"You know not to use the green side of the sponge on the non-stick cookware, right?" My husband turned to me and asked one night. (We'd been having an ongoing discussion about the waning presence of the non-stick coating in our pots and pans.)
I looked at him with wide eyes. "No," I said. "I always use the green side of the sponge."
He looked back at me with the same wide eyes. I burst out laughing. He started laughing with me. In my defense, I didn't really grow up with non-stick cookware and the only dish washing lessons I'd ever had were on how to get things clean. My way to get things clean is to scrub, hard. Well, I guess we've found the culprit for our dishware issues!
My husband could have approached me about the dishes with accusation. He brought these particular dishes to the marriage, after all. Instead, he approached me with a nonjudgmental question. I received that much better. When I confessed my habits, my husband could have responded in anger. Instead, he responded with empathy and an understanding that my experience was different than his. He approached the situation with grace, and we were able to laugh, forming a funny memory and improving our marital bond.
Marriage is two different people with two different experiences and two different lives coming together. Sometimes this uniting causes some upset. Sometimes bonding results in some loss for a greater gain. Non-stick enamel in this case. It's all part of the process, though, and it's all worth it.
To God be the glory.
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