Arizona: Year Two

I've made it two years, y'all. I've gotten a few funny looks lately when I've expressed my excitement about the anniversary of my move to Arizona, and that's okay. They don't get it. These past two years have wrecked me, in good ways, but in hard ways.

Work: If you had told me in grad school that I'd spending close to fifty hours a week helping kids, I would have said you were crazy. I fought against my elementary school internship placement. I asked the community clinic to only give me teenagers and adults. I didn't take the play therapy training classes offered to me. And now I have a birth to five year-old case load. You'll find me outside throwing a football more than you'll find me in an office. I'm now taking play therapy and sand tray classes. And I'm growing to love what I do. Go figure.

Church: I came home to Arizona partly because my family belonged to a strong church. And it's fallen apart. The brokenness of the people that make up the church has become apparent and though we are pursuing healing, it is messy. We are currently without a pastor and our body has decreased to about a third of the size. But we're still together and the Word is being preached. Thanks be to God.

Family: I planned to live with my parents only long enough to set up my own independent life, but here I am two years later still living at home. It's been hard, but good. I have found a lot of healing in relating to my parents as adults. I've been forced to let some of my perfectionism go and recognize that relationship matters more than having a perfect house or an ideal life. If God ever sees fit for me to get married and have a family of my own, this has been good training.

Worship team: I sang in choir growing up and never thought I'd sing on stage. But I've found community in worship team and you'll find me on the platform a few times a month singing, but for God's glory and not my own.

Car: I thought I knew what I wanted and fought against Dad's suggestions. But I drove the car I liked and it wasn't what I thought. Now I'm back to Dad's suggestions. In fact, I am supposed to get that new car Dad suggested today. My dad is a smart man.

Community: I've expected community to come to me, but I'm learning that I've got to go to it. Relationships aren't one sided. I've met a lot of cool people here, but it takes a lot of intentional effort to connect. Connecting means being honest and vulnerable and belonging to myself above all else. It's hard work.

Health: My health struggles have reminded me that I am human and not invincible. Though I am thankful that my conditions are not fatal, they are frustrating. Dystonia is yet another way that God is sanding off my rough edges. I didn't choose it, but God has allowed it into my life for some reason.

I still have goals in life, but I'm trying to hold them loosely. As God takes what I have known and breaks it all apart, He reveals His bigger and grander and more beautiful plan. And You, my God are greater still.