Self-Control and Self-Care: Not Mutually Exclusive

I have heard several things about how self-control is punitive and that what we need instead is self-care. I don't think self-control and self-care have to be mutually exclusive, though. Sometimes I think that we have to practice self-control (a fruit of the Spirit) to have appropriate self-care. Maybe the issue lies within definition of the terms.

What is self-control? According to the Bible, it is part of the fruit of the Spirit, demonstration that the Holy Spirit lives within a person and controls the person (Gal 5:23). The Greek Word here refers to mastery of desires and passions, that is, saying , "No" to the wrong, and "Yes" to the right. (Blue Letter Bible, n.d.). Psychology defines self-control simply as "the ability to manage one's impulses, emotions, and behaviors to achieve long-term goals" (Psychology Today Staff, n.d.). There is less moral distinction here, stating that self-control just helps a person make choices that benefit him or her long-term. Either way, self-control requires decision and action.

What is self-care? The Bible does not reference self-care specifically. It does encourage believers to care for self and others, though (Faith Filled Food for Moms, n.d.). Self-care is more of a mental health term defined as "the practice of individuals looking after their own health using the knowledge and information available to them" (Global Self-Care Federation, 2023). In this way, self-care is self-tending.

The Interrelationship. The definitions of self-control and self-care overlap in the area of decision making. Some bloggers, podcasters, and writers disagree, though. Paige Schmidt (2017) does not say that the two are mutually exclusive, but portrays self-control in a pejorative sense, saying that "Self-care refuels you and gives you MORE energy and self-control drains you and takes AWAY your energy." Be the Change (2021) says something similar. Using self-control to do things that are not beneficial is negative for one's health. But using self-control to practice good things (eg sleep hygiene, good nutrition, etc.) might be necessary for self-care.

If we define self-control negatively, as in forcing oneself to do something the person does not want to do, that might not benefit the person's mental health. As Kris (n.d.) says, "When we force our bodies into a state that is unnatural and potentially even detrimental...our body [and I might add, soul and spirit] will retaliate." If self-control is done positively, as in saying, "No" to behaviors that drain the person, and "Yes" to filling and energizing behaviors, the two might go together. As Mistie (2017) writes in Simply Convivial, sometimes we need discipline, to "replace [old habits with new, better habits, and] redirect our minds to right ruts rather than bad ones." That self-discipline might include the decision-making of self-control.

Not Mutually Exclusive. Fueled by Holy Spirit wisdom, I believe that self-control and self-care go together. In fact, I think they need to go together. We need wisdom to practice appropriate self-control in ways that help, rather than hurt. We need wisdom to care of ourselves appropriately, in ways that equip us to live healthy lives rather than enable us to continue in unhealthy habits. Self-control and self-care. Let's pursue them both for the good of ourselves and the glory of God.

References:

Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon :: Strong's G1466 - egkrateia. https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1466/esv/mgnt/0-1/

Faith Filled Food for Moms. (n.d.). 22 awesome scriptures for practicing self-care -- Free printable. https://www.faithfilledfoodformoms.com/22-awesome-scriptures-to-know-for-practicing-self-care/

Global Self-Care Federation. (2023). What is self-care? https://www.selfcarefederation.org/what-is-self-care

Kris. (n.d.). Choosing self care over self control. Healthy Mama Kris. https://healthymamakris.com/choosing-self-care-over-self-control/

Mistie. (2017, December 13). Simple Convivial. Repent. Rejoice. Repeat. https://simplyconvivial.com/2017/self-control-self-care/

Psychology Today Staff. (n.d.). Self-control. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-control

Schmidt, P. (2017, April 19). The difference between self-care and self-control. Live Brightly. https://www.paigeschmidt.com/the-difference-between-self-care-and-self-control/

Dispelling the Myths: Runners Can Eat Whatever They Want.

Runners can eat whatever they want. 

You run a lot. 

That's how you stay so thin. 

False. False. False. If running a half-marathon taught me anything (it taught me a lot of things), it taught me even more the importance of nutrition. And I'm talking eating right, eating a lot, and eating to run, not running to eat.

I found out very quickly that running made me, hungry very hungry. I sometimes tried to practice "self-control," but then I kept reading about how running can damage your hormones, lower your immunity, create injury, etc. if I didn't eat right. So I ate. A lot. Like handfuls of granola and nuts after my morning bowl of oatmeal. Like lots of red meat. (Thanks to reading Run Fast, Eat Slow.) Like protein bars and gels, which I know can "make you fat," (but they didn't-they gave me energy). I decided that even if I did eat so much I gained weight, I'd rather gain weight and run than not run and not gain weight. (Running is good for my mental health, I've found.)

I wanted to eat sugar, but it seemed to lower my immunity and made me feel yucky. So I turned to whole food and more savory stuff. I sometimes wanted to skip carbs, but that didn't work so well, so I added in more carbs. I often stayed up late eating a big nighttime snack to make sure my belly was full and ready to run the next morning. I found out the hard way that I needed to stay on top of my long run hunger (e.g. eat on a schedule/before I was hungry) to avoid an all out binge. I ate when I didn't want to and sometimes to the point of feeling overfull, because I knew I needed it. And on the day I ran my half-marathon, I ate more than I think I've ever eaten before, but I did it because my body kept telling me it was hungry, so I knew I needed the fuel.

Can runners eat whatever they want? I'd argue not. Does running make you thin? I'd argue no in that case, too. In fact, my predisposition to being thin makes me a worse runner in some ways because I have less muscle and no fat stores to use as a reserve for days of extra miles.

So let's dispel the myth that most runners run to eat. Maybe some do. I don't. I eat to run. Extra hunger and the chance to indulge is maybe nice sometimes, but overall, running is about taking better care of myself. And that means eating better. Sometimes more. Sometimes less, but more focused on nutrients and having good energy overall. Otherwise my running is not going to get better. And I, as long as the Lord allows, want to keep progressing in this sport if I can.