How I Talk About My Marriage

It might surprise people that I talk to my mom so much about my marriage. In many situations, this would not be wise. With the blessing of having a mom that follows Jesus and believes in my marriage, however, it works for me. Still, I try to take care about how I talk about my marriage.

When I go to my mom, I try to talk about my struggles. My husband is not perfect, but I am only in control of me. Therefore, I talk to my mom about me. I talk to her about the sins I see in myself and ask her advice about how to combat them. I ask her about how to be a better support to my husband. I deal with my side of the equation.

I try not to talk to my mom about things I think my husband has done wrong. I try not to speak ill of him. This is good practice for me, as it helps me focus on edifying talk. I think it is also important because I want my parents on the side of my marriage. To speak ill of my husband to my mom could potentially bias her towards me, and that is not the point.

Is it right to talk to my mom about any and every situation? No. My husband is my head, and when it comes to life decisions, I need to seek the Lord and seek my husband first. Mom is no longer my authority. If my husband and I both want to go to her and my dad for advice about a particular decision, however, they welcome it.

Other things are just personal things. My husband and I differ from my parents on some topics, and that is okay. I do not need to get parental approval. What I need is support, and spurring on towards godliness. That is my what my mom gives me when I go to her in the right ways.

Am I perfect in the way that I talk about my marriage? No. I am thankful that my mom understands this, and calls me on non-productive talk when she hears it. This is one of the reasons I continue to talk to her, because even in her talk about my talk, she challenges me to be more godly, and isn't that I what I am seeking?