LESS Fear

Whew. It has been a long last few months. My injury accelerated the downward spiral, but let's be honest, the downward slide started long before that. Thankfully, here at the end of this month, it seems like things have started to turn a corner.

While I don't remember exactly how I got to my word for this month, I do know that I needed it. I have been living in so much fear: fear of pain, fear of re-injury, fear of my body changing during my healing, fear of never being able to run again, fear of never feeling happy, fear of the future, fear of the next shoe dropping, etc. It was not doing me any good. 

The Bible has a lot to say about fear. Specifically, it says not to fear men, or people, or things, but to fear God. During this month, I chose to meditate five minutes each day on one verse about fear. I am sure that I only scratched the surface of what the Bible has to teach about fear, but here are a few things I learned:

• I don't need to fear. If God is for me, who can be against me? (Isaiah 41:10; Romans 8:31)
• God is the only one I should fear, because he has power over life, sin, and death (Deuteronomy 10:12; Psalm 112:1, 7; Ecclesiastes 3:14; Isaiah 35:4; 1 Corinthians 15:55-56; Hebrews 2:14-15)
• My fear of God should bring Him praise (Proverbs 31:30).
• God redeems. Therefore I should not fear the past. While I may have consequences for sins and misdeeds, God is with me. He is my strength (Isaiah 55:4; Phil 4:13). 
• My fear of God should cause me to obey Him and walk in His ways (Deuteronomy 6:2, 13, 24; Deuteronomy 8:6, Deuteronomy 10:20; Deuteronomy 13:4; Lamentations 3:57)
• I am not a slave to fear or sin. I am a daughter of God! (Romans 8:15)
• Nothing separates me from God’s love. Separation from God would be something to fear! Why fear tomorrow when I know that because of saving faith in Jesus, I’ll be with Him forever? (Romans 8:38)

While it was probably not something I needed to do, I also made a "Fear Not!" board on Pinterest to collect quotes. I journaled one a day. Initially, I thought I would write creatively and make this a calligraphy project. More days than not, I ended up squeezing in my journaling at the end of the evening, copying what I saw in the Pinterest pin more than anything else. While not as helpful as the Bible verse meditation, this was a fun quest and did help my mindset.

After a very rough week and a tough day on Thursday, July 17th, with the approval of my PT and a commitment to face fear, I ran again for the first time. It was scary, but I didn't want to live in fear of what would happen. Thankfully, I ran with very little to no pain. Sure, I only ran 30 seconds for four intervals, but it was something! I still have a long ways to go in my recovery, but Lord willing, with God's help, I will keep going, looking forward to seeing what God will do, living more and more in fear of him alone.

The More of Less Report (July)

Well, I'm junking up the house again. (The decluttering book warned me of this trap.) I've bought two new clothing items (without swapping out old ones), as well as bought gadgets to make my life easier (silicone muffin liners). I could argue that my dietitian told me to buy clothes in bigger sizes. I could argue that I "need" new clothes to feel better, but I really don't. I just bought clothes because I wanted to feel better (and they did-kind of). I could argue that new kitchen gadgets brought me joy and made cooking a little easier, and they did, but could I tolerate without them? Yes. So should I have bought them? I don't know. I just did. I told myself to spend less money this month. Did I? No. But I also got some joy from buying things, and made some memories. Did I live more of life? Overall, I would say, yes. And that was what I wanted from this year anyway.

In other updates on my goals--

January-LESS scrolling: I don't know if I am or not. Some days, I am on social media less, other days more. I have started using at least Instagram more for information (eg for information on topics like stress fracture recovery). I notice when I am not getting anything out of scrolling, and sometimes I keep scrolling. Other times, I move on. I am playing more word games again. It is a good "out" for my brain, and maybe a little more beneficial than doom scrolling?

February-LESS picking: I do not really know here, either. Maybe I just have not been paying attention as much? I do know that I am going through a season of just feeling uncomfortable in my body overall.

March-LESS hunger (judgment): I want to keep healing from my stress fracture, and I want to gain muscle. I hate waking up in the middle of the night hungry. So I have been eating a lot, and and continuing to gain weight. I hope eventually things even out, but I don't know when that will happen, and if I am truly hungry, I guess my body needs all this food? I hope I continue to gain awareness in this area.

April-LESS goals: Yeah, well. I probably did not do too well here. In working on my July goal, I added quite a lot of activities. The physical therapy exercises have piled up. I need to reduce my list of daily things to do next month.

May-LESS no: I caught myself saying, "No," a lot, but thankfully God gave me plenty of chances to rest and say, "Yes." I am thankful for that. I want to live a full life, and that means saying more, "Yes" (though I am learning to do so with boundaries). Yesses this month included attending several very last minute social gatherings, trying several different foods my husband offered me, and going on a surprise location trip that my husband planned--good things, all.

June-LESS lying to myself: This is a bit of a mixed bag. I need to have realistic expectations for myself, and as my mom pointed out, I need to be willing to change and learn and grow as the Holy Spirit prompts. I have realized that most things in life require sacrifice. If I do something for myself, I say, "No" to doing something for others. If I prioritize one thing, I have less time for others. (For example, when I choose to write at night after work, I generally end up going to bed later and getting less sleep.) I am realizing that sometimes, I need to compromise on my priorities, doing a little bit of what I said I would do, and letting a little bit go. That is probably better than the all or nothing trap in which I find myself too often.

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Overall, it has been a better month. Maybe I am not quite living by my "LESS" word, but less is not my end goal in life. Loving God, loving others, and loving myself are my goals. Whatever paths lead me to those goals are my path, less or not.

A Lot of Thoughts About GLP-1s

I’m sitting in the lobby of the orthopedic doctor trying to mind my own business, but unable to help overhearing the conversation between what appear to be a middle-aged dad and his wife. Two young boys sit between them. Neither the man nor the woman appear to be of size, though the woman might possess a little more padding than the man. What are they talking about? From the words I catch, GLP-1s, how they help people lose weight, and how with “coaching,” ensure that people keep the weight off and stay "healthy." And here I sit, leaning toward the right side, trying to balance on my right butt cheek, so as to avoid pressure on my pelvis, where I have what x-rays shows as a fracture, what I believe to be a bone-stress injury due to overtraining and suboptimal fueling. I expect to be pretty grounded soon, doing a lot less exercise, and needing to eat a whole lot more so that my body will heal, so needless to say, this conversation does not sit well with me. Furthermore, I wonder what this conversation is doing to the two young boys sitting between this man and woman. They appear slight and thin, as many children are when they are active and still growing. One of the boys wears a yellow bracelet around his wrist. I assume it to be a hospital bracelet, and that the adults are here because of him, but who am I to know? What I do know is that the adults are not focused on the kids. They are focused on this conversation about weight loss, one I’d rather not be hearing, and one that, even though I don't know them, I’d rather these young boys not be hearing, either.

As I look around me on the world, I see lots of people with what appears to be “Ozempic face,” that tight, drawn look, that accompanies rapid weight loss (Cleveland Health Clinic, n.d.). I see people receiving attention and praise for their weight loss, and I wonder, “Are they really happy? Are they safe? Is this sustainable for them?" It's like these drugs are a status symbol. The wealthy, the really disciplined, the "good" people take these drugs, and the rest of people, well, they are somehow not good enough, sub-optimal.

I recognize that GLP-1 drugs have a purpose. I have family, and, I assume, friends, that I know benefit from them. In a world focused on external looks and obsessed with thinness, however, I don’t appreciate the spotlight or health halo that culture is giving these drugs (Pugh, 2024). It is making them less available to those people who really need them to treat their conditions, and leading to conversations like the one I overheard at the orthopedic office becoming commonplace.

What will become of our world as more and more people take GLP-1s? Will everyone feel the pressure to be skinny? Will sunken faces just become the norm? What about our children? What about people for whom these drugs don't work, leaving them swimming in an even greater sea of shame related to their body and health conditions? What about people like me, who need to fuel a lot in order to heal injuries, do sports, or just stay healthy? What will happen if these drugs somehow become unavailable? What if these drugs have horrific long term side effects about which we do not yet know?

Please hear me when I say I am not trying to be critical of people taking these drugs for legitimate medical reasons. I guess I just want to call into question the ubiquity of them, and ask people to do some critical thinking before hopping right on train to the injectable weight loss drug station. Weight loss is not for everyone. These drugs are not for everyone. Maybe let's keep discussions about prescription medication inside the doctor's examination rooms, and out of the waiting areas and other mainstream arenas of life. There is so much more to life than weight and body shape, and well, some of us are trying to push thoughts of weight out of our thoughts to focus on well, life, and the many things that living in a body means, regardless of the way that body appears, or weighs out on the scale.

References:

Cleveland Health Clinic. (n.d.). https://health.clevelandclinic.org/ozempic-face. 'Ozempic face': What it is and how to avoid it

Pugh, T. (2024, January 22). Everyone around me is losing weight. Terri Pugh. https://terripugh.com/Everyone-around-me-is-losing-weight/

Everything I Did to Heal My Stress Fracture

I hope I never, ever get a stress fracture again! I have been trying to document this journey, however, so I made a list of things I did/have been/am doing in my healing process. I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or physical therapist. This is just my protocol based on my own research, as well as the recommendations of the experts I saw:

1. I drank coffee with RNWY collagen in every day for a least a month. I started this because I thought I had a tendon injury, but when I found out it was a stress fracture, I continued, as there is some limited evidence that collagen might help with bone healing (Karaytug, 2021; Sun et al., 2025). It might also help with bone density, something I want to build in order to avoid future such injuries (Ask the Doctors, 2025; Konig et al, 2018). While I knew that rest might help my healing most, I also wanted to help my body along where I could. As an ongoing practice, I still drink coffee with collagen two to three times a week.

2. I stopped running. Yes, I probably should have done this first, and yes, I ran on my stress fracture. (I don't recommend this.) At first, I ran ignorantly, but after diagnosis, yes, I ran five more days (a mile a day). I didn't want to abandon my run streak. I was taking the orthopedic PA's advice to "do what pain allowed" and using it to my advantage. I wanted to convince myself that I could run through healing. I was in denial. But then I talked to my nurse mom, who advised doing no impact activities only. The next morning, the pastor preached about selfishness at church, and I realized it was time. I was still hurting. To submit to God and my husband, I needed to stop running. No other gods before God. No purposeful selfish decisions that would harm others. (I also knew I would not be running that weekend when we went to California for my brother's wedding, unless I tried to sneak around under the cover of darkness, and that was not my plan.)

3. I ate, a lot, especially sugar and simple carbs. After the finding out about my injury, I was very hungry. (I was just coming off a half-marathon, and I think the initial pain probably blunted my appetite.) I also felt very stressed, so my cortisol may have been triggering stress eating. Increased sweets cravings, especially for chocolate, was documented in at least once research study of individuals with fractures (Nicoll, 2019). Since I heard that bone healing is energy expensive, I indulged myself (Brown, 2019). This did lead to weight gain, but I figured I could either be mad that I could not run because I slowed my healing by restricting calories, or feel different in my body and hopefully run again. I chose the latter.

4. I reduced my salt intake, and I stopped putting salt in my hot chocolate. With exercising so much less, I didn't need quite as much sodium. I also heard that salt might leech calcium out of the body (Tiyasatkulkovit, 2021). I wanted to keep as much calcium as possible around in order to rebuild my bone!

5. I started taking calcium chews, and then added a vitamin D supplement. Was I low in either nutrient? Not technically, but I don't eat a lot of dairy, and my vitamin D was below the 40 plus recommended for runners (Momaya, 2025). My dietitian said one 1,000 mcg supplement could not hurt me, so I took it (and I am still taking it).

6. I ate a bowl of fortified cereal with whole milk almost every night for the first twelve weeks of my recovery. And on that note, I switched most of my dairy products from low fat to skim, as fat boosts vitamin D absorption (Dawson-Hughes, 2015). Extra fat could also contribute to the energy surplus my dietitian recommend. While I am not eating cereal every night anymore, I am still trying to eat lots of dairy, as much as possible of the full-fat variety.

7. I started seeing a dietitian to help evaluate me for any nutrient gaps. Yes, I like to research, but she has a degree in this stuff. It is good to consult experts.

8. I hired a physical therapist (PT) with a speciality in bone health in runners, specifically stress fractures. There are actually two PTs in my area with this expertise, but I went with the one I could afford, and that was closer to me. She did not take insurance, so this is expensive, but is by far the most worthwhile resource on this list!

9. I waited to run. I about broke (down) several times, but I figured if I had hired experts to help me, I needed to stick with the plan. This was really difficult, especially when I felt really terrible in my body. With a lot of support from my husband and the Lord's strength, however, I made it. Now, I am trying to hold myself back and only run what the PT prescribes, so as to keep my stress fracture healed and not break anything else.

10. I started lifting heavier than ever. My PT suggested this to help build my bone density. I even started using barbells. Apparently this is good for my longterm health and longevity, so it is something I plan to continue doing.

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There are probably some other things I could add to this list, but these are the main ones. Which contributed most to my healing? I don't know. Probably all of it. If I could make one recommendation, however, it would be to train smart and fix nutrient gaps before a stress fracture results. That is a whole lot better than needing advice about how to heal a broken bone!

References:

Ask the Doctors. (2025, July 30).  Study indicates collagen peptides can increase bone density.

UCLA health. https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/study-indicates-collagen-peptides-can-increase-bone-density

Brown, S. E. (2019, December 9). How to speed fracture healing. Better bones. https://betterbones.com/fractures-and-healing/speed-up-fracture-healing/

Dawson-Hughes, B., Harris, S. S., Lichtenstein, A. H., Dolnikowski, G., Palermo, N. J., & Rasmussen, H. (2015). Dietary fat increases vitamin D-3 absorption. Journal of the academy of nutrition and dietetics, 115(2), 225–230. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jand.2014.09.014

Karaytug, K., Arzu, U., Ergin, O. N., Bilgili, F., Unverengil, G., Bayram, S., & Sen, C. (2021). Effects of Collagen- and Arginine-Fortified Osteokine Supplementation on Fracture Healing. Cureus, 13(10), e19072. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.19072

König, D., Oesser, S., Scharla, S., Zdzieblik, D., & Gollhofer, A. (2018). Specific Collagen Peptides Improve Bone Mineral Density and Bone Markers in Postmenopausal Women-A Randomized Controlled Study. Nutrients, 10(1), 97. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu10010097

Momaya, A. (2025, August 18). Should I take vitamin D as an athelete. Momaya sports medicine. https://www.momayamd.com/blog/should-i-take-vitamin-d-as-an-athlete/?bp=47902 

Nicoll R. (2019). Sickness behavior may follow fracture as well as infection. Brain, behavior, & immunity - health, 1, 100002. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbih.2019.100002

RNWY. (n.d.). RNWY foundation. https://rnwy.life/products/foundation?srsltid=AfmBOoqU6wWmXDD7Gyzy-F1kRCyx8OdoJoBe896SQxm77xyjbYPI6pKM

Sun, C., Yang, A., Teng, F., & Xia, Y. (2025). Efficacy of collagen peptide supplementation on bone and muscle health: a meta-analysis. Frontiers in nutrition, 12, 1646090. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnut.2025.1646090

Tiyasatkulkovit, W., Aksornthong, S., Adulyaritthikul, P., Upanan, P., Wongdee, K., Aeimlapa, R., Teerapornpuntakit, J., Rojviriya, C., Panupinthu, N., & Charoenphandhu, N. (2021). Excessive salt consumption causes systemic calcium mishandling and worsens microarchitecture and strength of long bones in rats. Scientific reports, 11(1), 1850. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-81413-2

Christmas in July Adventure

One of the local breweries had signs up for "Christmas in July" complete with alcoholic Christmas drinks and Hawaiian Christmas characters. I'll raise them one better: Dessert for dinner and watching a Christmas movie in PJs-at home!

I actually planned out Christmas in July adventure long before I saw that sign downtown. I'd had the limited edition pumpkin pie cup of noodles around since Christmas and did not want them to go bad. 

And I had the idea of making an illusion of dessert for dinner. That took a little bit to figure out, but I eventually settled on making an illusion of this spaghetti with green beans from The Pasta Project. I used the pumpkin noodles for the noodles, spinach pancakes (Rooted at Heart) cut into strips for the green beans, and cinnamon disc candies for the tomatoes. As a side, I added "cheese" of easy cottage cheese cheesecake (The Protein Chef) baked in silicone muffin liners and then removed.

For our movie, I chose The Christmas Mixer. 

This was in part because dessert was soft sourdough discard Christmas cookies (Muscle Momma Sourdough) made with sprinkles left over from our Christmas gingerbread house.

The movie was pretty cheesy, with some faux pas like mispronunciation of the word llama, as well as fumbles like, "leaving in the lurches." Still, we enjoyed it, as it gave us some Christmas cheer, as well as some viewing of cooler weather.

And what's Christmas without a little gift? 

My husband really likes this coco-nut trail mix from Target.

I added some mushroom chai, as he mentioned wanted to trying it after hearing about mushroom coffee from family and friends.

We didn't need to go out to celebrate. We had a Christmas adventure of our own all at home. Bonus, all we had afterward, maybe, was a little bit of a sugar crash!

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 29)

This Week's Eats:

Easy cottage cheese cheesecake (The Protein Chef)

Historical casserole (365 Days of Slow Cooking)

Meatball pizza (Taste of Home)

One pot chicken and cabbage (Hungry Happens)

Protein overnight oats (The Real Food Dietitians)

Soft sourdough discard Christmas cookies (Muscle Momma Sourdough)

Sourdough discard pizza dough (The Pantry Mama)

Spinach pancakes (Rooted at Heart)

Noteworthy Repeats:

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Cottage cheese egg bake (The Real Food Dietitians)

Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)

Sourdough gravy (The Pantry Mama)

Freezer Pull-Outs:

Homemade ketchup without sugar (A Sweet Pea Chef)

Homemade pizza sauce (Budget Bytes)

Sourdough blueberry muffins (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough bread

Sourdough chocolate zucchini muffins (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough discard banana bread (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough meatballs (The Pantry Mama)

Half-Day Mogollon Rim Adventure

Some time ago, my husband told me that he wanted to plan a day trip for us. It would include hiking and we would need a picnic lunch. He asked me if I wanted to know details about location, and I said I didn't. I just needed to know enough specifics to plan, and plan I did.

I have been going through some body changes and not liking how my clothes fit, so I decided to buy something new to wear. Did I need to? No. Did I buy something I did not yet have in my closet? Yes. I bought a tennis dress, convenient because it has shorts built in, inconvenient because it is one piece, and required wearing a jacket to ward off the chill. Still, in the end, it helped me get excited and feel more confident as we got ready for our adventure.

The Sourdough

I also planned our menu for the trip. My theme for trip food was sourdough, and I prepped our meals the day before. For breakfast, we had sourdough discard egg muffins and sourdough chocolate zucchini muffins. For our picnic lunch (that we ended up eating at home), we had snack boxes of carrots, cheese, sourdough meatballs, and homemade ranch dip, with protein boost sourdough chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I have to say, everything hit the spot. Adventure has a way of increasing the appetite!

The Travel

We left our house for our adventure a little after 6 AM Saturday morning. (We planned to leave at 6:00 AM sharp, but as usual, I ran late, and then packing the cooler took extra long.) The drive was foggy and rainy. The rain lifted some by the time we got to Payson, Arizona, and we decided to look for some coffee. (My parents sent us money for a coffee date for our anniversary, and we had not used it yet.) We found Smashley's Coffee at the edge of town, and stopped in. The shop was small, but the coffee was fresh. (My husband got a carrot cake latte and I got a light pour over coffee.) While we waited, we browsed the various olive oils and other food stuffs in the shop. Somehow, we managed not to buy anything.

The Adventure

Then it was off the Mogollon Rim, located just past Heber. I didn't know we were going there yet, but my husband has been there many times and knew just where to turn. We passed the main trailhead and pulled off at one of the first overlooks. From there, we walked on a gravel path and through some wet grass to join the paved Rim Lake Vista Trail. My husband hoped for views. I didn't know what we were missing and just soaked up the loveliness of the pine tree forest and peaceful, misty, air.

The Rim Lake Vista Trail stops off at several overlooks. Of course, my husband had to go to the edge. Something about heights makes me woozy, so I stayed pretty far back.

We took the Rim Lake Vista Trail to the Meadow Trail, and that to Woods Canyon Lake. I was thrilled to get to the lake, as I had not known where we were going, and I thought views plus forest, plus lake made for an awesome trip!

It started to sprinkle at the lake, and we had already walked over three miles, so we headed back. The fog cleared a little, but not too much. That gave me a taste of views that might be had, as well as time for lots of conversation. Some of the things I enjoyed most about dating my husband were the long conversations we had about life, and society, and dreams and faith. This time, we spent almost our entire walk dreaming about what could be in our future. Maybe it is possible. Maybe not. Still, it was fun to toss ideas back and forth.

We did need to clear the path for a stretcher to pass as we walked back. We had seen a police car barrel up the road on our way out to the lake, and saw the sheriff with a lady who was lying down. We tried to give everyone a wide berth and mind our own business. On the way back, though, EMTs were wheeling the lady out, and her family told us what happened. We took a minute to stop and pray with them, and then travelled back to our car.

From where we parked, my husband drove me out to the forest road where he and his friends camp. It was gravel, and a little rough for our car. He offered to park and let us walk out the rest of the way to the camp site, but given that I had just hiked 6.3 miles, farther than I have in ages, I decided I probably shouldn't. So, it was back in the car and homeward bound.

The skies cleared as we drove home, allowing for beautiful views. I love Arizona for many reasons: the mountains, the saguaro, the trails. My, how blessed we are, and how blessed we were to take this trip. Life is not about comparisons, but perspective does help. Taking our first active trip since my injury and then seeing someone get terribly injured gave me that, and made me extra, extra grateful. Thank you God and husband for this adventure!