A Case for Not Commenting on People's Outward Appearances

Someone walked into church the other day, and I immediately noticed that he had lost a substantial amount of weight. He seemed healthy and happy, but then I wondered, "Is he really?" While I do believe that each person has bodily autonomy and can do what they want with their own body (without hurting others), I also believe that our culture also focuses way too much on outward appearances. Though a person may look like they are on a journey to get healthier no one really knows what is happening on the inside. I would argue that what is happening on the inside is what really matters.

A lot of people are fighting battles no one knows, battles that don't present with the same "halo effect" of weight loss. What about the woman facing fertility struggles, doing everything in her body and mind to get pregnant? What about the man facing prostrate cancer, getting radioactive treatment that, at least for a while, has no outward signs? What about the person vigilantly monitoring supplement intake in order to overcome a nutrient deficiency? What about people like me trying to gain weight in order to heal a health condition? Does culture complement any of us?

Plato is said to have written, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." I wish we could take this into account. What if, instead of looking at people, we asked how they were doing? What if instead of complimenting weight loss, we asked how people were feeling? What if we stopped complimenting people on their bodies, and instead affirmed their character? We never know if changes in one's body are intentional, either (Depth Counseling, 2025). The person could be dieting, or they could be sick. Yes, I believe we should steward our bodies and take good care of them, but I also wish our culture would stop focusing so much on them.

There is more to life than the body: mind, soul, spirit; relationships, hopes, dreams, fears. Can we give the body comments a break, and instead focus on the humans inhabiting those bodies? I think our holistic health as a society would be a whole lot better for it!

Reference:

Depth Counseling. (2025, April 8). A case for not commenting on people's weight loss. https://depthcounseling.org/blog/a-case-for-not-commenting-on-peoples-weight-loss

Weight Gain As A Runner

And it turns out, I need an even bigger body to accomplish my goals. I thought I was fueling well. I thought I was eating enough, given that my weight was stable, if not going up. But it turns out my body needed more, a lot more.

The little bit of weight gain I experienced while marathon training? Well, that was probably due to the training, as a small weight gain is related to higher metabolism, hydration, and training (1HUTTBOLE, 2026). Two to five pounds during a marathon training cycle reflects muscle mass, more glycogen, and more water stored with that glycogen (Gaudette, 2026). It turns out that my body needed more actual weight, though. It needed more weight to feel safe, to protect itself. I was fearing weight gain more than injury, and then the injury happened (Sekely, 2026). I never intended to set out on this journey to build a bigger body, but my stress fracture brought me to it, and I hope nutrition and weight gain will bring me through it.

It turns out that being heavier is actually better for my skeleton. "Being lighter doesn’t necessarily mean you’re putting 'less stress' on your skeleton especially if it means you’re falling into a state of low energy availability" says Registered Dietitian Serena Marie (2026). While I was not intentionally in a state of low energy availability, that was the only cause medical professionals could hypothesize as a cause of my injury. Additionally, my bone density was lower than "normal," and the only way to fix that was to gain weight in order to increase load on the bone (Haver, 2026). Then I had to grow bigger muscles to support that bone. And so I set out to do what the professionals told me: Eat in an energy surplus and then lift heavy.

It was not fun or easy to eat like a marathoner while not running. I guess I thought if I was in an energy deficit, my body would course correct as I ate more. Not so. It turns out that my body, just wanted to gain weight, and that weight gain happened quickly. I wrestled with it greatly. My clothes did not fit the same. I felt gross. I started to not recognize my body. Apparently this period of weight gain is something that happens to a lot of runners as they start to fuel correctly (Alm, 2026). I just started running a lot later in my life, and so the associated weight gain and body changes had to come later, when I already had a long history with a different body.

I will be honest that I initially fought the body changes, but I realized I could not continue living at war with myself every single day. So I had to change my goals. I had to change my goals to be to see how strong I could get, regardless of body size. I had to accept that I might need to buy all new clothes. I had to decide to live for my future self and not just my comfortable now self.

I have hopes that there are more running adventures (and maybe even more personal records?) on the other side of this. I have read stories where this is true (Amy Elizabeth, 2026, Infeld, 2024; Infeld, 2025; Quiet-Painting3, 2025; Run_Fast3r, 2023). But more than anything, I want to be healthy. I want to run longer. And I hope, to learn to accept myself in new ways. To quote Therapist Emily Brazier (2025), "So yeah, my body has changed. But so have I." I hope I get to the point that she did to say, "And I’m really proud of both."

So here's to the weight gain. Here's to the change. Lord help me! 

References:

Alm, M. [Host]. (2026, June 19). Q&A with Maddie - 32. [Audio podcast episode]. In Fueling Forward. https://rss.com/podcasts/fuelingforwardpodcast/2925615/

Amy Elizabeth. [@TinkGoesToArizona]. 2:59 → 2:44 On Monday in Boston, I closed the chapter on every PR I set while underweight.I’m a completely [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DXfIacWgXvS/). 

Brazier, E. (@_healingwithemily_). Let’s be honest, my body has changed… a lot. And I’d be lying if I said I don’t still have [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DX2ZyyUinlj/

Gaudette, J. (2026, April 29). Weight gain during marathon training: 3 causes explained. Runners Connect. https://runnersconnect.net/weight-gain-marathon-training/

Haver, M. C. (2026). The new perimenopause: An evidence-based guide to surviving the zone of chaos and feeling like yourself again. Rodale books.

Infeld, E. [@EmilyInfeld]. (2024, February 21). PSA to runners - skinnier is not faster! I get so sad when younger runners are worried about their weight and [Video]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3oH6lGApVb/

Infeld, E. [@EmilyInfeld]. (2025, November 17)). I didn’t get faster by getting smaller — I got faster by fueling. My running has never been defined by how [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DRLKoDKEoWa/

1HUTTBOLE. (2026). Does anyone else gain weight when running more? [Online forum post.]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/Ultramarathon/comments/1r6fcte/does_anyone_else_gain_weight_when_running_more/

Quiet-Painting3. (2025). I’ve found fueling to be the key for me. It allows me to train and recover better. I haven’t weighed  [Comment on the online forum post Getting faster despite having a heavier scale weight.]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/XXRunning/comments/1kzrewv/getting_faster_despite_having_a_heavier_scale/

Run_Fast3r. (2023). Extra weight won’t slow you down unless you gain too much body fat. Gaining weight by lifting weights and eating [Comment on the online form post Gaining weight as a distance runner]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/trackandfield/comments/12vgq6e/gaining_weight_as_a_distance_runner/

Serena Marie. [@SerenaMarieRD]. (2026, May 1). Being lighter doesn’t necessarily mean you’re putting “less stress” on your skeleton esp if it means you’re falling into a [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DXzAUV6R_rV/)

Sekely, V. (@trainsmartrunstrong). (2026, May 6). Gna hold your hand when I say this… [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DYAGOKekRIk/?img_index=2

A Lot of Thoughts About GLP-1s

I’m sitting in the lobby of the orthopedic doctor trying to mind my own business, but unable to help overhearing the conversation between what appear to be a middle-aged dad and his wife. Two young boys sit between them. Neither the man nor the woman appear to be of size, though the woman might possess a little more padding than the man. What are they talking about? From the words I catch, GLP-1s, how they help people lose weight, and how with “coaching,” ensure that people keep the weight off and stay "healthy." And here I sit, leaning toward the right side, trying to balance on my right butt cheek, so as to avoid pressure on my pelvis, where I have what x-rays shows as a fracture, what I believe to be a bone-stress injury due to overtraining and suboptimal fueling. I expect to be pretty grounded soon, doing a lot less exercise, and needing to eat a whole lot more so that my body will heal, so needless to say, this conversation does not sit well with me. Furthermore, I wonder what this conversation is doing to the two young boys sitting between this man and woman. They appear slight and thin, as many children are when they are active and still growing. One of the boys wears a yellow bracelet around his wrist. I assume it to be a hospital bracelet, and that the adults are here because of him, but who am I to know? What I do know is that the adults are not focused on the kids. They are focused on this conversation about weight loss, one I’d rather not be hearing, and one that, even though I don't know them, I’d rather these young boys not be hearing, either.

As I look around me on the world, I see lots of people with what appears to be “Ozempic face,” that tight, drawn look, that accompanies rapid weight loss (Cleveland Health Clinic, n.d.). I see people receiving attention and praise for their weight loss, and I wonder, “Are they really happy? Are they safe? Is this sustainable for them?" It's like these drugs are a status symbol. The wealthy, the really disciplined, the "good" people take these drugs, and the rest of people, well, they are somehow not good enough, sub-optimal.

I recognize that GLP-1 drugs have a purpose. I have family, and, I assume, friends, that I know benefit from them. In a world focused on external looks and obsessed with thinness, however, I don’t appreciate the spotlight or health halo that culture is giving these drugs (Pugh, 2024). It is making them less available to those people who really need them to treat their conditions, and leading to conversations like the one I overheard at the orthopedic office becoming commonplace.

What will become of our world as more and more people take GLP-1s? Will everyone feel the pressure to be skinny? Will sunken faces just become the norm? What about our children? What about people for whom these drugs don't work, leaving them swimming in an even greater sea of shame related to their body and health conditions? What about people like me, who need to fuel a lot in order to heal injuries, do sports, or just stay healthy? What will happen if these drugs somehow become unavailable? What if these drugs have horrific long term side effects about which we do not yet know?

Please hear me when I say I am not trying to be critical of people taking these drugs for legitimate medical reasons. I guess I just want to call into question the ubiquity of them, and ask people to do some critical thinking before hopping right on train to the injectable weight loss drug station. Weight loss is not for everyone. These drugs are not for everyone. Maybe let's keep discussions about prescription medication inside the doctor's examination rooms, and out of the waiting areas and other mainstream arenas of life. There is so much more to life than weight and body shape, and well, some of us are trying to push thoughts of weight out of our thoughts to focus on well, life, and the many things that living in a body means, regardless of the way that body appears, or weighs out on the scale.

References:

Cleveland Health Clinic. (n.d.). https://health.clevelandclinic.org/ozempic-face. 'Ozempic face': What it is and how to avoid it

Pugh, T. (2024, January 22). Everyone around me is losing weight. Terri Pugh. https://terripugh.com/Everyone-around-me-is-losing-weight/

Dispelling the Myths: Runners Can Eat Whatever They Want.

Runners can eat whatever they want. 

You run a lot. 

That's how you stay so thin. 

False. False. False. If running a half-marathon taught me anything (it taught me a lot of things), it taught me even more the importance of nutrition. And I'm talking eating right, eating a lot, and eating to run, not running to eat.

I found out very quickly that running made me, hungry very hungry. I sometimes tried to practice "self-control," but then I kept reading about how running can damage your hormones, lower your immunity, create injury, etc. if I didn't eat right. So I ate. A lot. Like handfuls of granola and nuts after my morning bowl of oatmeal. Like lots of red meat. (Thanks to reading Run Fast, Eat Slow.) Like protein bars and gels, which I know can "make you fat," (but they didn't-they gave me energy). I decided that even if I did eat so much I gained weight, I'd rather gain weight and run than not run and not gain weight. (Running is good for my mental health, I've found.)

I wanted to eat sugar, but it seemed to lower my immunity and made me feel yucky. So I turned to whole food and more savory stuff. I sometimes wanted to skip carbs, but that didn't work so well, so I added in more carbs. I often stayed up late eating a big nighttime snack to make sure my belly was full and ready to run the next morning. I found out the hard way that I needed to stay on top of my long run hunger (e.g. eat on a schedule/before I was hungry) to avoid an all out binge. I ate when I didn't want to and sometimes to the point of feeling overfull, because I knew I needed it. And on the day I ran my half-marathon, I ate more than I think I've ever eaten before, but I did it because my body kept telling me it was hungry, so I knew I needed the fuel.

Can runners eat whatever they want? I'd argue not. Does running make you thin? I'd argue no in that case, too. In fact, my predisposition to being thin makes me a worse runner in some ways because I have less muscle and no fat stores to use as a reserve for days of extra miles.

So let's dispel the myth that most runners run to eat. Maybe some do. I don't. I eat to run. Extra hunger and the chance to indulge is maybe nice sometimes, but overall, running is about taking better care of myself. And that means eating better. Sometimes more. Sometimes less, but more focused on nutrients and having good energy overall. Otherwise my running is not going to get better. And I, as long as the Lord allows, want to keep progressing in this sport if I can.

Healthy Looks Different on Everyone

I'm probably the healthiest I've been in years. 

That might seem like a contradictory statement given how sick I've been lately, my dystonia, and the "healthy" habits I no longer practice. I've gained weight, decreased my HIIT exercise, watched my cholesterol go up, struggled with sleep, and even given up some of my tidiness. All things I'd used to say were unhealthy. But my definition of healthy has changed. Right now for me, healthy for me means being in a good place mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Yes, my health includes the physical part, but that's probably the least important at this point. As Rachael Hartley puts it so well, "If doing something makes you feel bad mentally, then it's not actually health, no matter how 'good' it is physically." And at this point, I want holistic health as much as anything.

So what does healthy look like for me these days? 

It looks like hiking and getting in steps instead of always trying to get more fit and toned. It looks like chilling out instead of vigorously cleaning the house. It looks like normal eating instead of meal planned or even intuitive eating, where sometimes I eat too much and sometimes I eat too little and it's okay. It looks like accepting whatever weight comes to me as I live my life. It looks like forming deeper connections with the people around me, even when it means disrupting my schedule. It looks like doing meaningful work, even if it taxes and tires me. It looks like letting God redefine my priorities. 

I've changed my definition of healthy.

So next time you go to judge healthy for yourself or someone else based on outward appearance and external facts and figures, I challenge you to look deeper. Are you mentally healthy? Are you happy? Are you doing things that matter to you? And if not, then are you really healthy?

Look at me, and you might not say I'm the healthiest I've been, but you may not know where I've come from. And God is still growing me. 

Healthy looks different on everyone. 

What a Doctor's Visit Should Be

I went to the doctor recently for my yearly well check.

The nurse weighed me, but the doctor didn't comment about my weight (even though I've gained a bit since last year, a good thing for me!).

The doctor examined me, but didn't comment about my appearance.

The doctor asked me questions and didn't question my answers.

The doctor asked about my job. She asked me if I was happy. She encouraged me to do self-care. She didn't try to force medicine down my throat.

She gave me a hug.

The doctor treated me as a person, not a object. I felt like a human, not like a specimen.

This is how doctor visits should go!

Butterfly Run 2.0

I like running. Maybe I'll do a post some other time about all the reasons why, but this post will be about one particular time I liked running: The Butterfly Run this past weekend in Tempe.

The Butterfly Run is a partnership between Nationwide Children's Hospital and Big Lots. It is designed to bring awareness to pediatric behavioral health issues and raise money for research into the causes of and treatment of the same. This was my second time running the race (a recap of my first is here) and I will run it again if I can. I like running, but I'm also passionate about the mental health of children.

The course this year was once again at Kiwanis Park. We went around the opposite way around, however. I did make all the turns and got in the full race this time, unlike last year when I had to run around a little extra to get in the 5K.

One of my friends ran with me, and my best friend from Arkansas watched, so that made the race extra fun. I've been sick and haven't been running that much or that hard lately. I've also been focusing more on physical therapy for my dystonia and gaining muscle than I have been on speed training. But somehow, I made really good time and set a personal record on this course. I also got first place in my gender/age division (only six people, but still, I'm thankful). 

The weather Saturday was beautiful and I got to go to brunch and spend time with my best friend after the race. We ate at The Uprooted Kitchen, wandered the gardens surrounding it, and then went shopping at Marshall's. 

I like running for a lot of reasons, but this weekend, I particularly liked it for the ways it allowed me to connect with causes and people I care about. My heart was filled and I came back from my "mini-vacation" a happy girl. Thank you, Lord!