Real Life Marriage: Trying to Balance It All

I have been trying for a long time to figure out how to balance it all: his needs, my needs, our needs as a couple, our marriage. For the first part of our marriage, I leaned into trying to serve my husband and be everything to him. That kind of backfired, as I found myself basing my self-worth on whether or not I pleased my husband, dangerous for him, and for me. 

I experienced a strong recoil reaction and started to be more of a loner in our marriage. I was not trying to be selfish, per se, but rather trying to find myself as a married woman. I am sure I was selfish on many occasions in this pursuit.

It is really hard to find balance in marriage, to value my husband, to value myself, and to value us. As Jennie Lusko writes in her devotional with her husband, The Marriage Devotional, this balance "is not about disregarding your own thoughts, hopes, and dreams. It is elevating the person in your life to honor them, think well of them, and life them up. It's not diminishing you or tearing both them and yourself down....It's being able to life up someone else without pouring contempt on yourself or thinking of yourself as less-than" (p. 311). Tricky.

I don't think we balance it all well a lot of the time, most of the time, but by God's grace, sometimes we get it right. I think our fall trip to Utah was one of those times. We spent time together. We spent time apart. We both chased some of our goals. I came away feeling full, of love for my husband, love for God, and appreciation for my life. 

Will these times happen often? Maybe. I certainly pray for more of them. In the meantime, I am appreciating this one, treasuring it in my heart, and allowing God to remind me that all things, even seemingly impossible things, are possible in and through Him. To Him be the glory, amen!

Reference:

Lusko, L., & Lusko, J. (2022). The marriage devotional: 52 days to strengthen the soul of your marriage. W Publishing Group.