Love Gifts from God

High school was not the worst of times, but it was not the best of times, either. I was struggling with academic stress, friend stress, work stress, and more. I was also battling anxiety and depression, for a time with medication and therapy, and later with nothing but natural support from family and friends. I remember clearly some deep days of despair on which I called out to God to do something to show me his love. He never had to answer. He is sovereign and perfect and I was certainly not, but time and time again, God graciously reached down and gave me gifts of love.

Somewhere around Valentine's Day of my senior year of high school, I got a call from the college I wanted to attend letting me know I had gotten a half-tuition scholarship. With the steep price of the school, this made it a little more accessible, if not yet quite feasible. Sometime around that period, I also got a call from my dad's company letting me know that I had received their top academic scholarship which meant, for the first year, I would owe nothing in school tuition. Sure, I would have move-in and living an expenses, but I could go to my dream school without going into debt. Praise!

I had come home from the scholarship weekend competition at that school some weeks earlier, telling my parents I wanted to attend the school, but that there was no way it would work out. "Just wait," my dad said. "See what God will do." And wow, God came through! I am pretty sure my dad reminded me of this, too, not to say, "I told you so," but as an earthly father, to point to the love of my heavenly father.

On several other dark days in high school, I remember crying out to God for signs of his love as I completed tasks related to my house cleaning job for a lovely family in a town nearby time. At least twice, the mom of that household came out to me and gave me immense gifts: designer hand-me-down clothes from her daughter, and later an entire set of dishes (that we still use to this day). Did that lady know I was struggling? Or was she just acting on Holy Spirit conviction? Maybe both! Whatever the case, I viewed those gifts as wonderful blessings not just from her, but from a God who loved me.

And this year, after a particularly stressful few weeks of work, followed by a few moments when I literally thought I was going to lose my mind, God gave me a love gift again. I had driven about 20 minutes to my Avon lady's house to pick up my order, not entirely convenient, but something that saved me shipping and sort of allowed me to "shop local." "I put a little gift in there for you," she said. "I gave you the other kind of mascara, just so you can try both and see which one you like." (I had ordered one tube of mascara to replace my now three year old product.) When I got home and looked at the tube, what word stood out prominently? Love.

I felt lighter after that interaction, not entirely better, but definitely loved. There was absolutely no reason the Avon lady needed to give me two tubes of mascara. I don't even use a lot of makeup, so it would take me a while to go through both, but still. It was a love gift: from her, and from God. One of the reasons I chose this lady is because she is a believer, so I believe that she must have given me that extra mascara as a prompting from God.

As I write this, I realize how often God has shown me His love through other people. What would have happened if those people had chosen to disobey God's promptings? I don't know. I hope that I wouldn't have lost faith, but I know for sure I would have felt more despairing, depressed, and dejected. I hope that maybe in some cases, God's love has been able to flow through me to others, as His love flowed through me to these. Perhaps on this Valentine's Day, that is something to think about: how to see God's love through the acts of others, and how to give God's love through acts of service and care. God's ultimate gift of love was in and through His Son Jesus. While we can't save the world, perhaps God can use our love to move people a little closer to true salvation, or at the last, save them from feeling completely unloved in this here and now life.

Valentine's Day 2024

In the past, I haven't been a big fan of Valentine's Day. Its' a commercial holiday. I think it can promote guilt, especially for men. This year, though, I took a different tact. I decided to celebrate for all its worth, not necessarily in a commercial way that cost a lot, but more in a cute-sy, "we need something to celebrate" way. 

[I must confess that Gretchen Rubin's (2015, 2016) "happy habits" inspired me.]

I made some heart cup cozies for pink morning smoothies.

Breakfast was a no bake protein cookie with some heart candy decorations.

Snacks are life around here, so I found some cute food Valentine's Day food puns and put them on snacks in heart shaped boxes.

This was my gift to my husband.

I made a grilled cheese for dinner with some red sun dried tomatoes in it.

We had red velvet cupcakes for dessert.

He got me some flowers and chocolate.

Was the day cheesy? Yes. Did it include some corny humor? Yes. But laughing is good for us (Mayo Clinic, 2023)! (And at this point, my husband either accepts my cheesiness or puts up with it. Either way, he's stuck with it!)

References:

Mayo Clinic. (2023, September 22). Stress relief from laughter? It's no joke. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456

Rubin, G. (2015, February 18). A happy habit: Celebrating Valentine's breakfast (as pictured). Medium. https://medium.com/@gretchenrubin/a-happy-habit-celebrating-valentine-s-breakfast-as-pictured-61f2edb49029

Rubin, G. (2016, February 14). A favorite Valentine's Day tradition that I can't observe this year. Gretchen Rubin. https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/a-favorite-valentines-day-tradition-that-i-cant-observe-this-year/

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Did anyone else go all out on Valentine's Day this year? Please share what you did (or didn't, that's fine too), in the comments section.

Happy Heart's Day!

I have never been much for celebrating Valentine's Day. I haven't liked what it's stood for, and I hate the commercialism of it. But in this current season of life, I am up for celebrating anything and everything, even silly holidays. Since today is a work day, I took to celebrating Valentine's Day with my love on Saturday, our date day. I themed the day with hearts, but with a twist, in that each time I gave my husband something heart-shaped, I tried to tell him something I appreciated about him. I almost forgot with the first one, though!

I started that day with a heart-shaped Hershey's chocolate chip caramel Kreme doughnut. (Thank you, Krispy Kreme for the Valentine's Day theme!) I had some heart shaped Cheerios on hand as a back-up, less sugary breakfast.

I attempted to make pizza with heart shapes for dinner (pan pepperoni pizza for him and thin crust radish pizza for me).

We did some date night questions from our heart jar.

Then we made a Valentine's Day cookie house (since we never got around to a gingerbread house this Christmas).

All in all, a fun day, and a day worth celebrating. I guess not every day can be that way, but maybe we can find ways to celebrate a little every day? Especially with/for those we love?

Men Matter: My Message for Valentine's Day

The suited man held a bouquet of red roses behind his back. That was the photo on the cover of the advertisement. That was all. The photo could have been worse. There are a lot more sordid depictions of Valentine's Day, but the photo still upset me. Call me overly sensitive about things, but I didn't like the ideals the ad promoted.

What is so wrong about a man hiding flowers behind his back? Well nothing. Except that it is an incomplete picture. Valentine's Day isn't supposed to be just about men giving women flowers. It's supposed to be about love, and love requires action. So a true picture should show the man with the flowers and the woman with, I don't know, a pie? And love is not all about gifts or food, either. It's about selflessness and sacrifice and speaking love in a language that the person understands. (See The Five Love Languages.) Love is mutual.

I also believe that society demeans men overall. Why are we reducing men to machines that can only deliver flowers, or that need to deliver flowers or other pleasantries on Valentine's Day to show love? Still other popular advertisements debase men to the status of purely physical creatures that go after women because they have tacos in their purse, or are wearing a certain perfume. Really? 

I have a lot of good men in my life, men who yes, sometimes, give me flowers, but who also love me in a lot of other really important ways. They encourage me. They pray for me. They compliment me. They help me calm down when I'm anxious. They change the oil in my car. They fix flat tires. They recognize when something is important to me and support me in doing it. And maybe that's why I'm so sensitive to the way that culture depicts men.

Men matter. I could go into why they matter not just to me, but to the health of society overall, but that is a topic for another post. For now, I'd like to express gratitude to all the great guys in my life, and encourage you to do the same. Let's start building up those around us and loving them well, because that's biblical and godly, and what we need to do if we want healthy, strong relationships.

Why I Might Celebrate February 14th After All

I hate Valentine's Day: the often fake sentiment, the commercialism, the guilt-tripping, the needless cheap products, the sensuality, the sex. But Mom reminded me recently that God showed up for me in a very real way thirteen years ago on Valentine's Day. I'd forgotten, but I need to remember.

My middle school and high school years were dark for many reasons. I didn't really know or love myself. I certainly didn't believe others loved me, either, even my parents. I somehow believed that God could love me, though, so I'd pray and pray for signs that He did, and He in His grace, would show up. I don't know how many times I prayed for God to show His love to me while doing my job of cleaning a family's home, but over and over again, I'd come home with loads of hand-me-down designer clothes as a result.

Then there was Valentine's Day 2006. I'd visited a certain university a few weeks earlier. I felt uncomfortable there at first, but then decided I wanted to go. The price tag made that an an realistic goal, however. My dad said, “If God wants you to go, you'll go.” I believed him in theory, but waved him off, thinking that God wouldn't come through for me. But on Valentine's Day 2006, I got call from my dad's work telling me I'd won a $10,000 scholarship. Ten-thousand dollars. That alone wasn't enough to get me through, but somewhere in there, I also got a call that the school was giving me a half tuition scholarship. So I was going to my school of choice. It was pretty miraculous.

I honestly don't remember much of that day, or that season. Mom said when they asked me why all that happened on Valentine's Day, I told her that it was so I knew God loved me. I didn't know that then the way I do now, but I want to remember.

God is not a cuddly God. He's not about lacy hearts or frilly cards or three foot tall stuffed animals. But He is about love. He loves us even at our most unlovable (Rom 5:8). He loves us not because we've earned it or deserve it, but because He is love (1 John 4:16). He shows up in love not because He has to, but because He wants to.

So although I hate Valentine's Day, I'm choosing to celebrate February 14^th this year, as a remembrance of what God has done through love in my life, as and a testimony to what he wants to do in the lives of all.

“For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again” (2 Cor 5:14-15).

May I love God more deeply this year, and may His love in me spill over into the lives of the people I love, for God's honor and glory.

Why I Don't Plan to Celebrate Valentine's Day

I don't plan to celebrate Valentine's this year. I'm single and always have been. And I've celebrated Valentine's Day in the past as a single person. But this year, I'm just over it. 

Why am I over Valentine's Day this year? Because it's become so laden with commercialism and expectations. Men are expected to buy their women flowers and chocolate. Women are expected to dress up and be super "sexy." (I'll never forget the day a women came into JCPenney desperate to find a certain type of lingerie on Valentine's Day. As an employee, I had to tell her that we didn't have it. And I felt so bad for her because she was obviously trying to live up to some kind of expectation, whether hers or someone else's.) And is that what love is? I don't think so.

My parents have been married a lot of years, and sometimes Dad gets Mom flowers on Valentine's Day. But most of the time not. Instead, he shows her his love a thousand ways throughout the year. He buys her the special kind of dark chocolate she likes. He picks out movies to watch with her. He takes her out to eat. And he does "non-romantic" things with her, too, like grocery shopping and going to the doctor and working in the yard. That's more of what love is to me.

Love is non-romantic, too. That's what I've focused on when I celebrated Valentine's Day in the past. I wrote notes to friends, sent cards to my family, and ate special dinners with people I cared about. I love lots of people in non-romantic ways, but that's a throughout the year kind of love, too.

My dad has occasionally bought me flowers on Valentine's Day, and if he does that again this year, I'll be thankful. (Update: He gave Mom and I cards, coffee, and chocolate yesterday before I had a chance to post this.) But I'm more grateful for the ways that my family shows me love on a day-in, day-out basis. Like when Mom puts away dishes for me or leaves dinner for me on the stove long after she and Dad have eaten. When Dad offers to squeegee the sap off my car windows or change my oil, I feel loved. When my parents comes home with random gifts like these sneaker boots, I feel loved.

I'm thankful for the love of friends, too. Like the package that came to me with a cactus bag that my best friend bought for me on her trip to Australia. Or the handwritten letters from another friend. Or Facebook messages from someone I haven't heard from in awhile.

Love is so much bigger than Valentine's Day, and that's why I'm not focusing on the holiday this year. I'm planning to go to a training for work and come home and love on and appreciate my family like I should do every day. When the urge comes to do something kind for them, to cook, or clean, or buy gifts, or say, "I love you," I will. Because that's a true, enduring love instead of a transient one.

Friends, what do you plan to do for Valentine's Day? If you plan to celebrate, great! I'd be interested in hearing about how you make the day special.

If like me, you don't celebrate Valentine's Day, how do you show love to those around you? Please share in the comments section.