"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I always took this verse to mean that I needed to serve others more than myself. In my younger days, I would sometimes take it to an extreme of being a martyr or an ascetic. I sometimes thought I should be less feeling and more of a doormat for people.
As I've grown in my faith and in my work as a counselor, however, I've realized that the way I feel about myself affects how I treat others. When I feel less than, not good enough, or down, I am less likely to see the needs of others. I feel less love in my heart. I am more irritable and easily angered. I am susceptible to anxiety. I perceive the actions of others toward me as more negative. I tend to be unforgiving and bitter.
Conversely, when I know who I am in Christ, when I accept my identity as a beloved child of God for whom Christ died, I have more love in my heart for others. I forgive more easily. I am happier and more able to spread joy. I can serve better.
I'm not promoting self-aggrandizing pride or narcissism or egoism, but I am challenging myself to consider where I'm at when I don't like how I'm interacting with others. Often, I need to examine my heart to see what's internally wrong and resulting in externally wrong actions. I need to ask Christ to ground my heart and cleanse me of my sin. I need to ask for Holy Spirit power to forgive myself. I need to feel God's love so I can give it to others.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
For me, that means treating myself with the care that Christ does, so that I can then go out into the world and treat others as close to how Christ would treat them as I can. I'm a perfectionist, but certainly not perfect, after all. This is why the way I treat myself needs to be grounded in my God-given identity, not in how "good enough" I feel on any given day.
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