Why Are Thursdays So Bad?

I have always had a "crash day" during my work week, a day when I come home and can do little to nothing else. A day when I will literally cry over spilled milk. A night when I can't make simple decisions. A night when I get in a spat with my husband over ridiculously minor things. For a while, that day was Wednesday, and then it moved to Thursday, as Thursdays became the actual end of my work week. (I currently work a four-ten-ish schedule.) Thursday mornings, I found myself lacking motivation. Thursday nights I found myself walking through life like a zombie. Why? From observing myself and others, I have a few theories about why Thursdays (or whatever the crash day is) are so bad:

The end of the week is like a ticking time bomb. Whatever is on the list has to be done, and the time to do it is decreasing. This creates pressure, and pressure creates stress. Stress fills up the window of tolerance* making it hard to tolerate, well, anything.

I start to process the hard stuff. When the stress finally goes down towards the end of the week, the hard stuff fills up my window of tolerance, living me little room to well, tolerate anything else. Therefore, I melt down more easily.

I am often hungry at the beginning or end of the day. This complicates everything. I am either hanxious (hungry-anxious) or hangry (hungry-angry) (Cleveland Clinic, 2021; Folk, 2022). This makes things worse.

Thursdays (or whatever the end of the week is) are hard days. Maybe they don't have to be bad, though. Maybe if I change my self-care practices, and change my expectations, they'll be better.

I can attack the tasks that I can do earlier in the week, earlier. I can try to discharge early week stress sooner (eg through exercise, yoga, prayer, meditation, going to bed sooner, or what have you). I can ask my husband for extra tolerance and grace. (I am blessed in that my husband notices patterns and now gives me extra time and space on crash days.) I can make sure to feed myself before trying to do much of anything else. I can lower expectations and stop scheduling so many to-dos, social events, etc. on my crash days. I can put off non-urgent decisions that need to be made until later. I can give myself grace (though this last one is a hard one).

While I do often need to go to bed earlier as an act of self-care, I don't want to always end up in a puddle of tears in bed at the end of Thursday (or whatever my crash day is). I want to be functional to the extent that I can be. I want to be nice to my husband.

I am noticing my patterns. Thursdays have been bad, but they don't have to be. Here's to acting on what I know and having better, even if less expectant, ends of the work week.

*For an explanation of the window of tolerance, read "How to Help Your Clients Understand Their Window of Tolerance (National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine, n.d.)."

References:

Cleveland Clinic. (2021, June 7) . Is being 'hangry' really a thing -- or just an excuse? https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-being-hangry-really-a-thing-or-just-an-excuse

Folk, J. (2022, February 17). Anxiety symptoms when hungry. Anxiety Centre. https://www.anxietycentre.com/faq/anxiety-symptoms-when-hungry/

National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. (n.d). How to help your clients understand their window of tolerance. https://www.nicabm.com/trauma-how-to-help-your-clients-understand-their-window-of-tolerance/

Contentment and Work

I have a good job. Really, I do. I work at a place with whose mission I align. I have great, supportive, believing supervisors. I like my coworkers. I am honored that people let me do what I do. And still, work does not complete me. Maybe it never will.

I have been on the hunt for purposeful work ever since college. I found purpose and mission in my undergraduate and graduate degrees, but in between, I had a job that was good, but a job that I wasn't invested in long-term. Then I had a job that was good, but didn't feel right. Then I had a job that was "too much," with 24 hour on-call and regularly required overtime. And now I have this job, the longest job I have had since graduate school.

I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to not work. I don't want to leave my job. I think I just need to learn that work is not my be-all end-all. I am complete in Christ, and in Him alone. I can be content with, and grateful for my work, because really, it shouldn't complete me. So I guess in that way, work discontent is good. It points me to the Savior. It points me to my need. It reminds me that my home is in heaven, and I "eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ" (New International Version, 2011, Phil. 3:20). Amen to that!

Reference:

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/#booklist

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 33)

This Week's Eats:

Banana zucchini oatmeal cups (Hummusapien)

Chicken spaghetti (Budget Bytes)

Quick sourdough discard protein bagels (Muscle Momma Sourdough)

Smoky roasted cauliflower and red pepper (Plants Rule)

Sourdough protein waffles (Country Roads Sourdough)

For the Meal Train:

Chicken tacos (Spend with Pennies)

Gluten free dump cake (Everyday Latina)

Instant Pot black beans and rice (Cozy Peach Kitchen)

Noteworthy Repeats:

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Egg bake casserole (Food 52)

Sourdough gravy (The Pantry Mama)

Freezer Pull-Outs:

Best sourdough banana muffins (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough bread

Sourdough chocolate zucchini muffins (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough zucchini bread (The Pantry Mama)

Using Dopamine to One's Advantage

Dopamine is a powerful hormone. Some argue it's too powerful and we need to detox. Others suggest manipulating it to one's advantage. I think it's a God give receptor that we can use to motivate healthy habits and enhance life.

What is dopamine exactly? Dopamine is a neurotransmitter located in the brain, and involved in many bodily processes (Cleveland Clinic, 2022). Not only is it involved in memory, mood, movement, and sleep, but also in motivation and pleasure and reward. It is dopamine's engagement in these latter processes that get the most attention. Dopamine increases goal-directed behavior and rewards with feelings of pleasure (Ma, 2025). It enhances mood (Baron, 2024). Dopamine is going to drive people to some extent, irregardless of circumstance. So why not use it to one's advantage?

Use the reward of dopamine to reward (healthy) habits. "Dopamine is the brain's anticipation and reward chemical. It makes people want do stuff. It makes it easier to start things" says Gabriel Villarreal (Mahan, 2021). This can motivate the start of new habits like exercise, or adding new foods to one's diet. It can encourage the development of other healthy habits like mindfulness, scripture reading, or spending time with loved ones (Daugherty, 2022). Dopamine is not everything, but it is powerful, and people can use it to push themselves towards the life they want to live.

Use dopamine to increase enjoyment. "Introducing new and novel experiences can alter our perception of time, making life feel richer and longer" states Liz Moody (2024). It can increase happiness and deepen relationships. People can use the benefits of dopamine to promote memory-making and motivate intentional interactions (Chinyoka, 2026). It can help people slow down time, and relish living.

Recognize sources of "cheap" dopamine. Screen time and audio stimulation, on the other hand, can speed up time, making the brain like a hamster on a wheel (Singer, 2026). Sure, these give "quick fix" dopamine, but they don't last. When I get to the end of my life, I want my life to matter. And that requires some quite time to think, get creative, and think up some better ways to get dopamine (Daugherty, 2022). This is not necessarily about eliminating, but about adding and prioritizing.

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After a pretty tough season this summer where I lost a lot of my exercise-induced dopamine due to my running injury, I experimented with adding some novelty. I surprised my husband with special snacks in his lunchbox and a few dinners out. We went on a few special outings and trips. We explored more of the parks in our town. Yes, I also sought out cheap dopamine WAY too much via social media, sweets, etc., but I also learned the value of slower dopamine. I learned that my brain craves it, and it's up to me to get in front of that craving. Self-control wanes the longer I wait to do things, and the more tired I get, so I've started planning more novelty into my life to hopefully reduce less of that "quick hit" dopamine seeking. I hope this drives me more towards the life of joy and purpose I want to live, for my good, and God's glory.

References:

Baron, J. (2024, January 26). Friday favorites! Hungry runner girl. https://hungryrunnergirl.com/2024/01/friday-favorites-259.html#

Chinyoka, L. (2026, July 1). Why a monthly "10 list" is the key to unlocking your summer. The everygirl. https://theeverygirl.com/monthly-10-list/

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, March 23). Dopamine. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22581-dopamine

Daugherty, A.K. (2022, January 21) Psychology today. The science of novlety. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-stress-from-the-inside-out/

Ma, L. (2025, November 5). Dopamine. Psychology today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dopamine

Mahan, B. [Host]. (2021, January 30). Exercise as part of the ADHD treatment plan with Gabriel Villarreal, LMHC [Audio podcast episode]. In ADHD essentials. 

Moody, L. (Host). (2024, August 26). The novelty rule: How to use my neuroscience hack that's changing millions of live. (no. 258) [Audio podcast episode]. In The Liz Moody podcast. https://www.lizmoody.com/thelizmoodypodcast-novelty-rule/

Singer, J. (2026, April 19). Why we can't sit alone with our thoughts anymore. Washington post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/home/2026/04/19/excessive-audio-use-addictive-screen-time/

The Importance of Play for Adults

How often do adults tell kids to, "Go play?" And yet, adults struggle to find time to do so themselves. Play is important, for adults, too!

Play is important for an adult's identity. So much of an adult's life focuses around work and productivity. Play is time for fun, and for the sake of fun. "Play is apparently purposeless," writes Brene Brown (2010), and maybe that is part of how it serves its purpose, to help people become more sure and certain of themselves without productivity metrics. “But play is serious. Play is absolute. Play is the complete absorption of something that doesn’t matter to the external world, but which matters completely to you," writes Katherine May (2023). And maybe play is part of the exploration involved in finding the things that really matters.

Play is important for teaching social skills. This holds true for kids and for adults. "Play shapes our brain, helps us foster empathy, helps us navigate complex social groups, and is at the core of creativity and innovation" (Brown, 2010, p. 100). How many friendships form around play, or some type of recreational activity? And how many of us subconsciously learn while engaging in this time of play? Sometimes hard things happen in play, but that teaches us to love, and to love better (Goff). It teaches us humility (Jacobson & Masonheimer, 2021). The world could use of both, I think!

Play relieves stress. The lives of both adults and kids are full of stress. Adults have just lived in the stress longer. Play helps relieve that stress because it requires giving up control. "Play and control cannot coexist," writes author Rebekah Lyons (2019). "Play...breaks us out of our stressful routines and rejuvenates us." It encourages relaxation to kick in (Richo, 2011). And we need play not just some of the time, but at expected times so as to break up our schedules. "While the stressors may not go away, we can develop a rhythm that helps us become more resilient to deal with them."  We need to organize our time such that we make time for play (Levitin, 2015). While we often see play as optional, we really shouldn't.

Play strengthens relationships. Who has heard that men make friends by doing activities side by side? Well this is true, not just for men, but for women, and for partnered individuals. “Play isn’t a luxury or an indulgence, but a necessity for a successful, happy relationship," write marriage researchers (Gottman et al., 2019). “Play don’t just about being with each other, it’s about connecting with each other. When we play together as couples, we’re developing our trust and intimacy.” We attune and connect (van der Kolk, 2015, p. 217). Who doesn't want greater trust, intimacy, and connection in relationships? That is the type of stuff that sustains!

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And how do kids learn to play? From adults! In an age that increasingly has our faces fixed to our screens, I think we could all do better to play a little more, stress a little less, and maybe face each other a little more. Who knows how future generations might benefit?

References:

Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Books.

Gottman, J., Schwartz Gottman, J., Abrams, D., & Abrams, C. (2019). Eight dates: Essential conversations for a liftetime of love. Workman Publishing Company.

Jacobson, L., & Masonheimer, P. (2021). The flirtation experiment: Putting magic, mystery, and spark back into your everyday marriage. Thomas Nelson.

Levitin, D. J. (2015). The organized mind: Thinking straight in the age of information overload. Dutton.

Lyons, R. (2019). Rhythms of renewal: Trading stress and anxiety for a life of peace and purpose. Zondervan.

May, K. (2023). Enchantment: Awakening wonder in an anxious age. Riverhead Books.

Richo, D. (2011). Daring to trust: Opening ourselves to real love & intimacy. Shambhala.

van der Kolk, B. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.

Wide Open Spaces Adventure

Back to the Mogollon Rim for us this weekend! This time it was to the town of Heber/Overgaard, with a side quest to look at some property for sale. (No, we’re not in the market to buy land, but we can dream, right?)

We stopped at the Mogollon Rim Visitor Center. 

This time, we could see the views.

And yes, I found my husband out on a rock outcropping again!

We checked out the property (but not too much since we didn’t want to take the car too far down the gravel road). Lots of scrub brush, some free range cattle, and not too many bigger trees. There were wide open spaces, however. It was quiet, and cool (74 when it was going to be over 100 at home).

We passed through the boardwalk at Heber/Overgaard, but it wasn’t like my husband remembered, more hair salons than cool shops. It was too early for lunch, so we headed back down the hill, narrowly missing all the traffic headed back down the hill from the ASU football scrimmage at Camp T. (We didn’t know that as today, but had both worn maroon ASU shirts. Go figure!)

Maybe this wasn’t our greatest adventure, but it gave us some space. (The drive was about two and a half hours each way.) And sometimes we just need that.

*Spoiler alert: After all that driving, we found out the land we were on was actually US forest land, and not for sale. The maps just didn't take us to the right place!

The Sourdough Report:

Originally, I planned to pack breakfast and lunch for us. Then we decided to eat breakfast at home and get lunch out. In the end, we ended up back home with food I’d prepped: 

Sourdough gozleme and red peppers, cheese sticks, chocolate sourdough brownie bites and ginger soda 

And that’s it! Another Arizona adventure in the books!

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 32)

This Week's Eats:

Banana bread protein overnight oats (Fit Mama Real Food)

BBQ chicken foil packs (Budget Bytes)

Best sourdough banana muffins (The Pantry Mama)

Chocolate sourdough brownie bites (The Pantry Mama)

Ginger soda (Acres & Aprons)

Grilled corn on the cob in the husk (Kitchen Treaty)

Sourdough gozleme (The Pantry Mama)

Noteworthy Repeats:

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Egg bake casserole (Food 52)

Sourdough gravy (The Pantry Mama)

Freezer Pull-Outs:

Sourdough chocolate zucchini muffins (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough bread

Sourdough zucchini bread (The Pantry Mama)

Spinach pancakes (Rooted at Heart)