Photo by Sharon Lane
Let me explain. First, the control. I’ve realized that no matter what I do, no matter how hard we work, no matter how many healthy habits we institute, we cannot do anything to ensure the success of our marriage. Our marriage is God’s. He is the one in charge of it. He holds it together. And while I wholeheartedly believe that God wants our marriage to succeed, endure, and last because marriage images Christ’s undying love for the church, I’m not in control of what our marriage looks like or how it gets there. I’m only in control of my actions. That leads me to my second point.
I’m responsible for what I put into marriage, but not in control of the outcome. I’m accountable to God for my godly submission, for my respect, for my actions, and for my inaction. But I cannot control how my husband responds or what effect I have on our marriage. I pray to be faithful and true and right. But that guarantees nothing.
Salvation is a free gift. Marriage is a gift. I pray that I steward both well. But they are also both out of my control, reliant ultimately on God and His grace and not on me.
Maybe this seems like a downer post. And if you don’t have Jesus, maybe it is. Because if I didn’t have Jesus, the terror of marriage being out of my control would be overwhelming. But by God’s grace, I have Jesus and his redemptive work at my life. Because of that, the realization that my marriage is out of my control should ultimately be a comforting one. Because the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-controlling God of the universe is in control, and not little old me. And since His glory is at stake in our marriage, I can trust that He is always working to hold our marriage together. That thought balm for my often troubled soul.
My marriage is out of my control. My marriage is in God’s control. Hallelujah.
Such a great realistic picture of marriage. It's beautiful but also difficult. Not many people are willing to embrace that, let alone discuss it.
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