Thin may be ideal in today's society, but my body shape and size is largely due to genetics. (Ask my dad about some of the pejorative comments people made about him and his siblings while they were growing up.) Thin is not, better, either. As a genetically smaller person, it is harder for me to gain muscle. I have less cushion when I fall. When I get sick and cannot consume adequate nutrition, my body has less to feed on. This body is my home and I am grateful for it, but its size does not make me any better (or worse) than the next person.
Though many people start running in an attempt to lose weight, that is not the case for me. Over the course of my second half-marathon training cycle, I actually gained about ten pounds. For me, that was actually a good thing. Whether I gained muscle or fat, I do not know. I just know that the scale went up. During my most recent work with a running dietitian, I learned that despite my efforts to the contrary, I was underfueling my runs (Moore, n.d.). Fueling more would further increase my weight, she said, but also skyrocket my performance. She wasn't wrong.
Running has added to the size of my butt, hips, and thighs, too. Those are not always areas that people generally want to grow. Pants that use to fit (even yoga pants!) have gotten tighter the more I run. I have outgrown pants in my usual size, and pants people gifted me based on my old body don't fit at all. This feels contradictory to the message that smaller means healthier. Not in my case.
My stomach is less flat and I feel more bloated and "fluffy" as I run more. This is probably due to muscle glycogen storage, as carbohydrates store water with them. I need carbohydrates and water to run long, though, so I have to accept this change. A dehydrated, underfueled body is no good for running!
Although some people seem to think that running means you can eat whatever you want, it is actually quite the opposite. Fun foods like pizza do not actually made for good post-run fuel (because of the lack of protein in that particular food). I have to eat better foods after I long run if I want to adequately recover. Needing my GI tract to cooperate with me while out for a long time actually means eating less "good-for-you" things like broccoli in the days before I run-no cheat days there, either. (High fiber and high fat are apparently difficult for the body to digest, which can lead to problems on the run.) I end up eliminating a lot of fruits and vegetables during carb loads before a race (which thankfully are only three days.) On the run, I actually need to eat things I might not normally want to, like baby food fruit pouches and or sugary gels. As many sports dietitians say, performance nutrition is not everyday nutrition.
Am I grateful for this body that allows me to run? One hundred percent! Am I running to change my body. No? In fact, running is changing my body is some ways that are not the most comfortable for me, and that actually make me look less "fit" according to societal standards. Fitting in is not what running is about for me, though. Running is about fitting in an enjoyable activity into my life. It is about doing something that fits with me and the person God made me to be. So, body changes or not, here I come, working at fueling better in order to get this body ready to run towards my next goals!
Reference:
Moore, E. (n.d.). The Dietitian Runner. https://thedietitianrunner.com/
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