Think Dobbins Lookout is the best place in the Phoenix Metropolis to catch an Arizona sunset? Think again! Try the Salt River!
There are Black Canyon of the Gunnison level rocks and cliffs.
Plenty of places to sit and just be (Of course, we would find my husband out on a ledge.)
The little bit of weight gain I experienced while marathon training? Well, that was probably due to the training, as a small weight gain is related to higher metabolism, hydration, and training (1HUTTBOLE, 2026). Two to five pounds during a marathon training cycle reflects muscle mass, more glycogen, and more water stored with that glycogen (Gaudette, 2026). It turns out that my body needed more actual weight, though. It needed more weight to feel safe, to protect itself. I was fearing weight gain more than injury, and then the injury happened (Sekely, 2026). I never intended to set out on this journey to build a bigger body, but my stress fracture brought me to it, and I hope nutrition and weight gain will bring me through it.
It turns out that being heavier is actually better for my skeleton. "Being lighter doesn’t necessarily mean you’re putting 'less stress' on your skeleton especially if it means you’re falling into a state of low energy availability" says Registered Dietitian Serena Marie (2026). While I was not intentionally in a state of low energy availability, that was the only cause medical professionals could hypothesize as a cause of my injury. Additionally, my bone density was lower than "normal," and the only way to fix that was to gain weight in order to increase load on the bone (Haver, 2026). Then I had to grow bigger muscles to support that bone. And so I set out to do what the professionals told me: Eat in an energy surplus and then lift heavy.
It was not fun or easy to eat like a marathoner while not running. I guess I thought if I was in an energy deficit, my body would course correct as I ate more. Not so. It turns out that my body, just wanted to gain weight, and that weight gain happened quickly. I wrestled with it greatly. My clothes did not fit the same. I felt gross. I started to not recognize my body. Apparently this period of weight gain is something that happens to a lot of runners as they start to fuel correctly (Alm, 2026). I just started running a lot later in my life, and so the associated weight gain and body changes had to come later, when I already had a long history with a different body.
I will be honest that I initially fought the body changes, but I realized I could not continue living at war with myself every single day. So I had to change my goals. I had to change my goals to be to see how strong I could get, regardless of body size. I had to accept that I might need to buy all new clothes. I had to decide to live for my future self and not just my comfortable now self.
I have hopes that there are more running adventures (and maybe even more personal records?) on the other side of this. I have read stories where this is true (Amy Elizabeth, 2026, Infeld, 2024; Infeld, 2025; Quiet-Painting3, 2025; Run_Fast3r, 2023). But more than anything, I want to be healthy. I want to run longer. And I hope, to learn to accept myself in new ways. To quote Therapist Emily Brazier (2025), "So yeah, my body has changed. But so have I." I hope I get to the point that she did to say, "And I’m really proud of both."
So here's to the weight gain. Here's to the change. Lord help me!
References:
Alm, M. [Host]. (2026, June 19). Q&A with Maddie - 32. [Audio podcast episode]. In Fueling Forward. https://rss.com/podcasts/fuelingforwardpodcast/2925615/
Amy Elizabeth. [@TinkGoesToArizona]. 2:59 → 2:44 On Monday in Boston, I closed the chapter on every PR I set while underweight.I’m a completely [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DXfIacWgXvS/).
Brazier, E. (@_healingwithemily_). Let’s be honest, my body has changed… a lot. And I’d be lying if I said I don’t still have [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DX2ZyyUinlj/
Gaudette, J. (2026, April 29). Weight gain during marathon training: 3 causes explained. Runners Connect. https://runnersconnect.net/weight-gain-marathon-training/
Haver, M. C. (2026). The new perimenopause: An evidence-based guide to surviving the zone of chaos and feeling like yourself again. Rodale books.
Infeld, E. [@EmilyInfeld]. (2024, February 21). PSA to runners - skinnier is not faster! I get so sad when younger runners are worried about their weight and [Video]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3oH6lGApVb/
Infeld, E. [@EmilyInfeld]. (2025, November 17)). I didn’t get faster by getting smaller — I got faster by fueling. My running has never been defined by how [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DRLKoDKEoWa/
1HUTTBOLE. (2026). Does anyone else gain weight when running more? [Online forum post.]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/Ultramarathon/comments/1r6fcte/does_anyone_else_gain_weight_when_running_more/
Quiet-Painting3. (2025). I’ve found fueling to be the key for me. It allows me to train and recover better. I haven’t weighed [Comment on the online forum post Getting faster despite having a heavier scale weight.]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/XXRunning/comments/1kzrewv/getting_faster_despite_having_a_heavier_scale/
Run_Fast3r. (2023). Extra weight won’t slow you down unless you gain too much body fat. Gaining weight by lifting weights and eating [Comment on the online form post Gaining weight as a distance runner]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/trackandfield/comments/12vgq6e/gaining_weight_as_a_distance_runner/
Serena Marie. [@SerenaMarieRD]. (2026, May 1). Being lighter doesn’t necessarily mean you’re putting “less stress” on your skeleton esp if it means you’re falling into a [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DXzAUV6R_rV/)
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This Week's Eats:
Did I want to read more this month? Yes. Did I do it? No. So did I really want to read more this month? I don't know. What I do know is that I chose (or just did) other things with my time. I played more word games on my phone. I did a lot of Spanish lessons in DuoLingo. I caught up on podcasts, rather than listening to audiobooks. The books I did read, I read more slowly as I took more notes and spent time learning. I lived my life and fit reading in where it fit, rather than trying to wedge reading into every nook and cranny. It worked, and I need to give thanks for being able to read this much.
This month, I read (or finished reading, as in the first book) a lot of books that really hit home for my age and stage of life:
102. Surrendering Hunger by Jan Johnson—I started this devotional in March, as I sought to pass less judgement on what seemed to me to be extreme hunger. The devotional is based on the author’s struggle with both over and under eating. While I do not necessarily agree with her 12 step-type approach to managing eating issues, there was a lot here about eating in moderation, surrendering control, asking for help, finding identity in Christ, etc. In a culture obsessed with looks (especially for females), this was a helpful read, and came at a time in which I really benefited from it.
103. The Irish Matchmaker by Jennifer Deibel—Once again, this is a wonderfully crafted story by new-to-me author Jennifer Deibel. Donal Bonratty is unsuccessfully trying to hold everything together as a farm owner and single father who recently lost his wife. His daughter, little Sara, is beyond wise for her years and constantly encourages him to have faith. Catriona Daly, meanwhile, is a local matchmaker trying to control not only the fate of those who seek out her services, but also her own destiny. This is a beautiful story of friendship, faith, sacrificial love, and community support. With both highs and lows, as well as laughable quips from little Sara, this is certainly a book worth reading!
104. The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Like Yourself Again by Mary Claire Haver, MD—At face value, this book is a strong argument for menopause hormone treatment, even for women in perimenopause, or the time before menopause. In reading the book from to back, though, I actually learned a lot about this season of life and aging. While it might be a “zone of chaos,” hormonally, it is also a window of opportunity to improve health and reinstate healthy practices. As I seek to rebuild after injury, this is a good mentality for me to have. While I might not go on hormone therapy, or follow Haver’s Galveston Diet, I can do things like focus on eating good, whole foods; lifting heavy to build bone density; and advocating for personalized care (something sorely lacking in this season of life, and for women particularly). While I am not sure I would recommend this book to everyone, it was helpful for me where I am at, so I am glad I read it.
105. Home to You by Cheryl Woolverton—Pastor Dakota “Cody” Ryder finds a strange woman on his doorstep, stirring up the town gossip mill (as well as bringing his mother back to town). He is not about to turn the woman away, though. And then he learns that this is not just any woman; this is his childhood friend Meghan O’Halleran. She has returned because she literally has nowhere else to go. This story has a few too many subplots, which made it a little hard to follow, but it was still a good read. I wouldn’t list it at the top of my book list, but for a lay-around-at home-and-read-a-story-with some meaning-novel, it is decent.
106. Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman hosts of the podcast Call Your Girlfriend—I put this book on hold from the library after reading about it in the April 5 episode of The Skimm. Though I had never listened to the Call Your Girlfriend podcast, something about the book appealed to me. Part human interest story, with bite-sized bits of research woven in, this is story of how Aminatou, a black woman, and Ann, a white woman, became fast friends, and maintained their friendship over a span of years. This book covers The Shine Theory they use to support each other (and other friends), the need to work through conflict as friends, and how they maintain commitment to their friendship through years and distance. Written in third person, I found this a compelling read that shone light on and normalized some of my current friend struggles in midlife. Though not for everyone, this book was good for me right here, right now.
107. The Maid of Ballymacool by Jennifer Deibel—This is the last Jennifer Deibel book at our library, and a powerful one at that! Part Irish history, part modern-day Cinderella story, this is the Maid Brianna Kelly, headmistress Maureen Magee, and Michael Wray, a local gentryman who starts to uncover the unseemly things happening within Ballymacool House and Boarding School. This novel pretty much has it all: mystery, heartbreak, intrigue, love, and great messages about significance and identity. Jennifer Deibel is a truly gifted author, and I will be looking for her next book!
108. Dancing with Max: A Mother and Son Who Broke Free by Emily Colson [Audiobook]—This was a sweet book! With a forward and afterward by Chuck Colson of Breakpoint, this is not just the story of a single mom and her autistic son. It is the story of the community that surrounded them and upheld them. It is a story of the gifts Max's autism give to his family and friends. I recommend this book not only for families of children with special needs, but for everyone. Everyone can all benefit more from increasing understanding, not of disabilities per se, but through through freeing themselves from the view that diagnoses are detriments, and instead, that they provide openings into understanding God and people better. The audio recording of Max singing, "I Can Do All Things" at the end is especially sweet, so I recommend listening versus reading if you can!
109. This Must Be The Place: Following the Breadcrumbs of Your Past to Discover Your Purpose Today by Jamie Nato—I can’t tell you how I got to this book, but I can tell you that this was a good time for me to read it. Using her own story, the author writes both a memoir and a self-help guide to finding (or rather re-finding) one’s passions and purposes. She writes each chapter as a treasure hunt for talents and abilities God has given and how they are lived out. She shows how God has used each stage of her life to point her to the treasure that she has in Him, and is in Him. This is a worthwhile read, and an easy, enjoyable, and witty one at that!
110. Meet Me in the Margins by Melissa Ferguson—I put this book on hold after reading two of Ferguson’s other books, How to Plot a Payback, and The Most Perfect Rom-Com. I have to say, my verdict was out until the last six chapters or so. The book was just so ridiculous at points. (It is a rom-com, so what did I expect?) The book didn’t seem to have much substance. (As reviewer Iola Goulton writes, Ferguson’s books are Christian romance, but not with an “emphasis on the Christian.”) But then, suddenly, the story has so much worthiness and sweet meaning (though without overt mention of faith)! Flustered assistant acquisitions editor Savannah Cade realizes that she loves writing, whether or not she publishes the romance on which she’s been working for years. She realizes who she truly loves. She reconciles with her sister. The uptight new VP at the publishing house, William Pennington, becomes human. He takes risks that pay off. The slow-burn romance turns into something worth a story. (The final details of the story and its resolution maker wonder if Ferguson wrote some parts of her own life into the story.) After all my margin notes on what I didn’t like, I’m sold on this book and want to read more from this author!
111) Chase the Fun: 100 Days to Discover Fun Right Where You Are by Annie F. Downs —I didn’t read this book over 100 days. I read it in a few days. In it, Downs writes in her signature, down-to-earth, and very practical style about considering fun as a spiritual discipline. (She maybe doesn’t say that directly, but I think that is what the book argues.) She shares about how being amateur at things provides ways to practice giving and receiving grace. She writes about how hobbies can connect people to God and others, and how the feeling of joy leads to the action of fun, with both joy and fun pointing to eternity. This was a fun read, pun intended!
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Who's read any of these? What books have been just what you needed in this season of your life?Please share in the comments!
Well, I'm junking up the house again. (The decluttering book warned me of this trap.) I've bought two new clothing items (without swapping out old ones), as well as bought gadgets to make my life easier (silicone muffin liners). I could argue that my dietitian told me to buy clothes in bigger sizes. I could argue that I "need" new clothes to feel better, but I really don't. I just bought clothes because I wanted to feel better (and they did-kind of). I could argue that new kitchen gadgets brought me joy and made cooking a little easier, and they did, but could I tolerate without them? Yes. So should I have bought them? I don't know. I just did. I told myself to spend less money this month. Did I? No. But I also got some joy from buying things, and made some memories. Did I live more of life? Overall, I would say, yes. And that was what I wanted from this year anyway.
In other updates on my goals--
January-LESS scrolling: I don't know if I am or not. Some days, I am on social media less, other days more. I have started using at least Instagram more for information (eg for information on topics like stress fracture recovery). I notice when I am not getting anything out of scrolling, and sometimes I keep scrolling. Other times, I move on. I am playing more word games again. It is a good "out" for my brain, and maybe a little more beneficial than doom scrolling?
February-LESS picking: I do not really know here, either. Maybe I just have not been paying attention as much? I do know that I am going through a season of just feeling uncomfortable in my body overall.
March-LESS hunger (judgment): I want to keep healing from my stress fracture, and I want to gain muscle. I hate waking up in the middle of the night hungry. So I have been eating a lot, and and continuing to gain weight. I hope eventually things even out, but I don't know when that will happen, and if I am truly hungry, I guess my body needs all this food? I hope I continue to gain awareness in this area.
April-LESS goals: Yeah, well. I probably did not do too well here. In working on my July goal, I added quite a lot of activities. The physical therapy exercises have piled up. I need to reduce my list of daily things to do next month.
May-LESS no: I caught myself saying, "No," a lot, but thankfully God gave me plenty of chances to rest and say, "Yes." I am thankful for that. I want to live a full life, and that means saying more, "Yes" (though I am learning to do so with boundaries). Yesses this month included attending several very last minute social gatherings, trying several different foods my husband offered me, and going on a surprise location trip that my husband planned--good things, all.
June-LESS lying to myself: This is a bit of a mixed bag. I need to have realistic expectations for myself, and as my mom pointed out, I need to be willing to change and learn and grow as the Holy Spirit prompts. I have realized that most things in life require sacrifice. If I do something for myself, I say, "No" to doing something for others. If I prioritize one thing, I have less time for others. (For example, when I choose to write at night after work, I generally end up going to bed later and getting less sleep.) I am realizing that sometimes, I need to compromise on my priorities, doing a little bit of what I said I would do, and letting a little bit go. That is probably better than the all or nothing trap in which I find myself too often.
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Overall, it has been a better month. Maybe I am not quite living by my "LESS" word, but less is not my end goal in life. Loving God, loving others, and loving myself are my goals. Whatever paths lead me to those goals are my path, less or not.
