Ten Ways to Cope with Crippling Anxiety

The crippling fear. The tightness in your chest. The feeling that at any moment you might panic and lose it. Yes, I know these things. Though I have never experienced a full blown panic attack that I know of, I have for years struggled with anxiety. I've taken medications. I (still) take supplements. I try manage lifestyle factors and exercise, and still sometimes anxiety takes me surprise. It tries to knock me down, but by God's grace, I try to cope. Here are at least ten of the ways I do so:

1) Talk about it. A college professor told me that Satan has power over what we keep in darkness. So vulnerable as talking is, and often with embarrassment, I talk, usually to my husband, sometimes to my mom, sometimes to a trusted friend. I don't broadcast my struggle to everyone who needs to know, because that wouldn't be helpful. But someone needs to know.

2) Drown it out. There is a time and place for coping with anxiety, but sometimes I just need to drown out the noise in my head with something else: sermons, podcasts, music, my own singing, you name it. I just need noise.

3) Walk. Exercise can become compulsive, especially when you struggle with anxiety, but in moderation, it helps. The simple movement of putting one foot in front of the other reminds me that I can keep moving in life as well.

4) Get some sunshine. This kind of goes with the above, but sometimes the Vitamin D helps.

5) Eat. I didn't know that anxiety can be a sign of hunger until I read Rachael Hartley's blog post. If I am feeling unreasonably anxious, especially in the morning before breakfast, I try to stop what I am doing and eat. That often helps, if not takes care of that particular version of crippling anxiety.

6) Sleep. Not always possible, but sometimes just laying down helps calm my nervous system. Bonus if you have a weighted blanket. I am not sure if there is empirical validation for using weighted blankets with anxiety, but they are warm and comforting and keep me still, again, calming my nervous system.

7) Self-talk. I tell myself, "This too shall pass." I tell myself that I can keep going, that it will get better. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. It's worth a shot.

8) Get a hug. Did you know that hugs release the feel-good chemical oxytocin? Not everyone is privileged to be around safe people who give hugs, but if you have those people in your life, use them!

9) Phone (or text) a friend. I am blessed with a few friends who really get anxiety, mostly because they've been there, or are there themselves. If I reach out to them, they can empathize and often encourage and pray with me. They make me feel less alone.

10) Look to the Lord! Pray. Access the truths of the Bible. Recite those truths over yourself. Work to believe that there is a power greater than anxiety (because there is!) And if you do not know Jesus as Lord and Savior, let your anxiety drive you to him for saving faith.

Is my anxiety crippling*? It feels that way. It tries to tell me I am unable to go forward. (That's the definition of crippling.) The truth is that, most days, my anxiety is not crippling. It is debilitating, sure, but I can walk with a limp. And when I walk with a limp, I can somehow get to the next place. And that's what I'm trying to do when coping with anxiety. I am trying to get to the next place, to the next season, to a place of greater functioning. These strategies help.

*Some anxiety truly is crippling and utterly debilitating. Always seek professional help when this is the case, preferably before an all out crisis emerges. Sometimes our brains need medication to calm the anxiety down. Sometimes we need therapy. Sometimes we need biblical counseling. Sometimes we need mentoring. Please seek all and any of these services as you see fit. My sharing is in no way to replace or supersede professional advice, or to in any way make you feel guilty for whatever (healthy) coping skills you use to deal with anxiety.

Healthy Looks Different on Everyone

I'm probably the healthiest I've been in years. 

That might seem like a contradictory statement given how sick I've been lately, my dystonia, and the "healthy" habits I no longer practice. I've gained weight, decreased my HIIT exercise, watched my cholesterol go up, struggled with sleep, and even given up some of my tidiness. All things I'd used to say were unhealthy. But my definition of healthy has changed. Right now for me, healthy for me means being in a good place mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Yes, my health includes the physical part, but that's probably the least important at this point. As Rachael Hartley puts it so well, "If doing something makes you feel bad mentally, then it's not actually health, no matter how 'good' it is physically." And at this point, I want holistic health as much as anything.

So what does healthy look like for me these days? 

It looks like hiking and getting in steps instead of always trying to get more fit and toned. It looks like chilling out instead of vigorously cleaning the house. It looks like normal eating instead of meal planned or even intuitive eating, where sometimes I eat too much and sometimes I eat too little and it's okay. It looks like accepting whatever weight comes to me as I live my life. It looks like forming deeper connections with the people around me, even when it means disrupting my schedule. It looks like doing meaningful work, even if it taxes and tires me. It looks like letting God redefine my priorities. 

I've changed my definition of healthy.

So next time you go to judge healthy for yourself or someone else based on outward appearance and external facts and figures, I challenge you to look deeper. Are you mentally healthy? Are you happy? Are you doing things that matter to you? And if not, then are you really healthy?

Look at me, and you might not say I'm the healthiest I've been, but you may not know where I've come from. And God is still growing me. 

Healthy looks different on everyone. 

Things I'd Like to Lose To Live a Healthier Life

'Tis the season to diet. Okay, so we're past the New Year and into February, but I still hear diet talk everywhere:

• "I can't have that. I'm on X diet." 
• "X pounds lost. X to go." 
• "I've gotta lose weight before X event."

You know what I want to say? Food is just one part of life! Okay, yeah, some people want to lose weight and I don't want to shame them about that, but for me, there are a whole lot of things I'd like to lose other than weight:

1. Anger at myself and others for misdeeds done, because we could all use a little more love and grace.
2. Unforgiveness, because it does more harm to me than it does to my offenders.
3. Comparison, because I'll never be as good as them, and they'll never be like me. We're our own people, unique and beautiful in our own ways.
4. Shame. There's a fine line between guilt that motivates me to change my behavior and shame that backs me into a corner and prevents me from making connections. (See Brene Brown's book.) I don't want to live there.
5. Rules and expectations about what I should do, whether it comes to food, exercise, social interactions, or something else. Most of these areas are value-neutral, so I'd like to lose the rules and enjoy life instead of trying to fit my life into one little box.

Excuse me if I'm being presumptious, but if I could lose the weight of these five things, I think I'd be a whole lot healthier than I would be on any one diet.

What about you, friends? What would you like to lose to become a healthier version of you? (And please don't say pounds. That's clearly not the point of this post.) Please share in the comments section.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

*This post was inspired by "The Numbers That Count" by Rachael Hartley.