Friday, April 28, 2017

Musings on Life

I don’t know myself.
I just want to be content, satisfied,
to find a passion,
to know what I care about,
and what I don’t;
to find my God-given purpose,
and fulfill it.
I numb too frequently with Pinterest,
and Instagram,
and food,
and often all of the above.
I can’t seem to get enough sleep,
and when I rest, it’s not always restful.
God’s still on the throne,
and I know that,
but somehow I still feel like I’m walking around
in a daze,
in a maze
of white-washed hallways and rooms
without directional signs.
I can’t sit down,
or stop walking,
or I’ll die,
but I don’t know what to do
or where to go.
So I just keep walking.
I try to do a few things that matter.
I try to find joy along the journey.
But I find myself wondering
if this is all there really is to life.
I’m not despairing,
not yet,
just wanting answers,
wanting to find direction
before I permanently
lose myself.
In this white wasteland,
which I think is my greatest fear.

I've got big decisions to make and a lot going on this next week. May God be my guide.  

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