Cleaning the Slate

Another person in my life cut off communication. It's happened before, but it still hurt. Some people walk away and never say goodbye. Some people say goodbye when I am not ready. Some relationships just drift apart, or fall apart. After the most recent situation, though, I decided that I wanted to be more intentional about my part.

I sometimes do not know what part I play in relationships that fail or fade. I decided that I want to reach out to those people and ask, though. Have I offended you? Have I hurt you? Have I wronged you? If so, I want to apologize. Few to no conflicts or fallings out are one-sided. If I have injured someone, I need to know, so I am asking. It is humbling. It might hurt, because I don't get a response, or because I do. But I want to know. I want to clean the slate if and where I can.

I have reached out to a few people so far. One has responded. I hope I can be brave and humble enough to reach out to any more that come to mind. I am not perfect. Life is short. I want to be faithful. To God be the glory! 

Forgiveness, and Why It Matters in Marriage

I washed my husband's wallet the other day. It was an accident, I promise. But it was also due to carelessness. I should have checked the pockets. I didn't. And in my husband's defense, he hadn't actually put the jeans in the laundry hamper. I had found and taken them for laundry because I wanted more to fill the machine.

Anyway, I digress. My husband needed his wallet the day I washed it. Having washed out receipts for work and a wet billfold to carry around in his back pocket couldn't have been fun. But he just laughed and said the wallet would dry. He forgave and showed me grace, instantaneously. 

I can't say I'm always as quick to forgive as my husband. (I married a good man.) But I can say that forgiveness is huge in our marriage. It helps us keep a clean slate. It prevents roots of bitterness from growing. It reminds us that we're human and undeserving of God's great grace and mercy.

Do we sometimes screw up? Often! Do we sometimes disagree. Sometimes. But by God's grace, we're practicing forgiveness. 

So friends, if your mate did something to offend you, advertedly or inadvertently, may I suggest forgiveness? It's work, but worth it.

Grace in a Broken Cup

I broke Dad's favorite coffee cup, like the one he uses every day. It was an accident! I'd washed the cup and left it drying on a tine of the dish rack. When I tried to pull it off to put it away, it slipped out of my hands and fell into the cast iron sink. Voila! The cup went into two large pieces and a thousand tiny shards.

When I told Dad what I'd done, he was like, "The cup I use every day?"

I was like, "Yeah, the black one."

"Oh well." That was all he said. He could condemned me, gotten upset, berated me, or even asked me to replace the cup (which I later did, because I wanted to), but he didn't. He let it go.

I, on the other hand, had a hard time letting go. I questioned what I could have and should have done differently. I was tired and exhausted and needed to go to bed, but found myself wanting to do penance. I wanted to order a new cup right then, or read extra Bible verses, or somehow otherwise punish myself. But I realized I had a choice. I could beat myself up or forgive myself. I could move on, or or I could stay stuck. I chose to move on.

I took my shower that night, read the newspaper, ate my snack, and went to bed as per usual routine. I woke up the next morning and ordered a new cup that not coincidentally said on it, "Best Dad Ever." And life went on.

Being shown grace necessitates that I show it to others, even to myself. Dad's grace wouldn't have done much good had I not it to myself. And I wouldn't know grace had I no need for it. Perhaps grace flows best through broken vessels.

I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.