This Isn't the Life I Planned, But It's the Life I've Been Given

I spent almost the entire day with my parents last Saturday. We went to the Christmas parade, shopped for groceries, took a nap, ate dinner together, and then drove through the Valley of Lights. Along the way, we had a lot of deep discussions about life, especially Dad and I. I wouldn't have fathomed the idea of such a day a year and a half ago. 

When I decided to move to Arizona, I had plans. I wanted to move in with Dad and Mom, find a job, and then move right back out into a place of my own. I even organized and packed up all my household goods according to that plan. Well, that plan didn't quite work out.

Here I am today, December 2017, still living at home with my parents, still with most of my stuff packed and in the basement. I've even added a refrigerator, bed, and dishwasher to my collection, having been a week away from closing on a house this summer. This isn't the life I wanted. 

I wanted to be independent. I wanted to do life on my own, in my own way. I wanted to be secure and settled. I'm not. But then again, in a strange way, I am. 

Over the past year and a half, I have deepened my relationship with my parents in ways that I wouldn't have considered possible. I am redeeming some of the time I spent in high school alienated and distanced from my family. I am making memories that I wouldn't have had the chance to had I lived on my own.

My parents are supporting me in amazing ways, too. Had I had what I wanted, I wouldn't have the blessing of a fresh, hot-cooked meal every night. I wouldn't have experienced the sweet salve of my dad saying, "You're going to make it," when I come home from a hard day at work and ugly cry. I wouldn't have the convenience of having Mom as an on-site nurse and Dad as an on-site mechanic. I wouldn't have the privilege of seeing my parents working on their marriage, even after 33 years. I wouldn't have experienced the mutual strengthening of faith we've had as we've weathered tough times together. I wouldn't have this life that hard as it is, is beautiful.

This isn't the life I planned, but it's the life I've been given by God Almighty. He knew that this is a season of life I needed, for however long it lasts.

*The title for this post is inspired by Georgie Morley's essay, "It's Not the Body I Asked For, It's the Body I Have."