Real Life Marriage: We Are Family!

I looked at the name scrawled in black sharpie against the cooler sitting in my parents' garage and thought, "Who is that?" And then I realized, "Oh yeah, that's their last name, my OLD last name." Somewhere between getting married and year six or seven, I actually started seeing myself titled by my married name, and somehow, that made my maiden name seem foreign.

I chose to take my husband's last name when we got married. It is not something all women do, and honestly, it was a bit of a pain. My name change required not only a Social Security alteration, but also a change to my professional licensure (which might have been just as much or more of a pain). Changing was name symbolized new life, however, and that is what I saw myself beginning when I got married, so I made the outward change.

It is not that the name change suddenly made me only a part of my husband's families. I think I am still getting to know them and learning my place in them. It is just that somehow, over the course of marriage, my husband has become my family. He is my home. Thought we are very different, we belong together, and I just cannot see it any other way.

Some people see family as a mom, dad, kids, and relatives. For my husband and I, it is just the two of us, but we are family, nonetheless. We are bonded, a unit, and by God's grace, may man not turn it asunder (King James Version 1987, Matthew 19:6).

Reference:

King James Bible. (1987). Bible gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/King-James-Version-KJV-Bible/

The Crystallized Moments of 2025

So many moments from this year...these are the ones that stuck with me.

See here for 2024 list.

Meeting pro athletes at the Hoka group run

PRing at the Mesa 10K



Brunching with my husband after Pat's Run



The privilege of being a Sparkle Runner at the Girls on the Run 5K



The feeling of flying as I ran the Bay Bridge Half Marathon



Catching snow in Big Bear

Reuniting with my parents in Texas

Dinner with my hubby after Global Running Day



Ringing the PR gong in the rain with my bestie's baby

The stunning beauty of the Traverse Mountain Half Marathon

The ease of a relaxed and quiet dinner with my in-laws over Thanksgiving

Lake Mead views



It's been a good one: Lots of running, lots of time with my love; family time.... Thank the good Lord, the author of "every good and perfect gift!" (English Standard Version, 2019, James 1:17).

Reference:

English Standard Version. (2019). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/#copy

Living Well

It is no coincidence that I was in the middle of listening to a podcast about longevity when my Granddad went to glory. I had also been talking to my mom about health when we last visited. She relayed some of the habits she saw people her age doing in order to maintain their health. I admired how she and my dad were trying to take a moderate approach: walking daily, taking their vitamins and supplements, trying to keep their prescriptions as few as possible, and eating healthy while not giving up everything they loved. I relayed how I now often drink out of plastic water bottles (something over which I once panicked), go out to get hamburgers (my husband's favorite food) pretty frequently, and buy foods that (gasp!) contain preservatives when I can't find other options, or just can't be bothered to look. Losing Granddad made me reconsider all this, not from a perspective of wanting to change any of my habits, but from the perspective that nothing can extend life forever. Living in a sin-stained world means we will all die.

If I am going to die, though, I want to live well. Granddad did that. He exercised, walking and doing calisthenics into his nineties. Even from the wheelchair which confined him these past few years, he tried to engage in activities like bowling with his nursing home cohorts. Granddad took his vitamins and prescriptions. He wore hearing aids. He also ate dessert with almost every lunch, and when he could no longer cook for himself, he ate the food his nursing home prepared for him.

I think Granddad's healthy habits helped him live long, and that is saying something considered that he nearly died of an appendicitis in his middle adult year. He traveled to I don't know how many countries, and to most of the continents. He helped build the home in which he and my nana lived for most of their later years. He moved he and Nana cross country when it came time to leave that home. He cared for Nana up until the last few months of her life, which involved doing all of the household chores, as well as carrying her from room to room when she needed to move. He survived prostate issues as well as the removal of a cantaloupe-sized mass from his abdomen. He drove up until my parents moved him into assisted living, and then long-term care. He lived a good life, until he didn't, falling so often that he needed to be confined to a wheelchair and then lost his strength to walk.

Maybe it's morbid to relay the fact that Granddad's healthy living didn't save him, but I think that's the point. He cared for himself the best he could, given the circumstances, but that wasn't his life. His life was in Jesus. His live was caring for others. He lived well, not because he focused on some wellness regimen for longevity, but because he valued life and lived it to its fullest.

I was not thinking of Granddad when I wrote on my birthday that I wanted to reclaim my life, but that goal seems even more appropriate after losing Granddad. Only God knows the number of years we will get on this earth. For Granddad it was 94. For me, it may be more or less. Either way, I want to make those years count!

Living my life needs to involve some matter of self-care, but for me, living my life may mean that I actually get a few less years out of it, if living more years requires living a constrained, overly regimented life. That's okay with me. If I live every day to its fullest, I will have a full life. That's what I want, in Granddad's honor, and for God's glory.

So if you see me over here running races that perhaps aren't the best for my health, or eating one too many hamburgers, know I am good for it. If my body doesn't look quite as fit as I could, but I am taking care of it in a moderate way, see that this is not my top priority. My top priorities are loving God, loving people, and enjoying life, supplements included only if they contribute to the above goals.

When You're Losing a Loved One (And They're Still Here)

I have lost a variety of loved ones over the course of my life. Some have been family. Some have been friends. Some have been friends that felt like family. Several I have lost before it seemed like time to lose them. Some I have lost while they were still on earth. Losing the people we love is extremely difficult, whether they are still living, or actually dead. Sometimes I lose people to relationship struggles and they cut me off. Sometimes the person loses capacity due to a physical health issue (such as a stroke that affects speech). Sometimes the person becomes a shell of their former selves due to a neurological or mental health condition (eg Alzheimer's or a mental illness). It's hard. It's still a loss.

In the midst of some of these losses, I received some wise counsel. "Who they are now does not take away from who they were," he said. Another time, he said, "You've done enough." Those words have stuck with me.

When I feel grief over "loss" of a loved one who is still here, I feel that I have lost all that they are/were. It almost feels worse that if they died, because if they died, I would still have those memories. Now, it feels like something else is replacing those good times. To the counsel I received, though, change cannot take people away from us. That includes both physical death and emotional/mental/relational death. We can choose what to hold onto. I am learning to choose to remember the good, and let the rest go.

As I learn to grieve people who are still here, I wonder if some of those people grieve, too. Maybe they grieve the decision that separated them from us, temporarily or permanently. If they realize they are losing cognitive faculties, they may grieve that loss, too. Or maybe they want to keep their mood regulated, but cannot. They may grieve the loss of their self-control, or even the personality they once had. They may grieve themselves.

Grief is a thing, whether I am grieving a person still here, gone to be with the Lord, or gone someone else. I can even grieve loss of my former self. Nothing can truly take away the past. I can choose to remember it. I can choose not to let today steal the joy of yesterday. I can choose to acknowledge the former good of a person, even if things are not good now. I can choose to see the person as good, even if they are not able to act good or be good to me now.

The Last One

God often ministers to my heart through music. The day after my granddad died, the song I woke up was,"The Wise Man Built His House:"

The wise man built his house upon the Rock,
The wise man built his house upon the Rock,
The wise man built his house upon the Rock...

[And] the house on the Rock stood firm.

(Omley, 1948).

Granddad was our last living grandparent (at least on my side of the family). Losing him was sobering, not only because of his personal loss, but because of the loss of our last tie to that generation. As I considered this loss, though, I realized that it does not have to be final. We who know Jesus will see Granddad again in heaven, and we who are living have the opportunity to carry on his legacy.

Granddad read and studied his Bible daily. It was he who started our family on a read through the Bible in a year plan. Although I don't personally follow this, I did get my start on the amended plan Granddad made just for us kids when we were growing up. 

Granddad prayed, not just daily, but unceasingly. He had to give up more and more of his possessions as he transitioned into needing more and more care, but what he kept was his pictures. He would look through them time and time again. While he could not correctly name all the faces, on my last visit, he told me about how he prayed for those people. I believe him! 

My mom is a prayer warrior, having taken part in corporate prayer through Moms in Prayer for years. She still participates in that ministry, and often brings others into it. Although I am not a mom and not part of that group, I try to maintain a weekly time devoted to more intense prayer. Recognizing the link to my granddad motivates me to Lord willing, keep that up.

Granddad and Nana were married over fifty years. After Nana died in 2015, Granddad never remarried. In fact, I think he wore his wedding ring right up to the end (as did she). While I know their marriage was not perfect, they set an example of commitment for all of us who follow behind them. Staying married honors God and honors them.

There are other things that live on past Granddad and Nana, too. My little brother plays the flute, as Granddad did. My mom plays the piano, as Nana did. We have stories and photos left behind from my granddad's aviation adventures, as well as some Waorani/Auca spears he got when he met members of the tribe who killed five missionaries before coming to know Jesus. I was blessed to get the stone from the ring with which my Granddad proposed, the stone that my nana wore all through her marriage. Granddad's tidiness and fastidiousness lives on in several of us, but I will only call out myself. None of us are Granddad, but together, through all of us, he lives on.

Granddad lives on not because of any certain health or even spiritual habits. He lives on because he built his house on the Rock of Jesus Christ. Ultimately, Jesus is and will be the last one. He was the last sacrifice for sin (English Standard Version, 2016, Hebrews 10:10). He is timeless, the first and the last (English Standard Version, 2016, Revelation 1:17). Granddad's life pointed us to Him, and for that, I will be forever grateful!

References:

English Standard Version. (2019). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/#copy

Omley, A. (1948). The wise man built his house. Timeless truths. https://library.timelesstruths.org/music/The_Wise_Man_and_the_Foolish_Man/

A Tribute to My Granddad

My granddad was a great navigator, able to read the clouds and move around and through storms, able to locate and set down a small Helio plane on tiny mountain airstrips. And now he’s home, the direction his heart has always pointed.

Granddad grew up an athlete. He wanted to run in college, but when that dream failed due to struggles with illness, he attended Bible school instead. He dreamed of becoming a pilot, but couldn’t enter the Air Force because of his susceptibility to bronchitis. He committed his life to full-time Christian service, believing that he belonged to the Lord, and that if the Lord wanted his dreams to happen, they would.

Granddad met my nana at a Wycliffe school in Norman, Oklahoma. He didn’t pursue her before first asking her age. Gentleman that he was, he wanted to make sure he was being appropriate in his pursuit. He spent further time with Nana at Jungle Camp in Mexico and there proposed to her. Nana’s mom, Sarah (my namesake) gave him her diamond for Nana’s engagement ring. God did provide for Granddad to become a pilot. Wycliffe needed jungle pilots and Granddad became the only pilot Wycliffe ever paid to train.

Granddad was circling for a while. I noticed in Thanksgiving 2022 when I called him on the phone. He kept repeating himself, but he was repeating over and over that we should thank the Lord. I could not complain. I knew he was slipping when he called my cell phone and talked to me like my mom, his daughter. He did not quite get details of my life right when he realized who he was talking to, but he remembered my husband's career, and that made me smile.

I saw him last December 28, 2023. He was sitting in a wheelchair in his nursing home room. He did not quite remember who I was, but I think he eventually got it. We spent the hour I was there looking at family photos. He got several names wrong, but still seemed to remember who went with whom. He noted that he liked pictures because it reminded him to pray. It was music to my ears when he read scriptures aloud from some of the cards on his dresser.

When I went to go, Granddad tried several times to lift himself out of his wheelchair. “I want to walk you out,” he said. I reassured him that it was not necessary, that he could rest.
As I turned to close his doors, I heard him say, “I guess I won't be seeing you again.” Tears sprung to my eyes. I was not sure if he meant on my current visit, or eternity, and to comfort him, I replied about the present moment.

“No, I have to fly home soon,” I said.

I knew that most likely that I would not see him again, though, at least this side of heaven and I didn't. He took a short flight home to glory on Saturday, May 31^st, after a rapid decline in health experienced the day before.

Granddad is now a citizen a citizen of heaven. He has landed and is finally home. Though I will see him here on earth no more, I have confidence that I will see after I, too, take my final flight. Granddad trusted Jesus as his Savior and in part because of the legacy he left his family, I do, too.

The Shaping Hands of Mothers

The older I get, the more I realize I have been shaped by my mom. Although I am not a mom, I have faith in Jesus because of my mom. I value homecooking because of my mom. My mom taught me to budget shop and save money. My mom continually models selfless service and sacrifice. My mom is a faithful prayer warrior and a steady encourager. My mom is a great nana to my brother's kids and so thoughtful in the way that she interacts with them. My mom is wise in all areas, and especially in health. My mom knows the Bible inside and out and models regular time in it. My mom walks daily, even though she has pain. My mom is a beautiful pianist and taught me how to play the piano. My mom can sing harmony with or without music, and knows hundreds of hymns. My mom works tirelessly, sometimes to her own detriment, but because she values excellence. I love my mom and I am so thankful for her!

Now that I am married, I am shaped by my mother-in-laws. I have spent less time with them than with my own mom, but I am shaped by the vast quantities of time I spend with their son, my husband. They value communication and joy. They like to celebrate holidays. They have shaped my husband into a flexible, empathetic, caring human who cares for me. They have taught him about food and travel and appreciating the little things. My life is enriched because of the ways that they enriched the life of my husband. 

I give thanks for the other mothers in my life, too: for my sister-in-law for the great wife she is to my brother, and the great mother she is to my adorable niece and nephew. She is so creative and caring! It gives me great joy to see the ways that she is raising them in the Lord. 

On the other side of my family, I have sisters-in-laws who share family recipes and teach me about the culture of my husband's family. They bring to me experiences that are meaningful to my husband, and enrich my life. Thank you, sisters-in-law!

I value my friends who are mothers, too. They give and sacrifice and give some more. What a delight to see them also raising their children to know Jesus!

So on this Mother's Day, I give thanks to God for all the mother's in my circle: my own mother, my husband's mothers, my sister-in-law, and my friends who are mothers. You are all doing a great job, and I send all of you my love.

Happy Mother's Day!

The Crystallized Moments of 2024

The year passes, and then there are those moments that stay with me, that I replay over and over again. Here is a non-conclusive list of those moments in 2024.

(See here for my 2023 list.)

Tromping through the soggy grass on very sore legs with my parents and husband post marathon

Running an out-of-this-world, unexpected personal record time at Pat's Run

Fan-girling over meeting fourth place Olympics Marathon Trials Finisher Jess Tonn

Standing around with my husband's friends waiting for him after commencement

Sunset sailing with my love in Bermuda on our fifth wedding anniversary

Hugs at my parents' going away party

Surprising my sister-in-law in Walmart when I went to visit my parents (no photos to respect privacy)

Getting together with my college friends after five long years apart (no photos to respect privacy)

Running into my husband's arms post marathon

I am sure I could write much more, but for now, this is a list of great moments. See my post later today for what you all most enjoyed reading on the blog this year

Merry Christmas!

A little Christmas poem inspired by cross-country texts about our Christmas Eve breakfasts:

Carrot cake in a bowl

Or egg in a hole:

The choice is up to you. 

It depends on your needs

And what else you have to do.

But whatever the case,

I hope you have a smile on your face.

It’s Christmas Eve 

And you better believe

It’s a day worth celebrating

No matter your breakfast.

Christ came to earth

Through virgin birth

As a baby boy

To give us great joy.

Eat, drink, and be merry,

For our sins He did carry

To make for us an eternal home

Where we won’t care about meals,

But will instead worship Jesus, in person, for real!

Merry Christmas Eve to all.

May we all heed heaven’s call

To enjoy the gifts of today

Even as we await the greatest gift—

Days eternal in heaven

With Christ Jesus our Lord!

40 Years of Faithfulness

My parents celebrate 40 years of marriage today. What faithfulness! What commitment! Praise be to God! In honor of this occasion, here are 40 gifts that my parents' marriage has given to me:

1. Teaching me about Jesus
2. The practice of scripture recitation
3. Demonstrating the importance of Bible reading
4. Frequently incorporation of prayer
5. A valuation of missions work
6. Appreciation of home-cooked meals (Yes, even Dad's breakfast special of refrigerator biscuits, bacon, egg, and cheese counts because he made it at home!)
7. Provision of a stable home life, something a lot of children rarely have these days.
8. Two caregivers when I was sick
9. The benefits of two protectors
10. A real-life definition of a biblical marriage
11. A balance of male and female input in my life
12. Showing me what a godly husband should be
13. Giving me an example of a godly wife
14. Providing not one, but two prayer warriors
15. Showing me two different cultures
16. Modeling what it looks like to grow together over the years
17. Vetted marriage resources
18. The sharing of personal marriage advice
19. Words of wisdom
20. Gentle rebuke and correction
21. Laughter
22. Love
23. The conviction divorce was not an option in a godly marriage
24. Never discussing divorce in front of me
25. Persistance
26. A strong work ethic
27. A stubborn will to succeed (those sometimes it does bite me)
28. Love of the outdoors
29. Timeless music
30. Hymn playing and singing
31. Thriftiness
32. A desire to do things myself when and where I can
33. Siblings
34. A routine of churchgoing
35. The tradition of Saturday morning pancakes
36. Many great family recipes
37. Great books
38. Creativity
39. Play
40. Enjoyment of family games (Skip-Bo, Othello, Rook, Monopoly, etc.)

Thank you, Mom and Dad for your commitment to Jesus, and to each other. Happy anniversary!

Home

I had it pulled up for weeks, the Zillow page for this house I have never seen, never visited. This home that once belonged to other people, but now sat empty, waiting. It was not my home, but now it is home, not for me, but for my people.

My parents made it known some years ago that they did not, could not, plan to stay in my teenage home forever. (Even that was not home for all of my childhood, but it was the only home we lived in long enough for me to consider it home, the only home my parents ever bought, the only home my parents ever paid off, the only home my parents owned.) They considered selling for a while, and tried, but to no avail. Then suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. They got a buyer for their house. They moved their stuff east. They went searching, and before I knew it, this house was on my phone screen, this new home for my people.

After over 25 years of my parents being in one place, it is strange to think of this new house as belonging to my parents. Their things were not in it yet. Technically, they had yet to take possession, but it was theirs, or would be theirs. Keeping the house photo up on my phone helped my brains start accepting that. 

Change is hard. I still do not see this new state as my parents' home. I see it as my brother's home. I still have not quite grasped the fact that my parents will now be two days away from me. I am used to driving north for two hours and being at their doorstep. This new house on my screen looked empty, foreign, but change happens in stages, so I left the house up, each time I saw it, reminding myself that this is now a home, not for me, but where my people will be.

Ultimately, home is not a place. It is not the old house, or this new one. It is where my heart is, and my heart is with my people, wherever they may be. Near or far, a piece of my heart goes where they are, and maybe that's part of the reason I kept looking at this house on my screen, because a part of me was moving here, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. My family is my home, and my heart moves with them,  to this house, and perhaps to another and another, until one day we all make our forever home with Jesus.

Real Life Marriage: Identity Shift

We've been married over five years now, and as the seasons shift, I am also sensing a shift in our identity as a couple. Our last close family members (my parents) left the state. We are starting to recover from our four year (plus!) grind to get my husband to graduation. We've been working at more fairly dividing our household chores for several months. And it feels like we are shifting to more of an us, not a mini his parents or my parents, but an us.

As much as I admire and respect my parents and their marriage, my husband and I are different, and we do things differently. We aren't going off the rails morally or ethically, but we communicate differently than my parents do. We divide household responsibilities differently. We practice our values differently. Sometimes we vote differently. It's us, versus a mirror image of the family in which I grew up. Honestly, that has taken some getting used to. It's probably taken some getting used to for my husband, too, as our relationship also differs from those of his parents.

Our identity is different from the culture around us. I do see my husband as the leader or our home and submit to his leadership, but we each submit to each other, too. This often results in us responding to questions of us individually, "Let me ask [spouse name]" and get back to you. We share a joint bank account. We don't count tit for tat. We are an "us," even as many couples we know live more independently, than corporately.

There is an "us" factor of the two of us being family, too. We don't have kids or pets, but we are a family. We have sometimes very separate interests, but still enjoy spending time together. We are a family. We live out our callings somewhat differently than others, with my job being at a ministry, for example, which results in us not serving in places like church. This is what it means to be us at this stage

I've heard people say before that what is most important is to get your horizontal orientation right, that is, prioritizing relationship to God above all else. By God's grace, Christ is the center of our marriage. He always will be, and in pursuing Him, we grow closer together. Horizontally, though, our marriage might not align with others. It might stick out instead of blending in. I am learning to be okay with that, because it is our marriage, not anyone else's. Not my parents', not our friends', not our churches. It is our marriage, created by God, founded in God, and lived out by us. That's our steadfast identity, one I hope that will stand amidst the shifting sands of life.

The Year God Gave Back

This time last year, we almost lost my dad. He had serious surgery, so extreme it required machines to hold onto his life while the doctors did their work. Dad came through surgery, but then had some serious complications. It was frightening. It was scary. We prayed like crazy. We begged friends and family to pray. We fought. He fought. For a time, it felt like the dad I knew was gone. I grieved. We grieved. But somehow, by God's grace, after quite a long time, and with a lot of medical intervention, we started to get back to doing our "normal" things as a family:

We visited overnight.

Dad came to cheer on my races.

We celebrated holidays.

We ate meals together.

Dad sent his funny (as well as inspiring) texts.

To misquote the old "Big Yellow Taxi" (1970) song, "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone," and man, after almost losing my dad, this year has been so meaningful! My dad is a big-hearted, kind caring, hardworking, protective, supportive, encouraging guy, and having not only this year with him, but this year with the dad I know and love has been such a blessing. Thank you, Lord, for this gift! Thank you for my dad!

--

I love you, Dad.

Happy Father's Day!

Reference:

Mitchell, J. (1970). Big yellow taxi. [Song]. Siquomb Publishing Corp.

Dearest Momma

Dearest Momma,

Though I may not be exactly like you, I like you! I know I blew you off more than a few times when I was a teenager (especially on that one college visit), and it hurt you deeply. That was more about me and my identity development than you, but I am sorry. You have done many great things in life. You are great, and I love and respect you!

I can barely keep up my household of two. I will never know how you kept a family of five going. I know I saw you tired, but you never gave up, even when you went through bouts of illness.

You are still sharp as a tack when it comes to medical stuff. I got so, so annoyed when we would go to the doctor as kids, only to have them diagnose us with what you already knew we had. I 100% believe you could have gone farther in your medical career, but you chose to mother us instead. Thank you for making that sacrifice!

I learned so much about budgeting and efficiency and saving money from you. I may do it in different ways than you, but the savvy, as well as the celebration for it definitely come from you. Thank you!

You have hung on through many difficult things in life: caring for dying patients, caretaking for family, taking flack for lots of things that are not your fault. Again, I have seen you tired, but turning to the Lord for strength and patiently enduring life's trials.

I know I hated hiking as a kid, but I treasure our hikes together now. I did not always want to look like you, but now I will be very glad if I age as well as you have. While I once questioned your classic style, now I get it. Yes to simplicity! I made fun of your floor rags and masking tape labels, but now I do the same. I am sure there are many other things I will start to do like you as I age. That's what happens when you have a good example of a mother.

Dearest Momma, I may not be just like you, but I am becoming like you, and I'm not at all upset about it. I am proud that you are my mother, and thankful and grateful to God to call myself your daughter. I love you!

Happy Mother's Day!

Easter 2024

It snowed again this Easter in Arizona. (Well, it snowed at higher elevations.)

We left beautiful weather in Mesa to travel up the hill to windy Prescott Valley to see my parents. We arrived in time to enjoy a tasty lunch at the restaurant now in the location of a place my husband and I spent some of our dating days.

We got to walk around the Prescott Courthouse Square.

After a lovely nap, I frosted our Easter cake 

and gave my mom a haircut.

While it did snow Sunday, there was no snow on the roads, so I went for a short 5K run. 

It felt warm and fun until the snow picked up and kept hitting me in the face. 

Mom managed to make some quick cinnamon raisin biscuits before going to there early church service, and I whipped up some omelets. Some sweet strawberries made for a nice garnish.

We attended our old church and saw some special friends.

Then home for our now traditional lamb shepherd's pie that my husband makes.

It was a sweet weekend. Christ is risen; He's risen indeed!

The Race of All Races (Half-Marathon #2)!

Where do I even begin? This is going to be a long post, so hold onto your hats!

I dreamed of completing this race after my first half-marathon five years ago. I put it off, saying the time in life was not right. Well, this time was not exactly right either, but after having a good 10K race last year at Mesa Marathon, and being given as a discount code as a result, I decided to go for it. 

The Training:

I started training Thanksgiving 2023. I used the First Half Marathon Training plan from Run to the Finish (2023), and I must say, I really enjoyed it! This plan contained more strength training than I have ever done in a training cycle before. I think it helped! I had some minor ball of foot pain in my left foot, and then my right foot [maybe metatarsalgia (Mayo Clinic, 2021), and towards the end, a little tightness in my right need and left ankle/Achilles, (plus a few days of upper right hamstring pain due to treadmill running six miles one day) but I made it! Praise the Lord!

The Day Before the Race:

I read different things about carb loading, but decided to try the full three-day carb load recommended by Meghann Featherstun (n.d). (I figured that I would rather do it than not do it and wonder if it could have helped.) I purposely took a day off work Thursday so that I could clean the house and do my cooking and "on my feet" stuff so that I could try to rest Friday. I ended up deciding to do a shakeout run and some errands Friday, but it was WORTH IT!

The Shake-Out Run:

My training schedule said one mile. This was three to four, but I wanted to go. Then I doubted myself. Then I wanted to go. I told myself I might regret not going if I didn't, so I went! I wasn't going to demo the new Cielo X1 racing shoes from Hoka, but then they offered me a free fanny pack so why not? When else am I going to run in $275 shoes? Probably not ever. The shakeout went great (a total of 3.32 miles) and I was a little faster running with people, and that encouraged me.

The Expo:

Mesa Marathon held the expo inside this year. Bib pickup was outside, but the timing check, photo walls, and some vendors were inside. This was a nice change given the weather. I did the passport program again, because I am a sucker for free stuff. If I am able to keep running this race and going to the expo, I might eventually earn enough points for a free entry. We will see.

Besides errands, I did set aside some time to paint my nails on Friday. I read that Shalene Flanagan used to do that on the day before a race, and so, I did, too (Sebor, 2020). I went with a color that matched what I wanted to wear and was closest to the orange color I saw on the medals. (Yes, I am that person!) 

I tried to move my meals up an hour, and with that, I was able to go to bed at 8:15 pm. Wow! I am never to bed that early unless I am sick. I did not sleep great, but I did not sleep awfully, either. In total, my watch said I got about 6 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. Pretty good given that I got up at 3:15 am!

Race morning:

I didn't have time to do much at home. I got up, washed my face and did my hair, made coffee for my husband, got dressed, did PT, and then grabbed a no bake peanut butter ball and an eight ounce bottle of water for the car and was out the door. My husband nicely drove me over to the busses, and dropped me off right in front of them, a huge blessing since it was raining!

Race day conditions: 

Not good! I checked the forecast all week and prayed for good conditions. It looked like it might rain all morning, just at the start, or before the start. In the end, conditions could have been worse, but it was mid-forties and raining and not so pleasant. I wore a tank top, hoodie, and rain jacket and stood under the heaters for as long as I could. Then, about 5:30 am, I made a bathroom stop, ate my banana and drank my water, and went for a five minute shakeout (0.47 miles). Then I started unlayering, adding arm sleeves, a garbage bag over my torso, and a hat. The race was supposed to start at 6:30 am, but got delayed until 7:00 am, and then brought back to 6:50 am. I ended up squeezing in an extra bathroom stop before the start, which I think was helpful.

Goals: 

A. Under 2 hours 9:09/mile

B. Under 1:55 8:46/mile

C. Run Hive (2024) race predictor time based on March 2023 15K and 36 years old: 1:51:04 or 1:52:45 and 8:28/mile

Course: 

Point A to Point B. (Thank you, Lord, for bag drop trucks that brought our belongings back to the finish line.) We ran through the streets of Mesa, past orange groves and homes and communities. People were out and about on the course with posters, cowbells, and shouts to encourage. One assisted living community's members were out on the sidewalks in their wheelchairs. Right towards the finish, there was a younger kid with a sign that said, "Tap here to power up." I definitely tapped for the kid! The course was well-marked and police presence was there to ensure safety. The race marked mileage well, and had a few extra signs with fun sayings to increase motivation.

Miles 1-3:

I tried to keep the pace steady and not go out too hard. Coach Elisabeth of Running Explained (2023) says to go out about 10 seconds faster than desired, so when I saw 8:40/mile and it felt good, I went with it. I decided not to run with podcasts, as I usually do, mostly because of the rain. I also wanted to soak up the scenery. I did that, as well as thinking and praying. It was truly a special time!

I grabbed water at mile two and took my berries and oats fruit puree pouch at about mile three/thirty minutes. I had to tug it out of the side pocket of my capri leggings, and when I uncapped it, some of it squirted all over my white gloves. I hoped that people would not think it was blood, especially after Fiona O'Keeffe's Olympic Trials marathon episode (Monti, 2024). I tried to hide my gloves for pictures because of this. 

Miles 4-6:

I tried to hold a steady pace and save anything I could for the end. I told myself to keep getting water at the water stations. I felt a slight tightness in my left calf and had a few side stitches, but breathed through them. [Hearing Emily Sisson talk about breathing through hers and taking second in the Olympic Trials Marathon gave me hope (Chavez, 2024).] I took a strawberry Clif gel at 60 minutes (a little after mile six), but that only to a good samaritan I asked to open it for me, as neither my cold hands nor my teeth would do it! I think I startled him a bit when I asked, as I saw him turn off his earbud and ask me what I said again. Thank you, sir, whoever you are. You saved my race!

Miles 7-10:

This was my neck of the woods, and I enjoyed running through it! I still felt good and was clocking about 8:40 miles and felt good. I told myself to pick up the pace for the last 5K, if I could. To distract myself from the pace, I tried to pick people off. Many brightly colored running outfits gave me things to work for.

Miles 10-13.1:

The end was in sight! I kept picking people off and thought of my husband and parents at the finish line. I just wanted to get to them! I let myself off my water at every stop and fuel every 30 minutes rules here and just ran! I did pickup the pace, dropping from the 8:30-8:40 minutes/mile range to 8:27, 8:24, 8:15, and 7:23 for the final kick. I was working hard at the end! Some of it was vanity, because I wanted my family to see me working hard. Some of it was wanting them to know that it was worth it for them to come out to see me, too. The finish line was a bit bunched up, but I got my medal and someone had opened the gate, so my family got into the runners area with me to get my finish certificate and drop bag.

After the Race:

I got my certificate and finished at 1:52:52, far exceeding my expectations! I wanted to see if I could get down to 8:35 minutes/mile there at the end, and I didn't quite make it officially, but my watch measured long (13.15 miles), probably because of my bobbing and weaving, and on it, I got the 8:35 minutes/mile, and I'll take it. 

Could I have run harder? Probably, but seeing that I have not run a marathon in five years, I wanted to finish, not go out hard and bonk. My calves also hurt pretty bad after I stopped, so they need some work.

As I went to have my husband take pictures of me, it started raining again, harder. (The rain had held off for most of my race). We got pretty wet going back to the car. It was a bit of a circle to get back home, but we did. I stretched, foam rolled those calves, and got dressed to go back out to brunch. Of course I got a hamburger, as is tradition. Then I came home and sat on the couch with a heating pad and blanket for most of the day. Oh, and the rain did eventually go away, letting the sun to come out. A beautiful addition to a beautiful day.

Final Thoughts:

Carb loading worked! I felt sustained energy the entire time. My heart rate was in Zone 5 the entire time, so I think I was pushing myself, but I was not breathing too hard and was even able to try to encourage a few 10K walkers as I passed them in the last few miles.

Family is everything! My husband sacrificed time, money, and so much more to support me in this. (He even ate my evening carb loading pasta meals with me without complaint!) My parents drove about two hours just to see me finish, while they had company. (Sorry cousins!) I was HEALTHY! After all the sickness I was exposed to, that was never a given. I prayed for no rain, and while the Lord did not grant that, he did grant no rain for most of my race. The marathoners had that burst of rain at their hard parts, and I imagine it was not fun.

I shivered for several hours after the race, and not because I was cold anymore. Was it the caffeine? Or as my mom suggested, the endorphins of running? I am not sure, but something to monitor for the future.

All in all, it was an amazing day! Better than I could have hoped or dreamed. Thank you, Lord! Thank you family! Thank you to my home city of Mesa, Arizona for putting on a great race!

References:

Brooks, A. (2023, March 9). Half marathon training schedule: Transition from the 10K to half. Run to the Finish. https://www.runtothefinish.com/half-marathon-training-schedule/

Chavez, C. (Host). (2024, February 7). Emily Sisson after finishing second at the 2024 US Olympic Marathon Trials (2:22:42). [Audio podcast episode]. In The CITIUS MAG podcast with Chris Chavez. https://citiusmag.com/podcast/citius-mag-podcast-emily-sisson-2024

Featherstun, M. (n.d.). Carb loading: What, why, and how-to. Featherstone Nutrition. https://www.featherstonenutrition.com/carb-loading/

Mayo Clinic. (2021, November 1). Metatarsalgia. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/metatarsalgia/symptoms-causes/syc-20354790

Monti, D. (2024). Mantz, O'Keeffe win thrilling Olympic Trials marathon-RRW. Dye Stat. https://www.dyestat.com/gprofile.php?mgroup_id=44531&do=news&news_id=667933

Run Hive. (2024). Race time predictor. https://runhive.com/tools/race-time-predictor

Scott, E. [@runningexplained]. (2023, August 2). One of the biggest pacing mistakes in racing is going out too fast. Often our goal in the half marathon [Post]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cvcqr-GLcLw/

Sebor, J. (2020, January 6). What Olympian Shalene Flanagan does before every race. Women's Running. https://www.womensrunning.com/culture/shalane-flanagan-before-racing/