36.

Last year, I wanted to aim for acceptance. Little did I know all the year would throw at me, at us. While I did my share of kicking against the goads, most of the time I had no choice but to try to gulp down what life gave me and keep on going (Acts 26:14).

I have received lots of support this year. My family has received lots of support. I went back to counseling. I ran a lot. I started a writing project to try to help make sense of my life.

There's been a lot of grief, some over actual life lost, a lot over lost expectations, some expectations I did not even know I had.  There have been celebrations and victories, though I wish we would had celebrated more, because there were certainly moments we failed to celebrate, or could have celebrated bigger. After all, isn't life itself worth celebrating?

I'd like to say my goal is to celebrate more this next year, but from where I sit, that seems too much. Just living seems like a lot, so maybe that will be my phrase for this next year: Just live. Live for the Lord. Live for those I love. Live to leave a legacy. The older I get, the more my yearly goals are my life goals, and maybe that is the way it should be. After all, we only get one life to live, and no one but the Lord knows the number of our days.