The Running Body

If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me, "That's why you look so good," after they find out I am a runner, I would be much wealthier than I am. Sorry to break it to the masses, but the way I look is mostly not due to running. In fact, running may contribute to a less than "ideal" body type, something no one really talks about, so let me do that today.

Thin may be ideal in today's society, but my body shape and size is largely due to genetics. (Ask my dad about some of the pejorative comments people made about him and his siblings while they were growing up.) Thin is not, better, either. As a genetically smaller person, it is harder for me to gain muscle. I have less cushion when I fall. When I get sick and cannot consume adequate nutrition, my body has less to feed on. This body is my home and I am grateful for it, but its size does not make me any better (or worse) than the next person.

Though many people start running in an attempt to lose weight, that is not the case for me. Over the course of my second half-marathon training cycle, I actually gained about ten pounds. For me, that was actually a good thing. Whether I gained muscle or fat, I do not know. I just know that the scale went up. During my most recent work with a running dietitian, I learned that despite my efforts to the contrary, I was underfueling my runs (Moore, n.d.). Fueling more would further increase my weight, she said, but also skyrocket my performance. She wasn't wrong.

Running has added to the size of my butt, hips, and thighs, too. Those are not always areas that people generally want to grow. Pants that use to fit (even yoga pants!) have gotten tighter the more I run. I have outgrown pants in my usual size, and pants people gifted me based on my old body don't fit at all. This feels contradictory to the message that smaller means healthier. Not in my case.

My stomach is less flat and I feel more bloated and "fluffy" as I run more. This is probably due to muscle glycogen storage, as carbohydrates store water with them. I need carbohydrates and water to run long, though, so I have to accept this change. A dehydrated, underfueled body is no good for running!

Although some people seem to think that running means you can eat whatever you want, it is actually quite the opposite. Fun foods like pizza do not actually made for good post-run fuel (because of the lack of protein in that particular food). I have to eat better foods after I long run if I want to adequately recover. Needing my GI tract to cooperate with me while out for a long time actually means eating less "good-for-you" things like broccoli in the days before I run-no cheat days there, either. (High fiber and high fat are apparently difficult for the body to digest, which can lead to problems on the run.) I end up eliminating a lot of fruits and vegetables during carb loads before a race (which thankfully are only three days.) On the run, I actually need to eat things I might not normally want to, like baby food fruit pouches and or sugary gels. As many sports dietitians say, performance nutrition is not everyday nutrition.

Am I grateful for this body that allows me to run? One hundred percent! Am I running to change my body. No? In fact, running is changing my body is some ways that are not the most comfortable for me, and that actually make me look less "fit" according to societal standards. Fitting in is not what running is about for me, though. Running is about fitting in an enjoyable activity into my life. It is about doing something that fits with me and the person God made me to be. So, body changes or not, here I come, working at fueling better in order to get this body ready to run towards my next goals!

Reference:

Moore, E. (n.d.). The Dietitian Runner. https://thedietitianrunner.com/

I've Gotten Bigger.

I've gotten bigger. No, not more muscular. I don't think that's really in the cards for me (or in my genetics). Rather, I am learning to take up space in the world--not to take space from others, but to take up my own space. Let me explain.

For some reason, it always seemed "better" to me to take up less space, be smaller, operate on minimum resources, cow-tow to those around me. Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was both. But I was always trying to be less; make less of a splash, and do more on less. Running is teaching me the opposite, that it is good to use resources, to take up space.

"I spent x dollars on more running snacks," I told my husband after a recent Costco trip.

"So?" He didn't bat an eye. I'm not used to buying so much extra food to support my running, and I felt a bit guilty about it. He didn't seem to care. Another day, I noted that our grocery budget was going up due to all I was eating. "So, you run more, you eat more," he said (or something like that). To him, it was no big deal that I needed more resources. To me, it felt presumptuous. I was taking more from us, and I knew if I did less, I would need less. At the same time, I hated to give up on my big running goals just because I was unwilling to use resources and take up space.

Endurance running takes up not only resource space, but time space. It takes time from other leisure activities. It takes time from my husband. Sometimes, it requires me to reconfigure my work schedule. I've felt bad about all taking up space in all of these areas, but if the people in my life support me, why do I feel guilty for making use of the opportunities they give me? I really do want to see what I can do!

Running has been an avenue for learning, not the only one, but a wide one. I am still learning what it means to take up my space in the world humbly, to use resources well, to give thanks, and so much more. I'm getting bigger, bolder, braver, and I hope, in the Lord's strength stronger to ask for what I need and use it for my good and His glory. May whatever space I take up in the world always point to him.

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 8)

This Week's Eats:

Chickpea "tuna" salad (Drugstore Divas)

Lentil stew (Running on Real Food)

Seeded PB oat energy balls (The Dietitian Runner)

Whole wheat sourdough pancakes (Tastes of Lizzy T)

Noteworthy Repeats:

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Homemade ranch dressing (with Greek yogurt) (It Starts With Protein)

Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)

Sourdough discard oatmeal bake (Acts of Sourdough)

Freezer Pull-Outs:

Easy five minute gravy (Karissa's Vegan Kitchen)

Homemade pizza sauce (Budget Bytes)

Thin and crispy pizza crust (Budget Bytes)

Whole wheat bread (Sally's Baking Addiction)

My Second Marathon

My second marathon, and I might be done, not because it didn't go well, but because it did. And it hurt, bad. I'm just not sure I'm made for this distance.

The Backstory

I signed up for this marathon shortly after last year's 10K. Debating between the half- and full-marathon distances, I asked my husband for his input. He told me that I should run the one I most wanted to run. Having heard horror stories of the traffic backups getting to the half marathon last year, I went with the full distance. 

I took a little time off after that 10K, then trained for Pat's Run and ran my first half-marathon for fun. Following that, I trained for Columbus half-marathon, sliding right into full-marathon training.

The Training

I went with the Boston Level Two plan this year (Boston Marathon, n.d., "Training plans". I started off thinking I would go for the 3:45 time, but then I decided to go all in for 3:30. That time would Boston qualify me, though probably not get me into the race, as the current buffer is seven minutes plus (Boston Marathon, n.d., "Qualify for the Boston Marathon"). Let's just say training was rough. I got ill a few times. I experienced quite a bit of gastrointestinal distress. Work has been super intense and stressful since January. I lost my voice the week of the race (more on that later). I really considered deferring or canceling several times.

Race Week

I came into race week with what I refer to as the "chest squeezy" feeling. I wasn't sick, but I didn't feel quite right, either. I started taking Vitamin C and Zinc on Saturday, and allergy medicine on Sunday. By Tuesday, I had mostly lost my voice. As I lay in bed Tuesday night considering what to do about work, I felt like God was prompting me to take time off. After all, I pretty much talk for a living, and it would be a push to try to force my voice through all the meetings I had planned. I did the meetings I had to do and took the rest of the day off. I took a nap and by Thursday, I thought I was mostly better. I finally hit race pace in my last five mile workout and I thought I had a chance.

I went to the shakeout run on Friday at what I thought was an early time, but there were already a lot of people there, and no shoes left in my size to test. Oh well. I ran the run, dashed to Home Depot to pick up supplies for my husband for our home renovation process, and went back to the expo. 

Big pickup was easy. I even got a mug for participating in this even for five year. (I didn't even realize it was that long!). There was a long line for bib testing, though. The people running the bib testing said that the server was slow, and we could move on if we trusted the system. I did, going through the whole expo to fill out my expo passport. (I now have enough points to register for at least the 10K for free!) This was probably the best expo yet, with lots of giveaways and swag. At the pacer's table, I picked up pace bands for 3:30 all the way to 3:45. I really wasn't sure how I should go out. While I believed I was capable of running a 3:30, calculators put me at 3:33 at the fastest, with a more realistic time of 3:49. Should I bet on myself or not?

The Night Before

I hit my carb goals early, and was able to get in bed by 8 PM. I wondered how I would sleep, given that I also napped that day. Praise Jesus, I slept pretty well!

Race Morning

I woke up at 3 AM. That was barely early enough, but I made it! I listened to my audio Bible reading (One Year Bible, n.d.), worked on my pull-ups, did my push-ups, PT exercises, stretching and foam rolling. Then I got dressed, made my cup of coffee with RNWY collagen, toasted my bagel, climbed up and down the stairs, and was out of the house around 4 am (RNWY, n.d.; Farmhouse on Boone, 2024).

My kind husband has been my chauffeur every year for the race, and thank goodness! I still don't know my way around town, and with lots of roads shut down, it was interesting to get to the bus line. While driving, I ate my banana and bagel and drank my coffee.

Transportation instructions this year had different parking and drop off locations. My husband said he didn't like the drop off, but I thought it worked well. He dropped me off around 4:20 AM. I was on a bus by around 4:30 AM, and we departed at 4:40 AM.

It was a bit of a drive to the start line, through Tempe and up the mountain. We arrived about 5:30 AM, which I thought was a good time, as it only left an hour until start time. Well, the porta-potty lines were already long, and even though I jumped right in, it took about 40 minutes to get through. That left me just enough time to throw my bag on the truck for retrieval at race end, and get in the corrals.

In the corrals, I decided to line up with the 3:35 group. We heard there was no 3:30 pacer, and the 3:35 pacer Ken seemed nice (Skrien, n.d.). Two other ladies and I were right with him.

The weather was pretty cool at the start (around 49 degrees and cool). I gave my first mylar blanket to two ladies shivering in the cold. I honestly did not want to, but I thought it was the right thing to do. God was gracious, and I found a discarded mylar blanket in a trash can when I went to drop my bag. Maybe it is gross, but I took it and kept it right until the start line.

The Race

Miles 1-10 I pretty much ran with the pacer the whole way. He seemed he like he knew what he was doing, and I trusted him. Sometimes he was a little ahead of me. Sometimes I got a little ahead of the pack. There was a hill around miles 4-6, but it was not too bad. It was lovely not to look at my watch, and I just chugged along, taking gels every three miles.

Miles 10-20 I started feeling my legs probably around mile 9 or so, and by 13, I was hurting some. I thought to myself, "And this is why I am a half-marathon girl." At some point, I actually got ahead of the pace group, and I thought I just might be on track for a 3:30. Then things started slowing down. I took a Carbs fuel gel with 100 mg of caffeine at mile 15, and at about mile 18, I felt it kick in (Carbs Fuel, n.d.). By this point, though, I had dropped behind the pace group. [Marathon Mama RD also passed me (Scott, n.d.)] I was off pace for a 3:30 slightly by mile 17, and at 18, I was hurting. I told myself I had just about an hour left, and that around 22, I would see my husband.

Miles 20-26.2 My pace kept slowing as the flat ground and hot sun loomed before me. I texted my husband around mile 20 that I planned to throw my pack at him. I had drank most of the RAW electrolyte water and just wanted to shed weight (RAW, n.d.). I stuffed my pockets with my remaining fuel, and still slowed down. I went from 8:04 to 8:07 to 8:10/mile. I didn't really look at my watch. Honestly, I didn't care about my time anymore. I just wanted to finish. I knew I had friends at the finish line, and I didn't want to disappoint them.

One of my "friends" (the ladies with whom I started) was off and on my shoulder as we got closer to the finish line. I saw at least two people either doubled over or sitting. I told myself to hold on. I was belching gels at this point, so I let myself get away with skipping the one at mile 24. I took a few sips of water and grabbed a Crank E-gel and Skratch energy chews (because I am a sucker for freebies) and just kept going (Crank Sports, n.d.; Skratch, n.d.).

I tried to be encouraging as I went. I saw one lady walking and crying. I saw Waddell Running Lady with her son's name on her bib and cheered her on (Schroff, n.d.). I tried to run a little faster, telling myself that if I sped up, I would finish faster. I gave it all I had in the last 0.2 miles, and I thought I was fast. Splits say I was just the same: 8:10/mile. 

The Finish

I did see my friends and husband out of the corner of my eye as I finished. I threw up my hands and stopped my watch. The 3:35 group was pretty far in front of me, but the clock said 3:35 when I passed, so I thought I might be close. My watch said 26.47 in 3:34:20, but I stopped it after the finish, so I wondered what my time was. The app didn't say.

I grabbed my medal and filled up a bag with food: Spylt chocolate milk, Siete Foods, That's It fruit bars, water, and more (Spylt, n.d.; Siete Foods, n.d., That't It, n.d.). I skipped the banana, thinking we had a lot at home. That was a mistake.

The Finish Line Festival

I thought the Finish Line Festival was for runners only, but my husband and friends got to me. My friends had made me a sign, which was super fun. I immediately went to the results tent, but after waiting in line for quite some time, was told to come back in 30 minutes, as my results had not registered. We went and took photos and got some more goodies. I went back. They told me to come back again. I hobbled over to take pictures with the 26.2 sign, and then my friends had to leave. At some point, I went and got my drop bag (a little bit of an Easter egg hunt, but I found it.). The Honor Health tent let me have a banana, and that helped with refueling.

I am not sure if I went back to the results tent one or two more times. All I know is that it was getting hot. I felt like I was getting sunburned, and both my husband and I felt thirsty. Running friends encouraged me to go to the Honor Health tent to stretch out, and that helped my pain some. Eventually, after trying to hydrate with more caffeine (I could only get half down) and eating another protein bar, results were still not it (1st Phorm, n.d. Phorm energy; 1st Phorm, n.d. Level-1 Bar. The nice man (who was losing his voice) explained that the beacons on the course pinged about 50 times per person per beacon, and with 11,000 runners, the server had crashed due to the backlog. It was back up, but not more backlogged than ever. He said it could take until evening or the next day to register time. Convinced that I would get a time, we went to the car and drove home.

The Drive Home

While driving home, I listened to the kind shoutouts my sister-in-law (plus niece and nephew), Mom and Dad, and prayer partner of my mom's sent. I had forgotten my AirPods, but that was just as well, as it it made the drive home more special. Mom had asked me to send her a picture of what I was wearing on the run, and I figured she had some plan, but what I didn't know was that she would have a friend on the course to cheer me on. What a blessing!

My finish time finally posted while driving home: 3:34:14--not a Boston qualifier, but over 17 minutes faster than my first. And there was so much to give thanks for: nice weather, friends, good nutrition (thanks to my running dietitian, which will be another post), the pacer, food at the expo to get me through an extra long stay, the Asics Magic Speed shoes Sole Sports got me hooked on, no blisters thanks to Bombas socks from my husband, etc. (Moore, n.d.; Asics, n.d.; Sole Sports, n.d.; Scheels, n.d.).

It took me a bit to unpack and unwind when I got home. I had coffee, plus 100 mg of caffeine on the course, plus 200 more in the protein drink, plus 100-150 mg more. Needless to say, I was buzzed.

I didn't think I was hungry after I showered, but I thought I should eat more. My friends gave both my husband I goodie boxes, and praise Jesus, there was a savory Quiche Lorraine in there (Paris Baguette, n.d.). After all the sweetness of the gels, that hit the spot. I attempted to nap, but nah, that was not happening. Caffeine and adrenaline do not for a good nap make. But that's okay. It was still a good day.

Final Thoughts

The pacer told us early on in the race to find our, "Why." I had it written on my wrists: "loved" on my left wrist, and "beloved" on my right wrist. Loved was to remind me to pray for the kids with whom I work. "Beloved" was from the new Francis Chan book (2025), and encouragement to me to focus on absorbing God's love. As I ran, I thought about what it meant to "be loved." I committed to myself that I would not take anything for granted, thank God for whatever results came, and actually try to accept and absorb the love of all the people supporting me on this day. I did pray a lot. I am super grateful for the results. I am not sure I have fully absorbed all the love of the people around me or of God, but you know what? I have that very kind race sign to look at and remind me of love for as long as I want to keep it around. That's probably going to be for a very long time!

References:

Asics. (n.d). Magic Speed. https://www.asics.com/us/en-us/magic-speed/c/aa50124900/?CAWELAID=120223060000996421&CATRK=SPFID-1&CATARGETID=120223060000867441&CAPCID=587613936406&CATCI=dsa-19959388920&CAAGID=130950374040&CADevice=c&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=10390976860&gbraid=0AAAAADl69Mha6JyZbmEthRvK5MOWT72vI&gclid=Cj0KCQiA18DMBhDeARIsABtYwT2fJ3oKsxUvl044pCFuHqs00MVb8zS4Cm5hzF71mHdhe3ficQKwNEsaAnWvEALw_wcB

Boston Marathon. (n.d.). Qualify for the Boston Marathon. https://www.baa.org/races/boston-marathon/qualify/

Boston Marathon. (n.d.). Training plans. https://www.baa.org/races/boston-marathon/info-for-athletes/boston-marathon-training/

Carbs Fuel. (n.d.). Carbs Fuel original caffeinated 50g energy gel. https://carbsfuel.com/products/carbs-fuel-caffeinated-original-50g-energy-gel

Chan, F., & Gordon, M. (2025). Beloved. David C. Cook.

Crank Sports. (n.d.). Radical raspberry e-gel. https://www.cranksports.com/product/radical-raspberry-e-gel-box-of-24/

Farmhouse on Boone. (2024, April 27). Easy sourdough discard bagels. https://www.farmhouseonboone.com/easy-sourdough-discard-bagels/#wprm-recipe-container-41224

1st Phorm. (n.d.). Level-1 bar. https://1stphorm.com/products/level-1-bar-15ct?variant=40173113737302

1st Phorm. (n.d). Phorm energy. https://1stphorm.com/products/phorm-energy

Moore, E. (n.d.). The Dietitian Runner. https://thedietitianrunner.com/

Paris Baguette. (n.d.). Quiche Lorraine. https://parisbaguette.com/product/quiche-lorraine/

RAW. (n.d.). RAW replenish. https://getrawnutrition.com/products/raw-replenish?srsltid=AfmBOoqjVrcdX1lM0_ZQ5yCKWzG0a2rGrwIqGRAigxSbKn_bbJBNbr1O&variant=51657774334270

RNWY. (n.d.). RNWY foundation. https://rnwy.life/products/foundation?srsltid=AfmBOoqU6wWmXDD7Gyzy-F1kRCyx8OdoJoBe896SQxm77xyjbYPI6pKM

Scheels. (n.d.). Bombas performance ankle running socks. https://www.scheels.com/p/84362919468?queryID=c9989f49f8db5376728a82c6bcff6378

Schroff, M. [@WaddellRunningLady]. (n.d.). Waddell Running Lady. [Instagram profile]. Instagram. Retrieved February 14, 2026 from https://www.instagram.com/waddellrunninglady/.

Scott, J. [@MarathonMama_RD]. (n.d.). Marathon Mama RD. [Instagram profile. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/marathonmama_rd/

Siete Foods. https://sietefoods.com/shop/

Skratch Labs. (n.d.). Energy chews sport fuel. https://www.cranksports.com/product/radical-raspberry-e-gel-box-of-24/

Skrien, K. [@Im_That_Ken]. (n.d.). I'm That Ken. [Instagram profile]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/im_that_ken/

Sole Sports. (n.d.). https://solesports.runfreeproject.com/

Spylt. (n.d.). Spylt chocolate milk. https://www.spylt.com/product/chocolate-milk

That's It. (n.d.). Fruit bars. https://www.thatsitfruit.com/collections/shop-fruit-bars?srsltid=AfmBOorcRr0Oq8XJ7lB7PDp-HpFK0AeK9xTu4pbV9dephGOVX1EArZRJ

Love Gifts from God

High school was not the worst of times, but it was not the best of times, either. I was struggling with academic stress, friend stress, work stress, and more. I was also battling anxiety and depression, for a time with medication and therapy, and later with nothing but natural support from family and friends. I remember clearly some deep days of despair on which I called out to God to do something to show me his love. He never had to answer. He is sovereign and perfect and I was certainly not, but time and time again, God graciously reached down and gave me gifts of love.

Somewhere around Valentine's Day of my senior year of high school, I got a call from the college I wanted to attend letting me know I had gotten a half-tuition scholarship. With the steep price of the school, this made it a little more accessible, if not yet quite feasible. Sometime around that period, I also got a call from my dad's company letting me know that I had received their top academic scholarship which meant, for the first year, I would owe nothing in school tuition. Sure, I would have move-in and living an expenses, but I could go to my dream school without going into debt. Praise!

I had come home from the scholarship weekend competition at that school some weeks earlier, telling my parents I wanted to attend the school, but that there was no way it would work out. "Just wait," my dad said. "See what God will do." And wow, God came through! I am pretty sure my dad reminded me of this, too, not to say, "I told you so," but as an earthly father, to point to the love of my heavenly father.

On several other dark days in high school, I remember crying out to God for signs of his love as I completed tasks related to my house cleaning job for a lovely family in a town nearby time. At least twice, the mom of that household came out to me and gave me immense gifts: designer hand-me-down clothes from her daughter, and later an entire set of dishes (that we still use to this day). Did that lady know I was struggling? Or was she just acting on Holy Spirit conviction? Maybe both! Whatever the case, I viewed those gifts as wonderful blessings not just from her, but from a God who loved me.

And this year, after a particularly stressful few weeks of work, followed by a few moments when I literally thought I was going to lose my mind, God gave me a love gift again. I had driven about 20 minutes to my Avon lady's house to pick up my order, not entirely convenient, but something that saved me shipping and sort of allowed me to "shop local." "I put a little gift in there for you," she said. "I gave you the other kind of mascara, just so you can try both and see which one you like." (I had ordered one tube of mascara to replace my now three year old product.) When I got home and looked at the tube, what word stood out prominently? Love.

I felt lighter after that interaction, not entirely better, but definitely loved. There was absolutely no reason the Avon lady needed to give me two tubes of mascara. I don't even use a lot of makeup, so it would take me a while to go through both, but still. It was a love gift: from her, and from God. One of the reasons I chose this lady is because she is a believer, so I believe that she must have given me that extra mascara as a prompting from God.

As I write this, I realize how often God has shown me His love through other people. What would have happened if those people had chosen to disobey God's promptings? I don't know. I hope that I wouldn't have lost faith, but I know for sure I would have felt more despairing, depressed, and dejected. I hope that maybe in some cases, God's love has been able to flow through me to others, as His love flowed through me to these. Perhaps on this Valentine's Day, that is something to think about: how to see God's love through the acts of others, and how to give God's love through acts of service and care. God's ultimate gift of love was in and through His Son Jesus. While we can't save the world, perhaps God can use our love to move people a little closer to true salvation, or at the last, save them from feeling completely unloved in this here and now life.

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 7)

This Week's Eats:

Apple-cinnamon risotto (Easy Vegetarian Slow Cooker) 

Best corn on the cob (Gluten Free Alchemist)

One hour sourdough discard burger buns (Amy Bakes Bread)

Pennsylvania coal region BBQ (365 Days of Slow + Pressure Cooking)

Simple sourdough applesauce muffins with applesauce (Food Over Comfort)

Taco roasted potatoes (My Sequined Life)

Noteworthy Repeats:

BBQ chicken pizza (Budget Bytes) on thin and crispy pizza crust (Budget Bytes)

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Homemade ranch dressing (with Greek yogurt) (It Starts With Protein)

Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)

Freezer Pull-Outs:

Best barbecue sauce (Easy Vegetarian Slow Cooker) 

Easy five minute gravy (Karissa's Vegan Kitchen)

Jalapeno-cilantro stem marinade (Food 52)

Sourdough discard bagels (Farmhouse on Boone)

Sourdough discard protein bagels (This Jess Cooks)

Real Life Marriage: Marriage is a Vulnerability.

Anytime I watch a marriage crumble, I get a case of the fears. It is not that my husband gives me any reason to doubt his faithfulness or fidelity. It is that each and every time the demise of marriage catches me by surprise. People's relationships look and appear sound, until they're in a million pieces on the ground.

Marriage is a wonderful gift, but also a vulnerability. I have told my husband many times that I think I could survive his death more than his unfaithfulness. It's not that I want him to die or wouldn't miss him if he did. It's that I would have good memories and believe God could help me move on. If he cheated on me or otherwise left me, I know by God's grace I would survive, but I don't feel like I could. I think I'd rather God just take me home myself.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians to urge people to stay unmarried if they could. He writes, "I want you to be free from anxieties" (English Standard Version, 2019, 1 Corinthians 7:32). I think the fears of marriage are part of what he means here. Marriage is great. It has blessed me with love and companionship and sanctification and growth. But if I am honest, it also leaves me afraid. All I can do is cling to God and try to walk the walk, because God knows, my marriage could be the next one to explode.

Proactively, are we doing all we can to preserve our marriage? No, probably not. We miss date nights. We miss devotionals. We have spats and I hold bitterness too long. But we are working on our marriage. God has grown our communication. We have safeguards in place to help us stay faithful. We have people who call us on stuff. Is it enough, though? No. Only God is enough. Our covenant is in Him, and only He is enough to hold us together, together, together, or should the worst happen, together with him to go through it.

Marriage is a risk, and I took it. The fear is real, though. The prayers to stay faithful, for others, and for ourselves, are also real. They are the only way in which I know to walk forward, because goodness, marriage is a mine field.

Reference:

English Standard Version. (2019). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/#copy