A Case for Not Commenting on People's Outward Appearances

Someone walked into church the other day, and I immediately noticed that he had lost a substantial amount of weight. He seemed healthy and happy, but then I wondered, "Is he really?" While I do believe that each person has bodily autonomy and can do what they want with their own body (without hurting others), I also believe that our culture also focuses way too much on outward appearances. Though a person may look like they are on a journey to get healthier no one really knows what is happening on the inside. I would argue that what is happening on the inside is what really matters.

A lot of people are fighting battles no one knows, battles that don't present with the same "halo effect" of weight loss. What about the woman facing fertility struggles, doing everything in her body and mind to get pregnant? What about the man facing prostrate cancer, getting radioactive treatment that, at least for a while, has no outward signs? What about the person vigilantly monitoring supplement intake in order to overcome a nutrient deficiency? What about people like me trying to gain weight in order to heal a health condition? Does culture complement any of us?

Plato is said to have written, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." I wish we could take this into account. What if, instead of looking at people, we asked how they were doing? What if instead of complimenting weight loss, we asked how people were feeling? What if we stopped complimenting people on their bodies, and instead affirmed their character? We never know if changes in one's body are intentional, either (Depth Counseling, 2025). The person could be dieting, or they could be sick. Yes, I believe we should steward our bodies and take good care of them, but I also wish our culture would stop focusing so much on them.

There is more to life than the body: mind, soul, spirit; relationships, hopes, dreams, fears. Can we give the body comments a break, and instead focus on the humans inhabiting those bodies? I think our holistic health as a society would be a whole lot better for it!

Reference:

Depth Counseling. (2025, April 8). A case for not commenting on people's weight loss. https://depthcounseling.org/blog/a-case-for-not-commenting-on-peoples-weight-loss