35.

Thirty-five and old enough to be president (not on my bucket list)! Oh my. Part one of my goal last year was to savor life a little more. I think I did. 

Over the past year, I enjoyed some really special times with friends and family. My husband and I got in our staycation. I got promoted at work. I fit in some fun cooking projects. We got a new home air conditioner and a new car, and renovated our kitchen. God blessed me with a really good season running. I tried to savor those races and really be present, soaking up the joys after the races via wearing my race year, looking, and relooking at photos, etc. I was able to keep crocheting, and even fit in some projects other than afghans. It has been a good year, really it has.

I have also been angry, though. Angry at life. Angry about life. Angry at people, unfortunately a lot at my husband, who has not done anything wrong, but too often bears the brunt of my frustration. My life is good AND I want a different life. I want a slower life. An easier life. I want this hard season to be over.

Anger says that things aren't right, and they aren't. We live in a sin-stained world. A lot of things did go wrong. My body doesn't like the stress I am under. Fair.

The second part of my goal last year was to let Jesus be enough. Given my struggles with anger, I am not sure I have. If He was enough, I should be able to accept my current life circumstances. I should be able to hold hard and hope at the same times. I do not think I am there yet.

So maybe my goal for next year needs to be acceptance. I hesitate to even name that goal, as I know I will be tried and tested. Life will probably try and test me anyway. So here's to that goal: Accepting that hard is part of life, and being alive in year 35!