During premarital counseling, our pastor provided us with this chart. To do hard things, he said, your marriage has to be in a good place. I took a picture of that chart, and to this day, have kept it on my phone.
I think there is sometimes a misconception in the church that we should be able to do everything in the power of God. It's hard? Push through? Limited resources? Push through? Marriage in a rough place? Just trust in God and He'll get you through. True, and not, at the same time.
As we have faced struggles in our lives, things that take the life out of us, I have found that we need more and more investment into our relationship. The same goes with service to others. The more we serve others, the more time we need to invest into us to keep our marriage solvent. It is counterintuitive in a way, that more is more, but it also makes sense. If we invest more, we can give more.
I will be honest and say that I tend towards stinginess, even in my marriage. I want more of my husband and struggle to share. At the same time, when the Holy Spirit convicts me, I am trying to choose to let myself, and us, be stretched for God's glory and the good of others. I find it easier to stretch, though, when our marriage is in a happy and full place.
So here's to more investment, more energy, my time, more love, so that we can give God's love away to others. We will never be able to fill ourselves on our own. Even that requires the power of God, but by God's grace, may we do it.
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