The Answer

The answer isn't more hate. The answer isn't more love. The answer is Jesus. Full-stop. Period. End of story. Only Jesus can put to death hostilities by nailing them to the cross (Eph 2:16). Only Jesus can rectify and redeem all the injustices of the world. Only Jesus can save.

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Jesus is the Savior. Jesus is the answer. He's where I am putting all my hope.

Eats and Empties (Week 37)

  

The Eats:

Asian chicken "stir fry" with ramen (Meal Prep in an Instant)-frozen for the future

Banana oatmeal bites (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Cozy white beans and greens soup (How Sweet Eats)

Easy buttermilk cornbread (Cafe Delites)

Easy gravy (Health My Lifestyle)

Healthy banana brownies (The Conscious Plant Kitchen)

Homemade ketchup without sugar (A Sweet Pea Chef)-Frozen for future use

Honey garlic chicken bowls (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Instant Pot apple cider (Real Food Deals)

Peach and strawberry cobbler (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

Sourdough discard rosemary salt bagels (This Jess Cooks)

Southwest breakfast casserole (Meal Prep in an Instant)

The Empties:

Avocado
A whole cantaloupe
Five pound bag of carrots
Box of chicken broth
Fresh corn on the cob
Bag of frozen corn

Container of Greek yogurt
Head of iceberg lettuce
Bunch of kale
The rest of that half gallon of milk that soured
Mushrooms
Can of onion powder
Quinoa
Fresh peaches
Jar of Costco peanut butter
Two pound bag of frozen peas
Orange bell pepper
Five pound bag of potatoes
Can of pumpkin
Red bell pepper
Box of ramen
Head of romaine lettuce
Frozen sourdough protein pancakes with whole wheat (For the Pleasure of Eating)
Bag of baby spinach
Can of tomato paste
Fifteen ounce can of tomato sauce 

What went to waste:   

A peach that rotted from the inside out--I wanted to try to salvage it, but could not bring myself to it.

A clove of garlic rotted?

Real Life Marriage: I Want You to Have Nice Things!

I balked when my husband wanted to buy me a Mac laptop. He had already bought me a (cheaper) Dell laptop, but when the screen broke within a year, he insisted on buying me a higher quality product. I don't like spending lots of money. I don't like spending lots of money on me. Though I am high maintenance emotionally, I think I pride myself on being lower maintenance when it comes to things, or at least I thought I was.

My husband insisted on buying the Mac laptop, and inside of fighting him, I decided to submit and let him do it. I had a sense that if I fought him, I'd end up continually frustrated with my broken Dell (which would adversely affect him), or inevitably end up with another device that would last a short amount of time and then check out on us.

Many years past that point, I am really thankful he bought me the Mac. I have taken it on trips. I have used it for hours without power. I have watched videos and uploaded tons of photos. I took it on our cruise. It has held up. I am so thankful!

I rarely get a chance to buy nice things for my husband, but I have been asking him for a while if I could help him buy some better running shoes. Several years into my shoe journey, I have found that shoes make a big difference, and I wanted my husband to experience the difference, too! While he did not exactly let me pick out his new shoes, he did end up settling on a brand and model that I have and enjoy, and that made me very happy! As he received his shoes and started asking me questions about them, I felt joy swell inside me. And I thought, I think I am starting to get it. When you love someone, you want them to have nice things!

Nice things are not always feasible. There are many things I would like to buy my husband that do not fit into the budget. When we get the opportunity to help each other have nice things though, there is a lot of joy in that. Maybe rejoicing in nice shoes is a sign of getting older, but hey, it is love in all its glory, and I will take it!

Eats and Empties (Week 36)

The Eats:

Banana oatmeal bites (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Best gravy (Brand New Vegan)

High protein Mexican street corn pasta salad (Rachl Mansfield)

Low country boil (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

Oat bagels (Oats Everyday)

Pumpkin protein muffins (The Clean Eating Couple)

Sourdough discard bagels (Farmhouse on Boone)

Sourdough discard strawberry bagels (This Jess Cooks)

Strawberry chia jam (My PCOS Kitchen)

Strawberry muffins (Hummusapien)

Tuna cakes (Just is a Four Letter Word)

The Empties:

Package of andouille sausage
Jar of applesauce
Bag of cheese sticks
Cilantro
A dozen eggs
Container of Greek yogurt
Green onions
Honeydew melon
Head of iceberg lettuce
Lemon
Old onions (some chopped and frozen for later use)
Plums
Can of pumpkin (yes, 'tis the season!)
Head of romaine lettuce
Bottle of lime juice
Half gallon of milk
Frozen onion
Orange bell pepper
Plums
Five pound bag of potatoes
Bottle of pumpkin pie spice
Red bell pepper
Two pounds of shrimp
Bag of split peas
Bottle of dried thyme
Pound of ground turkey
Two cans of tuna
Bottle of vegetable oil
Zatarain's crawfish, shrimp, & crab boil in a bag

What went to waste:   

A few leaves of the iceberg lettuce that browned, but overall, no major loss!

The end of our second half gallon of milk soured, but I will try to use it up if I can!

Everything I Read in August

Once again this month, I was a slower reader and more of an audiobook listener, but...I did fit in some good end of summer books. I am proud of myself and thankful for that. Here's what I listened to and read this month:

70) Street God by Dimas Salaberrios with Dr. Angela Hunt—Think of this book as a modern Run Baby, Run meets Cross and the Switchblade! Written in his own words, this is the story of Dimas Salaberrios, a middle class youth born to unmarried parents, who started dealing drugs at age 11, went on to be a big kingpin, and then came to Jesus. I listened to this as an audiobook while running, and honestly, I am not sure I could have read it, because it was intense. I am talking about very violent experiences, hard drugs, demon possession, and exorcism. Dimas talks about his "trial and error" sanctification, his overseas missions, his church planting under Tim Keller, and more. This is a true, "come to Jesus" book, charismatic and convicting, about a man who wanted to become a street God, and instead took God to the streets. I am unclear what Salaberrios is doing now, but his story is a testimony worth hearing or reading!

71) The Best Summer of Our Lives by Rachael Hauck- With four main characters and times alternating between 20 years in the past and the present, it took me a little bit to get into the story, and then a little while longer to get people and places straight (or at least mostly). After that, I was engrossed in the story of the Four Seasons (Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Snow), best friends relegated to serve as counselors at Camp Tumbleweed the summer before their transition into college. When they couldn't have the best summer of their lives, they vowed to give their campers the best summer of theirs. Along the way, they faced lies, truths, spiritual questions, and even some danger. The author weaves the story together in truly heartwarming ways, and with literary devices that I can only attribute to writing genius. She does it all while pointing to the constant, never-ending friendship of Jesus, too. I think this truly is the best book I have read all summer!

72) The Song by Chris Fabry—Think of this as Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, but where the male character is the struggling one. Based off the movie by the same name (which I have not seen), this is the story of Jed King, son of musician David King, a man who vows to forgo his father's sins, but then falls right back into them. Parts of the story seem a little bit cheesy (like the names), and I would say the plot's crisis resolves a bit too quickly. Overall, though, the book was poignant and powerful. I especially appreciated the almost seamless integration of passages from Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, and Song of Solomon. Not exactly a biblical retelling, but a story that incorporates biblical truth, this is a story I enjoyed reading. It is edgy, but not inappropriate, and ultimately testifies to the power of God's love and redemption, songs all believers need sung over them again and again.

73) Let’s All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have by Annie F. Downs—This is classic Annie F. Downs writing: personal, easy to read, entertaining and poignant. In this book, written from various coffee shops around the world, Downs shares moments when she had to be brave in her life. She was brave when she stayed to work at a college campus ministry, brave when she packed up and moved to Nashville, and then to Scotland, and back. She shares her reticence to take these brave steps and testifies to how God supported her all along the way. She challenges readers to take courage from God, be brave, and do the next right thing. Although I did not find anything in this book earth-shatteringly unique, I did find the book prompting of some introspective thought. With as quickly and easily as this book's pages passed, I would say it is worth a few days to read this book and get encouraged about living bravely from a woman who has done it herself, many times over.

74) Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.—Stress is not bad, but too much of it is. In this book, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour explores the rising sources of stress for girls, and the anxiety that can result. Not all anxiety is bad, she states, but it is bad when it become overwhelming and paralyzing. Covering issues like academics, gender, and stress, Damour uses composite stories to bring to life to the struggles of girls, along with her clinical expertise about how to handle these issues. Written for the every person (though I listened to this book via audio), and perhaps every parent, this book documents the role that adults have in helping normalize everyday stress and reduce pathological stress. The end goal is to help girls face stress well, bravely, because under pressure, carbon produces diamonds. 

75) Freefall to Fly: A Breathtaking Journey to a Life of Meaning by Rebekah Lyons—Rebekah Lyons thought that moving to New York City with her family would be an adventure. Instead, it became a freefall into anxiety, and a search for meaning. In the end, she learned about surrender and trust in God. Although I didn't agree with quite everything Lyons writes, and don't think that everyone has the luxury of freefalling to find purpose, I think it is valuable to think about who God made me to be and surrendering to it. This book is both personal and philosophical, convicting and compassionate. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook of it.

76) On a Summer Tide by Suzanne Woods Fisher—I had a hard time getting into this book. I dipped my toe in, but then it was just slow swimming. Paul Grayson spends his retirement income to buy Three Sisters Island and Camp Kicking Moose, the place where he met his wife. He hopes to enlist the help of his three daughters: Camden (Cam), Maddie, and Blaine, but they aren't having it, until they get to the island and sense some of its charm. There are some sub-characters and subplots that really deserve some mention: Captain Ed and his lobster, Peg Legg and her restaurant/store, schoolteacher Seth Walker, and Cam's son Cooper and his ball of string. When I step back and look at the book from that angle, it really is well crafted. It also has sweet lessons about family, forgiveness, and love. I would say that the tide had pulled me in by story's end, but then getting the next book required a hold. Will I read more in this series or will the waters ebb out before the next book comes in? We shall see....

77) Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith From Fear by Jinger Vuolo with Corey Williams—Jinger Vuolo grew up a Duggar, indoctrinated into abiding by the tenets of the Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP), as taught by Bill Gothard. Then she and her sister Jessa married godly men who encouraged them to seek understanding of God through the Bible, and that changed everything. In this book, Vuolo unpacks lies that she believed under Gothard and biblical truths that set her free. She bravely shares the fear-based religion she practiced under Gothard and how she has disentangled her faith from it, rather than deconstructing her faith. This book reads more like a devotional than a tell-all and is filled with Scripture. I applaud Vuolo for writing it and pray that she and others who grew up under the IBLP continue to find freedom through faith in the Jesus of the Bible.

78) Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike by Phil Knight—Not quite a memoir, not totally a business book; part story and part philosophy, this is Phil Knight’s tale of building Nike. From being a boomerang kid with a master’s degree and an interest in war history, to a world traveler who started Blue Ribbon shoes somewhat on a whim, to building his company, Knight sure had a ride, and not without challenges. He nearly went bankrupt several times. He endured lawsuits. He had enemies. He admits time and time again that he worked too hard and didn’t give his family enough time. This was an engaging read, but also one that saddened me some, in that it reads like Ecclesiastes, pointing to all the important, but meaningless toil it takes to build a business. In the end, Knight writes about trying to find meaning, but it rings hollow. Though the Alberto Salazar controversy (and other mistreatment of Nike athletes) keeps me from being a fan of the brand, this book does give me empathy for Phil Knight, as well as respect. He built an empire, even if it’s one of shoes that will, in the end, fall.

79) On a Coastal Breeze by Suzanne Woods Fisher—The hold came in pretty quick, so I continued reading about Paul, Cam, Blaine, and Maddie Grayson as they navigate life on Three Sisters Island. There are really meaningful parts of the story, about fear and forgiveness and love. Cam and Seth finally figure things out. Maddie resolves some pain from the past with the arrival of childhood classmate Ricky O'Shea. Blaine continues to search for meaning. I liked the story, and somehow it still seemed to lack some nuance and death. I plan to read the third book, but I am just really not sure what I think of this author/series.

80) Getting Good at Being You: Learning to Love Who God Made You to Be By Lauren Alaina—I was not sure about this book when I started listening to it, as it seemed to be all about self-love. As the book went on, however, I came to enjoy learning Alaina's (runner-up on American Idol) story. She wraps up the book well, too, encouraging people to serve others and be who God made them to be. Read by the author, this was an enjoyable (reasonably) short audiobook that left me with some feel-good feelings.

Strong(er) in August

No pull-up gains this month, but I did go up one more pound in the dumbbells I used for strength training. No, it is not a lot, but it is something, and I will take it. Although I still an't do a pull-up, I think I might be gaining a little bit of strength, as push-ups seem a little bit easier, and like I am doing them more fully. I have committed to eating more protein in this season, but it is just hard to gain muscle when I am training to gain strength to hit my running goals.

On the running front, I did switch to a new training plan this season. I bought the 30 day core challenge from Run to the Finish and have been working through it instead of doing my daily physical therapy exercises. I have had the return of some foot pain, though, so after this 30 days I am likely to return to what works. With the heat and my strength, I am not hitting the prescribed paces in my new training plan, but I am trying and that takes some mental strength. I will take it and thank God for it.

Our marriage weathered another air conditioning outage this month. Thankfully, my husband is just working one job this time. (Our air went out three years ago when he was also in school.) It was not pleasant, but we survived (in part thanks to my hairdresser, who loaned us their portable swamp cooler). We continue with our devotions, and we have even fit in a few fun date days (a culinary day and a paint by numbers day). Quality time helps fill my love tank, which gives me more bandwidth to weather trials like the air conditioning outage. An addition to our Sunday routine has been couples yoga or stretching after our walk around town. That has been a fun way to connect, and I think that having fun together also strengthens our marriage.

Spiritually, I am sticking with my same routine. I am not sure if that makes me stronger or just maintains strength. Either way, I will take it.

I guess that is the theme of stronger this month: I will take it. While the limits of my strength are finite, God's are infinite, and for that I praise God and look forward to the next month of growing stronger in the life that He has given me.

Eats and Empties (Week 35)

The Eats:

Easy honey buns-adapted from an Instagram recipe I saw here with honey glaze (Simply TaraLynn)

Hummus for us (Easy Vegetarian Slow Cooker) 

Sourdough pizza (The Perfect Loaf)

The Empties:

Five pound bag of carrots
Costco container of cinnamon
Dijon mustard
Carton of a dozen eggs
Two containers of Greek yogurt
Jar of mayonnaise
Half gallon of milk
Jug of olive oil
Bag of Parmesan cheese
Old container of pea protein powder
Five pound bag of potatoes

Nectarines
Head of romaine lettuce
Homemade mozzarella cheese (Simmer and Sage)

Two 28 ounce cans of crushed tomatoes
Two cans of tomato paste

Box of rotini pasta
Twenty-eight ounce can of whole tomatoes
Pound of ground turkey
All that whey from last week

What went to waste:   

Just a bit of some iceberg lettuce, but we composted it!

A Prayer for the Everyday

A Prayer for the Everyday

By Sarah Earles

Guide me in the everyday,

I pray:

In the rising,

in the resting,

in the waking

in the doing

in the shopping

in the work

in the eating

in the cleaning

in the running

in the stretching

in the loving

in the losing

in the morning

in the evening

in the mid-afternoon

in the twilight

in the words

in the wisdom

in the speaking

in the listening

in the reading

in the prayer.

Guide me Spirit, everyday

I pray.

Eats and Empties (Week 34)

 

The Eats:

Basic cornbread (Little House Living)

Best lentil soup (Cookie and Kate)

Black bean and quinoa bowl (thrown together from black beans, cheese, leftover pickled jalapenos, leftover quinoa, and salsa; and topped with an egg!)

Chicken and vegetable risotto (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Gravy (Macrostax)

Quinoa (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Pesto (My Quiet Kitchen)-frozen for future use

Protein breakfast bowls (Two Raspberries)

Protein peanut butter (Nadia's Healthy Kitchen)

Protein sourdough pancakes (Secretly Healthy Home)

Sourdough protein pancakes with whole wheat (For the Pleasure of Eating)

Stuffed pepper soup (Meal Prep in an Instant)

The Empties:

Old apples
Arborio rice
Two boxes of fresh basil
One box of chicken broth
Creamy protein peanut butter (Cheat Day by Design)
Frozen easy sourdough muffins (Baker Bettie)
Three bags of frozen green beans
Two green pepper
Head of iceberg lettuce
Can of pickled jalapenos
Lentils
Jug of maple syrup
No cook nectarine chia jam (The Fit Cookie)
Three pound bag of onions
Peaches
Two pound bag of frozen peas

Quinoa
Frozen red bell pepper
Pound of baby portobella mushrooms
Old brown rice
Five cans of diced tomatoes
Two cans of tomato sauce

Pound of ground turkey

What went to waste:   

Some of the basil leaves were bad, but we knew that when we bought it on sale, and the rest made good pesto!

This March Called Life

This March Called Life

By Sarah Earles

Marching, marching

Will it ever, ever end?

But God said march.

God said pray.

God said stay the course,

so another round I'll go.

Marching, marching.

I'm getting tired, Lord.

But you said if I marched,

the walls would fall,

So I'm waiting,

Waiting.

Waiting, waiting,

obeying marching orders.

The seventh day hasn't come

but God said it would,

so I keep marching.

I keep walking by in faith.

Maybe these days are years.

Maybe these days are centuries.

I don't know,

'cause I haven't seen the victory yet.

But God said it would come,

and he hasn't failed me yet.

Marching, marching,

on and on I go.

God said He'd give victory

and I know He is able.

So as long as I'm able.

I'll continue, until the walls fall.

Until the walls fall,

or God me releases.

This life is my march.

Obedience is my call.

God deserves it all,

my obedience, my life, this ongoing march.

(Loosely based on the fall of Jericho depicted in Joshua 6).

Eats and Empties (Week 33)

 

The Eats:

Caesar dressing with anchovies (Cuisine with Me) 

Golden gravy (Dr. McDougall)

Homemade mozzarella cheese (Simmer and Sage)

Honey peach grilled cheese (Budget Bytes)

Lemon lentil soup (What Molly Made)

Pan de mie sandwich bread (The Perfect Loaf)

Puttanesca sauce (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

Turkey spaghetti (Meal Prep in an Instant)

The Empties:

Jar of applesauce
Can of baking powder
Head of broccoli
Two pound bag of frozen broccoli

Two pound bag of carrots
Five pound bag of carrots

Box of chicken broth
Jar of corn starch
Dozen eggs
Head of garlic
Container of Greek yogurt
Bag of frozen green beans
Head of iceberg lettuce
Fresh lemon
Half gallon of milk

Gallon of milk

Rice flour
Box of spaghetti
Twenty-eight ounce can of whole tomatoes
Pound of ground turkey
Bottle of Worcestershire sauce

What went to waste:   

Some of the whey leftover from making mozzarella. I saved most of it, but goodness, a gallon of whey is a lot to even try to save!

Real Life Marriage: We Stress Each Other Out!

"Who in your life causes you the most stress? What do they do that causes it?" The couples connection questions asked. I tried to caveat my answers. I tried to add nuance. Nevertheless, my answer remained: my husband. He is the person I care most about in the world. He is the one person from I really cannot separate myself. Boundaries be had or not, he stresses me out!

I wondered what my husband would say when he answered the questions. Honestly, waiting for him to answer made me a little nervous. Eventually, he gave me a smirk and I was pretty sure I knew his answer.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. And he nuanced his answer a little bit too. "I think anybody who is married would answer the same way," he said (or something like that).

I know I am a lot to put up with. I am my own ball of stress and nerves, and I know that affects my husband. I don't try to be a pain in the neck, but I am. At times, I am not sure I am worth it, but at this point, my husband is committed, and he is a man of his word.

I was honestly somewhat relieved by his answer, though. The fact that I stress him out shows that he does care about me. The fact that he is not bothered by that fact is reassuring. I think I do stress him out, but on my side, it is more me stressing about him that is the stressor. My husband is low needs, and he would like me to do less (and tells me as much), but that is hard for me. I do care about his health and well-being and happiness, and I monitor it more than I do for anyone else. He is part of me. If we go with the biblical definition of one flesh, he is me. I want to take care of him. I want to take care of us. I want to take care of me.

So there you have it. My husband and I are each other's greatest stressors. I'm not proud of the sin that causes me to stress my husband, but I am thankful that he accepts that responsibility. On my side, I am thankful that I get to have a husband to be a stressor. Marriage is not a gift everyone gets. So, good or bad, for better or for worse, here's to stress, and to maybe learning to stress less as God grows and matures us in our marriage.

Eats and Empties (Week 32)

The Eats:

Blooming potatoes (Daily Yum)

Classic lasagna with ground turkey (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Easy beef stir fry (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Easy sourdough muffins (Baker Bettie)

Gravy (Lisa G Cooks)

Instant Pot golden lentil soup with spinach (Kitchen Treaty)

No cook nectarine chia jam (The Fit Cookie)

Sourdough Greek yogurt cheddar biscuits (Cooking Katie Lady)

Whole wheat Greek yogurt bagels (MPM Nutrition)

The Empties:

Frozen apples
Can of bean sprouts
A whole cantaloupe
Two pound bag of sharp cheddar cheese
Frozen chicken broth
Box of store-bought chicken broth
Carton of a dozen eggs
Ginger root
Container of Greek yogurt
Two bags of frozen green beans
Jar of mayonnaise
Box of lasagna noodles
Five pound bag of potatoes
Red onion
Bottle of crushed red pepper
Fresh red pepper (Frozen for future use)
Head of romaine lettuce
Package of frozen spinach
Frozen steak
Frozen three ingredient blueberry bagels (Calla's Clean Eats)
Can of tuna
Pound of ground turkey
Frozen turkey, chorizo, and egg breakfast burritos (Meal Prep in an Instant)
Five pound bag of whole wheat flour

What went to waste:   

Some of the red pepper was bad, but thankfully I could freeze the rest!

Afghan 87

We will call this my car blanket, not as in a blanket for the car, but a blanket made in the car. Yes, I crochet most of my afghans in the car going to and from church. I made most of this one on our summer road trips, however. It was not without some angst, not due to the pattern, but due to the skeins of yarn that kept getting matted and tangled, even after rolling into balls. (I did not do the optional borer row because I just wanted to be done.) In the end, this afghan turned out on and lean, not quite the 36 by 54 inch crib size I aimed for, but still a blanket that I hope will bless a baby.

Hook: Ergonomic crochet hook size J

Yarn: 

Mainstays white

Pattern: Simple crochet blanket (Jewels and Jones)

Size: 32 by 55 inches

Eats and Empties (Week 31)

The Eats:

Breakfast potatoes (Cooking Classy)

Creamy protein peanut butter (Cheat Day by Design)

Greek yogurt pizza (Something Nutritious)

Grilled corn on the cob (Joyful Healthy Eats)

Homemade artisan crackers (Sally's Baking Addiction)

Homemade ranch dressing (with Greek yogurt) (It Starts With Protein)

The Empties:

Jar of applesauce
Package of bacon
Bag of baby carrots
Three pound bag of whole carrots
Frozen easy overnight sourdough bagels (Daddio's Kitchen)
Candy canes-yes, left over from Christmas!
Frozen apple cider
Eight ears of fresh corn on the cob
Container of cottage cheese
Trader Joe's cinnamon graham crackers
Cream cheese
Greek yogurt cream cheese (Free Your Fork)
Bag of frozen green beans
Package of ham
Hemp seeds
Bag of mini marshmallows 
Half gallon of milk
Two pound bag of mozzarella cheese
Frozen pineapple
Frozen homemade pizza sauce (Budget Bytes)
Five pound bag of potatoes
Head of romaine lettuce
Container of sour cream
Old jar of sourdough discard
Spicy ranch dressing (The Spiffy Cookie)
Frozen tomato sauce (The Flavor of Wisconsin)
Can of tuna
Pint of whipping cream

What went to waste:   

Just a little bit of lettuce that went bad, but I just pulled it off and was thankfully able to salvage the rest.

Everything I Read in July

I do not feel like I got in as much reading this month, but then I finished up a bunch of books right at month's end. This month, I read quite a few longer books. I am particularly proud of myself for finishing Jonathan Haidt's tome. After years of being a podcast girlie, I am really digging the story aspect of audio autobiographies and memoirs, especially those read by the authors, and completed three. All in all, I would say it's been a good month, even if maybe it got off to a slower start.

54) The Solid Grounds Coffee Company by Carla Laureano —Whew! What a finale to the Supper Club series. Analyn Sanchez and Bryan Shaw have liked each other from afar for years. A life crisis for both of them draws them together, and into launching The Solid Grounds Coffee Company, a business designed to support Colombian farmers converting their coca fields into coffee fields. Everything is going well, until both of their lives blow up further. They are forced to confront their pasts and imperfections in painful ways and really surrender to God, and to the love God has given them for one another. The plot of this book packs some punches, but isn't that the way God's grace is sometimes? Solid, confrontational, and just what we need.

Note: I appreciated the author's note about coffee and its production at the end of the book. As much as this is a good story and a fictional prod towards God's grace, it is also a work of advocacy on behalf of Columbian and other indigenous coffee growers. Props to the author for this!

55) Made for This Moment: Standing Firm with Strength, Grace, and Courage by Madison Prewett Troutt—Madison Prewett grew up in a Christian home, went to Bible school at her church, graduated from Auburn University, and then went on The Bachelor reality show. This book is more about learning identity in Christ and living out of that, but it does include some tidbits about her upbringing and time on the show. The book is easy to read, with questions to help with application. It encourages readers to be confident in and through Christ. Overall, this book is a quick ready with a solid message from which younger girls might especially benefit.

56) Provenance by Carla Laureano —As a former foster child, Designer Kendall Green has never really had much of a home or a family. Then she gets words that her maternal grandmother willed her land and houses. This takes her from California to Jasper Lake, Colorado to explore not only her heritage, but the history of the homes willed to her. This story does a good and gracious job of depicting some of the struggles of youth in the foster system, as well as having a good story line. There is a little romance, some mystery, some history, and a lot about God's provenance in ordaining life and bringing people to himself. This is an interesting read, even if a bit different than some of Laureano's other books.

P.S. Don’t miss the very special epilogue only on the author’s website!

57) For the Love of Money by Terri Blackstock—This little novella was a quick read; about Blake Adcock and Julie Sheffield who quickly gain, and give away millions. This book is pretty cheesy, and slapstick, laugh-out-loud funny at points. Parts are too unbelievable to be true, and other parts, like realizing that money fails to bring love, ring true. Overall, I think the story is just too short to have a well-developed plot.

58) The Recipe by Candace Calvert —Okay, this story gets five stars for cuteness! Dietary tech Aimee Curran is trying to bake her way into culinary school. Evidence tech Lucas Marchal is working tirelessly at his job, and trying to get his grandmother Rosalynn to eat her meals when he visits her after hours. Rosalynn is the only family he has left, and he’s not willing to let her go. More a short story than a full novel, this book is a good one about loving God by loving people—truly the best recipe for living a sweet life.

59) Hook, Line, and Sinker by Susan May Warren —A novel with college-aged characters was a bit young for me, the the story still hit on some timeless truths about forgiveness, love, identity and evangelism. Maybe I didn’t identify with Abigail Cushman’s age, but I could identify with her feelings about not measuring up. Ross Springer wasn’t an academic, but his grief and desire to be loved are also relatable. The hook, line, and sinker title is a bit cheesy, but this story admittedly reeled me in. I give it three stars.

60) The Voice: Listening for God’s Voice and Finding Your Own by Sandi Patty with Cindy Lambert—I am really enjoying autobiographies and memoirs read by their authors. This one was authored and read by Sandi Patty, a predominant voice in early Christian music, who fell from grace after a public affair and divorce, and then seemingly disappeared for quite some time. This book isn’t about that, though. Patty writes that she authored a separate book, Broken on the Back Row, about her divorce. She writes that she is not proud of the divorce and does not want to encourage others down that path. Rather, she wants to share about how she lost her voice as a child, and regained it as an adult. This is her story, of being raised in a Christian home, of experiencing early sexual abuse from a teacher, of struggling with self-esteem and food, and turning it over to God: listening to His voice and the truths it said about her. Each chapter of this book ends with a verse and questions for reflection. The book allows readers to learn not only about the trajectory of Patty’s career, but to consider the arcs of their own lives and what God has for them. I throughly enjoyed this book and if it is possible, suggest the audiobook over the paper book. After all, the book is entitled The Voice for a reason.

61) Broken Hearts Bakery by Carla Laureano—A self-published book, and a bit edgier than the author’s traditionally published works, this book follows lawyer Gemma Van Buren as she returns to her homework of Haven Springs, Colorado. She didn’t want to come back, except that her best friend, and it turns out the town, still needs her. The pain she faces is deep, though. Deep, too, run her feelings for her first boyfriend Stephen Osborne who has also returned to town. Will Gemma finally be able to make decisions out of hope rather than fear? Will both of them be able to make the right decisions for themselves, rather than than in attempts to please others? This is a good book, but felt lacking, and as I finished reading, I realized it was lacking mention of God or relationship to him. Looking at the author’s recent social media, that appears to be the way she is moving her career, too. More than anything, that breaks my heart, for her eternity, and for readers who will now miss her art. Although this book is one of a series, it is the last our library has, and probably the last of this author I will read.

62) The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt —More than anything else, reading this book was an exercise in mental strength. Written by an evolutionary psychologist (which I did not know before I started reading), it is more about how and why morality evolved, than about how to reach across political and religious divides. I did find it useful to understand how liberals base their morality around two foundations, while conservatives have six moral foundations. In the end, Haidt concludes that the best way to reach across political and religious divides is to try form relationships before making judgments. I think reading Compassion (&) Conviction by Chris Butler, Justin Giboney, and Michael Wear is a much better book from which to draw this conclusion, but for what it is worth, this book also ends with the same suggestion.

63) Things I Should Have Said by Jamie Lynn Spears—I never really listened to Britney Spears, but I knew who she was. Who I didn't really know was her younger (by nine years) sister Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lynn was herself a child star, but one who disappeared from stardom for six years after a teenage pregnancy. I checked out this book because it was billed as a life story about Spears' “journey back to faith.” While I would argue that this journey occupies a small space of the book, and that her journey was more about conversion to the religion of Catholicism than anything else, I did appreciate Spears' vulnerability in telling her own story. I admire how she is trying to break unhealthy family patterns and leave a new legacy for her daughters, who are Watsons (Spears' husband's last name), she notes. All in all, this was an easy book to read, with some statements worth considering. If you're a Britney fan, you might enjoy reading this Spears book even more.

64) Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers—I have read this book probably three times now, and before I proceed further, let me state that it is not safe for children! Based upon the book of Hosea in the Bible, it is about Farmer Michael Hosea taking a prostitute named Angel as his wife. That is where the strict to text allegory ends, but the portrayal of a love that never gives up is definitely biblical. I read the book after reading Hosea in my Bible reading plan, and as I read the book this time, I was struck by how sure of his identity Michael Hosea is. He knows who he is, which allows him to love like he does. Isn't that what Jesus did? Sure of his identity, he was able to love us fully, even unto death on cross! If that's not redeeming love, I don't know what is!

65) The Woman in Me by Britney Spears—Once again, I am not a Britney fan, but I am fascinated, and in this case, saddened, by people’s stories. Britney comes from a background of decades of mental illness and abuse. Her brother had a traumatic accident as a child, and so did her niece. It is pretty clear from this audiobook that fame forced Britney to act as an adult when still a child, and then as an adult, her family took action to make her a child again through conservatorship. While from an outside perspective, it does seem that Britney is not mentally well, it also seems pretty clear that her family is not well. If they really cared for her, why would they still force her to perform while in their 13-year conservatorship of her? All in all, this is a sad story, for Britney and for her family. I really hope and pray that they find salvation through Jesus, hope, health, and healing!

66) Cheering You On: 50 Reasons Why Anything is Possible with God by Holley Gerth—Given to me as a gift, this sweet little devotional was definitely encouraging! I have read books by Holley Gerth, but this is the first daily guide I have seen from her. Each day follows her (in)courage.me pattern with a daily verse, and a challenge to live out God's will in real life. Alternate pages includes sweet quotes from other authors. With bright and cheery colors and a gorgeous layout, this book is pretty to look at too. I already gifted this once to someone else and anticipate doing so more.

67) By your Side by Candace Calvert—It took me a little bit to get on the side of these characters. Maybe it was the medical lingo (since Calvert was an ER nurse in her previous life, I imagine it is very accurate)? Still, once I got into the story about former foster child and now ER nurse Macy Wynn and police officer Fletcher Holt, I was hooked! Macy has a lot of trust issues, but so does Fletcher. Each in their own way, have to make peace with God and learning to trust him, with everything, not just preventing bad things from happening, because both of them have had plenty of those. This book is full of suspense with its sniper sub-plot, and contains both medical trauma, sexual trauma, and grief, so reading it is not for the faint of heart. Getting to the end and reading about God being first and having a plan for life, though, is beautiful. If you have time to sit down and read a book from cover to cover, this is that kind of book. It's just hard to put down when so much is happening!

68) Go Big or Go Home: The Journey Toward the Dream by Scotty McCreery with Travis Thrasher—After the Britney Spears autobiography, I needed a more wholesome audiobook. This definitely fit the bill. While I didn’t watch Season 10 of American Idol, as a previous big fan of the show, I knew who Scotty McCreery was. This book gave me an inside look at his Idol journey, from the small town of Garner, NC, to stardom. Reading the book in his own voice, McCreery is authentic, honest, and real. He does not shy away from talking about his faith or his values (including changing an Idol song last minute due to finding out it was from an X-rated film). He unashamedly talks about his love for sports, especially the NC Wolfpack. I appreciate how McCreery takes time to name names and give credit to the people who have contributed to his journey. While I’m not a big country fan, this book makes me want to listen to McCreery’s music and helps me understand why he has the fan base that he does. He may be a big star, but at the end of the day, he’s a home boy. Even he says that.

69) The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents by Lisa Damour, PhD—This was a truly excellent book! Written by psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, an advisor for Inside Out 2, the book is accessible and timely. Focusing more on what is normal than what is abnormal, Damour focuses on equipping parents with practical tools for helping teens regulate emotions. Rather than trying to get rid of distress for adolescents, Damour encourages parents to help their teens become emotionally healthy “having the right feelings at the right time and being able to manage those feelings effectively.” Damour normalizes the separation/individuation process, which can help parents take teen snark and sarcasm less personally. There are plenty of jewels in this book, too many to summarize in a brief recap. Parent or not, this book helps people understand teenagers, and the world could benefit from more of that.

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Have you read any of these books? If so, what did you think? Please share in the comments section!

Strong(er) in July

I don't think I am getting stronger, at least in terms of my pull-up goals. Sure, I went down another band size, but now I can barely get to the top of the bar for one rep, let alone the three, five, or eight reps in the Nourish Move Love Assisted Pull-Up Plan. I tried to do one pull-up and nope, couldn't do it. I didn't even get half-way up. Still, I am committed to finishing this plan, because if I don't try, I can't know if a pull-up is really impossible for me, or just not possible yet.

Overall, I felt like I gained strength in the Overload 30 program, but now I feel that waning. I held my mileage steady these last few months, but started a specific training program on Sunday, which means less strength. Sigh. I am realizing that life is about priorities. I can't be strong everywhere, or at least not at the tip-top of my strength game in every area of my life.

Thankfully, marriage is going pretty well. We have our fits and starts, but more time to communicate, and re-communicate. I give God thanks for that. We are still working through The Marriage Devotional by Jennie and Levi Lusko, and I still try to listen to a marriage enrichment podcast each week. I am thankful for those resources. 

I continue reading the chronological Bible reading and listening to The Bible Recap podcast episode each day. I don't feel like I am not getting anything from this. (Maybe Bible reading has a cumulative effect?) I don't feel like I am getting as much as I can from it, either.

Maybe the theme of this month's post should be the summer doldrums. I am not not making progress, but I am sure not making the progress I would like. At the same time, I don't have the energy, or want to put in the energy to push harder. Maybe this is a rest. Maybe rest is a flex to get ready for the next season of God growing me stronger? We shall see.

Eats and Empties (Week 30)

The Eats:

Greek yogurt cream cheese (Free Your Fork)

Homemade protein vanilla latte (Pretty Delicious Life)

Polish strawberry pasta (The Modern Nonna)-I'd never heard of this, but when I read about it in the "Tuesday Things" post on How Sweet Eats and I had the strawberries and yogurt, I bought the pasta to try it!

Three ingredient blueberry bagels (Calla's Clean Eats)

Three ingredient yogurt cheesecake tortillas (Goodness Avenue)

Black bean burger (Eat Plant-Based) bowl with sauteed peppers and onions (Artful Dishes)

The Empties:

Airplane snacks
Frozen blueberries
Fresh cantaloupe
Frozen fire-roasted white bean quinoa soup (How Sweet Eats)
Container of Greek yogurt
Green pepper
Half gallon of milk
Head of romaine lettuce
Can of Progresso soup
Two pound carton of strawberries
Package of ready to cook tortillas

What went to waste:   

Some frosting from my birthday that I kept forgetting about. Blue (mold) chocolate frosting is a no-go.

Changing My Thinking

"Do I want to?" 

"No. But I'm going to do it anyway."

That's been my inner dialogue for a long time. I used it to motivate myself, to get myself to do hard things, to slog through the mundane things that really just needed to be done. But recently, I realized that it was really not helping me in the ways I thought it was. It was making me resistant. It was making me angry. Instead of pushing me through, it was reminding me that I really don't want to do the thing. So with the Holy Spirit's help, I've been changing my thinking.

"Do I want to?"

"No, no that."

"I'm choosing...because."

"I'm choosing to run these errands now because I want time to go to the running store tomorrow."

"I'm choosing to do this chore because I will experience less stress tomorrow."

"I'm choosing to put the dishes away because I would want that done if it was me coming home late."

"I'm choosing to do this work now because I accepted the responsibility of being a supervisor."

This inner monologue doesn't change the fact that things are hard. It doesn't make me like cleaning the shower or slogging through running errands in the heat. It does remind me that I am blessed to have choices, and that I have control over making them. I am an adult living in America, so for the most part, no one is making me do anything. I choose to do things, and that choosing involves choosing my thinking. I can choose to think in ways that aren't helpful, or I can choose to change my thinking to ways that are. The choice is up to me.