Friday, July 10, 2026

Real Life Marriage: Home

I have had a lot of homes. Having moved many times as a child, I gave the title "home" to numerous structures and dwelling places spread out over multiple states. I called the duplex where my husband I lived when we first got married, "home." Our condo became the first home we purchased together, and after nearly a decade in Arizona, this state feels like home. But home has other definitions, too.

When my parents moved to Texas, part of my heart's home moved with them. Home to me means comfort and security and safety. I know that I need to ultimately find those in the Lord, but there is something about the familiar of home that brings that early sense of knowing and being known: our couch, our shower, our sheets and towels, our comfortable, well worn bed. Every home has its quirks, but when it is your home, you know them, and sometimes the quirks become almost endearing.

There is something about marriage, about a spouse, that becomes a home, too. That has happened for me over the past seven years as my husband has become not only my friend, partner, and lover; but also my confidant, adventure partner, and general holder-upper.

My husband is my person. He has quirks, sure, but I probably have more. I am far from truly knowing him, but there is a comfort, a familiarity, a trustworthiness, a security that I have with him and not with anyone else. I think it's supposed to be this way. We're in life together. Through marriage, God made us need each other. He made us better together. He enabled us to build a home together.

I'm not alone in coming to see home as with my husband. Shauna Niequist (2020) writes of her husband Aaron, “Wherever we are in the world, when I’m with you, I’m home.” I couldn't say it better. For now, Arizona is our home, but someday, it might not be, and that's okay. 
Sure, parts of my heart are in other places, as long as my people are in other places, but the biggest piece of my heart is always with my husband. He is home.

Reference:

Niequist, S. (2020, August 25). 19 years. In our vows, 19 years ago, I said to Aaron, “Wherever we are in the world, when I’m. [Image attached] [Status update]. Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/sniequist/posts/3830985810251906/

Saturday, July 4, 2026

Ten.


Two years ago, I felt pretty sure we would be in another place by now. I was morning and pre-grieving, trying to soak up everything as potentially "the last." God had other plans, though, and here we still are.

I have truly come to love and enjoy this place we call home. Sure, it has its downsides. Commuting through city traffic is far from my favorite. Our best Christian friends live about an hour across the valley, meaning we see them infrequently. My husband hates the heat of the Arizona valley summers. There is the dirt, and smog and trash, and a few unsafe areas. But there is also the good: walkable (and runnable, when I can run) and lit sidewalks and canal paths, more parks than we can visit in a year (just in our city alone), ample hiking trails, cacti galore, and gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.

My husband and I bought our first home here. We both progressed in our careers. We dined at a lot of great restaurants. We enjoyed a lot of fun events. We made traditions. We made friends.

Will this always be our home? Well, no. Our home is in heaven, and whether Arizona remains our earthly home for the remainder of our days or not remains to be seen. For a temporary, home, though, a decade in one state is a lot, and I feel grateful and give thanks for it.

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 26)


This Week's Eats:

Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Afghan 93


This was another afghan that I started and stopped. I started it to use up yarn, and having made several "boy" afghans, thought I should throw in pink yarn. That pink yarn held me up, as I got the wrong color of pink, which led me to start afghan 93. In the process of starting and stopping the project, I forgot how I was doing the edging, and it got a bit wonky. By the time I finished the blanket, I needed more boy afghans again. Sigh. Oh well. At least there's always crocheting to do, and thanks to my wonderful neurologist finding a treatment for my dystonia, I can still do it!

Hook: Ergonomic crochet hook size J

Yarn: Red Heart spring greenRed Heart soft navy  Mainstays white, Red Heart baby pink

Pattern: The cobblestone blanket (Stitchberry)

Finished size: 32 x 43

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Everything I Read (And Listened To) in June

My goal this month was to get to 100 books. That would require reading 10 books this month. Did I do it? Just barely (And then I squeezed in the completion of one more audiobook). Although my book list this month is a lot shorter than last month's, I enjoyed the reading and even found a new favorite author in the process!

90. Outlaw Sheriff by Kathleen Y’Barbo—Caleb Wilson hopes and prays he is going to get a new start when he settles in Dime Box, Arizona. Soon, enough though, Mayor Ed Thompson is hauling him over to the jail and he wonders what the charge is this time. Meanwhile, Lydia Bertrand comes west as an unwilling mail-order bride. Caleb is surprised when, instead of imprisoning him, the mayor makes him sheriff, and Lydia’s servant says that Lydia is his mail-order bride. Caleb quickly realizes he’s not the man everyone thinks he is, and he decides to come clean. What comes next is surprising and sweet. I flew through this book like a whirlwind, and thoroughly enjoyed it!

91. A Gamble on Love by Tamela Hancock Murray—The Wilson brother saga ends as youngest brother Benjamin decides to leave the saloon where his brothers left him,and he grew up to become a cheating card dealer. He wouldn’t have left except that Pearl, his co-card shark and the woman he loves, is going home to care for her ailing mother. Benjamin plans to continue his card-dealing ways, but because of Pearl, becomes instead an honest, working man instead. He also meets Jesus, which changes everything for him. This story contains some sweet references to biblical stories like the woman with the alabaster jar of perfume, the healing of Peter’s mother-in-law, and more. Hancock really did a great job of summing up the series here. I wish this Texas brides novella collection was just the Wilson brother stories, because they really were the best ones!

92. The Big Miss: My Years Coaching Tiger Woods by Hank Haney—I hoped this book would help me to have more understanding and empathy for Tiger Woods. It did, and it didn’t. Honestly, a lot of it made me like Woods less. According to the accounting of Hank Haney, Wood’s coach of six years, Woods was notoriously self-centered. Woods did not share much with anyone. He pulled “pranks” like putting on adult TV when he shared a room with devout Christian Zach Johnson. He tipped poorly. It was hard to coach him. Haney says Woods’ self-centeredness helped him win, but winning isn’t forever. Woods went through a string of injuries, and then scandals, and missed a lot in some major tournaments. Then Haney resigned as his coach. As Haney writes in the end, Woods’ psychological issues and character are Woods’ biggest misses. At publishing in 2012, Haney believed Woods might overcome his missed and bounce back to big successes, but 14 years later, I am not so sure. I finished the book sad for Tiger Woods, for the game that overcame him, and for the life that seems to have left him.

93. My Mess is a Bit of a Life: Adventures in Anxiety by Georgia Pritchett [Audiobook]—This book appealed to me because of its title, the content, not so much. In this short collection of essays and stories, screenwriter Georgia Pritchett chronicles her struggles with anxiety, starting as a young child, moving through young adulthood, and then into motherhood. Pritchett writes with a cynical, dark, dry, sardonic tone, and rarely a speck of good news. She uses the F word often (as is more common in the United Kingdom), has values that conflict with mine, and there are depictions of sexual abuse that could be triggering for some. While I empathize with having a mess of a life, and I really do hope that writing this book helped Pritchett get on with her life, I unfortunately, cannot recommend reading (or listening).

94. Sick Girl by Amy Silverstein—I started reading this book, eager to understand more about heart transplant. Then the dark parts started, and just kept coming. Silverstein became the “sick girl” when she encountered cardiac myopathy that led to ventral fibrillation, and then flatlining at age 24. At age 25, she got her first heart transplant. (She states that she had two transplants, but only writes about one in this book.) It might seem like that was the start of health, but it really wasn't. It was the start of a new life of being sick due to immunosuppressant drugs, medicines that patients need, but that doctors really do not know how to dose. This book exposes so many hard parts of being sick, plus the inadequacies of the medical system. There might be a lot that can't be fixed, but what can be addressed is the need for empathy and presence. Sick or not, everybody needs somebody.

95. My Glory Was I Had Such Friends: A Memoir by Amy Silverstein [Audiobook]—I really liked this book. It was explicit, and sad, but also beautiful. A counter to Silverstein's first book, Sick Girl, this memoir chronicles how Silverstein’s friends came through in offering her the kinds of support she craved in her first book. Relocated to California due to the need for a second heart transplant, Silverstein quickly found herself hospitalized due to the rapid decline in her health. Literally, through the worst of times, her friends were there for her: hanging pictures, keeping nurses away so Silverstein could sleep, holding vomit bowls while she threw up, staging coups to escape the hospital, etc. Silverstein had a very rough time, especially when required to get a pacemaker to keep her failing first heart beating. Each day and night were a fight for life, and Silverstein was ready to give up, until a heart transplant came to her six days before her 1A transplant status expired. The end of the book finds Silverstein feeling as healthy as ever, revealing in nature, grateful for the friends that go her through to this new stage of living. While Silverstein did pass away in 2023, she lived a good eight or nine years with her new heart, and this book lives on as a testimony to the people who helped her get there. What glory that she had such friends!

96. A Dance in Donegal by Jennifer Deibel—Okay, this book is a keeper! Not one for historical fiction, I read this book because of a trip planned to Ireland. It took me a little bit to get into the book, but then the story of Moira Doherty’s journey to Donegal, Ireland to become the new schoolteacher danced away with me. This book is not short on real life, bringing with it many emotions including joy, grief, love, anger, and fear. Woven throughout the multi-layered, book are many spiritual truths. Through it all, the theme of God’s presence and ability to redeem all things shines forth. This is a beautiful book, and you’d better believe that I am going to read more from this author!

97. Now Go Out There (and Get Curious) by Mary Karr [Audiobook]—I don’t know if I should really count this short commencement address as a book, but it was in the Libby app as an audiobook, so I am adding it to my list! In this short address, Syracuse professor Mary Karr chronicles her journey from a tough childhood in rough and tumble Texas, to a stay in a mental hospital, to a poetry residency. She states that “Getting what you want often scares you more than not getting it,” and that “the opposite of love is fear.” She encourages people to get curious about what scares them, and replace revulsion with curiosity. Facing fear can be the start of something great, and provide opportunities for empathy. “Go out there and buy somebody broker than you lunch,” she ends her speech, and in that is not only an admonition, but an invitation to know self and others better. At only 21 minutes, this address is worth going out there and listening to.

98. Cooking Well: Osteoporosis by Marie-Annick Courtier—Thankfully I don’t have osteoporosis (yet). I am trying to increase bone healing nutrients in my diet after my running injury, though. This book was not helpful in that process. It is old, dated, photo less (I like photos in cookbooks) and very focused on restrictive dieting (low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb). (The author even says to refuse food if in doubt about how it was prepared. Sorry, I’d rather be fed!) I think the author might also be British, as some of the terms in the book seem British rather than American. (That’s not a problem, just something to note.) All in all, this book was a dud. Thankfully it didn’t take me long to skim through it.

99. Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges by Mona Delahooke, PhD, read by Coleen Marlo [Audiobook]—Mona Delahooke is a clinical and consulting pediatric psychologist, but she is not into diagnosing kids. She is into helping them become their best selves. With lots of understanding and compassion, Delahooke encourages caregivers and professionals to look underneath behaviors before trying to change them. She focuses on the power of attuned relationships, and how those can literally change children's trajectories. While her book is clinical, it is also accessible and practical, containing both composite stories of clients, as well as worksheets to use with one's own children or clients. I think this is a great resource for parents and professionals alike!

100. The Lady of Galway Manor by Jennifer Deibel—I have definitely found a new favorite author! And it turns out she lives in Arizona, too. In this book, Lady Annabeth DeLacy starts up an apprenticeship at Jenning’s jeweler’s shop after her father becomes landlord of Galway Parish in Ireland. Tensions between their British family and the local Irish people are high, but that does not dissuade Annabeth. Rather, she seeks to learn about, and comes to love the local people. Her situation is complex, though, as without a son, she as eldest daughter is expected to save the family. Then there is the matter of Stephen Jennings, hurt so badly by the exodus of his first love, and the murder of his brother that he dares not connect with others. This story has so many layers of complexity, and its portrayal of sacrificial love nearly brought me to tears. This book is definitely worth reading!

101. 
This is Me: Living the Person You Are Today by Chrissy Metz [Audiobook]—I have never watched This is Us, the show that made Chrissy Metz famous, but the title of her book caught my eye. As I listened to her story, I winced with pain over the abuse she endured. I chuckled over some of the experiences she shared in a such a wry, dry, way. I celebrated her work to be herself, to forgive, and to treat others with respect. Some people say that Chrissy is a Christian. This book points to spirituality, but does not really document faith. (She also does some non-traditional Christian things like swearing and consulting a shaman.) This book might trigger some, but others might find it inspiring. All in all, it was a worthwhile lesson for me as I continue to explore my own identity and owning all God made me to be.

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Has anybody else read 100 books already this year? Or am I just overly voracious?

Monday, June 29, 2026

LESS Lying (To Myself)


If you've been reading along, it's been a (few) months. Truly, my life is not the worst it could be, but it is not the best, either. There is one thing I would like to do more of (running), but I can't do that. And there are a lot of things I could do less of. Up for consideration this month were less running (but hey, I'm already doing that), less overthinking (decide once), less loneliness (to motivate me to reach out to friends), less discontent (with a focus on increasing novelty, and less lying to myself. I settled on that last one on the premise that doing what I said I would do would help my motivation, and my mental health. I also kept seeing wellness creator Ashley LeMieux talk about the transformational nature of keeping promises to herself . I told myself to keep at least one promise to myself a day, but I didn't even do that. Here's what I did do:

I realized that a lot of promises to myself come down to a time crunch. I tell myself I'll do the fun thing, the self-care thing, the thing for myself after I get all my other responsibilities done. When I've completed those responsibilities, though, I often don't have time to do "my" thing, or I am just too tired to enjoy it. 

I experimented with keeping promises to myself, even if it meant running late (usually to work, or to my self-appointed next task). Thankfully I didn't actually shirk too many of my duties. (I have some flexibility with my admin time at work, for example, and if I get to work a little later, I can make up that time elsewhere.) I did find it stressful to run late, however.

I tried remaking promises to myself when I failed the first one (e.g. getting out for a walk at 6:30 instead of 6 AM). Sometimes, I still failed the second promise. Sometimes I failed a third time. And sometimes, I just didn't do anything for myself at all.

In some ways, keeping promises to myself reduced overthinking. If I told myself I was going to do something, I needed to do it in order not to make myself a liar. I realized that I can't just keep giving up on myself and expecting life to get better. I have to "bet on" myself by taking risks. And following through on things is making myself a truth-teller, whereas chickening out makes me a liar.

I could do a lot better to truth tell to myself. I could do better about being motivated and making promises to myself. Ultimately, I think that comes down to resting in the Truth Teller Himself, Jesus Christ, and my identity in Him. I could do to be a lot better connected to Him, and if I was, I would probably have a much, much better perspective on life and truly living in it.

Reference:

LeMieux, Ashley. [@AshleyLeMieux]. (2025, March 7). Keeping one promise a day to yourself is the most impactful way to change your life, and I’ll stand by. [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DG6MDSeSfg8/?hl=en

Sunday, June 28, 2026

The More of LESS Report (June)



I said this was going to be a year of less, and it’s turning out to be one, though not in the way I would like. Having not run since May, I’m not at less miles, I am at zero miles. I’ve had a little less work, but a lot more doctor’s appointments. (Thankfully I’ve been able to take sick time for them.) I have been doing less, but mostly because I can't do more.


There are certainly blessings in the slow-down, but I’m also struggling. My motivation has been low, and I’ve frittered away much of my time instead of doing purposeful things with it. I’ve written less, spent little time with friends, and even reclused from my husband. I haven’t worn a full face of makeup in weeks. I stopped painting my nails for a while. I’m dressing in the comfiest, loosest, stretchiest clothes I have. I haven’t been greatly disciplined about sleep or making our meals more nutritious. (I’ve been eating a lot, but not in the best proportions, or from the best sources.) I have been tanking, spiraling, deteriorating. Whatever I want to call it, it’s hasn’t been the kind of purposeful, intent-full life of less for which I hoped. I feel like all my goals have gone into the dumpster, or at least not had much meaningful effort applied to them. Could I change things? Yes? No? Maybe? But what’s the point? I need a renewed sense of purpose. As for my LESS goals, well, let's just say I have been making less, rather than more progress:


January-LESS scrolling:
This goal is definitely not goaling. I am spending way too much time on social media. I tell myself to stop, but then I pick my phone right back up to look for something that will take my mind off my inertia, bring a hit of dopamine to my dopamine depleted brain. It does not work, but I keep doing it, and that, my friends, is the definition of insanity.

February-LESS picking: This is better when I have my phone in my hand, but worse when I just feel terrible about my body.

March-LESS hunger (judgment)This goals is a, "Yes," and a "No." I have been "giving in" to my hunger a lot. Supposedly part of the cure for this injury is eating in excess so that the body will heal. Have I gained weight? Yep, at about a pound a week since I got injured. My dietitian says this is good, but it does not feel good. So in summary, yes, I have been "honoring," my hunger, but I have also been angry at it and uncomfortable with its results, so a draw in this one.

*Note, I guess in some ways, it is a blessing that I have been so hungry. Hunger makes it easier to eat the amount I supposedly need to heal. Stuffing myself would make me feel even worse.

April-LESS goals: Well, I am stagnated here. I keep trying to find a goal that interests me as much as running, and so far, the only thing I have been doing is cooking more sourdough recipes. That is good, but not necessarily a parallel or "replacement."

In an effort to try to get motivated, I did start stacking up the goals again, too. This month, I was working towards a five minute plank challenge and a daily crunches challenge. That was probably too much on top of physical therapy exercises. I also tried to reach out to a friend everyday. Maybe I did not need to make this a daily goal, but it did help me at least try to navel gaze less.

May-LESS no: I honestly kind of forgot about this goal until my husband asked me to do some things. One thing, I asked to do on a different day. In the second instance, when I got him a lobster roll for National Lobster Day, I gave my immediate, "No," to his offer of a bite. I did realize this, though, and kind of prayed he would ask again so I could say, "Yes." He asked. I said, "Yes," and I have to say, lobster is not worth the hype, in my opinion. But hey, I kept with an intention in a small way for one day. (And a few other days, I made it, too.)

__

In other areas, I find I am not missing the "less" in my closet much at all. In fact, growing out of my clothes might make my closet even more minimal!This month, I tried to clean out some of our freezer stores of food. (I used quite a bit, but we still have a bit. Frozen meals are not bad, but when the chest freezer no longer has room to fit much more, it is time to decrease inventory.) I have been doing less activities, and missing them, but surviving. Honestly, I would really like a "more" life right now, but for right now, this is the life I have. By God's grace, and in His power, may I be grateful for it and at least for the next month, complain a little less.

Monday, June 22, 2026

Saying Goodbye to My "Running Body"


It's been six weeks, and I haven't run, even a step. My body knows it. My body shows it. While I wasn't on this running journey to alter my body, I was enjoying the changes it affected. I like seeing bigger leg muscles when I squatted. I liked what I thought were my strong calves. I was lifting heavier dumbbells than I ever had in my life. I felt tight and fit and strong, and then I had to stop running.

My ability to exercise at all decreased greatly when I got injured. Thankfully, I could still move a little bit, but even then, it was minuscule compared to what I was doing before. My body hurt. I couldn't squat down. Even sitting caused discomfort. I felt very old and debilitated. 

In addition to my body changing what it could do, it also started changing physically. Energy surplus is needed to heal bone, and in eating to create that, I started gaining (and am still gaining) weight. With lowering my exercise, that weight has not really gone to muscle. It is going to my love handles, and belly, and thighs. For the time being, I have stopped wearing all fitted pants and resorted to wearing drawstring jeans, dresses, stretchy bike shorts, and leggings only. I considered buying new clothes, but decided to forgo that expense until my body decides to settle, and that might be a while, as part of healing the metabolic injury that we believe might have caused my injury is maintaining a continued energy surplus.

As my pain has decreased, I have thankfully been able to be more active, but not in the usual ways. I can lift weights, but only really for arm and core work. I can do pull-ups, but with less reps, as my strength-gains had not kept up with my weight gain. I can do cardio, but only on an uphill treadmill, or via the recumbent bike, a machine at which I am notoriously weak. My body is not capable of what it once was.

Whether it is fat gain, muscle gain, or both, my shirts have also gotten tighter, particularly my tank tops. While I have always wanted to grow my arms and look stronger, this change has also seemed hard. Not only are my pants tight, but my shirts, too? Great. I might just need a whole new wardrobe, tops and bottoms by the time this is done!

I eagerly await the day when I might get cleared to try to run again, but in the meantime, I am grieving my running body. Even if I get to run again in the future, it won't be in the same way. I will have to go more slowly and incorporate more cross training. I will need to spend more time doing strengthening exercises to build my bone, to hopefully keep this type of injury from happening again in the future. If/when I get to return to my sport, it will be with a new body, and then that body will also morph and shift and change. 

While I'd rather not have these body changes*, my choices are to fight them, or to work at accepting them. My old running body is gone, and that has to be okay because though I didn't realize it at the time, the old running body I had wasn't sustainable. So I'm moving forward and saying goodbye. Running or not, there is a new model of this body coming, and I want to be here for it.

--

*Body changes are uncomfortable. Maybe as a smaller sized person, I shouldn't talk about mine, but they are part of life, for everyone, so I think maybe I should. Saying goodbye to our past selves is hard, but it is really the only way forward. And the only way to say goodbye is to grieve what was, and to make room for what is yet to come. 

Sunday, June 21, 2026

Dad, Friend to Anyone and Everyone


"C'mon, kids." Dad would say. "We're going to go visit some people." 

We would sigh, roll our eyes, and load up in our van. We knew what we were in for: a day full of sitting in other people's houses, listening to adults talk, while we kids sat and tried to be polite, (or not). We'd go from house to house this way, sometimes all day, not really playing, but just sitting. (This was unless Mom intervened, and for one summer, she couldn't, because she was at the hospital, working to renew her nursing license). I didn't understand the significance of those visits then, but now I do. My dad literally had enough friends to visit them for hours on end, without running out of things to talk about, or more people to see.

My dad has always been that way: a friend to anyone and everyone. My mom talks often about how my dad would pick people up to give them rides when he worked second or night-shift in downtown Charlotte, North Carolina. That was not the safest part of town, but Dad had a heart to help people, and help people, he did.

Mom also talks about Dad's coworkers, people who would not step into our home, but would join my dad at the pond or the lake for fishing. While those people did not feel at ease in our home, they felt comfortable with Dad, because Dad was a friend to anyone and everyone.

Dad made lots of friends when he ran his bulk water delivery business. He even made some four-legged ones and carried treats for them inside the cab of his semi. After he sold his business, he went to work for some of his well-drilling friends. I am sure he would have found a job with other friends, if not those ones.

Friends came out of the woodwork from anywhere and everywhere when Dad had open heart surgery three years ago. Those people supported him and my mom in all sorts of ways. Dad had loved them through some dark times, and they loved them through his.

Go for a walk with Dad through his new neighborhood, and you'll find him receiving coffee from one man, petting the next neighbor's horses, and saying hello to the neighborhood donkey. Dad made friends with one neighbor and helped him with a mechanic project. Dad gets eggs from another neighbor for whom he did some side jobs. Dad has already joined the local tractor club (and he got into tractors because of one of the Arizona friends he made). Occasionally, Dad gets the outdoor cat to come around. 

When we visited last summer, my husband got the, "We're going to visit some people" tour. (Thankfully, my husband was mature enough not to sigh, and to rather go along and enjoy the experience.) Dad went around the neighborhood, seeing whose garage doors were open so that he could say, "Hi," introduce his son-in-law and chit-chat.

Dad's ability to make friends probably comes from his mother, of whom it was said could "evangelize a brick wall" because she was kind and friendly. Dad carries on that legacy. More than that, Dad carries around the message of Jesus (Matthew 11:19, Luke 7:34), who was a friend to all kinds of people: rich and poor; sinner and saved. Dad doesn't care about status or stature. He cares about people. He knows who he is in Jesus, and he's not afraid to be that person with everyone.

I can see now why Dad loved those visiting days we had as a kid. He is an extrovert and gets his energy from people. As an introvert, I am not the same, but I can now appreciate my dad for who he is, and those visiting days for what they were. Dad possesses the ability to be friends with anyone and everyone, and that is admirable, and to be praised.

Thanks, Dad, for being a living legacy. I love you. Happy Father's Day!

Monday, June 15, 2026

Afghan 92


I tell myself to work on only one afghan at a time, but I run into reason after reason to start several. Case in point: this was a second afghan that I started because I got the wrong color of pink to continue on the first afghan I started. This afghan, with its alternating half double crochet pattern turned out to be pretty easy and mindless, so I decided to finish it first, and I like the way it turned out! It is not quite the 40 x 40 inch size I wanted, but when are my blankets ever the size I expect? It is about time for a pink blanket, too (though as circumstances would have it, I need boy baby blankets right now). Here are the details for the blanket:

Hook: Size I placed into a Boye ergonomic crochet hook handle

Pattern: Cozy textured throw (Stitchberry)

I chained 141.

Finished size: 38 x 38 inches (approximating 30 x 35 stroller size)


Wednesday, June 10, 2026

Real Life Marriage: Far From Perfect


Seven. The number of perfection. That's how many years we've been married, but let me tell you, our marriage is far from perfect. We still miscommunicate on an almost daily basis. We hurt each other's feelings. We don't understand each other. We frustrate one another. But by God's grace, we're growing.

We're growing in communication. We're understanding each other maybe just a bit better. We're missing each other in smaller ways, instead of in bigger ways. We're working as a team a little more smoothly. We're recovering from our mishaps a little bit faster.

We worked as a team this past month when my brother got married. I was the impromptu wedding coordinator, and my husband didn't miss a step. I'm not always the best at asking for what I need, but this time, when He asked, I told him. He didn't complain or hem and haw. He just did it. He stepped in where he could and out where he couldn't. I had to believe that our marriage was strong enough to withstand any miscommunications that might be had, as my focus was to bless my brother and sister-in-law on their special day. My husband understood the mission.

Seven years ago, this would not have happened. We didn't understand each other well enough. He didn't know my family well enough. I didn't know him well enough, nor he me. I probably didn't trust him like I should, and I am not sure he knew how to help me like I needed. This time, by God's grace, we were on the same page, and on the same team.

The wedding went off with a few minor mishaps, and left behind our marriage intact, and me more grateful for it. Our marriage is far from perfect, but some days, like this one, when things click, I'm many times reminded that marriage is a gift, when it works, and when we are working at making it work, too.


Monday, June 1, 2026

(No) Medal Monday


Many things have humbled me this year. We'll all this one to the list: my first DNS (did not start). I have been in awe (and somewhat prided myself) at the fact that I have been able to start every race for which I registered. (Well, not the COVID races, but that was outside my control.) I got hungry this year, and I registered for both the Shiprock half marathon and another one at about the same time. I saw no reason why I could not race one and fun run the other. Enter stress fracture and I'm not running at all.

I shed some tears when I cancelled our flights and hotels for this weekend. I could not find anyone to whom to transfer my race bib, but at least the race benefitted a local to the area charity. I have flight credits for the money I spent on our plane tickets. Maybe we will be able to find a new place to go. Maybe not.

The whole things stinks, but it is what it is. At least I am not back to walking outside for a decent amount of time. I found a bone stress injury physical therapist and have started back into the early phases of rehab. (Return to run is still months out.) I have many things for which to be grateful, and I am still grieving.

We planned to spend the weekend starting a gym membership (so my husband has an air-conditioned place for workouts, and so I have access to more machines for rehab). Our dear friends who knew about our cancelled plans, though, drove all the way across the valley on their one free Saturday for the summer to come visit us and cheer me up. We went to the park and watched their son run around and feed the ducks. We went to Henhouse Cafe and ordered Arizona's largest pancakes. We talked about life and dreams and hopes and healing.

Was it the weekend we planned? No, but in terms of eternity, it was probably far better. Our friends continued to show us their true character. I remembered that there are many places to find joy outside of running. We still got to enjoy some good food at at new-to-us restaurant. God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good (even on a no medal Monday).

Sunday, May 31, 2026

Everything I Read (And Listened To) in May


With running records off the table, I went for a reading record instead, and I made this decision late in the game. I read (and listened to) 20 books in March. On May 22, I was only at 10 or 11 books for the month, however. That meant I would need to read 10 or 11 more books in the final 9 days of the month to meet my goal. Challenge on. I listened to audiobooks instead of podcasts. I might have tuned out my husband a little bit while I tried to cram in pages (not recommended). I read books (e.g. novellas) I probably would not have apart from this goal. Is that sort of cheating? Maybe. But whether it is cheating or not, it required effort and intention, and I am giving myself credit for that. Books for the month included:

65. Strong is the New Beautiful: Embrace Your Natural Beauty, Eat Clean, and Harness Your Power by Lindsey Vonn with Sarah Toland—Lindsey Vonn came back into prominence with her 2026 Olympics appearance (and near deadly crash). This book is dated—from 2016–but I still thought it might give me a window into who she is and how she lives. It did. While I don’t agree with everything in this book (and some pictures are inappropriate), I do appreciate her encouragement to work out to be strong (instead of just to lose weight), and learn to love (or at least appreciate) one’s own body. The book does contain some basic nutrition and workout advice, but it’s basic and at, this point, dated. I look forward to getting into more of Vonn’s actual life story through her autobiography, Rise.

66. For the Love of the Grind by Sara Hall—Man am I glad I read this book! I have been a fan of Sara Hall (and her husband Ryan) for quite some time! The Halls live in Flagstaff, and they are professed Christians who unashamedly share their faith and how it has changed over the years. This book shares more of Sara’s story in particular (since Ryan already wrote two books), from how Sara and Ryan met, to their journey of adoption, and the recent injury cycles Sara has overcome in order to keep competing in the marathon. This book is gritty, raw, and real. In it, Sara Hall shares some of the struggles of parenting children with a history of trauma (which she does so eloquently, naming the pains, but not the particulars, so as to protect her daughters’ privacies). She shares moments of despair, as well as true moments of joy. This is really a book not just for runners, but for anyone wrestling with their calling and trying to figure out not just how to show up in the world, but how to show up with love, care, and compassion for self and others. I don’t know how long Hall will get to run, but I do know that she is making a difference in the sport of marathoning, and many (including me) admire her for it.

67. Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety & Compassion to Move Through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing by Aundi Kolber MA, LPC [Audiobook]—Aundi Kolber is a trauma survivor and a therapist. In this book, she uses her own experience, as well as the composite experiences of her clients (written as individual characters) to share techniques for trauma recovery. Although she does not suggest doing self-EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), she does suggest using some tools from EMDR in the trauma recovery process. While this book is very good, empirically based and written with so much empathy, I still think it might be a bit clinical for most people. I would recommend using this book in work with a trusted therapist for most safety and best prognosis for healing.

68. Eat. Lift. Thrive. by Sohee Lee—Lindsey Vonn’s book Strong in the New Beautiful got me interested in strength and conditioning and personal training concepts, and so I read this book. While I don’t intend to be a power lifter or body builder, I found it interesting to read about the “big rocks” of nutrition and sleep. The exercise descriptions and photos could be helpful to someone trying to fine tune a strength program. I would argue that hiring a personal trainer would be easier than trying to study and figure out moves on one’s own, but if that is what a person wants, this book even includes some starter body building plans. I do appreciate Lee’s focus on having a fulfilling life outside of exercise, and I hope reading this book can continue to help me, and others, continue to seek that full life.

69. An Apology in Bloom by Suzanne Woods Fisher—I didn’t realize this was a novella, so I was a little shocked to see how few pages loaded when I checked out the book on Libby. Still, it was fun, and it turns out there are three other novellas in the lot. A post-COVID book, this follows Jaime Harper as she attempts to make it as a wedding florist in New York City. This isn’t her home, but rather the place she escaped after she left her home in North Carolina. Jaime lacks self-confidence and even gets her job at Epic Events because of viral apology bouquets she makes for her neighbor. There are definitely some ends left untied with this story, but I am eager to read the next installment of the story and see if any of them get knotted, or tied into a bow.

70. Rise: My Story by Lindsey Vonn [Audiobook]—Lindsey Vonn recaptivated the sports world when, at 41, she skied in the 2026 Olympics, only to suffer a horrific crash that caused her to be airlifted off the mountain. This is her story of life before that moment, though, of her nine year-old dreams of becoming an Olympian; of the many injuries she suffered, and came back from; of the records she broke, and the sport that nearly broke her. She writes about mental health, relationships, identity, and more. This book could not have been more timely for me as I face a running injury and must take time off my sport. Sure, few are at Vonn’s level, but she is still an “every girl” in some ways because of how raw and real she is. With that, I do have to warn that she uses the “F” word (as well as some other colorful language) a lot in this book. If that is bothersome, read (or listen, as I did) with care. Otherwise, I think this is an insightful book.

71. Bouquet of Dreams by Suzanne Woods Fisher—Claire Murphy left Sunrise at the same time as her friends Jaime and Tessa. She ran off to work at Same Day Delivery florist in Georgia. After an altercation at a customer service rehabilitation conference, however, her job comes to an end. Her old boyfriend Chris Reid encourages her to go home, delivering to her a letter from her old boss, Rose Reid, inviting her to do so. Claire isn’t sure, but she decides to take the risk and go forward not on dreams, but on faith.

72. A Field of Beauty by Suzanne Woods Fisher —Tessa Anderson fled Sunrise, North Carolina after a series of bad high school decisions. Now she’s graduated college and turned an acre of land into a wildflower farm with the help of Dawson Greene, a sustainability instructor who becomes her farm manager. When things with her boyfriend go south and it looks like the city will eminent domain her farm, Tessa goes home to Sunrise and finds there an opportunity to once again compost the past and work to rehabilitate land and turn it into a place of beauty. This book, perhaps because of its more complex plot, is my favorite novella on the series so far. I am excited to see how all the stories align in the last installment of this series.

73. A Future in Blossom by Suzanne Woods Fisher—The Year of Flowers anthology concludes as Jaime, Claire, and Tessa all return to Sunrise, North Carolina. Jaime and Claire run Rose’s flower shop while Tessa works to start a new flower farm. They come together to throw a wedding for the client from An Apology in Bloom, and then to rehash what happened the night of the fire that drove them all apart. They learn about why Rose called them back, and get opportunities to love and be loved. Short and sweet, I liked each of theses stories and would recommend them to anyone—short attention span like me, or voracious reader who wants a lot of sweetness in not too much story.

74. And Then Came Joy by Jodi Cowles—Such an engaging heartwarming (and heart wrenching) story, and it’s true! Jodi is not only my cousin, but also a gifted author, and such a brave woman of faith. This is Jodi’s story of early loss and grief, the Beast of fear that dogged her for years, and the many victories God gave her over him, both small and great in degree. It is the story of Jodi and her husband Tim adopting their daughter Joy and getting Joy physically out of Joy’s birth country of Turkey, but also a story emotional, mental, and spiritual wrestling. Profound and deep, but also comical at times, this is a gritty memoir about joy in all its facets, as well as a continued celebration of the beautiful girl Joy herself.

Order the book here: https://bluehatpublishing.com/products/then-came-joy-by-jodi-cowles 

75. Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life by Nir Eyal—This book came to me by way of citation in The Fun Habit, and it seemed apt for a season of life where I have been anything but indistractable. With nice short chapters containing clear headings and bulleted conclusion points, I found this book easy to read. (I tried not to let myself get distracted as I read each chapter, but alas, I still did sometimes.) In these chapters, Eyal details his own struggles with distraction, as well as giving readers a road map for exploring what they are trying to escape, addressing it, and then hacking back external triggers for distraction. He encourages values based-living, and time-blocking to live out those values (rather than just ignoring tech and other distractions all-together.) It would be great if I could just have the fruit of the Spirit of self-control and be indistractable, but the reality is that fruit takes some nurturing to grow. This book provides some ideas about how to get there.

76. Stranded in Paradise: A Story of Letting Go by Lori Copeland—A little bit romantic comedy, a little bit self-help, and an engaging enough story make this a fairly quick read. Tess Nelson just got laid off, but she still has her business plane tickets to Hawaii. Carter Nelson is trying to release the stress of his job as flight controller. They run into each other at the airport and together experience a series for very unfortunate events, including a hurricane. Carter’s faith grows, and Tess learns about trust, in God and in people. While I wouldn’t rank this book at the top of my preference list, it’s far from one I’d be forced to read if stranded. The takeaway message about trust is one I needed, too.

77. Hungry for God: Honoring God’s Voice in the Ordinary and the Everyday by Margaret Feinberg [Audiobook]— Honestly, I listened to this book because it was short, and I had a book goal to meet for the month. It was a beneficial book in which the author lays out various ways to hear from God. She includes her own experiences as well as quotes and stories from others to show how God speaks through scripture, prayer, Lectio Divina, liturgy, dreams, journaling, conscience, wise counsel, art, nature, circumstances, and more. This is a good book, and one that encouraged me to consider more ways that I can attune to God’s voice.

78. Conquering Anorexia: The Route to Recovery by Clare Lindsay—Clare Lindsay had good enough parents, but she did not learn to express herself or be assertive with them. This, coupled with poor early peer relationships, resulted in low self-esteem, and a descent into anorexia that she realized she used to gain attention and care. Her story isn’t everyone’s story, and due to the potentially triggering details included, I cannot really recommend reading it. Lindsay writes that putting together this book gave her motivation to conquer anorexia, however, and that is admirable. At the time of writing, she was a counselor for individuals with eating, disorders, too. That also is laudable. The existence of this book, even if not a recommended read, does provide hope for recovery, and that is definitely worth writing about.

79. There’s Always Tomorrow by Darlene Mindrup—Dathan Adams lives in isolation, running the lighthouse. Adrella Murphy sees Dathan only occasionally when she and her father, a shopkeeper, take deliveries to Datah. Adrella is intrigued by Dathan, but knows little of his world. Then a hurricane thrusts them together for an extended, and frightening time on the island where their trust and friendship grow. When they are able to go back to shore, there is no place for Adrella to stay, so out of duty and propriety, Dathan marries her and takes her back to the lighthouse. For a shorter story, this tale really packs in a lot about learning to trust God and others. This book failed to be about Ireland, which is why I selected it, but there's always tomorrow for reading Irish books. This one was a good one, and I am glad I found it!

80. Serena’s Strength by DiAnn Mills—This is a true Texas novella, about Texas Ranger’s daughter Serena Talbot and the Ranger’s lieutenant, Chet Wilkinson. Just turning 18, Serena has been in love with Chet since he first came around. She may be slight, but she is strong, and when Chet sees her strength, he falls in love with her, too. Serena’s protective Pa, however, strictly forbids the relationship. It takes Chet (with Serena’s help), saving the family from banditos, to make Pa reconsider. Serena then gets both a new horse and a marriage proposal for her birthday. Historical fiction isn’t usually my thing, but since this novella was short, didn’t mind reading it in order to get to my reading goals for the month.

81. I Just Wish I Had a Bigger Kitchen And Other Lies I Think Will Make Me Happy: Simple Mindset Shifts to Love the Life You Already Have by Kate Strickler [Audiobook]—I think this book was more for moms than for me, but it was still a good one for me to listen to. In what she calls a "working memoir," Naptime Kitchen founder Kate Strickler works through ten lies she has believed. She encourages mindset shifts to reframe each lies, as well as ways to make the shifts "practical." She encourages thinking about priorities and focusing on those, letting other things go. "If I can get serious about what matters to me, I can own my choices and stop worrying abut how I stack up on score cards that aren’t even mine," she writes. That quote stuck with me. Loving my life really is more about increasing contentment and decreasing comparison-to my ideal self or to anyone else.

82. Recapturing the Wonder: Transcendent Faith in a Disenchanted World by Mike Casper—I read this book in my sprint to the finish of May so read this review in that light. I think this was a good book, but for me, it was a subject better covered by an article, than a book. In the book, Mike Casper argues for a more “enchanted” life in the world, being aware not only of the world, but of God and others in it. He has some good points. I agree that Christians need not just spiritual disciplines, but more connection with God. Casper suggestions some pathways towards that end. Those are interesting and could be helpful if practiced. Maybe I should have dug in deeper, and gotten more enchanted with this concept, but for me, this book was not particularly transformational.

83. The Reluctant Fugitive by Darlene Mindrup—April Hansen feels ecstatic when her prodigal brother Ted returns home. Her elation is short lived, however, as Ted rapidly gets her involved in a bank heist that leads to her being taken hostage. Soon enough, April is no longer with the robbing band, but under the watch of Texas Ranger Yellow Wolf Jackson. While she initially rejects the ranger's attention, and he struggles to believe her innocence, they eventually fall for one another. Ted returns in an unexpected ending. Though I was a little reluctant to read another Texas novella, this one was a nice surprise!

84. Saving Grace by Kathleen Y’Barbo—Jedidiah Harte, aka Heartless Harte gives up his rangering ways when he comes to saving faith in Jesus. Unfortunately, his past follows him and he arrives at the home of his friends Grace and Bennett Delaney near death. What he doesn’t know is that his friend died two months ago, and that Widow Grace fears she may follow when she gives birth to her last child. Jedidiah survives, long enough to promise Grace he’ll take care of her children if she passes. She doesn’t, but he keeps his word to make sure she and her children have what they need. After orchestrating reconciliation between Grace and her father, he rides off to go back to rangering, or so he thinks. What he finds is a God who won’t let him go, and a scripture God impresses on his mind to show him what to do instead. For a novella, this had a pretty good plot line. Read carefully if squeamish, though, as injury recovery and medical drama and trauma make up much of it.

85. This is the Day: Reclaim Your Dream, Ignite Your Passion, Live Tour Purpose by Tim Tebow with A.J. Gregory, read by Fred Berman [Audiobook]—Self-help/feel-good/devotional/memoir? I am not really sure how to categorize this book. It’s somewhat about how Tim Tebow chased his dream to play professional baseball, but also includes stories from individuals served by the Tim Tebow foundation. It’s about taking chances, but also about prioritizing people. I would not call the book life-changing, but it was heart-warming and encouraging, without taking on airs of toxic positivity. In this season of my life, I will take it!

86. An Inconvenient Gamble by Michelle Ule—Charles Moss was once a gambler, but he quit betting four years ago after coming to faith. Jenny Duncan’s husband Tom was a gambler, and when she finds out that the man God sent to help her after her husband died of yellow fever struggled with the same temptation, she is livid. The problem is, that she needs Charles’ help, with the horse farm, her brothers, and the birth of her upcoming child. I honestly struggled to follow this story. Maybe there was just a little too much story and not enough exposition?

87. Angel in Disguise by Darlene Franklin—Rosie Carson is a redeemed thief. Owen Cooper is an injured (but recovering) Texas Ranger. (See a theme in these novellas?). The two meet at a church event and are somewhat taken with each other. The problem is that Rosie has not quite redeemed her ways, and Owen is tasked with finding the “Easter Angel.” I liked the element of mystery in this story, but struggled with the flight into righteousness/salvation from all of sin’s earthly consequences aspects of the story. In summary, I am torn on my review of this book.

88. 
Reuben’s Atonement by Lynette Sowell—Reuben Wilson left home early, and spent time thieving and otherwise breaking the law. Returning to Raider’s Crossing after a stint in jail and a come to Jesus moment, he is determined to make things right, and to make good on a promise he made to his dying mother. Charlotte Wilson, Reuben’s childhood friend, is determined not to let Reuben get into her heart…again. This is a sweet, slow-burn story, accentuated by Reuben’s understanding of Jesus’ atonement, and what that means for his life goals. I really enjoyed this one, both for the story, and for its theological truth!

89. The Peacemaker by DiAnn Mills—Finally, some continuity in these novellas! This one follows Colt Wilson (brother to Reuben) as he gets out of prison and takes care of the matter that plagued him. Finding Will Langley proves to be elusive, though, as the man has died. Somehow, Colt ends up as a ranch hand on the cattle and horse farm of Will’s widow, Anne, and there Colt falls not only for Anne and her daughters, but for Jesus as His Lord and Savior. Along the way, he has to wrestle with some cattle wrestlers and truly learn to trust God. This is truly a good book, one belied by its title, but good nonetheless.

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At 24 books, I exceeded my reading goal for the month. I am tired. I am not loving the novellas I am reading (though I do like the fact that I can read them in a day), so when I am done with this anthology, I think I will go back to a book of more substance. And as for audio books? They're great, but not all the time. I also have a lot of podcasts pinned for later listening. All that being said, expect a shorter reading list next month (but also hopefully less screen time, too).