I've attended more weddings than I am years old. And weddings tend to stress me out. They're so special and celebratory, but they can also be so detailed and over-the-top. They can also be bride-centric and somewhat exclusive of the groom. So when it came to my own wedding, I wanted to go simple and low stress, and include my groom, because this wedding wasn't happening without Chris! Here's how we did it.
Invitations
We didn't send out save the dates. With as short of an engagement as we had, we really didn't have time.
We sent out a one page photo announcement/invitation. I liked the idea of people having a picture of us even if they could not attend the ceremony.
We didn't include an RSVP reply card. Instead, we asked people to RSVP via our Knot website. This was inconvenient for some, and for that we apologize, but it really worked best for us and for our budget.
We kept invitations pretty open. If people saw us and told us they wanted to attend, we invited them. Planning a simple ceremony allowed that.
The Ceremony
We kept it simple. We wanted the focus to be on the Lord and on our vows, so we asked our pastor to officiate that way. He did an amazing job.
We limited our attendants to two each. We have many family and friends we value and could have asked to stand with us, but we stuck to one friend and one family member that we knew would support us in our vows.
We chose not to do a meal. Again, this was inconvenient for some, and for that, we apologize. But we wanted to keep the reception short, and we wanted to have an open invitation policy. That meant no elaborate food plans.
We cut everything that didn't matter to us. Wedding cake? Cut. First dance? Cut. Bouquet and garter toss? Cut. Chris developed some "filter questions" for our ceremony and if something didn't honor God, enrich our marriage, or specifically exist to bless our guests, we got rid of it. That allowed us to keep and focus on what really mattered to us: our covenant of marriage and the friends and family who came to support us in it.
The Decorations
Get a planner. Here's where not everyone can do what we did. My best friend is an amazing amateur decorator, florist, wedding planning, do-it-all type gal. I flew her out to help me find my wedding dress, and we planned a lot of the wedding that weekend. She then collected other decorations, made our bouquets and boutonnieres, etc. and brought them with her. Her help was invaluable.
Use food. My best friend and mom proposed using pinto beans and split peas in jars to decorate (since we had a cactus/southwest theme). This was a great idea! The decorations cost less and were even repurposed into after-wedding food, like the split pea soup we made in our Insta-Pot the first week we were home.
Let other people take the lead. Again, not everyone can do what we did, but I told everyone that my best friend was in charge, and left. Yes, I let other people decorate the church without me. It was less stressful for me and truly let me get some rest in my body, soul, mind, and spirit before the big day.
So it goes without saying, but a big part of our low stress wedding is thanks to my best friend.
The Day Of
Go low key with exercise. I knew I wanted to get outside the morning of the wedding, but I also didn't want to get all sweaty. So I went with an early, low-key stroll. That was enough to help center my mind without stressing my body and getting all nasty and gross.
See the groom. This broke status quo, but Chris he was a big part of helping me not get overly caught up in details or stressed about things. I also didn't like the idea of not seeing him the entire day before we made a lifelong commitment before God and men. So before I got my makeup done or we started getting ready, we spent a few minutes together to try to wrap our heads around the day and what was in store for us.
Do calming activities. There was so much I could have done the day of the wedding, but I wanted to be a calm and collected bride for my groom, so I just said, "No." Instead, I looked at social media, read a book, colored, and blogged.
Go professional for makeup. I wasn't originally on board with this, but my best friend suggested it, and I am so glad she did. I went to Ulta, so it wasn't super expensive, and having someone else do my makeup improved my confidence and made it easier on my bridal party and attendants.
Order food you will want to eat. I was worried I wouldn't be hungry or want to eat the day of the wedding, so I ordered my favorite Chick-Fil-A salad. I'm so glad I did. It tasted good and kept me fueled for the long day ahead.
Get ready with family and girlfriends. All those girls I might have wanted to ask to stand with me? I invited them to get ready with me. They (and their cute kids) kept me entertained and not too anxious. My mom was also there, which helped a ton!
Have room to pace. Again, this might not be possible for everyone, but we had a fairly large room (the church fellowship room) for getting ready, and when I started to feel anxious, I walked, yes, wedding dress and all. I'm thankful that I had comfortable shoes!
Pray! My friends prayed with me and for me during the wait time, and I know that made the greatest differences.
Was our wedding perfect? No, but it was wonderful. And besides being wonderful because of the man I married, it was wonderful because it was very low stress, something this perfectionistic, type A girl needed in order to really enjoy and be present for the day.
