Imperfection

Remember that post I wrote on self-forgiveness? Yeah, I'm having to practice that a lot. I'm having to face my imperfections.

I've always been a perfectionist (like in high school I would rip pages out of my notebook and rewrite them if I made a mistake). I thought I was getting better, caring less about the perfect, and more about the pure, good, and lovely things of life (Phil 4:8). But God's been showing me lately that I still have a long way to go.

Like I've always been a regimented exerciser. I try to follow a pretty strict schedule, and most of the time, it's worked for me. But lately, I've been tired. My body has hurt. So I've been taking time off walking with mom (saving cardio for runs to train for Pat's Run) doing yoga instead of weights, etc. I've felt lazy sometimes, but my body has thanked me by holding up for my runs.

Then there's the whole matter of training for Pat's Run. When I run, I run 3 miles, and a "hard" race is 5K. Now I'm taking on 4.2 miles. It's not that much further...but it is. I was "on schedule" with training, and then suddenly realized I was a week off. And that upset me. It wasn't that I didn't think I could do the next, harder week, but that I'd missed a week. I wanted to follow the schedule.

My eating is still all over the place. Like Tuesday night, there wasn't dinner at Bible study (I thought there would be), so I had a package of Nature's Valley peanut butter chocolate granola cups to tide me over. When I got home, I had a bowl of chocolate applesauce almond butter oatmeal (based off this recipe) and a TON of cereal. And I felt kind of sick afterwards, but I was so hungry.

And then there's chores around the house. I usually help my mom clean the bathroom on Wednesdays, and this Wednesday, I totally forgot, which meant she did it all. She was gracious with me, but I felt terrible!

So yeah, I'm pretty much imperfect. I don't have my life together. I fail at lots of things. And I'm human. A human in need of a perfect Savior. A perfect Savior who paid the perfect price for all my sins so that I can forgive myself...and others...for being imperfect.