/overcome-negative-thoughts-while-running/

Bruce, S. (2018, October 5). G-R-I-T. Steph Bruce. https://www.stephbruce.com/blog/2018/10/1/g-r-i-t

Clor, E. (n.d.) Race history. Racing Stripes. https://www.elizabethclor.com/p/marathons.html

Clor, E. (2016). Boston bound: A 7-Year Journey to Overcome Mental Barriers and Qualify for the Boston Marathon. Create Space Independent Publishing Platform

Feller, A. (Host). (2023, April 20). Live at the Boston Marathon with Sara Hall, Aliphine Tuliamuk, & Sara Vaughn. (No. 632). [Audio Podcast]. In Ali on the Run. https://aliontherunblog.com/2023/04/20/632-boston-marathon-live/

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

van Sprundel, M. (2022, April 26). Running and the science of mental toughness. The MIT Press Reader. https://thereader.mitpress.mit.edu/running-and-the-science-of-mental-toughness/

The Answer

The answer isn't more hate. The answer isn't more love. The answer is Jesus. Full-stop. Period. End of story. Only Jesus can put to death hostilities by nailing them to the cross (Eph 2:16). Only Jesus can rectify and redeem all the injustices of the world. Only Jesus can save.

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Jesus is the Savior. Jesus is the answer. He's where I am putting all my hope.

A Prayer for the Everyday

A Prayer for the Everyday

By Sarah Earles

Guide me in the everyday,

I pray:

In the rising,

in the resting,

in the waking

in the doing

in the shopping

in the work

in the eating

in the cleaning

in the running

in the stretching

in the loving

in the losing

in the morning

in the evening

in the mid-afternoon

in the twilight

in the words

in the wisdom

in the speaking

in the listening

in the reading

in the prayer.

Guide me Spirit, everyday

I pray.

Maybe We Should Pray...

Maybe you've seen the memes. There have been quite a lot of them going around about Astronomer CEO the JumboTron at a ColdPlay concert caught Astronomer CEO Andy Byron in a compromising situation with his HR chief (Levy, 2025). As my husband wisely pointed out: You cannot expect to keep a relationship private when you take it to the public arena. Or as my parents taught me growing up: "Be sure your sins will find you out." At some point sooner or later, a person continuing in a pattern of sin will be found out. It was true for OJ Simpson, who was never found guilty of murder, but still ended up back in jail for another crime (Seeman, 2024). It is true for Ruth Chepngetich whose marathon record seemed too good to be true, and probably was, now that she has tested positive for a banned substance. And it's true for us (Grez, 2025). No pattern of sin will permanently go uncovered, or unpunished.

Scholars debate whether or not John 8:1-11 should be in the Bible. It is probably a true story, but not canonical (Jenkins, n.d.) Still, it has lessons to teach us, particularly verse 7 "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her" (English Standard Version, 2016). I need to judge sin as sin, but I also need to realize that the same sin lives in me. Perhaps before judging others and making fun of them, I need to ask the Spirit to judge my own heart.

After discussing the Astronomer situation with my husband I felt conviction that I needed to pray for that man, too. Yes, he sinned. Yes, he got found out. But he has a wife and a family and friends and relatives. This is not a one shot take-down. This is a family that is going to struggle and suffer: a family that needs salvation and redemption. Then there is the woman and her friends and family. They all need Jesus. We all need Jesus.

Come at me if you want for maybe being too soft on sin, but you know what? God has been gracious with and merciful towards me. Jesus saved me from my sin and continues to cover the sins I continue to commit, sometimes because I want to, and sometimes because they come out of my innate sin nature. When I see things like the Astronomer CEO scandal, I want the Spirit to convict me to search my own heart, to confess and pray against sin, and then to pray for and against the sin of others, as well as for their redemption. It's easy to judge, but maybe we should pray instead of doing the modern version of casting stones and making memes.

References:

English Standard Version. (2019). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/#copy

Grez, M. (2025, July 18). Women’s marathon world record-holder Ruth Chepngetich provisionally suspended after testing positive for banned substance

CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/18/sport/ruth-chepngetich-suspension-banned-substance-spt

Jenkins, C. (n.d.). Why we are not preaching on the woman caught in adultery. Christ Community. https://cckc.church/can-i-trust-that-the-bible-has-been-accurately-preserved/

Levy, A. (2025, July 18).  Astronomer CEO Andy Byron placed on leave after viral Coldplay kiss cam video. CNBC. https://www.cnbc.com/2025/07/18/astronomer-andy-byron-coldplay-kiss-cam.html

Seeman, M. (2024, April 11). After 'trial of the century,' OJ Simpson spent prison time, rest of life in Las Vegas. 24 News. https://nbc24.com/news/nation-world/after-trial-of-century-oj-simpson-spent-prison-time-rest-of-life-in-nevada-death-cancer-las-vegas-robbery-case-lovelock-prison-parole-probation-bruce-fromong-alfred-beardsley

Grace for the Martha's and for the Mary's

Martha toiled. Martha was "distracted" (New International Version, 2011, Luke 10:40). Martha got "worried and upset" (Luke 10:41). Martha ratted on her sister Mary to Jesus.

Mary was better. Mary "[chose]...better" (Luke 10:42). She sat at Jesus' feet, ostensibly to learn from him and be with him.

But both sisters struggled with unbelief. Both separately told Jesus that if he would have been there when their brother Lazarus was sick, Lazarus would not have died (John 11:21, 32). Both believed Jesus could heal living people, but they didn't seem to believe he could heal living people. 

Martha believed...somewhat. Mary believed...somewhat. Neither believed fully. Martha's distraction didn't take from her belief, or lack thereof (at least in this instance. Mary's sitting at Jesus' feet didn't make her believe better (in this instance). Both needed the grace and mercy of God, BOTH.

There is grace for the Martha's, 

and grace for the Mary's. 

Grace for the go-getters, 

grace for the sitters. 

Grace for the believers, 

grace for the halfways, 

and even grace 

for the not-there-yets.

Jesus gives it all.

Jesus is it all.

Jesus is grace personified;

for all he died.

So whether you think

you're better or worse

Jesus came to break sin's curse.

There is grace for the Martha's.

There is grace for the Mary's.

Whether we tend to be distracted

or whether we tend to sit,

there is grace for all who believe

even if it is just a little bit.

Reference:

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/#booklist

Praying Process Over Product

My mom told me recently that she was not sure how to pray about something. My first inclination was to tell her to pray the Lord's prayer: "Your kingdom come, your will be done" (New International Version, 2011, Matthew 8:9). While it is not wrong to pray for specific things, whether they be the desires of our hearts, or specific convictions, more and more, I am convinced that I need to pray more process than product prayers.

What do process prayers look like? Instead of praying for my man/woman to win the election, I need to pray that they know Christ as Savior. Instead of praying that I will find what I want when I go grocery shopping, I need to pray that I am a good witness. Instead of praying that my husband will do this or that, I need to pray that he becomes the man God wants him to be (Rainey, 2016). Instead of praying for a specific outcome of a situation, I pray that I am (or they are) conformed to the image of Christ. 

Are process prayers always the prayers to pray? No. Jesus prayed for specific things, like that if it was God's will, he could escape the Matthew 26:39). Specific verses in the Bible request prayers for specific things (eg Hannah praying for a son). In some cases, God even told people not to pray (e.g. Jeremiah 7:17, 11:14, 14:11). Many, many of the examples of prayer in the Bible, though are about process: prayer to be delivered from evil, the Lord's prayer (as quoted above), prayer to proclaim the gospel fearlessly (Ephesians 6:19-20), etc. Let us consider that when we pray.

For me, praying process over product prayer helps align my heart with the Lord's. It turns my eyes off what I want onto what God wants, and to what His will is. I think that is where He wants my heart, with His, and as long as he continues to lead this way, this is the way I will pray: with Him, for Him, because only he can produce the products of righteousness and salvation, the things we ultimately, and eternally need.

References:

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/#booklist

Rainey, B. (2016). Letters to my daughter. Bethany House Publishers.

The Year God Gave Back

This time last year, we almost lost my dad. He had serious surgery, so extreme it required machines to hold onto his life while the doctors did their work. Dad came through surgery, but then had some serious complications. It was frightening. It was scary. We prayed like crazy. We begged friends and family to pray. We fought. He fought. For a time, it felt like the dad I knew was gone. I grieved. We grieved. But somehow, by God's grace, after quite a long time, and with a lot of medical intervention, we started to get back to doing our "normal" things as a family:

We visited overnight.

Dad came to cheer on my races.

We celebrated holidays.

We ate meals together.

Dad sent his funny (as well as inspiring) texts.

To misquote the old "Big Yellow Taxi" (1970) song, "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone," and man, after almost losing my dad, this year has been so meaningful! My dad is a big-hearted, kind caring, hardworking, protective, supportive, encouraging guy, and having not only this year with him, but this year with the dad I know and love has been such a blessing. Thank you, Lord, for this gift! Thank you for my dad!

--

I love you, Dad.

Happy Father's Day!

Reference:

Mitchell, J. (1970). Big yellow taxi. [Song]. Siquomb Publishing Corp.

Gifts Of Year 35

The older I get, the less I want or need tangible gifts. This is not to say that I have reached a stage of true contentedness. I still struggle with that. I do think that God continually reminds me of the gift that is life, of the ultimate value of eternal life, and of the wonder of the little gifts God gives along that way. In that vein, here are five great gifts from my 35th year around the sun, gifts I do not deserve, but which meant a lot to me:

My Dad's recovery from major surgery: I don't think anything ever prepares a person for a decline in their parent's health. I knew my dad needed surgery and would need some time afterward to recover. I never imagined how hard it would be for him, or for us, to claw his way back. Life does look different for him, and for all of us now, but we are so thankful to God to still have Dad in it.

Last Patriot Run 10K: The Patriot Run was my first run back after Dad's surgery. Dad got to be there to watch it, and I told him that I ran that last 5K lap for him. Little did I know that this would be the last iteration of this race, my first race when I moved back to Arizona, and a race I had done almost every year since.

The Mesa half-marathon: I wanted to run this race since running my first half-marathon, but kept putting it off because the time did not seem to be right. This year, I bit off the goal, and did it, and it went better than I could have dreamed, so good, it has me dreaming of new things!

Live training for work: I have recorded podcast episodes for work before, but this year, I got to give a live training! Preparation required a lot of work, and I needed a lot of feedback and support along the way. In the end, it went well, for which I give God the thanks and glory. Will I train more? We will see.

Meeting Jess McClain: Pat's Run 2024 was awesome, but technically, I could do that again. Meeting a top US runner, who's also a hometown girl? That might never happen again. Definitely a special memory!

Who knows what the next year will hold, but I want to rejoice and be glad in it, and in the gifts God gives (Psalm 118:24). To Him be the glory, forever and amen!

Limits

Limits. Oh how I hate them, and how how a part of life they are! I had a conversation with a friend just the other day about limits and how neither of us can do what other people can do. We can resent that, or we can work on accepting it so that we can fully live the lives we have.

The Bible actually talks about limits in some positive ways. In the Psalms, David writes, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance" [Ps 16:6, New International Version (NIV)]. Pauls talks about how the Spirit intercedes for us when we lack the ability to find the words to pray (Rom 8:28). Paul talks about God's power being sufficient in weakness (2 Cor 12:9) about having "treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor 4:7). In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about differing gifts in the body (how we don't have them all, but that the body as a whole, functions together). All of these seem to point to limits being good, maybe not feeling good, but being for good.

How are limits good? Well, limits remind me that God knows better than I do. Limits teach me to be grateful to God for what He has done. As Kate Bowler says, "There's a lot to do if you have to save yourself" (Bowler, 2022). Praise Jesus, there is a Savior, and I am not Him! Limits teach me to rely on God's power instead of my own. Limits require others to exercise their unique gifts and talents because I certainly lack the many things that the church corporate needs. Limits require me to rest, something God in his perfection did, but that I in all my human weakness struggle to do. I guess what I am saying is that limits are good for for the building of my spiritual character, for my sanctification.

I still don't like limits, but what if I thanked God for my limits instead of resenting them? What if I learned to appreciate them for what they are, a tool to bring me closer to Jesus. I want that result, even if it's uncomfortable. So here's to limits. To acknowledging, and even embracing them. To maybe fighting against them a little less, because if I could fight them less, I might grow more within them, and thereby pursue the full life that God has for me. Amen and amen.

References:

Bowler, K. (Host). (2022, October 24). More life, fewer explanations. (S9, E8) [Audio podcast episode]. In Everything Happens. https://katebowler.com/podcasts/more-life-fewer-explanations-2/

New International Version. (2011). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

There is a Savior.

My mom had (thankfully minor) surgery last week. I sat at work in a situation where I desperately wanted some word of help to offer, but had none. I watched my husband continue to soldier on under an immense weight of work that I wanted to help bear, but could not. I wanted to be a savior, but I wasn't.

The Spirit had to remind me, over and over again, that there is a Savior, and I'm not it. My mom has a Savior. His name is Jesus, and He is more than able to care for her needs. I have no word of my own, but I have the name of Jesus. I have no ability to help, but I have a Jesus on whom I can call. Praise Him!

There is a Savior. There is a Savior. There is a Savior! I have no help to give. One of His names is Helper. I am powerless, but He is powerful. I am unable. He is able. Praise the mighty name of Jesus!

Self-Control and Self-Care: Not Mutually Exclusive

I have heard several things about how self-control is punitive and that what we need instead is self-care. I don't think self-control and self-care have to be mutually exclusive, though. Sometimes I think that we have to practice self-control (a fruit of the Spirit) to have appropriate self-care. Maybe the issue lies within definition of the terms.

What is self-control? According to the Bible, it is part of the fruit of the Spirit, demonstration that the Holy Spirit lives within a person and controls the person (Gal 5:23). The Greek Word here refers to mastery of desires and passions, that is, saying , "No" to the wrong, and "Yes" to the right. (Blue Letter Bible, n.d.). Psychology defines self-control simply as "the ability to manage one's impulses, emotions, and behaviors to achieve long-term goals" (Psychology Today Staff, n.d.). There is less moral distinction here, stating that self-control just helps a person make choices that benefit him or her long-term. Either way, self-control requires decision and action.

What is self-care? The Bible does not reference self-care specifically. It does encourage believers to care for self and others, though (Faith Filled Food for Moms, n.d.). Self-care is more of a mental health term defined as "the practice of individuals looking after their own health using the knowledge and information available to them" (Global Self-Care Federation, 2023). In this way, self-care is self-tending.

The Interrelationship. The definitions of self-control and self-care overlap in the area of decision making. Some bloggers, podcasters, and writers disagree, though. Paige Schmidt (2017) does not say that the two are mutually exclusive, but portrays self-control in a pejorative sense, saying that "Self-care refuels you and gives you MORE energy and self-control drains you and takes AWAY your energy." Be the Change (2021) says something similar. Using self-control to do things that are not beneficial is negative for one's health. But using self-control to practice good things (eg sleep hygiene, good nutrition, etc.) might be necessary for self-care.

If we define self-control negatively, as in forcing oneself to do something the person does not want to do, that might not benefit the person's mental health. As Kris (n.d.) says, "When we force our bodies into a state that is unnatural and potentially even detrimental...our body [and I might add, soul and spirit] will retaliate." If self-control is done positively, as in saying, "No" to behaviors that drain the person, and "Yes" to filling and energizing behaviors, the two might go together. As Mistie (2017) writes in Simply Convivial, sometimes we need discipline, to "replace [old habits with new, better habits, and] redirect our minds to right ruts rather than bad ones." That self-discipline might include the decision-making of self-control.

Not Mutually Exclusive. Fueled by Holy Spirit wisdom, I believe that self-control and self-care go together. In fact, I think they need to go together. We need wisdom to practice appropriate self-control in ways that help, rather than hurt. We need wisdom to care of ourselves appropriately, in ways that equip us to live healthy lives rather than enable us to continue in unhealthy habits. Self-control and self-care. Let's pursue them both for the good of ourselves and the glory of God.

References:

Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon :: Strong's G1466 - egkrateia. https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1466/esv/mgnt/0-1/

Faith Filled Food for Moms. (n.d.). 22 awesome scriptures for practicing self-care -- Free printable. https://www.faithfilledfoodformoms.com/22-awesome-scriptures-to-know-for-practicing-self-care/

Global Self-Care Federation. (2023). What is self-care? https://www.selfcarefederation.org/what-is-self-care

Kris. (n.d.). Choosing self care over self control. Healthy Mama Kris. https://healthymamakris.com/choosing-self-care-over-self-control/

Mistie. (2017, December 13). Simple Convivial. Repent. Rejoice. Repeat. https://simplyconvivial.com/2017/self-control-self-care/

Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.). Self-control. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-control

Schmidt, P. (2017, April 19). The difference between self-care and self-control. Live Brightly. https://www.paigeschmidt.com/the-difference-between-self-care-and-self-control/

Open Hands

Will we, or won't we?

Do we, or don't we?

So many contingency plans.

Where will we ultimately be?

This anxiety

tries my mind and body

and my spirit.

Grasping tightly is not good for me.

So I'm trying to let go,

let my humanity show,

loosen my grip,

trust and know.

All these plans

I need to hold with open hands

because ultimately all these things

are not in mine, but in the Lord's hands.

Real Life Marriage: I Wanted to Give Up

I wanted to give up. I think many married people get to that point, but I didn't think I would. But there I was, sitting at the stoplight thinking that I was ready. I wouldn't fully give up, of course. I had a covenant marriage. I couldn't get out, but I might just stop fighting for my marriage. It was hard. It had been hard. Nothing seemed to be working. I might just give up.

It had been a long, hard season. We could not seem to communicate without conflict. I took what he said wrong. He got frustrated. We failed at resolutions. We were not very unified. I was hurt, wounded. I had been hurt too many times, I reasoned, to keep trying. I would just do my wifely duties, be a servant, but not really be in it. Maybe that would be easier. Relating, working at things was just too hard.

But as I sat there at that stoplight, I heard the Father whisper, "But I don't give up on you." And it dawned on me then that no, I couldn't give up. Marriage is supposed to image Christ and the church, and if God didn't give up on me, I couldn't give up either.

When I went home that night, things were not miraculously different, but my heart was different. God had humbled me, cajoled me, reminded me of truth. I had to act on that truth, or disobey. It's been over a year since that revelation and things are not perfect, but praise the Lord, they are oh, so much better.

Funny how mindset changes things, because I am not sure how much I consciously changed, other than my attitude, but slowly, things in our marriage changed. I am not sure if we did things differently, or my heart was just soft enough for God to move and mold. Whichever the case, I am thankful. Thankful that God did not, and does not give up. Thankful that God's strength is always great enough to help me persevere. Thankful that what doesn't break you makes you stronger. To God be the glory. Amen!