The Bucket List Project (Re-Cap)

The year of 2018 is almost over, so I probably owe everyone an update on #thebucketlistproject. Let's just say it's been a year! I honestly didn't expect to accomplish my list (which is why I didn't post it originally), but I completed all but one item (#6) on my list, and had a few added blessings along the way. I also did several things on my list more than once. Hooray!

I don't need lists to live, I need Jesus, but having this list did motivate me to live more bravely and courageously. And that's what I needed. By God's grace, I'm trying to actually have a life. Read on for the actual items on my list and pictures to prove I accomplished them!

1) Visit brother and sister-in-law. 
2) Run a 5K with brother and sister-in-law. 
3) Cruise to the Bahamas. 
4) Attend a college friend's wedding. 

5) Hike Hotshots and Journey trails at Granite Mountain Hotshots Memorial State Park 
6) Hike the Grand Canyon. 
-Maybe next year?
7) Hike a new trail in Prescott (x 6). 
-Easter Island Trail
-Quartz Creek Trail
-Boulder Creek Trail 
-Goldwater West 
-Constellation trails 
-Clark Spring 
8) Attend a Diamondbacks game.

9) Get half-way to licensure hours (800/1600).
-Done as of September 2018
10) See a movie in the theater (x 2). 
-Forever My Girl 1/27/18
-I Can Only Imagine 3/24/18
11) Attend the Unshaken conference with Mom. 
12) Run in the Patriot Run. 
-I ran in the Butterfly Run instead.
13) Shop at the mall. 

I bought a pillow at JCPenney. It counts, okay!

14) Buy a new pair of jeans. 

Genetic Denims jeans from Poshmark.

15) Crochet a scarf for brother. 
16) Go on a date with Dad. 
-The Road Show 
17) Try a new cereal. 
-I made one.
-And I tried one.

18) Roast some nuts. 

Candied almonds from Budget Bytes

19) Go ice skating. 

20) Read a non-fiction book (biography). 
-Convicted by Jameel McGee and Andrew Collins 
21) Read a non-fiction book (self-help: x 10). 
-Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst 
-I Thought It Was Just Me by Brene Brown 
-You'll Get Through This by Max Lucado 
-Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado 
-Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown
-The Indwelling Life of Christ: All of Him in All of Me by Major W. Ian Thomas 
-Everybody Always by Bob Goff 8/12/18
-Beautifully Interrupted by Tessa Swanstrom Anderson
-Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist
22) Read a fiction book (x 3). 
-Brush of Wings by Karen Kingsbury 
-The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers 
-To The Moon and Back by Karen Kingsbury
23) Eat at a new restaurant in Prescott.

Spaghetti with spicy meat sauce at La Bruzza's 

24) Eat at a new restaurant in Prescott Valley.

Chili rellano and bean burrito at Casa Perez

25) Go to a new restaurant in Chino Valley. 
-Arturo's was part of my bucket list birthday weekend.
26) Go to a King and Country concert (x 2). 
27) Make more family meals (x 13).

My favorite meal was probably the butter chicken and naan I made with my little brother.

28) Sing on the worship team more (x 18). 
29) Memorize more Bible verses.
-Still working on Romans
30) Girls' weekend with my Ohio best friend 
-The cruise counts, right?!?

Here's to 2019 and all the adventures it will entail!

Saying No

Saying, "No," to things that disrupted my very structured way of life was never very hard for me. I liked the safety and control that saying, "No" gave me. I willingly turned down opportunities to get off the beaten path of life because the straight and narrow felt right (and I'm not talking morals here). But in this season of resettling, I've told myself that I need to start saying, "Yes" more. I need to start saying, "Yes," when people invite me to do things, even if it feels uncomfortable or the timing isn't "right." I need to start trying new things, things that I might not think I like. I need to be brave, take risks, sit with discomfort.

But in this season of saying, "Yes," I've realized that I still have to say, "No."  I have to say, "No" to extra work opportunities, even when they feel important. I have to say, "No," to service opportunities because they don't seem right for me.  I have to say, "No" to non-essential items on my to-do list, things that used to be important to me, like having a clean car, or trying to keep things "perfectly" organized. Sometimes I have to say, "No" to my preferred early bedtime or preparing and eating healthy food. I've certainly had to say, "No," to sitting at home on social media, which I enjoy, but really isn't that productive. Changing my, "No" to the unknown to a, "No" to the known feels unsafe and uncomfortable and scary. But it also feels right.

If life is about living, I need to to expect the unexpected, find joy in the journey, and give my scared yeses more and more often. It's kind of crazy that embracing life still means saying, "No," but hopefully those noes make room for the yeses that need to happen.

Scarf Number Three

What started out as one scarf has now become three. It was on my #bucketlistproject to make a scarf with my sister-in-law. But then I made another one for my best friend. And I figured I'd better make one for my other friend, too. I don't want to be unfair in my scarf giving!

No really, scarves are easy to make and different from my usual afghans and sometimes quicker (though not this one).

So without further ado, here's scarf number three:

As per the norm, I used Red Heart yarn. This is their blue color.

The pattern is Eve's Scarf from Pattern Paradise.

I'll probably move back to afghans soon, but are there any other types of projects I should try before I do? I'd welcome feedback in the comments section.

I'm Tired of Living Scared.

I am the oldest child in my family. I have a type A personality. I am competitive. I like to plan. I like to be in control of my life. I always try to keep myself safe. I'm not knocking my personality, but I'm realizing that it has kept me from really living life.

I started the #bucketlistproject this year to try to force myself to get out of my comfort zone, to do things I've always wanted to do, but haven't. So far, I've gotten through all but about six of my thirty items. But I must confess that each time, I've wanted to back out. I haven't wanted to take the trip, stay up late, feel tired, take risks, or experience pain. I still feel anxious about the routines I have to sacrifice and change to accomplish the rest of my bucket list. But you know what? I'm tired of living scared.

I'm tired of being scared to miss a workout for fear that I'll lose endurance and mobility and not be able to do what I want to do in the future.

I'm tired of not eating new or "unhealthy" foods for fear of getting sick or feel unwell.

I'm tired of skipping out on fun events because I fear disrupting my sleep schedule.

I'm tired of not asking questions because I fear people's responses.

I'm tired of hiding my true self because I fear how others will receive me.

I'm tired of missing out on life.

The ironic thing about living scared is that it hasn't really made me any safer. I've still had injuries and illness and accidents and relationship struggles. I keep a "perfect" schedule and still struggle to sleep. And no matter what I've done, I've never really been in control.

In the Old Testament, God said to the leader Joshua, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Josh 1:9, New International Version). I'm not about to go off make rash decisions or take unneeded risks, but since God is with me, I think I've decided that I'd rather live than stay safe. I'm 30 and I only have so many years on this earth. I might as well live and see where life takes me instead of staying stuck in fear.

I'm tired of living scared. I'm ready to live free.

Summer in Arizona

Summer is my favorite season. Why? There's sun and heat and hiking and good eats and so much more. I've written plenty of serious posts lately, so I thought I'd use today to give you a taste of what it's like to summer in Arizona.

Fire. Be fire-wise in Arizona, but also be forewarned that fires are part of our lives. They serve their purpose in clearing out death and decay, but they are also very dangerous. This fire was close to our home, but thankfully got put out quickly.

The rodeo.

And the rodeo parade. We have the World's Oldest Rodeo in Prescott, and going to it each year is a major tradition in my family.

Hiking. The lakes are low, but they are still beautiful.

Concerts. No, I'm not a King and Country roadie, but I have seen them twice this year.

Sunrises.

And sunsets. Days are long and hot here in the summer, but the mornings and evenings make it all worth it.

Cantaloupe. A refreshing treat on hot days.

And cookouts. Because why cook inside when you can leave the heat outdoors?

Fourth of July. We had no fireworks this year due to the drought, but I had my own two candles to celebrate year two in Arizona.

Monsoons look like they're starting to come. They aren't my favorite, but we do need the moisture.

Summers in Arizona are no doubt kind of crazy, but that's the way things go. There's a reason I call my Instagram My Arizona Adventure! Life is an adventure, and I'm thankful for it.

Bucket List Birthday Weekend

I only turn 30 once, right? So I might as well live it up. I took a day off work on Friday and decided to try to cross quite a few more items off my bucket list. I feel pretty successful and very grateful. 

Here's a recap of the weekend:

Friday, May 4th

Hiking the Hotshots and Journey Trails with Mom:

These trails are at the Granite Mountain Hotshots Memorial State Park and are a tribute to the 19 firefighters who lost their lives five years ago protecting the town of Yarnell.

The trail was 6.5 miles total, but pretty challenging. 

The views were gorgeous.

The memorials were sobering.

Thanks to all who did and do serve in a firefighting capacity.

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Cooking dinner for the family:

The best weeknight pasta sauce (recipe from Budget Bytes) over spaghetti, with sides of  broccoli and cauliflower and garlic bread

Saturday, May 5th

Prescott Home Tour with Mom: This was my Mother's Day gift to Mom, but I enjoyed it, too!

We dressed alike for a mother-daughter photo

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Dinner at Arturo's:(I wanted to go to Prescott, but then remembered that it was Whiskey Row Marathon weekend. Mom suggested going to Chino Valley, and trying a restaurant there was on my list for this year, so I was like, "Sold!")

My new standard order for Mexican is chili rellano. This was served with beans and rice.

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After dinner, I had a birthday card and gift opening extravaganza.

I cleaned up a little afterwards....

Thanks to all who sent cards, and wishes, and gifts for my birthday. I felt so loved!

The Big 3-0!

Well, it's May 5 again and the date of my "big" birthday. Am I finally an adult now? No one really believes that I'm 30, but whatever. My birth certificate proves I am.

And now, on to the year in review.

My three favorites from the year:

1) My new job: Hard as it is, I'm finally doing what I trained to do. Lord, help me do my job with grace and strength!

(No, I don't play in the sand every day, but I do engage in sand tray sometimes. This was a tray I created in supervision.)

2) Traveling! Yes, I actually left the state to this year, three times in fact! First, I went to Kansas for my cousin's wedding. Then I visited littlest brother in Wisconsin, and more recently I went to Texas to run the Fresh 15 5K with my brother and sister-in-law.

3) King and Country: Maybe it wasn't the best concert experience ever, but I did it and checked another item off my bucket list.

My Goals for Year 29:

How'd I do? Ehh. I'm working on it, I guess. I have been trying to cook more. I've discovered that I really want chocolate most mornings at breakfast, so I've been having it, usually in the form of chocolate oatmeal or hot chocolate. I stopped being so vegetarian and started eating more meat because it just worked better for me. I'm eating what sounds good even when it sounds ridiculous, like the other night when I had chicken salad and green peas for a bedtime snack. Food isn't the end all, be all, but it's nice when it is satisfying.

My sleep got a little better, as I focused on it more all the times I was sick. But recently it's been not so great. I wonder if the changing of seasons has something to do with it, seeing that I'm waking up at 4 am again.

I've played around with exercise a little bit. I've taken a few more days off due to tiredness and sickness. I got a FitBit watch and am trying to move more during the work day. I'd like to be stronger and healthier, but this is the body I've got, so I need to be grateful for what I can do and not lament what I can't. And I still need to learn to listen to my body more.

My Goals for Year 30:

I'm working on my #bucketlistproject. Those are my specific goals for 2018. In the next year of life, I guess I'd say that I more globally want to:

1) Get better at my job. I need to attend trainings and apply what I learn. That's often a challenge in the fast-paced, ever-changing work world, but it's possible.

2) Stress less. I stress a lot. I really need to get better at managing my own stress so that I can achieve goals one and three.

3) Live life. I'm bad about letting stress and tiredness steal my joy. I need to let those things go and live as much as I can. Certain things are out of my control, like getting married or finding a house I can afford. But I can live in the moment, enjoy what I have, and keep reaching out to find new experiences and relationships.

And that's a wrap. Any comments or suggestions about my goals? What goals did you, or do you have for year 30? Please share in the comments section.

Be Bold. Be Brave. Be Daring.

My word for 2018 is Brave. (Or at least that's what my Dayspring Word of Truth quiz said.) As a type A perfectionist, being brave is hard, but the #bucketlistproject is teaching me to do it more and more. 

Time flies fast and life is taxing. There are few "good" time to do the things I want to do. I'm often tired and exhausted or don't feel well and would rather sleep or introvert than actually go out and live. (That sounds pretty awful, but I'm afraid it's often true.) There is a time and place for rest, but there are also times and places for risk.

Like eating the delicious ice cream even if it might not make me feel the best later on.

Or staying up late to see King and Country.

Or cutting loose from work early to take a flight to see my brother and sister-in-law.

Or deciding to go for a hike with Mom on Saturday even when it has been a long week.

There is a delicate balance between bravery and risk. And self-care is certainly important. But I'm realizing that for me, self-care requires me to be a little less perfectionistic and a little more brave.

Don't do stupid things, friends. But do make the decision to live now, not later. And if that means taking a few more risks, being a little more bold, being a little more brave, and daring more, DO IT! You only have one life to live.

Convicted (Book Review)

I'm working on my #bucketlistproject, and I completed the reading portion of the list with reading a biography/autobiography/memoir. I'd heard about or seen this book somewhere, and felt compelled to read it, so I ordered in off good old Amazon and dug in.

Convicted: A Crooked Cop, An Innocent Man, and an Unlikely Journey of Forgiveness and Friendship by Jameel McGee and Andrew Collins tells a story that seems too good to be true, but it is not. It's real life. The book, as told from both Jameel's and Andrew's viewpoints, reads like a first hand story, giving perspective from both men. There are a few times it feels a little forced, like when Andrew tells about giving his testimony to Jameel the first time they met after prison, but maybe that is real life, too. After all, Andrew is now an ordained pastor working with Young Life.

I do think the title of the book is a bit of an oversell. Jameel was not completely innocent, and Andrew was not a completely crooked cop. Jameel made some poor choices that caused him to "get the book thrown at [him]" when Andrew falsely arrested him. Andrew clearly states that his pride and arrogance led him down a road that led him to accuse Jameel of something he didn't do, but that he had good intentions with her career as a cop. Those issues aside, the book is powerful, both from individual and relational perspectives. God pursued Jameel for years, but Jameel did not always pursue God. At Jameel's lowest point in prison, however, he had an encounter with God. "I...started listening to God" He writes (p. 108). "I listened to what he had said to me with the Bible verses and with the three little words that kept running through my head: Let it go. Finally, I chose to do just that. I let it go. I gave my anger and my desire for revenge over to him. All of it." Jameel did get released from prison early, but he didn't go on to have an easy life. He went on to homelessness and illness and still wanting to harm Andrew. God kept speaking, "Let it go," to him, however, and in a beautiful moment shared at the end of the book, it is Jameel who is speaking these words to Andrew. God truly did reconcile Jameel to himself, and to his brother in Christ, Andrew. (Read Colossians 1:20 about God's overwhelming ability to enact reconciliation).

Andrew is harsh on himself in this book. He did wrong, and he's brutally honest about it. He didn't reach out to God until he thought he might go to prison, and then he did get incarcerated. He feared losing his marriage, and his wife stuck with him, but it wasn't easy. He feared returning to his community and wanted to run, but he did not. Andrew stayed in his community, and then he found out he had imprisoned an innocent man, something he did not think he had done. The pain just kept on coming. Sure, he had "cooked the books," to get arrests, but he had always thought he'd sent the guilty away. Jameel was innocent. With the pain of confronting Andrew's past, however, came healing. Seeing him struggle to forgive himself, and forgive people who had hurt him is powerful. Reading about Jameel's role in setting an example of forgiveness is extraordinary.

This book is not perfect, but neither is real life. That is why I highly recommend this book. It issues a call to readers to be reconciled to God, and to each other. It shows that reconciliation between races (Jameel is black and Andrew is white, though they do not talk about that differences much) and between victims and aggressors is possible. If readers finish this story and are not convicted about the power of forgiveness, they might need to ask if they are being honest about their own struggles and failures. Nobody is perfect. We are all convicted to death for our sins. That is why we all need forgiveness and friendship, and from Jesus Christ most of all!

Easter Island Trail

The week was so long and we were so tired that we almost didn't hike, but then we did. (That's the point of the #bucketlistproject, to live now, not later.) Mom and I had seen an article about Easter Island Trail in our local newspaper and immediately wanted to do it. We had to put it off until the appropriate time, however. The Saturday we chose turned out beautiful with sunshine, but a chilly wind that helped us stay cool as the day warmed.

We walked the Peavine Trail to get to the trailhead. Right away, Mom stopped me with a hand on my arm and said, "Look, look!" There was a herd of deer running down by the lake. The lake is super low right now and I have been on this trail several times, but not seen deer, so this was a special sight.

Going a little bit further, we saw some white birds. Mom whipped out her binoculars and saw that the birds were swans! I have never seen swans in Prescott either, but apparently they exist.

It was about a mile and a half to the trail head.

At that point we cut off and started the switchbacks. These were easy switchbacks, but enough to get our hearts pumping. The trail had lots of great overlooks.

 The rock formations were pretty fantastic. (The rock formations are the reason for the Easter Island name.)

We also saw some beautiful flora and fauna along the way. We don't have a lot of green in Arizona, but the cacti are pretty beautiful when they flower.

The way the rocks are stacked in the Dells reinforces my belief in a worldwide flood.

We cut off Easter Island Trail to Quartz Creek Trail. We saw this line of quartz going through the granite and then almost every stone became quartz. It was so cool that I forgot to take a picture of that part of the trail!

We walked back to Peavine trail via Boulder Creek. 

In total, we walked almost five miles.

It was a good hike, but not too tiring that we couldn't go grocery shopping afterwards. 

I had it on my bucket list to hike one new trail this year, and technically I hiked three with this adventure. I was healthy and Mom came with me, so this hike was a quintuple win in my book! Thanks Over the Hill Gang and Prescott Parks and Recreation for the work they put into this new trail.