A Forced Break

One thousand, two hundred and sixty-two days, and my run streak is over. (Well, it's been over for a while at the time of this publishing.) Running was always there for me, until it wasn't. I experienced a banner year last year in running, and felt like I had finally found "my thing." Now, I am no longer a runner. I probably pushed too hard. I knew that some things were not quite right, and I pushed on through anyways. And now here I lay.

That stress fracture I worried about pre- and post-Shiprock? Well, it turns out my differential diagnosis skills are pretty decent. That is exactly what I have: a break in my bones from too much: too much impact, too much intensity, too much pushing through the pain.

I have been through a barrage of tests, from the initial x-rays, to bloodwork, to MRIs, to bone density scans, and more. Though we cannot pinpoint a precise cause for my stress fracture, quite a few things are not quite right. I am getting treatment from a team of professionals, and now I have to wait to see how my body will respond.

My running goals are on hold for now, possibly permanently. Only time will tell if I get back to running at all. If I do, it probably will not be like it was before. I am older. I broke my body. I don't want to break it again.

If I am honest, I probably needed this break. I have a type A personality. Had I not broken my body, I would have kept pushing through. That's me. That's running. I have time, and hopefully now motivation, to attend to my health. This break in my bones is revealing just how tired I was, and forcing me to rest. Time off is helping me explore other ways to move my body (and also forcing me to make peace with a lot less activity). I hope I recover. I hope I come back stronger. Only God knows if that will happen. Whatever may come, may God use it for His glory and my good.