37.

Maybe, just maybe I lived up to my birthday goal from last year, "Just Live." (It probably helped that I really simplified the language of my goal. That gives me less satisfaction in achieving it, but increases the likelihood that I would.) I say that "maybe" I lived up to my goal because we did some big things this past year. We took an anniversary trip. I went on a girls' weekend. I cut my work hours back for a little bit to try to breathe in some more air (and because my husband asked me to do so). I ran a marathon. The year was hard. The year was good. I am thankful.

As I ponder this next year, I realize that my goal is in the same vein as was my goal last year. I want to prioritize. I want to celebrate. I want to, with the Lord's help, try to do things now rather than waiting until later. I want to reclaim my life.

My mom gave me the advice that we should not delay things until the perfect time, or until we are flush with cash, because then we will never get to do them. In that vein, we took a trip for my birthday. We also scheduled another trip later this month. I registered ahead for some big races in the future. Were these things risky? Yes. Were they wise? Maybe. Maybe not. I just know that if I don't make choices about my life, the circumstances of my life will control me, rather than I, them.

I have continued counseling this year. Although I would rather not incur that expense and spend that time, I think it is useful. It helps me metabolize the things I experience. It gives me time to reflect on my priorities and what I am doing in my life. For now, I continue.

Running has taken a bigger place in my life these past twelve months, and perhaps, for a season, it will continue to do so. I find joy and freedom in running. I find accomplishment and fun and pleasure. Will it always be this way? No, probably not. But for now, I want to celebrate the good gift from God that running is.

I continue to grow and flex with my job. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to some extent, to set my own schedule. I need to take advantage of that gift. I also want to be faithful with new opportunities as they present themselves.

In the midst of reclaiming, though, I want to learn and practice contentment. May the Lord help me with that. This life has plenty of struggles, but as I tell others, God has given us two hands. I can feel joy and grief at the same time. As I seek to reclaim this beautiful life that God has given me, may I remember to make room for both.