A Case for Not Commenting on People's Outward Appearances

Someone walked into church the other day, and I immediately noticed that he had lost a substantial amount of weight. He seemed healthy and happy, but then I wondered, "Is he really?" While I do believe that each person has bodily autonomy and can do what they want with their own body (without hurting others), I also believe that our culture also focuses way too much on outward appearances. Though a person may look like they are on a journey to get healthier no one really knows what is happening on the inside. I would argue that what is happening on the inside is what really matters.

A lot of people are fighting battles no one knows, battles that don't present with the same "halo effect" of weight loss. What about the woman facing fertility struggles, doing everything in her body and mind to get pregnant? What about the man facing prostrate cancer, getting radioactive treatment that, at least for a while, has no outward signs? What about the person vigilantly monitoring supplement intake in order to overcome a nutrient deficiency? What about people like me trying to gain weight in order to heal a health condition? Does culture complement any of us?

Plato is said to have written, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." I wish we could take this into account. What if, instead of looking at people, we asked how they were doing? What if instead of complimenting weight loss, we asked how people were feeling? What if we stopped complimenting people on their bodies, and instead affirmed their character? We never know if changes in one's body are intentional, either (Depth Counseling, 2025). The person could be dieting, or they could be sick. Yes, I believe we should steward our bodies and take good care of them, but I also wish our culture would stop focusing so much on them.

There is more to life than the body: mind, soul, spirit; relationships, hopes, dreams, fears. Can we give the body comments a break, and instead focus on the humans inhabiting those bodies? I think our holistic health as a society would be a whole lot better for it!

Reference:

Depth Counseling. (2025, April 8). A case for not commenting on people's weight loss. https://depthcounseling.org/blog/a-case-for-not-commenting-on-peoples-weight-loss

Be Kind.

I've had a Bible verse rattling around in my head a lot lately. It says, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Rom 12:9, New International Version [NIV]). This verse is pertinent to a lot of situations in my world and in the world, but I think it also relates to kindness and empathy. How so? Let me explain.

When I want to take revenge, when I want to get even, I'm not trusting God. I'm trying to take things into my hands, to exercise my control over the situation. And guess what? I'm not in control.

Kindness, in a similar manner, is rooted for me in a trust in God. I have to trust that God is fair and just, that he created all people, and that I need to view and treat them as such. In the Parable of the Vineyard Workers, the Master states, "'Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’" (Matt 20:15, New Living Translation). When Jonah gets mad that God spared the city of Ninevah from destruction, God says, "'Is it right for you to be angry?'” (Jonah 4:4, NIV). In these verses, I see God clearly saying, "Be kind. Trust me. I'll take care of things."

Not everyone who reads this believes in God or has a relationship with Jesus, I know (but you can!) But seriously, can we be a little kinder in the world? We're not in control! None of us are perfect. If we stopped thinking we could right the world, maybe the world would be a little more right.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.