Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Bingeing?

(A "normal" nighttime snack of avocado pudding, almonds, leftover pancakes, and an apple)

I've been a night-eater since, I don't know, seventh or eight grade. And my mom always eats a bowl of cereal before she goes to bed. I've been reading a lot about bingeing at night, though. (See ImmaEatThat and In It For the Long Run.) And I started to get concerned. I even freaked myself out that I had Night Eating Syndrome. But that's not in the DSM, and I don't have all the symptoms, so I decided to give that idea a rest.

But I still eat a LOT at night. And lately, it's been even more. Not eating enough at lunch probably has something to do with it, but I always seem busy and preoccupied, so satisfying lunches don't really seem to happen. I don't feel super hungry during the day (even though I definitely eat three meals), and then I'm SUPER hungry at snack time. I've been fighting the hunger, trying to portion out my food, limiting myself, etc., but it never seems to work.

So you know what? I'm giving in. A few nights back, for example, I had quite a few tortilla chips with crunchy peanut butter after my initial snack of toast, apples, peanut butter, and a bowl cake (aka mug cake). I tried to hold back, but I was hungry, and if I'm hungry, I don't sleep. I wanted to sleep. And guess what? I woke up hungry after eating all that, so I guess my body needed the fuel.

I struggle mega-big-time with self acceptance, and for me, this night-eating seems to be part of life's journey. It's about accepting my body, honoring its needs, and being okay if I sometimes eat more than I probably "should." Maybe eventually my hunger and eating will even out, but for now, this is what it is (no labels), and I accept it.

Also, a big shout out to My Uncommon Everyday for her Day in the Life post about her nighttime snack. She's honoring her hunger and her body, too.

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