Why am I over Valentine's Day this year? Because it's become so laden with commercialism and expectations. Men are expected to buy their women flowers and chocolate. Women are expected to dress up and be super "sexy." (I'll never forget the day a women came into JCPenney desperate to find a certain type of lingerie on Valentine's Day. As an employee, I had to tell her that we didn't have it. And I felt so bad for her because she was obviously trying to live up to some kind of expectation, whether hers or someone else's.) And is that what love is? I don't think so.
My parents have been married a lot of years, and sometimes Dad gets Mom flowers on Valentine's Day. But most of the time not. Instead, he shows her his love a thousand ways throughout the year. He buys her the special kind of dark chocolate she likes. He picks out movies to watch with her. He takes her out to eat. And he does "non-romantic" things with her, too, like grocery shopping and going to the doctor and working in the yard. That's more of what love is to me.
Love is non-romantic, too. That's what I've focused on when I celebrated Valentine's Day in the past. I wrote notes to friends, sent cards to my family, and ate special dinners with people I cared about. I love lots of people in non-romantic ways, but that's a throughout the year kind of love, too.
My dad has occasionally bought me flowers on Valentine's Day, and if he does that again this year, I'll be thankful. (Update: He gave Mom and I cards, coffee, and chocolate yesterday before I had a chance to post this.) But I'm more grateful for the ways that my family shows me love on a day-in, day-out basis. Like when Mom puts away dishes for me or leaves dinner for me on the stove long after she and Dad have eaten. When Dad offers to squeegee the sap off my car windows or change my oil, I feel loved. When my parents comes home with random gifts like these sneaker boots, I feel loved.
I'm thankful for the love of friends, too. Like the package that came to me with a cactus bag that my best friend bought for me on her trip to Australia. Or the handwritten letters from another friend. Or Facebook messages from someone I haven't heard from in awhile.
Love is so much bigger than Valentine's Day, and that's why I'm not focusing on the holiday this year. I'm planning to go to a training for work and come home and love on and appreciate my family like I should do every day. When the urge comes to do something kind for them, to cook, or clean, or buy gifts, or say, "I love you," I will. Because that's a true, enduring love instead of a transient one.
Friends, what do you plan to do for Valentine's Day? If you plan to celebrate, great! I'd be interested in hearing about how you make the day special.
If like me, you don't celebrate Valentine's Day, how do you show love to those around you? Please share in the comments section.
No comments:
Post a Comment