Seven "Healthy" Habits I No Longer Practice

Those of you who have been around me for awhile know that health and wellness are kind of important to me. There's the fact that my body is God's temple (1 Cor 6:19-20), but there's also the truth that I'm a perfectionist and want to do everything exactly right. I've been pretty rigid about following health and wellness recommendations in the past, but over the past few years of living in Arizona and trying to live more intuitively, I've realized that some of those habits aren't healthy for me anymore. Here a few of the habits I've recently ditched:

1) "Clean" Eating: I used to avoid buying "processed foods" in an effort to simplify my life and stay healthy. But living at home with my family, I have regular access to convenience foods and treats. So when cereal, candy, ice cream, a granola bar,or pizza call to me, I have them. Often times this convenience food is healthier for me because I eat when I'm hungry, rather than slaving away in the kitchen to make something from scratch when I was already starving.

2) Vegetarianism: It worked for me for awhile, but it does't anymore. My family eats meat, so I had to start eating it, at least for dinner, when I moved home. When I started my new job and found my stress levels higher and my energy levels lower, I added some additional animal protein into the breakfast and lunch meals that I prepared. It hasn't seemed to hurt me and I've maybe gained a little bit of muscle.

3) Avoiding bottled water: I freaked out about BPA in plastic bottles when I was in college. After that, I tried to avoid bottles of water because of the environmental impact. But in Arizona when you're thirsty, you've got to drink! I try to refill my BPA free CamelBak water bottle when I can, but when I can't, I can't. The dangers of dehydration far outweigh the negative consequences of disposable water bottles, at least in my opinion.

4) Exercising when I'm dog tired: Some exercise is good, but too much is too much. I've been sick quite a bit this year and am learning to take days off or engage in lighter exercise. And some days there just isn't time to exercise. My 5K pace might be slowing, but exercise is a privilege and at least I'm still able to do it sometimes.

5) Eating low fat: I've had high cholesterol in the past and I avoided eggs, cheese, and full fat dairy. But lately I've been craving more protein and even butter (which I previously disliked). So I've been eating whatever calls to me. We'll see how my blood work turns out this year, but for right now, I'm trying to eat what make me feel good.

6) Skipping the salt: Too much salt can be bad for you, but I started craving salt more when I began cooking from scratch. Maybe it was because I ate less processed food. Maybe I just liked the salt. I don't know. Now I live in Arizona and need the electrolytes, so I salt my food liberally. I try not to overdo it, but sometimes it happens. Salt is one of my lesser worries.

7) Avoiding hand sanitizer: I truly believe in the power of soap and water and washing hands. I know that killing 99.9% of bacteria can bread an 0.1% bacteria monster, BUT I work with kids and they have SO many germs. Hand sanitizer and bleach wipes are my new friends, and I have still been getting sick. I wash my hands when I can and use more natural cleaning products at home, but at work, instant sanitizers are my friends!

Has anyone else ditched some "healthy" habits in the past year? Please share in the comments section.

This post was inspired by Catherine's blog post and I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

I Care About Kids...

...but I'm not a mom.

Let me explain. I work with kids. I am growing to love it. Kids matter. The kids I work with are "my kids" even if I have not birthed them. But that doesn't make me a mom.

I have been repeatedly asked if I am a mother this past year. The lady at the pottery shop asked me if I planned to have another child when I was out with my "kids." (I had to clarify that I was not their mother.) The librarian asked me if I had kids when I was perusing the children's section looking for a book. (Nope! My life just revolves around kids and I needed a resource.) The lady in the church bathroom told me that I'd have beautiful kids after I'd responded to her other questions that I didn't have kids and needed a husband before I would. The woman in the pew next to me asked about my interest in marriage and told me I was cute and she hoped I'd find someone. (I assume she hopes I'll have kids, too.) The nail salon owner asked me if I had kids when I was there before Mother's Day to purchase a gift certificate for a friend's birthday. (When I said, "No," he clarified that I look like I'm 19. Thanks, but I'm not.) One kiddo recently asked if I wanted kids. They reported that I'd be a good mom because I'm nice and say, "Please use the magic word." Maybe all the time I spend with kids is beginning to give me a persona.

I'm not a mom, and I'm not sure I can be a mom and do the work I do. I might want to be an adoptive mom someday, but that's another topic for another day. For now, know I care about kids, but that I cannot replace their mothers. Moms have a special and unique role, and that isn't my my place . My role is to help, and encourage, and support. My role is to help children and families become more whole.

I care about kids, and I don't have to be a mom to do it.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Living in Limbo

As I've entered my 30th year of life, living in the limbo of being unmarried has become harder and harder. "I've been single my entire life, so it shouldn't be this hard," I tell myself. But it is. And lately, the concept of marriage just keeps coming up over and over again. I've realized that we live in a marriage-centric society, and that's God's design, except when it isn't.

Life is lived in dyads. Family usually starts with two. People fight for the right to marry. In the church, marriage is a metaphor for Christ and the Church (Eph 5:21-33). The speaker preached about that just recently. But what about when marriage isn't? When people are long-term, and sometimes life-long singles? When people are divorced or widowed, and not by their own choice? God grants salvation, and thereby relationship with him to everyone (John 6:40). God doesn't abandon or leave or forsake (Deut 31:8).

I would argue that sometimes marriage isn't in God's design. Paul was a long-term single from what we know. He wrote about how a lack of marriage allows more focus on God in 1 Corinthians 7. God calls Himself a husband to the unmarried in Isaiah 54. But that fact that a calling to singleness seems to exist doesn't make the single life any easier.

I live in a state of relationship tension, and so do many of my beautiful friends. We wonder if we should keep looking for the "one," or just give up and write out plans exclusive of a spouse. As much as I'd sometimes like to lose my desire to be married, it's still there. And to write off marriage would be to wrench my life out of God's hands and tell Him I'm writing my life story. I'm not. God's in control, whether I like it or not. God's in control of not only my singleness, but also in control of my job, my family, my environment, and so much more.

So here I am, embarking on another year of life as a single, admiring God's divine design in  marriage, but wondering how my life fits into it. All I can do is keep waiting and watching. Whether it's for an earthly spouse or for the eminent return of Christ, the husband of the Church, I don't know.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Three Everyday Ways to Practice Gratitude

I wrote a few weeks ago about learning to ask, "What is going right?" instead of focusing on the things I don't like in life. To supplement that post, I thought I'd share a few ways that I practice gratitude. Granted, I adopted most of these ideas from others, but I thought it might be helpful to share them all in one place.

1) Five things: I try to start out each day by writing five things I'm thankful for in my journal. Sometimes I dig deep, and sometimes I come up with simple things like a bed, sleep, job, electricity, and food. But even listing these basics helps me have perspective.

2) The Thankful Jar: Mom started this after reading a Max Lucado book that stated we need to learn to celebrate God's blessings. We write answered prayers and "Yeah, God" moments on colored cards and place them in the jar at the table for a month. Then we make a special date to re-read the cards and celebrate. (Normally we go out to dinner.)

3) The Happy List: My Instagram friend Jesse is the kickstarter for this project. She challenged Joy Squad members to join her in making happy lists last year, and I jumped on board in July. I use the lists to document both things that make me happy, and things that I'm grateful for. (These are sometimes one and the same.) I usually stick with five things (my favorite number-can you tell) for my happy list, but there is no set minimum or maximum. I construct my list on Friday and find that this is a good way to remember what's gone right over a span of time. Here's a recent example:

Friends, do you have any ways that you regularly practice gratitude? Please share in the comments section.

Fasting From Social Media: Lent Part 1

I took a break from social media for Lent this year. Okay, so I didn't take a break from all social media. I deactivated my Pinterest and Instagram accounts and deleted the apps from my phone. I decided not to use my phone at the kitchen table. I chose not to check my favorite blogs for updates. And I did it for 40 days.

Why this fast? Because social media had lost its proper place in my life. I needed to remember that Jesus is my comfort. I needed to re-center.

What did I learn? 

1) I crave the mindlessness of social media. I found myself scrolling Facebook more during Lent since I'd eliminated the other sources of social media in my life. Fail there, but I decided to be gracious with myself. At least I was aware of my habit

2) My focus improves when I read on paper versus on a screen. I found myself more engaged and doing less skimming when I read paper books. In replacing my breakfast screen time with books, I was able to complete three and get a few more items off my #bucketlistproject.

3) I really didn't miss much. I returned to blog reading and Pinterest on Easter Sunday. I'd made a list of blog posts I'd seen on Facebook and wanted to read, and I blew through those in a few days. They weren't that earth-shattering in their content. As the days have progressed and I've returned to reading blog posts, I've found them less satisfying. They're just not fulfilling, and they shouldn't be.

4) That Instagram might be too much for me. I haven't re-activated my account. I'm not sure if I will. Instagram is beneficial for things like happy lists, but it's also one more thing to keep up with. I like seeing friends posts and receiving content that way, but it's also overwhelming and overstimulating. Stay tuned to see what I decide.

Has anyone else taken a break from social media? If so, what did you learn? Please share in the comments section.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

What's Going Right?

Last week was very difficult for me, professionally and personally. I had several rough nights of sleep, days where I didn't have time to sit down and eat (and had to eat packaged foods in the car or on the run), and news about ongoing health issues that I didn't want to hear. One thing that kept me going in the midst of this was a practice of gratitude. This wasn't my idea, per se. I think it came from the Spirit.

On even the hardest days, I kept having the urge to ask myself, "What's going right?" And somehow, there was always something. In my One Year Bible audio readings Wednesday or Thursday, the commentary said, "Think to Thank. Pause to Pray." Those phrases confirmed the importance of my daily habit of gratitude. 

Sometimes I have to think really hard to find reasons to give thanks. And that's okay. Because sometimes life is really hard. But when I practice gratitude even on those hard days, I entrench a way of thought. I build my gratitude muscles, making my practice easier to sustain in the long run.

Gratitude isn't easy, but it's necessary, especially for me as a Christ-follower. The sermon from 1 Thessalonians 1:2-4 at church on Sunday said just that. I can't expect everyone in the world to give thanks, but because I believe in Jesus as the Savior who died for my sins to give me life, I do ALWAYS have reason for thanksgiving.

Friends, what's going right for you today? Please share below in the comments section so that we can have a virtual gratitude gathering.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Grace in a Broken Cup

I broke Dad's favorite coffee cup, like the one he uses every day. It was an accident! I'd washed the cup and left it drying on a tine of the dish rack. When I tried to pull it off to put it away, it slipped out of my hands and fell into the cast iron sink. Voila! The cup went into two large pieces and a thousand tiny shards.

When I told Dad what I'd done, he was like, "The cup I use every day?"

I was like, "Yeah, the black one."

"Oh well." That was all he said. He could condemned me, gotten upset, berated me, or even asked me to replace the cup (which I later did, because I wanted to), but he didn't. He let it go.

I, on the other hand, had a hard time letting go. I questioned what I could have and should have done differently. I was tired and exhausted and needed to go to bed, but found myself wanting to do penance. I wanted to order a new cup right then, or read extra Bible verses, or somehow otherwise punish myself. But I realized I had a choice. I could beat myself up or forgive myself. I could move on, or or I could stay stuck. I chose to move on.

I took my shower that night, read the newspaper, ate my snack, and went to bed as per usual routine. I woke up the next morning and ordered a new cup that not coincidentally said on it, "Best Dad Ever." And life went on.

Being shown grace necessitates that I show it to others, even to myself. Dad's grace wouldn't have done much good had I not it to myself. And I wouldn't know grace had I no need for it. Perhaps grace flows best through broken vessels.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Feeling the Feels

"No pain, no gain." I think that's the way of authentic living. But man, does it hurt.

I'd venture to say that these fast few years have been some of the hardest and most painful I've had. Why? It's not necessarily because the worst things in the world have happened to me, but because I've actually felt the grief associated with church changes, the fear associated with family struggles, and the terrible sadness associated with world tragedies. I now work in a career where I have to feel the feels all the time in order to be present, and it's an exhausting and hard task.

In the past, I used to think that strength was forcing down the feelings and keeping on. Now I think it's feeling the feels, being honest about them, and choosing to go on. And although I don't like it, I think I'd make the argument that feeling the hard stuff, voicing it, and figuring out how to acknowledge it and integrate it into my life experience is actually what makes me stronger. But it's still no fun.

Nikita Gill wrote, "Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go.” When wounds bleed, the blood washes away toxins and brings fresh oxygen to help the wound heal. I think it's the same when I feel the pain of suffering. I can actually learn from it and let it go. This new ways of living feels dangerous, but no good things or important lessons seem to come easy....

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

I Cried At Work.

Maybe it's because I was tired. Maybe it's because my buttons got pushed. Maybe I was hungry. I don't totally know why, but I cried at work.

And you know what? I'm not sorry about it. It shows I'm human. I have a heart. I think I handled myself as professionally as I could in the immediate situation. Then I let my tears out with my supervisor. What's more, I cried again when the issue came up again. And I'm going to choose to be okay with it because I feel.

A lot of people think I'm strong and have it all together. I do try to hold it together as much as I can, but ask those closest to me and you'll hear that I fall apart. Like majorly. So as much as this hurt, maybe it's a good thing that I cried at work. It shows that I'm integrating my true self into what I do both inside and outside of my home. I see at as a sign of growth, a sign of moving towards more authentic living, which is what I want, painful as it may be. (See Brene Brown's work for more on vulnerability.)

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

Lacking No Good Thing

A pastor recently preached a sermon on Isaiah 40:27-31 at church. He talked about how God sees us in our hard times. He stated that God might have us in a season of discomfort because that's where he wants us so that he can accomplish His purposes. That comment really resonated with me. I don't want to be where I am, but this is where God has me.

This season of life is uncomfortable. I want a lot of things right now that I don't have. I want to be married and have a family of my own, even if it doesn't include kids. I want better health. I want less stress about my job, and a predictable schedule. I want to do well at my work and still have enough energy to have a social life, and more. These are all good things in theory, but yet Psalm 34:10 says, "Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing" (New International Version). I see now that the house I wanted to buy wasn't good for me. I really need my parents. But these other things? I don't know why I don't have them, other than that they must not be good for me right now.

In Psalm 16:6, David writes, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Regardless of how uncomfortable I am right now, I know that I have an eternal home in heaven. I know that I have a forever support in the indwelling Holy Spirit. I know that I can endure all things through Christ's strength (Phil 4:13). I can't discount the hard in life, but maybe I need a different perspective. Maybe I need the perspective that God has me here to learn, that this season is good for me. Maybe I need to start looking for God's comfort, rather than worldly comfort. I know I need to complain less and celebrate God's provision more. If I lack no good things, that means I have good things in this uncomfortable season, and I need to start looking for them.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

Things I'd Like to Lose To Live a Healthier Life

'Tis the season to diet. Okay, so we're past the New Year and into February, but I still hear diet talk everywhere:

• "I can't have that. I'm on X diet." 
• "X pounds lost. X to go." 
• "I've gotta lose weight before X event."

You know what I want to say? Food is just one part of life! Okay, yeah, some people want to lose weight and I don't want to shame them about that, but for me, there are a whole lot of things I'd like to lose other than weight:

1. Anger at myself and others for misdeeds done, because we could all use a little more love and grace.
2. Unforgiveness, because it does more harm to me than it does to my offenders.
3. Comparison, because I'll never be as good as them, and they'll never be like me. We're our own people, unique and beautiful in our own ways.
4. Shame. There's a fine line between guilt that motivates me to change my behavior and shame that backs me into a corner and prevents me from making connections. (See Brene Brown's book.) I don't want to live there.
5. Rules and expectations about what I should do, whether it comes to food, exercise, social interactions, or something else. Most of these areas are value-neutral, so I'd like to lose the rules and enjoy life instead of trying to fit my life into one little box.

Excuse me if I'm being presumptious, but if I could lose the weight of these five things, I think I'd be a whole lot healthier than I would be on any one diet.

What about you, friends? What would you like to lose to become a healthier version of you? (And please don't say pounds. That's clearly not the point of this post.) Please share in the comments section.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

*This post was inspired by "The Numbers That Count" by Rachael Hartley.

Be Kind.

I've had a Bible verse rattling around in my head a lot lately. It says, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Rom 12:9, New International Version [NIV]). This verse is pertinent to a lot of situations in my world and in the world, but I think it also relates to kindness and empathy. How so? Let me explain.

When I want to take revenge, when I want to get even, I'm not trusting God. I'm trying to take things into my hands, to exercise my control over the situation. And guess what? I'm not in control.

Kindness, in a similar manner, is rooted for me in a trust in God. I have to trust that God is fair and just, that he created all people, and that I need to view and treat them as such. In the Parable of the Vineyard Workers, the Master states, "'Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’" (Matt 20:15, New Living Translation). When Jonah gets mad that God spared the city of Ninevah from destruction, God says, "'Is it right for you to be angry?'” (Jonah 4:4, NIV). In these verses, I see God clearly saying, "Be kind. Trust me. I'll take care of things."

Not everyone who reads this believes in God or has a relationship with Jesus, I know (but you can!) But seriously, can we be a little kinder in the world? We're not in control! None of us are perfect. If we stopped thinking we could right the world, maybe the world would be a little more right.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

I Don't Want to BE the Best, Just DO My Best.

Back in December, I read a post in The Joy Squad Facebook group about finding joy in work. I didn't think too much of it. Sure, I was tired and frustrated about how much I was working, but I'm an achiever, and honestly, I took some pride in how much I was working and how efficient I was being. And then the flu (or a flu-like virus) hit. I ached, ran a fever, had a terrible runny nose, and went to the doctor twice. I was out of work for a almost a week (but thankfully some of the days fell on scheduled vacation/holidays, so I only had to take two days off). I've been lacking in energy since, and thinking more about one particular comment on that post.

A lot of women replied to the post last December, but one response stuck out to me.  That woman wrote, "Now I am back at a corporate job and want nothing more than to break the culture of martyrdom and the glorification of busyness." Those words have resonated with me as I've returned to work. In the past, I've found identity in matryrdom and busyness, but now I find myself thinking differently. I find myself thinking, "I want to do my job and go home" instead of, "What's the most I can work today?" I've been thinking, "I want to meet my efficiency goals," rather than, "I want to exceed my goals this week." I've been thinking about how I want to identify myself as a human, and not as a workaholic.

My mom picks Bible verses to pray for us each year, and for me this year, she chose 1 Peter 4:10. It reads, "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms"  (New International Version). This verse really applies to my current outlook on work. I want to do my job and I want to do a good job, because that is what God has called me to do. Sure, I feel a little guilty when I come home early and don't get into overtime, but overtime is not my best work. My best work is when I allow God to fill me up, pour out, and then leave work and go home and get refilled.

Overtime is a part of my job, to be sure, but I want to stop pursuing it. I want to stop looking at our efficiency reports each week and feeling guilty because I'm not leading the pack. Constantly trying to BE the best is exhausting, and at some point will lead to me DOING work that is less than my best. So me new motto is to stop trying to BE the best and start DOING my best. May God give me strength.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

Gut Instinct and God-Things

I don't believe in coincidence. If you know me, you know that I make that comment often. I believe in purposeful living, in living authentically. I believe that when I listen to my body, and "go with my gut," things make more sense.

Take for example the other morning, when I was debating what to have for breakfast. I wasn't that hungry, but I felt a strong urge to stop and eat a big breakfast. What I really wanted to do was practice yoga, dilly-dally, and eat a long leisurely breakfast. But I decided to listen to my gut. It just felt like I needed extra nourishment for some reason. Ten or so minutes into breakfast, I got called out for work and only had a chance to to eat a protein bar between breakfast and dinner. Good thing I had that breakfast to tide me over.

Further back in time to Sunday, I felt obligated to go to an event for Christian community, but didn't want to go. As I was wrestling with my guilt over saying, "No," a friend came up and invited me to a different kind of gathering that was more conducive to my lot in life. That confirmed my, "No," for the other event.

At work, I had an instinct that something wasn't right and that I'd need to reach out to some specific resources. So I programmed those contacts into my phone before leaving. It turned out I needed them.

Is my gut instinct always right? No. I'm human, and a sinner (Rom 3:23). But I do believe that the Holy Spirit indwells me, and that the Spirit's still small voice is often what speaks to me through my visceral responses to things. Oswald Chambers writes in My Utmost for His Highest, 

"When you have a right-standing relationship with God, you have a life of freedom, liberty, and delight; you are God’s will. And all of your commonsense decisions are actually His will for you, unless you sense a feeling of restraint brought on by a check in your spirit. You are free to make decisions in the light of a perfect and delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will lovingly produce that sense of restraint. Once he does, you must stop immediately."

I think Chambers' words totally apply here. Listening to gut instinct, or common sense, is a good rule of life for the most part. And when things don't turn out right, it's time to regroup, repent, and consider if the "common sense" I followed was my own voice, or the Holy Spirit.

Gut instinct? Nah. Holy Spirit? Yes. And with the Holy Spirit, there are no coincidence, just "God-things."

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

A Clarifying Question

I whipped open that new document at the speed of light and started to paste in a link to an article that resonated with me and buoyed my belief in my cause. I was ready to build a case against the nonsense a loved one had been spouting recently. And then the Holy Spirit stopped me, "How will that affect your heart?" It asked. I stopped dread in my tracks. Mind you, I almost pasted in that link and went back to search for all the other articles I had read that supported the way I believed. But I stopped and thought first.

As I thought, I asked myself how having a library of articles would help my relationship with that person. I asked myself if I intended to send my bastion of proof to the person in written form. I asked myself if my "burden of proof" would really change the way my loved one thought. Not well. No. No. I answered. 

"What would a retinue of articles do for me?" I asked. Justify my cause. Make me feel self-righteous. Make me hold a grudge against the person.

Weighing the pros and cons of my "law library," I made a decision. I closed the document before I pasted in the first link. 

The world doesn't need more lawgivers or judges. The world doesn't need more people arguing their cases, especially about things that don't have eternal value. And my loved one certainly doesn't need a whole lot of push-back against their lifestyle choice, especially since it's not really a black-and-white/right-or-wrong issue.  

"How will that affect your heart? What a good clarifying question to ask before I cast the next stone. "They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them" Romans 2:15 says (New International Version). God will take care of the law. And about things that aren't God's law? I've got better ways to use my time for the kingdom. Thank you, Spirit, for the reminder.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

My Lack of a Smile Doesn't Mean I'm Unhappy.

If you've read my blog for awhile, you know that I'm a fan of the Chasing Joy podcast. As I listened to Episode 45 with Marian Mellen, I was struck by her comment about smiling in pictures. She noted that Americans feel forced to smile in pictures and show that they are happy, while this isn't so in other countries. As I pondered her statement, I got to thinking about how this country, and especially Christian culture might too strongly associate happiness and smiling.

Although I consider myself a happy person, I'm not necessarily a smiley person. As I've started singing on worship team at church, I've gotten several comments about how I need to smile more. Okay, I'm working on it. But really, do I need to smile while I sing? God is a high and holy and awesome God. Sometimes when I sing, I'm not smiling because I'm standing in awe of God. Sometimes when I sing, I'm not smiling because I'm focusing on the words, lyrics, or music. Sometimes when I sing, I'm just not thinking about smiling and my face is in its natural resting state. I'm okay!

I'll keep trying to smile while I sing, as I know it improves the worship experience of others, but in the meantime, can we work on accepting non-smiling faces? Sometimes people are hurting. Sometimes people are thinking. Sometimes people are sad. Sometimes people are even happy. They just might not be smiling.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.

What a Gray T-Shirt Taught Me About Blame

"Who put this gray work shirt in with my white load of laundry?" I grumbled as I pulled the wet clothes out of the laundry. Roughly yanking up the shirt and unfolding it, what did I discover? It was my "good" t-shirt, and I put it in the white load of laundry to keep it away from the dirty gray "work" shirts.

I am so guilty of blaming other people for my problems. And I do it without ever trying to investigate the facts or gain perspective on the situation. Blaming other people keeps me from realizing my contributions to problems. It keeps me from feeling my own pain and shame when I screw up. It can keep me from being accountable for the consequences of my own actions. 

I want and need to be quicker to investigate and slower to judge. I need to be faster to admit fault and slower to cast blame. The world might be a better place if I did (or at least I'd have a better attitude about that gray shirt in the laundry).

(Brene Brown's video on blame is excellent and the source of some of my thoughts here.)

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.