The Simplified Life (Month 4)

After months of working at this, I do not think I am actually going to get to a simplified life, or even a minimalist life. I just want to simplify so that I can enjoy the life I have. I continue to work towards that goal.

In Our Home:

I go through spurts of getting rid of stuff. For now, I am piling it up to donate. I try not to contemplate items once I remove them. If I get nostalgic, I will want them back.

I recently weeded out and donated more paper books to our little free library. As a general rule, I now read e-library books. Paper books are great, but they require carrying, which means I read them less. Paper books I keep take up space at home. We have a small home, so I need to keep paring down, rather than building up. My library is one area in which that is fairly easy to do.

In the Kitchen:

I continue to try to pare down my pantry stores. I am realizing that, since I always like making new recipes, staples need to be minimal. No use stocking up on stuff I do not know I will use. Eggs, flour, milk, fruit, those I will use. Other stuff, I need to buy as I go.

While I like to make special breakfasts on the weekend, that has not been in the cards lately. What has been in the cards is Reese's mixes. Yes, mixes. My husband really likes Reese's chocolate, and we have been on a mission to try each and every new Reese's product. Since Reese's now makes breakfast coffee cake and muffin mixes, that has been the recipe for weekend breakfasts.

As I empty out pantry stores, I am discovering that I have too many storage receptacles. (Think the Costco peanut butter jars that are great for storage, until there are 12 empties lined up on the counter.) Therefore, I tossed some of the empties. I can also save more if I really need them.

I was making and freezing halves of recipes, to give us variety. At this point, that is just more work. If the pasta recipe feeds us for five days straight, no bother. I just won't cook for the week. Maybe this is not ideal, but it is working for us right now.

In the Realm of Personal Goals:

Having multiple goals was not working for me. Each month, I pick three things to work on, and I just have to let the rest go. I am also working to make SMART goals: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (Boorgard, 2023). This month, I wanted to read seven books. That was not happening organically, so I moved to dividing the book's pages between the days of the week. Seven-hundred pages? Read 100 pages a day. It is not great to have to set goals like that, but they work.

Pat's Run went great, but I know I cannot do all the things. While I would like to run longer or do more workouts sometimes, I have to fit exercise into the time I have. If I run late getting out the door to start m exercise routine, that means I run shorter. I win some. I lose some.

In Relationships:

I stopped sending birthday cards about two years ago. I like celebrating people's birthdays, but writing is hard for me with my dystonia, so I stopped. I send texts or e-mails instead. A time has progressed, I have sent less and less snail mail. I send, "Thank you," texts or e-mails. I let gift messages sent with gifts be the cards. Hopefully people know I love and care about them. I'm just doing less.

My husband is getting ready to celebrate a big personal and professional accomplishment. I had big ideas, like taking photos and sending out announcements. None of that is happening. We are just celebrating with our parents and I purchased a special experience for him afterward. That is probably about all we will do.

Conclusion:

A simple life? I probably won't ever have it. I continue to work towards simplifying the life I have, though. I really do want to enjoy this one life God has given me to live!

Reference:

Boogard, K. (2023, December 26). How to write SMART goals. Atlassian. https://www.atlassian.com/blog/productivity/how-to-write-smart-goals

The Simplified Life (Month 3 Update)

Y'all, life is anything but simple over here! Many people have told me to let more things go, but I just can't, or won't. Here's what I have been doing, though:

Continuing to pare down my food stores--

It taxes my executive functioning to constantly keep track of ingredients and try to keep them from going bad. Therefore, I keep trying to use more of them up. The more I use up, the more I can just cook from scratch, deciding once (a la The Lazy Genius), what to do with the next ingredients I buy. Though I value efficiency and saving money, I am also sometimes spending more to buy what I need, or closer to what I need, rather than the bulk version that is cheaper by unit. I am also trying to buy more multi-purpose than single use items (eg Greek yogurt that can work in several recipes versus sour cream that only works for one.) All of this means I can zero-sum budget by pantry more quickly, and keep things more fresh.

I am finding some joy return to cooking. If I have got to do it, might as well enjoy it! This month, I have made a lot of gourmet grilled cheese. It's been fun. It's been fresh, and it has used up more of my stashes. Win all around!

Simplifying dates--

I love a good adventure, and I love my husband and enjoy spending time with him. In this season, though, intense, complicated dates just aren't for us. Rather, our dates have be short, simple, and meaningful. We have to make use of the time that we have and make it quality, because quantity sure isn't here right now. Lately, that has looked like taking 20-30 minute walks around town, trying out a new pretzel shop, and even running errands together. As my husband says, time together is what counts!

And that's a wrap on this month. Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Please feel free to share in the comments section!

Celebrating a Birthday on the Cheap

I think that having a budget is important for everyone, no matter how much they make. Budgeting is especially important in our house right now, however, as we live off one income in an attempt to accomplish some life goals. Hence celebrating my birthday on the cheap. Yes, we could have set aside more money for celebrating, but I enjoy the thrill of chasing down a deal, so that's what I did. Here are tips if you want to do what I did:

1) Make time for things you love. One of those things for me is running. It doesn't cost anything, but I do need time for it. Cost of carving out that time: $0 

2) Sign up for loyalty rewards. Yes, the e-mails are pesky, but you get free stuff. For me, this was a small pillar candle. Value: $13. Cost to me: $0

3) Take advantage of free birthday meals. Yes, you might have to pay for your spouse and/or children, but you still save money. Value of hamburger: $5.84. Cost to me: $0. Cost of spouse's meal: $8.09

4) Add your birthday to earn points. Crumbl cookies is one business that gives you a freebie for doing so. Value of cookie: $5.30. Cost to me: $0. Cost of spouse's cookie: $5.30

5) Order yourself things you need, and save them to open on your birthday. I needed running shoes, which were not cheap, but a "gift," that is special. Cost of running shoes to the celebration budget: $0. Joy of opening: immense. Cost to my running budget: we won't talk about it (but I had enough in the fund to cover it).

6) Look for local free events. We are fortunate enough to have a university by us that frequently hosts events. This one was not spectacular, but it got us outside for an enjoyable evening.

Total spent on my birthday: $13.39 (plus gas)

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I think I accomplished my goal, and I enjoyed doing it! If you are a fellow cheap-ster, please share free or low cost ways you celebrate below. If you are looking for more resources about birthday freebies, I suggest the website Hey, It's Free!

Couple Crafting

Those of you who have read my blog for a while know that I am always looking for ways to date my husband. As a refresher, I believe that dating after marriage is vital to marital health, creating shared enjoyable experiences that strengthen relationship and build a base of good times to draw from when times are hard. We've gotten in to a new thing for dates at home, recently: crafting. Crafting gives us that new experience we seek on dates. It also helps us practice teamwork. When we get done, we have something to show for our work. Win on all fronts! 

Here are a few recent date night craft projects we have tried:

Hand molding: My sister-in-law got us this kit, and we did it on our anniversary. It requires some time and prep, but it's so cool! Plus, it forced us to hold hands for five or more minutes while we waited for the mold to set. That's date night material!

Making a fabric wreath: This required quite a bit of cutting. We had to reckon with exactness versus completion. In the end, we got it done, and we still have it hanging.

Watercolor napkins: Hubby gets credit for this one. It was a fun way to express ourselves individually in a project that we can use together when we host guests.

We are just getting started on couple crafting, with hopefully many more projects to come. Hopefully crafting will keep serving us. If not, I'm sure we'll pursue some other activities. There truly are an infinite amount of ways to value each other and our marriage through dating!

Date Night Jar

Lacking inspiration for date night? I have an idea for you. Well, my good friend had an idea for me, and it is working great, so now I pass it on. What is that idea? The Date Night Jar: a jar filled with popsicle sticks containing date prompts. Some are silly. Some are serious. Some cost money. Some are free. All provide inspiration for spending quality time together.

What do you need to make this jar?

I followed the tutorial by Tastefully Eclectic, but you can really make the jar any old way you want. I repurposed a coconut oil jar (cleaned out of course) and wrote in permanent marker in craft sticks I bought from Wal-Mart.

How do you make this jar?

I sourced date night ideas from google searches, but you could write your own, or even ask your spouse to contribute ideas.

When do you use this jar?

Anytime, but especially when it's date night (yes, you should set aside a night for it!) and you have not planned. You could also use the jar to spontaneously surprise your spouse. Maybe their day is bad and you want to cheer them up. Maybe there is something to celebrate. Maybe you just want to date your spouse. No reason is a bad reason to date your spouse!

Why use this jar?

To visually remind your spouse that you value him or her. To keep you accountable for romancing your spouse. To keep your priorities straight. To enrich your marriage. To maintain a spirit of play. And more!

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Do you have to make a date night jar? No. Maybe you have other ways to keep dating alive in your marriage. This is just an idea to promote quality time with your spouse, because quality time is a jar you always want to be filling.

Real Life Marriage: Date Your Spouse

Confession. Despite all the advice we received about the importance of dating after marriage, we didn't really do it in our first year. We made a thousand excuses: We were busy. Our schedules were mismatched. The budget. We were tired. COVID closures. For whatever reason, we just didn't make dating a priority. Recently, it started getting to me. I love my husband. I am so appreciative of the privilege of doing life with him. But I miss dating. I miss the fun. I miss the spontaneity. I miss the romance. I miss the opportunities to break out of the norm. So I started trying to do "date nights" at home. I'm new at it and therefore not that experienced, but here are a few of the ideas we have tried:

Candlelight dinner: Cheesy, but classic. Break out the candles and your nice clothes to eat whatever meal you have fixed. Eat off china plates if you have them.

Game night: Break out the board games or spring for a new game that you can order online and have delivered to your home.

Living room picnic: Spread a blanket, order takeout (or make sandwiches from fridge ingredients), and sit on the floor to eat.

Pizza and a movie: If you have Amazon, there are plenty of free movies, or you can rent a movie from one of the various streaming services.

Vow renewal: We did this for our first anniversary. I recreated out rehearsal dinner and as we ate, re-read my vows to my husband out loud.

What's next? I don't know, but I hope I can keep being creative. Enjoyable experiences relieve stress. They renew. They create new memories. They strengthen relationships. Will we one day go on dates outside the home again? I hope so, but for now, at home date nights are important because they help us prioritize our marriage, and that overall makes home more enjoyable.

For King and Country Concert

I did it! I finally went to a For King and Country concert. I've liked King and Country since their song, "Fix My Eyes" came out when I was in graduate school. It became my fight song as I started my internship for counseling. Later, after my dear brother bought me the CD, "It's Not Over Yet," became especially special. My roommate was playing it the night I came home after making a call for emergency assistance. I heard it on the radio after I made the final decision to let the deal on a house I wanted to buy fall through. I've watched videos of King and Country performing and gotten a little jealous of friends on Facebook who posted about seeing them in person. So in the spirit of the #bucketlistproject, I decided I needed to find a way to see them in concert.

I asked a few friends if they wanted to go see King and Country, but none seemed that interested. When Dad offered to go with me, I jumped on the opportunity to have an extra long date with him, and benefit from him driving the hour and a half to the concert venue. (Driving is not my favorite activity in life.)

 Here we are before leaving for the concert.

Dad was excited to see Matthew West at The RoadShow, but most of this trip was a sacrifice for me. He shortcut his Sunday nap for me. He parked at the garage I wanted, not the one he wanted. He walked with me from the parking garage to the venue instead of taking the shuttle.

He took a photo with me by The Road Show backdrop.

He sat with me in our "nosebleed seats," (which turned out to be pretty good, in my opinion). The tickets were only $10, and the GCU arena of 7,000 was sold out, so I'm glad we got seats period.

 He took a selfie with me.

The concert line-up was great, a little too great in my opinion. There were too many good artists before King and Country, which was the reason for my trip, and I kind of just wanted them to hurry up. But alas. They did not.

 The evening started with Bethel Music, which set the stage for worshipping Jesus, not just seeing a performance (ahem, six performances).

Next came Zack Williams,

then Natalie Grant.

We had intermission, followed by Matthew West and Social Club Misfits. Then came For King and Country. It was quite the production,

complete with shadow screens!

The set opened with "Run Wild," followed by "To The Dreamers." Then came, Fix My Eyes," "Not Over Yet," and a song from their new album (to be released), "Choose Joy." They were singing "Shoulders" at 10 pm (the concert started at 6 pm!) when we decided to walk out and head home.

It was an exhausting night, but worth it! I so enjoyed seeing and hearing (though the decibel levels could have been much lower) King and Country in person. And now I've crossed off one more item from my bucket list. (Big shout out to Dad for facilitating!)

What items have you crossed off your bucket list lately, friends? Please share in the comments section.

Date with Dad

Today marks my second annual date with Dad to the Watson Lake Car Show. I'd argue that it's one of the largest car shows in our area, and it happens every summer about this time. Dad like cars and I like spending time with Dad, so it works for us.

Our date started with breakfast at Panera, my suggestion since it is kind of on the way to the car show. Dad had suggested a local breakfast place in our town, but I countered, and he agreed.

Yummy ham, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich

We then continued on to the car show. Thankfully Dad drove the pickup truck as the parking was in a field and a bit dicey. And there was mud. My little old four-door car wouldn't have liked that so much.

Dad usually starts at the front of the car show and works back. That's okay, except that the front part is the small engine section in the shade while the back part is the actual car show in the sunny field. Dad also likes to talk to the guys at the front which is fine, but sometimes results in it getting late and us not making it to the back of the show. So this time, I asked Dad if we could start at the back to see the cars first and we did! (We also saw some interesting swap meet items.)

There were some pretty fancy cars in the back, like a wheelie truck and an Opel and a Jaguar. Some of the coolest cars are at the front of the show with the small engines, though, like this old sheep herder's truck:

And this shiny red truck (I'd have to ask Dad what it is):

It was a good morning spent out in the sun with good company, but I think the key thing that made this date with Dad enjoyable was compromise. I used my voice to speak up and ask Dad for things that would make the time more enjoyable for me, and Dad compromised. Sure, I might not have stayed so long at certain booths or talked so long to certain people, but that was my compromise. I don't know about Dad, but I came away satisfied and content, which is the ultimate goal in any compromise. I also got to spend time with Dad which is rare, due to our work schedules, and something we're trying to work on since I didn't get along that well with Dad that well in high school and then moved away for ten years.

End of story? Second annual date with Dad to the Watson Lake Car Show = Double win!