Everything I Read in May

'Twas another slower reading month. I just haven't been that into it. Anyway, here are reviews of what I did read*:

44) The Bright Side Running Club by Josie Lloyd—Keira seems like she has it all: a good marriage, sweet kids and a profitable business, until her world comes crashing down with a breast cancer diagnosis. Written by UK author Josie Lloyd, this is a first person, fictionalized tale about running through cancer and relying on the power of friendship. It is a really well-written book, with some interesting exploration of relationship dynamics both inside and outside of the family. There is also a mysterious subplot having to do with Keira's business. It is an excellent, encouraging book in terms of giving readers hope for life after cancer. Character Tamsin's statement that “'life is a gift, not a given'” is one to take away. Unfortunately, despite these bright spots, there is a lot of language and some of the content is R-rated. For these reasons, I cannot recommend the book.

45) Snackable Bakes by Jessie Sheehan—This was a fun little read, inspired by me hearing the author on an episode of the podcast, Didn't I Just Feed You. The cookbook contains little snippets of stories, photos for every recipe, and most often, several variations for each recipe (rendering far more than the 100 recipes the book promises). As former baker at Baked in New York City, Sheehan shares a lot of tips to make baking easier (such as mixing in one bowl and using a marshmallow to stabilize whipped cream), and her wry sense of humor makes reading entertaining. This is by no means a healthy-for-the-body cookbook—it has plenty of sugar, butter, and oil—but it is healthy for the soul: entertaining and making the fun parts of baking and eating more accessible, and for that matter, snackable.

46) Smitten-Natalie: Birthday Wishes by Colleen Coble—This is a short, sweet story (part of a collection of four, only the library separated them in the Libby app) about Natalie Mansfield, aunt, business woman, and creative thinker extraordinaire. Natalie is raising her niece Mia, running a coffee shop, and now trying to help keep the town where she grew up afloat. Meanwhile, she is trying to figure out how to make things official by adopting her niece, her May 10^th birthday wish. Things move a little quickly, but what can a reader expect from a short novella? There are some pretty sweet lessons about trust—in God and in others—that make me smitten enough to want to find the rest of the novellas so I can read more.

47) Stories of Hope: An Anthology of the Redeeming Hope Found in Jesus by Wendy Palau—Composed of short testimonies from women around the globe, this book truly is one of hope. The authors share tales of Jesus saving them from alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, the occult, promiscuity, and more. The tales are not ones of toxic positivity, but of true rescue and redemption. This is an excellent, easy-to-read, and inspiring book. Taken a story at a time, or in full, it is worth a read!

48) Keep on Running: The Highs and Lows of a Marathon Addict by Phil Hewitt—Written by a British journalist turned marathon runner, this book chronicles the author's participation in a variety of European marathons. The writing is not necessarily spectacular, but well describes the flops, faves, and foibles of over 20 marathons. Readers can pick up a few tips along the way, but mostly, they can get a picture of what it looks like to be a marathon runner. This is not my favorite running book ever, but I did enjoy it for some light reading.

49) The New Rules of Running: Five Steps to Run Faster and Longer for Life by Vijay Vad—This is a different type of running book, written by a medical doctor versus a seasoned runner or a coach. While the book's title lends itself to a book full of running tips, this is more a book about running, aging, and marathoning. There is more medical terminology than in some books (though still understandable for the layman). There is quite a bit about what happens to the body as people age, and what runners can do to combat it (stretching, and strength training—he recommends calf raises, standing leg kicks, monster walks, dumbbell hammer curls, push-ups, crunches, and planks as base moves). He suggests elliptical training or water jogging as cross-training when injured. He also says its better to get niggles checked out than run through them. The book contains 10-day cycle marathon plans, as well as half-marathon plans. He does write a bit about the marathon, but maybe that is where most people are aiming in this new age of running? I learned from this book, but I wouldn't say I learned to run faster. That would be more of a training book. This is more of a book about lifetime care for the running body.

50) Happy Herbivore: Light and Lean by Lindsay Nixon—Though not vegan or trying to lose weight, I like Lindsay Nixon's cookbooks for their plant-forward focus and variety. I could definitely pick this one up and cook quite a few recipes from it. I could do without all the diet references, but for those who want a diet plan, this book has aspects of it. Overall, though, it is just a source for easy, happy, good-for-you cooking

51) Church: Why Bother? by Philip Yancey—Set forth as a book about how the author left the church and came back, this really is not a book about that. Rather, it is a book about how and what the church can be in the community. Sharing personal anecdotes about his time at churches in the inner city of Chicago and elsewhere, Yancey writes about how the church is the hands and feet of Christ. I found the last chapter about how to endure as a Christian servant most helpful. All in all, I think the book is a bit dated (especially in the language Yancey uses to describe struggling people), and not what it set out to be. I would rather read the last chapter as a stand alone encouragement for those in Christian ministry.

52) Half the Sugar, All the Love: 100 Easy, Low-Sugar Recipes for Every Meal of the Day by Jennifer Tyler Lee and Anisha Patel—This book is genuinely what it says: a cookbook that reduces sugar in recipes by at least 50%. The book's authors posit that natural sugars from fruit are better than those from processed sugars, as they contain vitamins and nutrients, so the book is not sugar free. It is just lower on processed sugars. Anyway, the authors include recipes for everything from breakfast favorites like muffins to sweet and savory stir fries, as well as the expected cakes and cookies. The authors use dates for sweetness in a lot of recipes, not something I have on hand regularly, but something I could use. If I wanted to branch out into some of the recipes I usually avoid because of their high sugar content, I would buy this book. The book is also family friendly, including a “What kids can do” section for every recipe. All in all, this is a quality, well-done cookbook, obviously developed and written with love.

53) No One Ever Asked by Katie Ganshert—This book took a bit to get into, but man, when I did, it had me! No One Ever asked artfully weaves together the lives of at least three women, sharing the perspectives of each amidst its seventy-four chapters. Covering sensitive issues like transracial adoption, marriage, divorce, health, sexual harassment, gun rights, and school integration, this book really has no agenda, other than to give inside looks at the hearts and lives of people affected but these struggles. No one ever wants to ask about the heaviness of things like what these characters struggle with, but in the end, forgiveness wins. This is in many ways a heavy read, but also one hundred percent worth it!

*I realize that I am privileged to be able to read, to have access to so many books via the library, and to have time to read. I just haven't been as into it lately has I had been. 

Afghan 76

Afghan 76! A different pattern with a bit of texture, and overall, it worked up pretty fast. And the edging went well, a rarity for me. (See my struggles here.)

Pattern: Baby crochet blanket pattern (My Poppet Makes)

Hook: size J Boye ergonomic crochet hook

Yarn:

Impeccable solid yarn by Loops & Threads in skylight

Mainstays white

Size: 32 inches wide by 42 inches long

Is God Still Good?

My husband has battled some scary health things these past few years. I haven't talked about them because they were not my battles. They did affect me, though. They frightened me. They caused me to feel anxious and worried. I could not go to appointments with my husband because of COVID restrictions, so each time he went to the doctor, I would eagerly await his texts giving me the updates. One morning, while sitting reading my Bible, I received his text about a potentially life-altering diagnosis. My stomach dropped. But then I looked down at my Bible, down to the Psalm of the day. What was it? Psalm 136, which starts, "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good" (New International Version, 2011, Ps. 136:1). And I asked myself, "Can God still be good if this is true?"

I had to wrestle with myself for a bit. I knew that the Bible was true. I knew that I had to believe all of it was true, or none of it was true. Honestly, I could not live if it was untrue. Still, reckoning with my husband's potential diagnosis and the goodness of God proved difficult. I had to remind myself constantly that God could be good, even if circumstances were not good. God could still provide, give peace, sustain, and lead in wisdom. He would still be God, even if my husband had this diagnosis.

In the end, the doctors treated my husband for the condition, but it does not look as serious as initially suggested. My husband is doing well and may not even have the problem. God is good! God is good not because my husband's good health is progressing, though. God is good because He is God, and perfect goodness is inherent in His character. I pray that I can remember this when the next hard thing comes, because it will. Life is full of hardship, just as God is full of goodness sufficient to face it.

Reference:

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

You Can't Rush the Downhill

My friend C. Salena (2019) coined the phrase "Truth on Trails." Here's another edition, this time from a recent hike where I did not really have a precise plan. I just wanted to hike up one trail and loop back on another. It's been a while since I hiked these trails, and I did not remember them well. I was pretty sure I was going the right way, but there sure were a lot of ups and downs. By the third or fourth or fifth one, I really wanted to be done and back to my car.

As I picked my way down yet another rocky descent, I thought to myself, "You can't rush the downhills." Go too fast, and I risked falling, face-planting, and possibly even sustaining a severe injury, none of which I wanted. I just had to watch my feet, and slowly, steadily make my way down the trail.

I thought about the downhills of life as I gingerly made my way. I dislike hard times. I hate struggles. When they come, I just want to power through them and be done. That's not the way life works though. That's not the way God works. We learn through struggles (Rom 5:2-5; James 1:2-4). We gain strength through trials. God sanctifies us in and through fire. It's not pleasant. It's not pretty, but it generally works out for our good when God is behind it.

There are certainly times when our struggles, the downhills of life, are due to our own poor choices (as in the instance of addictions, substance use, infidelity, etc.). That's not what I am talking about here, though. I'm talking about the hard times that come, not because anything we have or have not done, but just because life is hard, and difficult.

Rush the downhills, increase the possibility of hurt. Try to speed through, and maybe miss the lessons God is trying to teach me, and potentially have to go through this again. Rush the downhills, and miss the dexterity learned from careful foot placement. Hurry up and miss some of the glories of home when I get there.

I don't like the downhills, in hiking, or in life. I don't have to. What I do need to do is be present in them, giving care and prayer to my way so that I may grow and learn through them. In God's providence, may it be so.

Reference:

She Say Speak [@SheSaySpeak]. (2017, November 5). Taking the way that creeped me out allowed me to see something so beautiful it distracted me from fear and [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/BbH4PjoALm6/

How I Talk About My Marriage

It might surprise people that I talk to my mom so much about my marriage. In many situations, this would not be wise. With the blessing of having a mom that follows Jesus and believes in my marriage, however, it works for me. Still, I try to take care about how I talk about my marriage.

When I go to my mom, I try to talk about my struggles. My husband is not perfect, but I am only in control of me. Therefore, I talk to my mom about me. I talk to her about the sins I see in myself and ask her advice about how to combat them. I ask her about how to be a better support to my husband. I deal with my side of the equation.

I try not to talk to my mom about things I think my husband has done wrong. I try not to speak ill of him. This is good practice for me, as it helps me focus on edifying talk. I think it is also important because I want my parents on the side of my marriage. To speak ill of my husband to my mom could potentially bias her towards me, and that is not the point.

Is it right to talk to my mom about any and every situation? No. My husband is my head, and when it comes to life decisions, I need to seek the Lord and seek my husband first. Mom is no longer my authority. If my husband and I both want to go to her and my dad for advice about a particular decision, however, they welcome it.

Other things are just personal things. My husband and I differ from my parents on some topics, and that is okay. I do not need to get parental approval. What I need is support, and spurring on towards godliness. That is my what my mom gives me when I go to her in the right ways.

Am I perfect in the way that I talk about my marriage? No. I am thankful that my mom understands this, and calls me on non-productive talk when she hears it. This is one of the reasons I continue to talk to her, because even in her talk about my talk, she challenges me to be more godly, and isn't that I what I am seeking?

My Primary Source of Marriage Wisdom

I go to my mom a lot about marriage issues. It did not start out that way. In fact, in the beginning of my marriage, I tried not to talk to my parents about my marriage. Now, nearly four years in, my mom is the primary person to whom I go.

They say that a person marries someone a lot like his or her opposite gender parented. I never thought that my husband was like my dad, until I realized he was a lot like my dad. He and my dad are great men, but very different from my mom and I. When I go to my mom with marriage questions, therefore, she often has great answers, because she has lived a long time with a similar type of person.

My mom is for my marriage, too. My parents made it very clear when I got married that they were no longer for me, but for us. That remains when I seek out marriage wisdom from my mom. Most of the time, she calls me on my own sin, and my need to show grace for my husband. Sometimes, often, this advice hurts, but it is accurate, and needed.

Mom is practical. She often reminds me of the simple foundations of marriage that I forget. She tells me that things are probably not as bad as they seem. She reminds me that marriage is a blessing, and a gift.

Mom does not pretend to have all the answers. Most of the time, she ends her answers to my questions with a call to seek the Lord. Though in heaven, He is the ultimate source of marriage wisdom.

Having my mom as a source of wise counsel for my marriage is invaluable! It is a gift I dare not take for granted. She loves the Lord. She loves me. She loves my husband. She loves my marriage. There are many reasons to celebrate her, but this is the one I choose today.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
I love you!

Real Life Marriage: A Really Special Day

Weekend birthdays really are the best! This birthday was especially special because my husband had the day off work and got to spend the day with me.  This is a real life marriage post because it explores what my husband did for me, and why it mattered, but also flat out, just a husband appreciation post, and I am okay with that.

Ways my husband made my birthday special:

1) He greeted me with a, “Happy birthday” in the morning. Words matter to me, and these words showed me that he knew what day it was and why it was important, which made me feel important.

2) He tended to simple tasks, like pouring water for our breakfast, which made the morning more one of ease for me.

3) He cleaned the house before 11 am. This is normally mostly my job, and it bothers me until it's done. He did all of it.

4) He did chores I really dislike (like compost, garbage, and recycles) quickly and efficiently.

5) He gave me handcrafted gifts (that I am super excited to use)!

6) He chauffeured me to all the places I wanted to go (because I really dislike driving, especially in the city).

7) He let me take a nice, long nap (even though I could have been doing other "productive things," or spending time with him.

8) He helped me open my birthday packages (which is hard for me with my focal dystonia, plus I just had an injection).

9) He went to a community event with me (even though he was not super interested in it).

10) He took sunset photos with me (not his favorite, but important to me).

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My husband pretty much loved me in all the languages (words of appreciation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and gifts). But you know what meant the most to me? That cleaning the house piece. It really set the stage for me to have a restful, free-feeling day, and it really was the best! God really did give me the best husband for me, a husband who recognizes things like this, and cares for me accordingly. I am so thankful, for my husband, and for such a beautiful day!

Celebrating a Birthday on the Cheap

I think that having a budget is important for everyone, no matter how much they make. Budgeting is especially important in our house right now, however, as we live off one income in an attempt to accomplish some life goals. Hence celebrating my birthday on the cheap. Yes, we could have set aside more money for celebrating, but I enjoy the thrill of chasing down a deal, so that's what I did. Here are tips if you want to do what I did:

1) Make time for things you love. One of those things for me is running. It doesn't cost anything, but I do need time for it. Cost of carving out that time: $0 

2) Sign up for loyalty rewards. Yes, the e-mails are pesky, but you get free stuff. For me, this was a small pillar candle. Value: $13. Cost to me: $0

3) Take advantage of free birthday meals. Yes, you might have to pay for your spouse and/or children, but you still save money. Value of hamburger: $5.84. Cost to me: $0. Cost of spouse's meal: $8.09

4) Add your birthday to earn points. Crumbl cookies is one business that gives you a freebie for doing so. Value of cookie: $5.30. Cost to me: $0. Cost of spouse's cookie: $5.30

5) Order yourself things you need, and save them to open on your birthday. I needed running shoes, which were not cheap, but a "gift," that is special. Cost of running shoes to the celebration budget: $0. Joy of opening: immense. Cost to my running budget: we won't talk about it (but I had enough in the fund to cover it).

6) Look for local free events. We are fortunate enough to have a university by us that frequently hosts events. This one was not spectacular, but it got us outside for an enjoyable evening.

Total spent on my birthday: $13.39 (plus gas)

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I think I accomplished my goal, and I enjoyed doing it! If you are a fellow cheap-ster, please share free or low cost ways you celebrate below. If you are looking for more resources about birthday freebies, I suggest the website Hey, It's Free!

35.

Thirty-five and old enough to be president (not on my bucket list)! Oh my. Part one of my goal last year was to savor life a little more. I think I did. 

Over the past year, I enjoyed some really special times with friends and family. My husband and I got in our staycation. I got promoted at work. I fit in some fun cooking projects. We got a new home air conditioner and a new car, and renovated our kitchen. God blessed me with a really good season running. I tried to savor those races and really be present, soaking up the joys after the races via wearing my race year, looking, and relooking at photos, etc. I was able to keep crocheting, and even fit in some projects other than afghans. It has been a good year, really it has.

I have also been angry, though. Angry at life. Angry about life. Angry at people, unfortunately a lot at my husband, who has not done anything wrong, but too often bears the brunt of my frustration. My life is good AND I want a different life. I want a slower life. An easier life. I want this hard season to be over.

Anger says that things aren't right, and they aren't. We live in a sin-stained world. A lot of things did go wrong. My body doesn't like the stress I am under. Fair.

The second part of my goal last year was to let Jesus be enough. Given my struggles with anger, I am not sure I have. If He was enough, I should be able to accept my current life circumstances. I should be able to hold hard and hope at the same times. I do not think I am there yet.

So maybe my goal for next year needs to be acceptance. I hesitate to even name that goal, as I know I will be tried and tested. Life will probably try and test me anyway. So here's to that goal: Accepting that hard is part of life, and being alive in year 35!

A More Accessible Yoga Challenge

Yes, I did another 30 day yoga challenge. I kind of stumbled into this one, finding it when looking for a weekly practice. The challenge was the Flexible Body, Flexible Mind yoga challenge from Yoga with Kassandra. The challenge features around 10 minutes of yoga, along with an optional activity to stretch the mind. I never did the optional activities, but I looked at most of them, and some seemed like they could be beneficial.

What I Liked About This Challenge

The practices were short. Meant to be done in the morning to wake-up, I did them in the evening to wind down. The general slow flow and stretching felt good. The cues were not exactly minimal, but Kassandra did not talk too much, meaning I could just be still and focus on relaxing.

What I Did Not Like About This Challenge

I like yoga as an athletic practice, as a calming and soothing practice, but not as a meditative or religious practice. Kassandra ended every practice in this challenge with a chant of, "om," which comes from Hindi sacred texts, and is definitely religious (Allard, 2020). I got pretty good at noticing when the, "om" was coming, and just turned off the video before then. That might not work for everyone, but it worked for me.

Conclusion

I liked this challenge. The shorter length practices and focus on stretching worked for me. The slower flow reminds me of the benefits of yoga and stretching, especially at the end of the day. While I think adding on 10-15 minutes of practice at the end of the day did result in some later bedtimes, maybe the benefits were worth it?

Reference:

Allard, S. (2020, July 16). 5 things to know about om. Hindu American Foundation. https://www.hinduamerican.org/blog/5-things-to-know-about-om