Saturday, July 4, 2026

Ten.


Two years ago, I felt pretty sure we would be in another place by now. I was morning and pre-grieving, trying to soak up everything as potentially "the last." God had other plans, though, and here we still are.

I have truly come to love and enjoy this place we call home. Sure, it has its downsides. Commuting through city traffic is far from my favorite. Our best Christian friends live about an hour across the valley, meaning we see them infrequently. My husband hates the heat of the Arizona valley summers. There is the dirt, and smog and trash, and a few unsafe areas. But there is also the good: walkable (and runnable, when I can run) and lit sidewalks and canal paths, more parks than we can visit in a year (just in our city alone), ample hiking trails, cacti galore, and gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.

My husband and I bought our first home here. We both progressed in our careers. We dined at a lot of great restaurants. We enjoyed a lot of fun events. We made traditions. We made friends.

Will this always be our home? Well, no. Our home is in heaven, and whether Arizona remains our earthly home for the remainder of our days or not remains to be seen. For a temporary, home, though, a decade in one state is a lot, and I feel grateful and give thanks for it.

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 26)


This Week's Eats:

Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Afghan 93


This was another afghan that I started and stopped. I started it to use up yarn, and having made several "boy" afghans, thought I should throw in pink yarn. That pink yarn held me up, as I got the wrong color of pink, which led me to start afghan 93. In the process of starting and stopping the project, I forgot how I was doing the edging, and it got a bit wonky. By the time I finished the blanket, I needed more boy afghans again. Sigh. Oh well. At least there's always crocheting to do, and thanks to my wonderful neurologist finding a treatment for my dystonia, I can still do it!

Hook: Ergonomic crochet hook size J

Yarn: Red Heart spring greenRed Heart soft navy  Mainstays white, Red Heart baby pink

Pattern: The cobblestone blanket (Stitchberry)

Finished size: 32 x 43

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Everything I Read (And Listened To) in June

My goal this month was to get to 100 books. That would require reading 10 books this month. Did I do it? Just barely (And then I squeezed in the completion of one more audiobook). Although my book list this month is a lot shorter than last month's, I enjoyed the reading and even found a new favorite author in the process!

90. Outlaw Sheriff by Kathleen Y’Barbo—Caleb Wilson hopes and prays he is going to get a new start when he settles in Dime Box, Arizona. Soon, enough though, Mayor Ed Thompson is hauling him over to the jail and he wonders what the charge is this time. Meanwhile, Lydia Bertrand comes west as an unwilling mail-order bride. Caleb is surprised when, instead of imprisoning him, the mayor makes him sheriff, and Lydia’s servant says that Lydia is his mail-order bride. Caleb quickly realizes he’s not the man everyone thinks he is, and he decides to come clean. What comes next is surprising and sweet. I flew through this book like a whirlwind, and thoroughly enjoyed it!

91. A Gamble on Love by Tamela Hancock Murray—The Wilson brother saga ends as youngest brother Benjamin decides to leave the saloon where his brothers left him,and he grew up to become a cheating card dealer. He wouldn’t have left except that Pearl, his co-card shark and the woman he loves, is going home to care for her ailing mother. Benjamin plans to continue his card-dealing ways, but because of Pearl, becomes instead an honest, working man instead. He also meets Jesus, which changes everything for him. This story contains some sweet references to biblical stories like the woman with the alabaster jar of perfume, the healing of Peter’s mother-in-law, and more. Hancock really did a great job of summing up the series here. I wish this Texas brides novella collection was just the Wilson brother stories, because they really were the best ones!

92. The Big Miss: My Years Coaching Tiger Woods by Hank Haney—I hoped this book would help me to have more understanding and empathy for Tiger Woods. It did, and it didn’t. Honestly, a lot of it made me like Woods less. According to the accounting of Hank Haney, Wood’s coach of six years, Woods was notoriously self-centered. Woods did not share much with anyone. He pulled “pranks” like putting on adult TV when he shared a room with devout Christian Zach Johnson. He tipped poorly. It was hard to coach him. Haney says Woods’ self-centeredness helped him win, but winning isn’t forever. Woods went through a string of injuries, and then scandals, and missed a lot in some major tournaments. Then Haney resigned as his coach. As Haney writes in the end, Woods’ psychological issues and character are Woods’ biggest misses. At publishing in 2012, Haney believed Woods might overcome his missed and bounce back to big successes, but 14 years later, I am not so sure. I finished the book sad for Tiger Woods, for the game that overcame him, and for the life that seems to have left him.

93. My Mess is a Bit of a Life: Adventures in Anxiety by Georgia Pritchett [Audiobook]—This book appealed to me because of its title, the content, not so much. In this short collection of essays and stories, screenwriter Georgia Pritchett chronicles her struggles with anxiety, starting as a young child, moving through young adulthood, and then into motherhood. Pritchett writes with a cynical, dark, dry, sardonic tone, and rarely a speck of good news. She uses the F word often (as is more common in the United Kingdom), has values that conflict with mine, and there are depictions of sexual abuse that could be triggering for some. While I empathize with having a mess of a life, and I really do hope that writing this book helped Pritchett get on with her life, I unfortunately, cannot recommend reading (or listening).

94. Sick Girl by Amy Silverstein—I started reading this book, eager to understand more about heart transplant. Then the dark parts started, and just kept coming. Silverstein became the “sick girl” when she encountered cardiac myopathy that led to ventral fibrillation, and then flatlining at age 24. At age 25, she got her first heart transplant. (She states that she had two transplants, but only writes about one in this book.) It might seem like that was the start of health, but it really wasn't. It was the start of a new life of being sick due to immunosuppressant drugs, medicines that patients need, but that doctors really do not know how to dose. This book exposes so many hard parts of being sick, plus the inadequacies of the medical system. There might be a lot that can't be fixed, but what can be addressed is the need for empathy and presence. Sick or not, everybody needs somebody.

95. My Glory Was I Had Such Friends: A Memoir by Amy Silverstein [Audiobook]—I really liked this book. It was explicit, and sad, but also beautiful. A counter to Silverstein's first book, Sick Girl, this memoir chronicles how Silverstein’s friends came through in offering her the kinds of support she craved in her first book. Relocated to California due to the need for a second heart transplant, Silverstein quickly found herself hospitalized due to the rapid decline in her health. Literally, through the worst of times, her friends were there for her: hanging pictures, keeping nurses away so Silverstein could sleep, holding vomit bowls while she threw up, staging coups to escape the hospital, etc. Silverstein had a very rough time, especially when required to get a pacemaker to keep her failing first heart beating. Each day and night were a fight for life, and Silverstein was ready to give up, until a heart transplant came to her six days before her 1A transplant status expired. The end of the book finds Silverstein feeling as healthy as ever, revealing in nature, grateful for the friends that go her through to this new stage of living. While Silverstein did pass away in 2023, she lived a good eight or nine years with her new heart, and this book lives on as a testimony to the people who helped her get there. What glory that she had such friends!

96. A Dance in Donegal by Jennifer Deibel—Okay, this book is a keeper! Not one for historical fiction, I read this book because of a trip planned to Ireland. It took me a little bit to get into the book, but then the story of Moira Doherty’s journey to Donegal, Ireland to become the new schoolteacher danced away with me. This book is not short on real life, bringing with it many emotions including joy, grief, love, anger, and fear. Woven throughout the multi-layered, book are many spiritual truths. Through it all, the theme of God’s presence and ability to redeem all things shines forth. This is a beautiful book, and you’d better believe that I am going to read more from this author!

97. Now Go Out There (and Get Curious) by Mary Karr [Audiobook]—I don’t know if I should really count this short commencement address as a book, but it was in the Libby app as an audiobook, so I am adding it to my list! In this short address, Syracuse professor Mary Karr chronicles her journey from a tough childhood in rough and tumble Texas, to a stay in a mental hospital, to a poetry residency. She states that “Getting what you want often scares you more than not getting it,” and that “the opposite of love is fear.” She encourages people to get curious about what scares them, and replace revulsion with curiosity. Facing fear can be the start of something great, and provide opportunities for empathy. “Go out there and buy somebody broker than you lunch,” she ends her speech, and in that is not only an admonition, but an invitation to know self and others better. At only 21 minutes, this address is worth going out there and listening to.

98. Cooking Well: Osteoporosis by Marie-Annick Courtier—Thankfully I don’t have osteoporosis (yet). I am trying to increase bone healing nutrients in my diet after my running injury, though. This book was not helpful in that process. It is old, dated, photo less (I like photos in cookbooks) and very focused on restrictive dieting (low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb). (The author even says to refuse food if in doubt about how it was prepared. Sorry, I’d rather be fed!) I think the author might also be British, as some of the terms in the book seem British rather than American. (That’s not a problem, just something to note.) All in all, this book was a dud. Thankfully it didn’t take me long to skim through it.

99. Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges by Mona Delahooke, PhD, read by Coleen Marlo [Audiobook]—Mona Delahooke is a clinical and consulting pediatric psychologist, but she is not into diagnosing kids. She is into helping them become their best selves. With lots of understanding and compassion, Delahooke encourages caregivers and professionals to look underneath behaviors before trying to change them. She focuses on the power of attuned relationships, and how those can literally change children's trajectories. While her book is clinical, it is also accessible and practical, containing both composite stories of clients, as well as worksheets to use with one's own children or clients. I think this is a great resource for parents and professionals alike!

100. The Lady of Galway Manor by Jennifer Deibel—I have definitely found a new favorite author! And it turns out she lives in Arizona, too. In this book, Lady Annabeth DeLacy starts up an apprenticeship at Jenning’s jeweler’s shop after her father becomes landlord of Galway Parish in Ireland. Tensions between their British family and the local Irish people are high, but that does not dissuade Annabeth. Rather, she seeks to learn about, and comes to love the local people. Her situation is complex, though, as without a son, she as eldest daughter is expected to save the family. Then there is the matter of Stephen Jennings, hurt so badly by the exodus of his first love, and the murder of his brother that he dares not connect with others. This story has so many layers of complexity, and its portrayal of sacrificial love nearly brought me to tears. This book is definitely worth reading!

101. 
This is Me: Living the Person You Are Today by Chrissy Metz [Audiobook]—I have never watched This is Us, the show that made Chrissy Metz famous, but the title of her book caught my eye. As I listened to her story, I winced with pain over the abuse she endured. I chuckled over some of the experiences she shared in a such a wry, dry, way. I celebrated her work to be herself, to forgive, and to treat others with respect. Some people say that Chrissy is a Christian. This book points to spirituality, but does not really document faith. (She also does some non-traditional Christian things like swearing and consulting a shaman.) This book might trigger some, but others might find it inspiring. All in all, it was a worthwhile lesson for me as I continue to explore my own identity and owning all God made me to be.

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Has anybody else read 100 books already this year? Or am I just overly voracious?

Monday, June 29, 2026

LESS Lying (To Myself)


If you've been reading along, it's been a (few) months. Truly, my life is not the worst it could be, but it is not the best, either. There is one thing I would like to do more of (running), but I can't do that. And there are a lot of things I could do less of. Up for consideration this month were less running (but hey, I'm already doing that), less overthinking (decide once), less loneliness (to motivate me to reach out to friends), less discontent (with a focus on increasing novelty, and less lying to myself. I settled on that last one on the premise that doing what I said I would do would help my motivation, and my mental health. I also kept seeing wellness creator Ashley LeMieux talk about the transformational nature of keeping promises to herself . I told myself to keep at least one promise to myself a day, but I didn't even do that. Here's what I did do:

I realized that a lot of promises to myself come down to a time crunch. I tell myself I'll do the fun thing, the self-care thing, the thing for myself after I get all my other responsibilities done. When I've completed those responsibilities, though, I often don't have time to do "my" thing, or I am just too tired to enjoy it. 

I experimented with keeping promises to myself, even if it meant running late (usually to work, or to my self-appointed next task). Thankfully I didn't actually shirk too many of my duties. (I have some flexibility with my admin time at work, for example, and if I get to work a little later, I can make up that time elsewhere.) I did find it stressful to run late, however.

I tried remaking promises to myself when I failed the first one (e.g. getting out for a walk at 6:30 instead of 6 AM). Sometimes, I still failed the second promise. Sometimes I failed a third time. And sometimes, I just didn't do anything for myself at all.

In some ways, keeping promises to myself reduced overthinking. If I told myself I was going to do something, I needed to do it in order not to make myself a liar. I realized that I can't just keep giving up on myself and expecting life to get better. I have to "bet on" myself by taking risks. And following through on things is making myself a truth-teller, whereas chickening out makes me a liar.

I could do a lot better to truth tell to myself. I could do better about being motivated and making promises to myself. Ultimately, I think that comes down to resting in the Truth Teller Himself, Jesus Christ, and my identity in Him. I could do to be a lot better connected to Him, and if I was, I would probably have a much, much better perspective on life and truly living in it.

Reference:

LeMieux, Ashley. [@AshleyLeMieux]. (2025, March 7). Keeping one promise a day to yourself is the most impactful way to change your life, and I’ll stand by. [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DG6MDSeSfg8/?hl=en

Sunday, June 28, 2026

The More of LESS Report (June)



I said this was going to be a year of less, and it’s turning out to be one, though not in the way I would like. Having not run since May, I’m not at less miles, I am at zero miles. I’ve had a little less work, but a lot more doctor’s appointments. (Thankfully I’ve been able to take sick time for them.) I have been doing less, but mostly because I can't do more.


There are certainly blessings in the slow-down, but I’m also struggling. My motivation has been low, and I’ve frittered away much of my time instead of doing purposeful things with it. I’ve written less, spent little time with friends, and even reclused from my husband. I haven’t worn a full face of makeup in weeks. I stopped painting my nails for a while. I’m dressing in the comfiest, loosest, stretchiest clothes I have. I haven’t been greatly disciplined about sleep or making our meals more nutritious. (I’ve been eating a lot, but not in the best proportions, or from the best sources.) I have been tanking, spiraling, deteriorating. Whatever I want to call it, it’s hasn’t been the kind of purposeful, intent-full life of less for which I hoped. I feel like all my goals have gone into the dumpster, or at least not had much meaningful effort applied to them. Could I change things? Yes? No? Maybe? But what’s the point? I need a renewed sense of purpose. As for my LESS goals, well, let's just say I have been making less, rather than more progress:


January-LESS scrolling:
This goal is definitely not goaling. I am spending way too much time on social media. I tell myself to stop, but then I pick my phone right back up to look for something that will take my mind off my inertia, bring a hit of dopamine to my dopamine depleted brain. It does not work, but I keep doing it, and that, my friends, is the definition of insanity.

February-LESS picking: This is better when I have my phone in my hand, but worse when I just feel terrible about my body.

March-LESS hunger (judgment)This goals is a, "Yes," and a "No." I have been "giving in" to my hunger a lot. Supposedly part of the cure for this injury is eating in excess so that the body will heal. Have I gained weight? Yep, at about a pound a week since I got injured. My dietitian says this is good, but it does not feel good. So in summary, yes, I have been "honoring," my hunger, but I have also been angry at it and uncomfortable with its results, so a draw in this one.

*Note, I guess in some ways, it is a blessing that I have been so hungry. Hunger makes it easier to eat the amount I supposedly need to heal. Stuffing myself would make me feel even worse.

April-LESS goals: Well, I am stagnated here. I keep trying to find a goal that interests me as much as running, and so far, the only thing I have been doing is cooking more sourdough recipes. That is good, but not necessarily a parallel or "replacement."

In an effort to try to get motivated, I did start stacking up the goals again, too. This month, I was working towards a five minute plank challenge and a daily crunches challenge. That was probably too much on top of physical therapy exercises. I also tried to reach out to a friend everyday. Maybe I did not need to make this a daily goal, but it did help me at least try to navel gaze less.

May-LESS no: I honestly kind of forgot about this goal until my husband asked me to do some things. One thing, I asked to do on a different day. In the second instance, when I got him a lobster roll for National Lobster Day, I gave my immediate, "No," to his offer of a bite. I did realize this, though, and kind of prayed he would ask again so I could say, "Yes." He asked. I said, "Yes," and I have to say, lobster is not worth the hype, in my opinion. But hey, I kept with an intention in a small way for one day. (And a few other days, I made it, too.)

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In other areas, I find I am not missing the "less" in my closet much at all. In fact, growing out of my clothes might make my closet even more minimal!This month, I tried to clean out some of our freezer stores of food. (I used quite a bit, but we still have a bit. Frozen meals are not bad, but when the chest freezer no longer has room to fit much more, it is time to decrease inventory.) I have been doing less activities, and missing them, but surviving. Honestly, I would really like a "more" life right now, but for right now, this is the life I have. By God's grace, and in His power, may I be grateful for it and at least for the next month, complain a little less.