LESS No

I realized somewhere along the way that I say, "No," a lot, so much so that I often mind myself saying "No" without thinking. I say, "No" to social invitations. I say, "No" to surprise plans. I say, "No" to treats people want to share. I think, "No" has become a protective reflex. "No" is a way to prevent anxiety due to changing of plans. "No" is a way to avoid that overthinking spirals in which I find myself often. "No" is a way to keep my space small, and in my control.

I do not necessarily want to live a small life, though. I want to live a wide, expansive life. I want to live with joy and whimsy, so this month, I told myself to try to say, "No" less, and "Yes" more. It kind of worked, until it didn't.

When I chose this, "less" for the month, I envisioned a month of fun and celebration. What my injury brought on was a lot of saying, "Yes," to medical appointments and, "Yes" to help doing everyday tasks (like carrying in groceries, carrying the grocery bags back out to the car, doing chores, etc.). It kind of stinks.

I did get a chance to say, "Yes" to a few fun things, though. I said, "Yes" to dinner with my husband after we got back from that fated race, even though it was late and downtown was mobbed. I said, "Yes" to establishing a morning coffee routine. [To me, caffeine is a vice, but apparently collagen might help with fracture recovery, so coffee with collagen is a frequent occurrence right now, instead of a sporadic pre-run supplement (Karaytug, 2021; Konig, 2018; Sun et al., 2025.] I said, "Yes" to my husband taking me to ride a ferris wheel for the first time. I did say, "No" to Dippin' Dots on that trip, though, which made me sad because although it did not sound good at the time, I have never had it before.

I said, "Yes" to taking on some roles I did not plan with my brother's wedding. Maybe that was me channeling big sister bossiness, but I hope my, "Yes" let them say a few more, "No's" and enjoy their special day. I said more, "No's" then I probably should have on that trip, but saying, "Yes" to every goodie that came my way (eg at the lavish rehearsal dinner) would have left me feeling ill. I guess their are some places to say, "No."

I said, "No" to sourdough during our San Francisco day, but then I got redemption when my husband asked again. (He claims he gave me some at the restaurant, but I don't think so). I didn't really want sourdough, but it was good to take a bite and remember that I like my husband's sourdough better.

My increasing number of medical appointments has forced me to say, "No" to work obligations and give up a few more of my responsibilities there. (Thankfully, my director is understanding.) While I would rather go on with life as it was, I have to step back in order to take care of myself. Needless to say, this month of less has not turned out as I hoped. 

I imagine that I will continue to need to say, "No" for the sake of my health and well-being, but even in that, there are probably rooms to say more, "Yes." Maybe I don't always want to say, "Yes" to all, things, but a few more yesses would probably benefit me. They could continue to expose me to new experiences, and bring me for joy. This month was practice in trying to stop defaulting to, "No." Maybe it could be "Let me think about it," or "Give me a minute." That would at least give me a chance at an experience versus always missing out....

References:

Karaytug, K., Arzu, U., Ergin, O. N., Bilgili, F., Unverengil, G., Bayram, S., & Sen, C. (2021). Effects of Collagen- and Arginine-Fortified Osteokine Supplementation on Fracture Healing. Cureus, 13(10), e19072. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.19072

König, D., Oesser, S., Scharla, S., Zdzieblik, D., & Gollhofer, A. (2018). Specific Collagen Peptides Improve Bone Mineral Density and Bone Markers in Postmenopausal Women-A Randomized Controlled Study. Nutrients, 10(1), 97. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu10010097

Sun, C., Yang, A., Teng, F., & Xia, Y. (2025). Efficacy of collagen peptide supplementation on bone and muscle health: a meta-analysis. Frontiers in nutrition, 12, 1646090. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnut.2025.1646090