Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Three Reasons Why Happiness Is Hard


I used to think that happiness came easily, without effort. In fact, I think I defined happiness by its unwilled nature. But is that truly the case? Does happiness always come without work? I've come to believe lately that happiness is often hard. Here are three reasons why:

1) Sometimes our brains don't have what they need. Happiness requires both an activating event and a brain response. Sometimes our brains don't have what it takes to respond in a way that makes us feel happy, that is, the chemicals that happy antecedents should trigger don't come. This is why I personally believe that medication is sometimes necessary. Sometimes our brains need help to work the way that God-intended. Taking medication can have its own side effects, though. It can be hard, especially is a culture that still casts shame on mental health struggles. But the hard of medication, short- or long-term may be what is required to actually feel happy.

2) Happiness itself can bring with it feelings of guilt. In the midst of hard times, it can feel bad, even wrong to have happiness. When loved ones die, when people are in, when we are in the midst of a pandemic, happiness feels out of place. I think that's one of the reasons God gave us happiness, though, to sustain us in times of trial. It is hard to let happiness come when it feels like all we should feel is pain, but we should let it, because it may be that happiness that gets us through.

3) Fear can come in tow. It can be scary to feel happiness, because if we let ourselves have it, we acknowledge that we may soon not have it. Some of us would rather live in the expected hard than cope with the pain that comes from the ebb and flow of happiness. There isn't really a fix here, other than to acknowledge the fear and feel happy anyway. To live in fear is no way to live.

Is happiness worth it? Yes, I think it is. But happiness is also hard. I think if we acknowledged that, we might work a little more to achieve happiness, and in so doing, increase our appreciation of it.

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