Three Everyday Ways to Practice Gratitude

I wrote a few weeks ago about learning to ask, "What is going right?" instead of focusing on the things I don't like in life. To supplement that post, I thought I'd share a few ways that I practice gratitude. Granted, I adopted most of these ideas from others, but I thought it might be helpful to share them all in one place.

1) Five things: I try to start out each day by writing five things I'm thankful for in my journal. Sometimes I dig deep, and sometimes I come up with simple things like a bed, sleep, job, electricity, and food. But even listing these basics helps me have perspective.

2) The Thankful Jar: Mom started this after reading a Max Lucado book that stated we need to learn to celebrate God's blessings. We write answered prayers and "Yeah, God" moments on colored cards and place them in the jar at the table for a month. Then we make a special date to re-read the cards and celebrate. (Normally we go out to dinner.)

3) The Happy List: My Instagram friend Jesse is the kickstarter for this project. She challenged Joy Squad members to join her in making happy lists last year, and I jumped on board in July. I use the lists to document both things that make me happy, and things that I'm grateful for. (These are sometimes one and the same.) I usually stick with five things (my favorite number-can you tell) for my happy list, but there is no set minimum or maximum. I construct my list on Friday and find that this is a good way to remember what's gone right over a span of time. Here's a recent example:

Friends, do you have any ways that you regularly practice gratitude? Please share in the comments section.

Everything I Read in November

Is it me? Or is it my life? When I first sat down to compile my reading list for this month, I was not happy with my list. I was frustrated with myself and my continued inattentiveness and lack of reading. Then I added a bunch of books to my list here at the end of the month, as I had time off work and a little out of town adventure. That makes me wonder if maybe I'm less inattentive than I thought, and reading just doesn't fit in well with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Nonetheless, I fit in reading where I can. Here is the result of that this month:

108) The Theory of Happily Ever After by Kristin Billerbeck—Okay, I actually liked this one. Dr. Maggie Macguire is having a pity party after being dumped by her fiancée. Her friends Katharine and Haley take her on a singles cruise as a keynote speaker on happiness. That is Maggie’s research area, after all. The only problem is that Maggie isn’t sure she believes in happiness anymore. The story follows her as makes her way back to happiness, through love and healing. This is a sweet story with just a little bit of mystery. Happily every after may be a farce, but maybe, just maybe there is some purpose to find in the pursuit of it.

109) Don’t Call It A Comeback: What Happened When I Stopped Chasing PRs, and Started Chasing Happiness by Keira D’Amato with Evelyn Spence—This was a good book, and a hard book, and a sad book. I would also say that it is a real, honest, genuine, and vulnerable book. That is who Keira D’Amato is: a gritty competitor with a snarky sense of humor, but also a mom who lives everyday life. D’Amato lays it all out in this book, her first go-round with track that ended due to a surgery for a congenital deformity that she couldn’t afford, to her most recent bid for a spot on the 2025 Olympic team. D’Amato writes honestly and vulnerably about her struggles as a young military wife and now, the guilt of leaving her kids to compete. She writes about what it took to get to where she is, and about why she stepped off the roads in the 2024 Olympic Trials. There is some language and crude humor in this book, but also a lot of quotes worth requoting. I guess what makes me most sad about this book is how passionate D’Amato is about her sport, but about a sport that will not last. Don’t get me wrong. I really enjoy running. I also want to run as long as I can. I appreciate D’Amato’s story and find it inspiring, especially the parts of going for big goals. Her is also a little bit empty, though. What will happen when D’Amato can’t comeback from a failure, when the happiness of this life fails? I hope and need to pray that she finds salvation in Jesus, because one day He will come back for his own, and I believe that only by living for and in Him will humans find ultimate joy.

110) Heart of the Country by Rene Gutteridge and John Ward—Faith and Luke fall in love, abandon their families, and elope. They have it all: the posh New York life, romance, and bliss, until they don’t. Luke walks out on his father and his father’s business and falls into crime. Faith walks out on Luke. Though she returns home to North Carolina, Faith’s life isn’t there. Her father becomes ill. She waits for divorce. Yes, the plot line had some pretty apparent prodigal son parallels, but it also had some nuances, some unexpected twists and turns, and a fun writing style (with first person perspectives from all of the characters). I guess this book is also a movie, but I did not know that until I read it. Having read the interview at the back of the book between the author and the filmmaker, I think the book version is probably the better portrayal of the story. And don't worry, it does have a happy ending!

111) Violette Between by Allison Strobel—This was an interesting book, about artist Violette Corterm and psychologist Christian Roch. Both are widowers trying to rebuild after their losses, but then tragedy strikes again. Violette falls from a ladder while painting a mural and falls into a coma. From there, the story alternates between her looking back on her life from a bird's eye view and Christian sitting my her side waiting for her to wake up. This is a moving portrayal of grief, love, and life after a first love. I did find the ending a bit abrupt, but overall, I enjoyed reading this book for something different.

112) Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood by Lisa D’Amour—Dr. Lisa D’Amour is a psychologist, and one with a specialist in teen girls. In this book, she unravels seven strands of teen development, normalizing teen behavior and telling parents when they should worry. Written in a matter-of-fact style, with both professional sketches and personal anecdotes from herself and her own family, D’Amour provides practical and accessible advise and expertise. She is also fairly values-neutral when it comes to morality. Instead of imposing a worldview, she presents research about what behaviors are risky to teen girls, and how parents can address them, in the midst of, and sometimes in spite of their own values. I think this is a very helpful book, one that might help set a lot of parent minds at ease as they navigate the ensnarling world of adolescence with their daughters.

113) Hadley Beckett’s Next Dish by Bethany Turner—This book was underwhelming. Tagged as Christian fiction, it mentioned Jesus a few times, but was otherwise devoid of spiritual content. About frenemy cooks Hadley Becket and Max Cavanaugh, it felt a little bit too good to be true. (Max overcomes his alcohol addiction just through one treatment stint? And Hadley overcomes her family issues just overnight?) The denouement also seemed to come a little too suddenly. Overall, this book just felt empty. Despite the decent writing quality, I don’t think I’ll be looking for a next book from this author.

114) Becoming Trader Joe: How I Did Business My Way & Still Beat the Big Guys by Joe Coulombe with Patty Civalleri—This was an interesting book! Coulombe says he wrote it for other business people like himself, but as a lay person I still found it engaging to read about the way he built his business. From starting out with dying Pronto Markets, to several iterations of what is now Trader Joe's, Coulombe crafted a store built on foundations of paying employees well and finding creative ways to keep costs low. Although Coulombe writes that he does regret selling out to the owners of Aldi (due to things that transpired afterward), he went on to help other struggling companies and sit on corporate boards. (He writes that he purposely did not leave his business to his children, because he wanted them to be able to live their own lives, and according to him, they have—successfully!) Although I am not sure where Joe Coulombe stood faith wise, I think it can be reliably said that he left a legacy behind him.

115) Save the Date by Jenny B. Jones—Save time to read this really good book! Unlike with some of the other books I have read lately, the story line of Saving Grace Girl's home founder Lucy Wiltshire and Congress candidate Alex Sinclair pulled me right in. Lucy has been hurt and is hurting. Alex tries to cover up his hurt with good deeds. Lucy and Alex drive an uncanny bargain to act engaged, for both their sakes, but then fall into something deeper. I read this book pretty much straight through and could not have asked for a better integration of mystery, love, and spiritual truth. It probably helps that I am familiar with the real Saving Grace organization, and that I needed the truths about love and forgiveness and grace and truth and self-worth. I cannot remember the last date I stayed up late to finish a book, but I did for this one, and it was a joy to do it!

116) The Bright Years by Sarah Damoff—This is not my normal type of book, but when Hungry Runner Girl mentioned it on her blog, I was intrigued. Written by a social worker, it is the story of Ryan and Lillian Bright, two broken people trying to overcome their pasts. Trigger warnings abound for all the things: addiction, abuse, death, eating disorders, miscarriage, sex, suicidal ideation, etc. This is not a book to feel good, but it is a real book, a true book, looking at addiction from the perspectives of wife, daughter, and addict. Parts of this book startled me. Most of it saddened me. There were a few bright spots, and when I read this statement in the acknowledgements, I was really glad I read: “Thank you to the One who created this world with its sun and shadows, and who offered redemption to those of us who seek.” There is hope. There is brightness: not always where and how we look for it, but always through Jesus.

117) A Sugar Creek Christmas by Jenny B. Jones—This was another book set in an environment I know: Northwest Arkansas. It’s about news anchor Emma Sutton who goes home on sabbatical, a sabbatical that could make or break her career. There she meets her ex-fiance Noah Kincaid. They rekindle their relationship, but they are both going to have to face the past and forgive. They are also going to have to make some sacrifices to make their relationship work. This was a fun Hallmark-ish story, but a little too heavy on steamy romance scenes, which detracted from the heart of the story. While I enjoy reading romance, what matters to me more is the heart behind the story.

118) Wild Heart Summer by Jenny B. Jones—This is a short novella set in Sugar Creek, Arkansas. It’s about loss and love and long-held secrets that must come to light. Truthfully, this story about culinary student Avery Crawford, ranch hand Owen Jackson, and ranch owner Mitchell Crawford packs a lot in—and does it well. Yes, the plot moves at a wildly fast pace, but it has to for a novella. While not my favorite book by this author, and not without some innuendo I could have done without, it was worth an hour or so of my time.

119) 50/50: Secrets I Learned Running 50 Marathons in 50 Days—and How You Too Can Achieve Super Endurance by Dean Karnazes with Matt Fitzgerald—Dean Karnazes may not be the most socially correct runner, but he may be one of the fittest. In this book, he details how he ran 50 marathons across 50 states in 59 consecutive days. One would think this is impossible, but Karnazes is an ultramarathoner, and he did it. There is a little bit of blood, guts, gore, and inappropriateness, but mostly, there is testimony to the power of setting one’s mind on a big goal, and drawing support from others to do it. This is an inspiring book, and one that includes lots of running facts and lessons along the way. I wouldn’t recommend copying Karnazes’ feat, but for readers who want inspiration for running in general, this is a good book!

--

And on that odd number, that's a wrap for reading in November. Have you read any good books lately? If so, please share in the comments section!

Ireland Adventures: Day 5

We planned to Kilkenny this day. After two days of walking over 30,000 plus steps, though, my husband thought it would be best to take the morning slower to see how we felt. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I woke up early. While we had plenty of cardio, I had not done much with weights, so I decided to finish my physical therapy exercises for the week and see how I felt. Feeling good, I also followed along with the newest Nourish Move Love workout video, using the hotel gym dumbbells. While I probably could have lifted heavier, my goal was to get in some weights, and I did!

We delayed breakfast until 8:30 AM, so that we could go as a group with family. (Room members have to all go at once, and parties have to all go together.) I was hungry! This day I had porridge with all the toppings, turkey and smoked salmon for protein, a cappuccino, another cup of coffee, and more smoked salmon, tomato, and mushrooms to round this out. 

We discussed Kilkenny at breakfast. Seeing that trains left in 14 minutes, or two hours, we decided to nix it. It just did not make sense to use to leave on a noon train, ride two hours, arrive at 3 PM, spend only an hour or so there, and then need to hop on another two hour train back to the hotel, which would put arriving into the night. Instead of all that, we opted for local sightseeing.

But first we went back to Carroll's and Dunnes. We wanted more souvenirs for our friends, and I wanted Weetabix to take home as my souvenir. At six pounds ($6.85 US), importing it back into the US would be way cheaper than paying over $25 for the same box on Amazon. Knowing that we were nearing our next stop, where we would stay in a hotel without such a luscious breakfast spread, we also elected to buy some breakfast items: traditional Irish hot cross buns for my husband, and crumpets for me. We would have to wait to try them, though.

After that, it was off to see the sights. Our first destination was the Hungry Tree, an 80 year old park tree that is growing over a bench. I read about it online and thought it would be cool to see. On the way, we visited various churches (both on my wish list, and not-read about that in my Churches of Ireland post). The Hungry Tree was at Constitution Hall, so we also saw that. We took a few photos, and then set off again.

We found more churches on our route to the Jameson Distillery where various family members wanted to shop. They offered free toilet use, as well as free water, things very few in Ireland do. We didn't do their tour or anything, just looked around and continued on our way.

We viewed the rest of the main churches on my list (mostly all in a row), and then, to my surprise, were close enough to get to St. Kevin's Church Ruins. We tried to see Dublin Castle, but it was under construction and mostly blocked from view. We did catch Dublin City Hall and the Cork Hill Gate.

My husband had been hankering for a chicken fillet (a fried chicken sandwich on a hoagie roll), so we ran back to Dunnes for that. Back at the hotel, he put his feet up. I attempted to download and categorize photos from the day (something I have learned to do because my memory quickly gets convoluted and/or fades). We both napped a little. I worked on this blog. Then off to Grand Central Cafe Bar for dinner, where we would get my husband's other Ireland wish list meal, bangers and mash.

I got the Stag’s Head Signature Ham and Cheese Toastie. Note that it was on sourdough!

He got sticky toffee pudding for dessert. It was good, but also not what we expected. 

All in all, it was a very successful day of sightseeing, crossing off all of my wish-list items. I only wish it could be that way for my husband. He said he wanted to make sure I was happy so I would want to travel again. Fair point, though this trip was really for him!

Veteran's Day Weekend

Thank you to all the veterans of the armed services, I enjoyed the freedom to have a great Veteran's Day weekend!

Friday started with going in for my yearly blood work and delivering the crisis phone from work to the next recipient. But then I had a nice slow breakfast and wrote this happy list:

@717jr got me started on this habit, and it's a great way to end the week, especially when I'm tired.

Packing for my weekend trip, yoga, and a trip to the doctor (no botox this time since I requested another EMG-we'll see if that shows anything different than the last test). Then I was on my way to Phoenix!

I stayed at Drury Inn in Tempe. Work training introduced me to this hotel, but I'd go back again and again. It's clean, has comfy beds, and complimentary breakfast and dinner. Win, win!

I laid down for a quick nap when I got there, but woke up feeling stir crazy. So I took myself for a little walk over to IKEA to do some shopping.

I ended up with some family gifts as well as these cute ceramic cacti for my best friend:

I mapped my walk through IKEA and figured out that the market itself is over half a mile. I added onto that with my walk over to the restaurant and then a stop at Panera to pick up some wholesome dinner. The hotel food is okay, but I wanted the freshness of Panera.

The night was beautiful. I am not a big fan of Phoenix's traffic and air pollution, but the warm fall temperatures are amazing. I also enjoy the palm trees that the warmer temperatures allow to grow.

I went with the ancient grain, arugula, and chicken salad and a pumpkin muffin for dinner.

I intended to save the muffin for snack, but felt hungry enough to eat it with dinner.

I have struggled with stomach discomfort all week and unfortunately it returned after eating, so all I did for the rest of the time was finish the pictured crossword and surf social media. 

I ate a Kashi Honey Almond Flax granola bar and hit the hay at 9 pm, praying to feel better in the morning.

I didn't feel great when I woke up, but I made it out to The Butterfly Run anyway. I probably arrived earlier than needed, but I got a cool grab bag:

This race was the first of several of its kind. I really wanted to run in this race because it supports research for children's behavioral health, something about which I am very passionate. The statistics about children's mental health are staggering. For example one out of five children is diagnosed with a mental illness before the age of 12. I work in behavioral health and the numbers of suffering children still make me want to cry. What was cool about this race was the partnership of Big Lots in supporting it. The CEO of Big Lots, David Campisi was there in person from Columbus, Ohio. Big Lots employees from all over the US came, too, as well as Dr. Steve Allen of Nationwide Children's Hospital. I find it really encouraging to see companies and healthcare organizations partnering together like this.

The race itself started at Kiwanis Park and went around the lake. The course was well-marked, but somehow my directions got off and I had only run two miles when I got to the three mile banner. So I walked my RunKeeper and tried to keep up. I ended at 3.08 miles, a little less than the 3.114 needed for 5K, but I had to let it go.

After the race, I met my Arkansas best friend for breakfast at The Broken Yolk. I went for a simple two eggs breakfast with rye toast and home fries. I expected something like seasoned breakfast potatoes with the home fries, but they turned out more like scalloped potatoes without the cheese. Whatever. At least the potatoes were real and with a little added ketchup and cholula sauce, they tasted great.

My friend and I headed to Arizona Mills for shopping after that. This is one of the nicest malls I've been to, with a full mile indoor circuit of stores. We hit up Marshall's, Ross Dress for Less, and a variety of other smaller stores. We mostly made Christmas gift purchases, but we did stop into a photo booth to document our adventures.

Post shopping, we parted ways, she to the event she came to Phoenix for, and I to my home. It was a good weekend.

Happy Veteran's Day, and thanks again to all who served!

Everything I Read in March

Remember my February reading struggles? Well, I am not sure I fully overcame them. I did go on a trip during which I read four books, so I guess I am "on track." Here are reviews of my March reads:

20) Grace, Under Pressure: A Girl with Asperger’s and Her Marathon Mom by Sophie Walker—I expected this book to be more about running a marathon. It was, just not as much about physical running, but about the marathon to get her daughter diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Sophie Walker knew her daughter was different, but it took years to get her diagnosed, and then a Statement of Educational Needs (required for support services in the UK). Along the way, Walker started running, eventually running the London Marathon to raise money for autism research. Despite being more about autism than running, I enjoyed this book and its true story of resilience and purpose, in spite of, and even in cooperation with special needs.

21) The I Quit Sugar Cookbook: 306 Recipes for a Clean, Healthy Life by Sarah Wilson—Sarah Wilson wrote a book about quitting sugar. This book rides on that one's coattails, but it is really not about sugar. It is about sustainability—eating healthfully and wholefully and using the scraps. This is really a beautiful cookbook, inside and out. While I do not subscribe to quitting sugar, eating organ meats, or the practice of Ayurveda, this cookbook has a lot of great, simple recipes for whole food cooking, making meals from mishmash, and even an entire section on home fermentation. I might not cook this book, but it has enough recipe possibilities that I would put it on my healthy life cookbook list.

22) Undercover Marriage by Terri Reed—Josh McCall and Serena Summers are enemies, and partners as US Marshalls. Or maybe they aren’t enemies. They used to be friends, that is until Serena’s brother Daniel, Josh’s partner, died, and Serena blamed Josh. Now they have to pretend to be closer than ever—married—in order to go undercover and bust a child kidnapping ring. This book was an easy and quick read, with just enough suspense, some romance, and a good chunk of faith. I read it in a little over a day and thoroughly enjoyed it. The discussion questions at the end reminded me of the consistency of God at all times, even undercover.

23) Staying True by Jenny Sanford—This is Jenny Sanford’s story, from shortly before she met Mark Sanford, to shortly after she divorced him due to his, she would later learn, repeated infidelities. I wanted this to be a story of redemption. I hadn’t heard this story in the news and wanted the Sanfords to stay true to their vows. Sadly, Mark did not. The book, therefore, is about Jenny staying true to her Catholic faith, her sons, and herself. There are some redeeming qualities of this book, but overall, it is a sad read.

24) How to Talk So Your Husband Will Listen: And Listen So Your Husband Will Talk by Rick Johnson—I expected this book to share communication strategies. It really didn’t. Written by a man, it was more about the differences between men and women, and how women can use their influence on their husbands for good. Johnson stresses a husband’s need for support, and emphasizes how a woman’s criticism can keep a husband from godly leadership. Nothing too earth-shattering here, but maybe that’s the point? Women need to simplify their talk so their husbands will listen?

25) The Marriage Wish by Dee Henderson—Henderson’s first published book, this is a story about bachelor Scott Williams and widowed author Jennifer St. James. Scott meets Jennifer on the beach, but it takes him months for her to allow him to meet and join in her grief. Scott wishes for marriage and a family, but is Jennifer ready? This is a touching, poignant, and at times, heart-wrenching novel, but also one with a lot of redemptive beauty amidst its twists and turns. It even introduces adoption and foster care, which based on Henderson’s later books, seem to be passions of hers. This is a good book, but if you’re wishing for a read that’s easy on the heart, this isn’t it.

26) DBT Therapeutic Activity Ideas for Kids and Caregivers by Carol Lozier (3/7/23)—This is a good book in that it breaks down DBT skills for kids. I would disagree that skills are for ages 6-12. Some of these concepts seem very advanced, even for 12 year-olds. Still, I think there are some useful things here. I will be using the workbook to provide DBT-informed therapy, as I am not officially DBT trained.

27) Happy Habits for Every Couple by Roger and Kathi Lipp—This book contains 21 days worth of challenges to improve readers’ marriages. With scripture, prayer, personal anecdotes and commentary, this is a well-balanced read. The challenges are not all about husbands or wives, either. Some are specific to one partner. Others encourage a group effort. Doing the book’s activities 21 days in a row might be a challenge, but readers can certainly find some new happy habits in the book, whether or not they do the challenges as written.

28) God’s Gift by Dee Henderson—Another romance by Dee Henderson, this follows the story of missionary James Graham as he returns home to a life he did not want. He plans to return to Africa, but God has other plans, plans to give him a gift in the form of a relationship with Rachel Ashcroft, but not in the form James expects. This book starts and ends a little abruptly. It does cause readers to ponder gifts from God, though, especially when they come in unwelcome packages. It also highlights the sacrificial nature of love. Different from Henderson's suspense novels, this is a poignant read, especially for readers who may be seeking love later in life.

29) The Vow by Kim and Krickitt Carpenter—Kim and Krickitt Carpenter got into a deadly accident weeks after their marriage. Both survived, but not without severe damage, brain damage for Krickitt. Her husband Kim decided to keep his marriage vows, and helped nurse Krickitt back to health, first via the programs at Barrow Neurological Institute in Arizona, and then at home. It wasn't easy. Krickitt did not remember their wedding. She had mood swings. She was not a wife for a time. Eventually, after resigning his job and committing to his own psychotherapy, Kim learned about dating his wife to make new memories. They also got married again and grew to notoriety. Spoiler alert: This is a great story, until researching where the Carpenters are now. Let's just say, after all they have been through, are now divorced. I found this out halfway through the book and it left a sour taste in my mouth. I would not recommend this book simply for this fact. It seems disingenuous to emphasize the importance of a vow that has now not been kept.

30) The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn—This was not a life-shattering read, but it was a practical one. In it, Feldhahn shares twelve “secret” habits of the highly happy married couples she studied. The habits are not rocket science. They are simple, practical, and based in appreciation, gratitude, and faith. The emphasis on appreciation hit me most, not that I do not appreciate my husband, but that I need to do it more, out loud, both in front of him and not. Feldhahn does not suggest trying to start all the habits she chronicles. She suggests trying one or two and seeing how it goes. I think appreciation will be mine.

31) The Ultimate Muffin Book by Bruce Weinstein and Harry Scarbrough—A good muffin recipe books here, with both sweet and savory muffins. The authors write a helpful introduction and tips for making muffins, then share base recipes with dozens of variations. They have low-fat and even gluten free versions. If you’re into muffins, this might be the book for you!

32) All My Knotted Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore (3/25/23)—I have not read all of Moore's books by any means, but I would say this is a “must read.” Written in her signature dialect along with painfully beautiful prose, Moore shares her upbringing in country Arkansas, journey to faith, failures in the faith, ministry, marriage, and so much more. She asserts, ever, that God is in control, on the throne, and in charge of her life. Knotted up or unknotted, He is the anchor that holds.

33) Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are by Lysa TerKeurst (3/27/23)—This is the story of TerKeurst’s decision to end her marriage (which she details very tactfully, really without detail), as well as an exploration of boundaries from a Christian perspective. TerKeurst includes tips from her therapist, Jim Cress, as well as other therapeutic professionals. She offers a, “Now, Let’s Live This…” application section for each chapter. The end of the book explores commonly misused scriptures about boundaries. I am honestly still note sure if I agree with everything in the book, but I appreciated her decision of boundaries as protecting the good, so as not to become bitter and resentful and unable to serve as God intends. I am pondering that, even as I process the rest of the content.

34) The Meaning of Marriage: Facing that Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller (3/30/23)—This is a solid book, challenging Christians to live out gospel-centered marriages. With a mix of personal story, professional experience, and sound research, the Kellers share about the power of marriage in the process of sanctification, the grace needed for and in marriage, and more. They include a chapter about dating, making this book useful even for the single person who might be desiring marriage. “Marriage was designed to be a reflection of the saving love of God for us in Christ Jesus Christ,” the Kellers write in the introduction. Read this book to find more about the gospel meaning of marriage and how to reflect God and His glory through it.

Everything I Read (And Listened To) in January

I didn't necessarily "read" a lot with my eyes this month. (See my "Less" post.) What I did do was listen a lot with my ears [particularly on my long runs, and because this month had so many of those, I think this is my biggest audiobook month (9) yet]. While I have not yet tried listening to fiction on audio (I am not sure I could follow), I have enjoyed alternating between learning books and memoirs. (I learned last year that I most like memoirs read by their authors.) Memoirs just keep me more engaged for longer periods of time, and when I have those aforementioned long runs, I really enjoy them! So without further ado, here's January's book list.

1. When Less Becomes More: Making Space for Slow, Simple, and Good by Emily Ley [Audio book]—In this book, simplicity expert and planner designer Emily Ley discusses how she overcame the push for “more” in life, so that she could learn to enjoy and be present in the “less.” This is not about minimalism per se, but about counting costs, about letting things go, and about finding contentment in the Lord. There are some pretty lengthy sections about social media, eating, and parenting that did not resonate with me so much but the rest of it? Yes! I needed the reminders. My life is very full, and as Ley states, sometimes good is better than great, specially when present in it. I want to make space for more good.

2. How to Plot a Payback by Melissa Ferguson—Lavender Rhodes ruined Finn Master’s life, and when he’s forced back into proximity with her via becoming producer of Neighbors, the show in which she stars as lead actress, things continue to go awry. He still has the list of every way she’s wronged him, and now he’s plotting a payback. The thing is that his acts of revenge keep boomeranging back at him. This is a rom-com if there ever was one: slapstick and silly, but also sweet and poignant. While there is no overt Christian content, the script is clean and contains life lessons about what it truly means to be neighbors and love one another. I am ready to read another plot by this author.

3. The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church by Sarah McCammon (1/6/25) [Audio book]—NPR political correspondent and journalist Sarah McCammon grew up in a charismatic evangelical church in Kansas. Slowly, she became disillusioned with it and eventually left. This book is her story, along with the compiled stories of many other ex-vangelicals. The book chronicles the many reasons people have left the evangelical church, including Christian nationalism (with the 2016 election being a crux point), Christian opposition to science; LGBT issues, fear-based rhetoric surrounding topics like the rapture, purity culture, and more. What stood out to be as a key factor in leaving the evangelical church was a failure to believe in scripture as the inerrant word of God. Without that foundation, the fundamental tenets of Christianity, in my opinion, cannot hold. I finished this audiobook with sadness over the hurt and harm people have experienced from the church, but also with a sense of hope. McCammon concludes the book writing about the loneliness of ex-vangelicals, as well as how many are making sense of their purpose in the world by serving others. If there are any opportunities for the church to be Jesus—even to those who claim to have left it—I think those are some doors to doing so.

4. In His Dreams by Gail Gaymer Martin—Marsha lost her husband to Lou Gehrig’s disease and her brother-in-law Jeff lost his wife in a tragic car accident. While Marsha has made peace with God, she’s a controller and often meddles and tries to fix people. Jeff blames God and is trying to be all things to his disabled daughter Bonnie. The two hit it off when they run into each other one summer in Beaver Island. They both have to get right with God (and others) before they have any hope of a potential future together. This is a more serious than dreamy book, with a sexual abuse content warning. It’s a good, more true-to-life romance, though, and is valuable for that reason.

5. Beloved by Francis Chan with Mercy Gordon—This is the book that Francis Chan says he wishes he wrote before Crazy Love. It’s not that Chan doesn’t believe the Crazy Love message, but that he believes understanding God’s love is the foundational bedrock for Christian life and ministry. This book is not light on gospel, scripture, or obedience. It is heavy on all. There’s still stuff to do: meditate on God’s word; spend less time on social media; love the poor, etc. The thing is that all this doing needs to come from immense knowledge of being loved by God. Chan writes that it has taken him decades to get there, and I am definitely not there yet. This book is a call to meditate on God’s love and allow it to continually saturate me more and more fully, however, because those who know they are beloved are able to be love to the world that so desperately needs Jesus.

6. Growing Boldly: Dare to Build a Life You Love by Emily Ley [Audio book]—My husband says I am a pessimist, and maybe I am, because as much as I would like to believe that everybody can “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and “live boldly,” I don't think they can. There is systemic injustice. There is poverty. Sometimes life is about mere survival. There aren't resources to live, let alone to dream. Still, God used this book to speak to me about time and seasons. Life is not all about big and shiny. Sometimes leaving a legacy means cutting back. Some callings are for a season. Calling is not vocation. Where possible, naming what I love about life can help me move more towards that kind of life. Disagree though I may with the dream stuff, I like Ley's writing. It is simple. It is easy to read (or listen to, as was the case with this audio book for me). It is encouraging. If anyone is to grow, these things are all nourishing towards that end.

7. Less Doing, More Living: Make Everything in Life Easier by Ari Meisel [Audio book]—Ari Meisel is a serial entrepreneur. He went from overworked and burned out, with several side effects from undiagnosed Crohn's Disease, to a coach, hobbyist, and business man happy with his life and work. This book is his treatise on how to optimize, automate, and outsource in order to reduce work and increase living. The eight principles he shares are more about apps and processes than philosophy, and they could help some people. These strategies were not really for me, though. Yes, I touch a lot of things, but I think I find joy in some of them, like my to-do list. For automators and programmers like my husband, though, this book could be highly beneficial. In fact, as I read it, my husband was implementing his own "external brain" system to avoid a to-do list (not influenced by Meisel, since he had not read the book), and found it highly successful.

8. Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein—I don’t want to discount this book’s author’s personal story, or the stories in it, but I just didn’t find it helpful. I read this book after hearing in the ex-vangelical book that purity culture turns people away from the church ,and I hoped the book would help me understand more. Instead, what I found were sexually explicit interviews, and not too much about a path forward, at least until the end. Maybe I’m just too far removed the experiences of people in the book. While I think the church could do more to teach body literacy and healthy sexuality, I don’t remember experiencing the levels of shame Klein and her interviewees share. Maybe it’s because I grew up outside the charismatic denominations that Klein disclosed for herself. Or maybe it’s because I took sexuality classes from my Christian university before I got married in my 30’s. Whatever the case, I just did not find reading stories of people who bucked the sexual norms of the church that helpful. I think a more helpful book would be one that focused less on the details of the sexual struggles and more on what the church could do, or has done, to be helpful. The ending few chapters are redemptive and seem to start to go there. Maybe this is a future book for Klein or others?

9. Racing to the Finish: My Story by Dale Earnhardt, Jr. with Ryan McGee (1/17/26) [Audio book]—As the daughter of a NASCAR-watching dad, I thought learning more about a racer's story might be interesting—and it was. This was actually less of a book about Dale Earnhardt Jr.,'s life, and more about his multiple concussions and recoveries from them. As a mental health professional, I found it interesting how anxiety and stress exacerbated Earnhardt's symptoms, and how some of his symptoms of fearing future concussions mirrored PTSD. I was unfamiliar with the concussion recovery program out of the University of Pennsylvania and think it could be a resource for many inside and outside of racing. I think I will also see future NASCAR races and their potential for injury differently. All in all, this audiobook was worth my time to better understand a sport and its repercussions.

10. Grace Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy by Emily Ley [Audio book]—Emily Ley writes some good books: simple, easy to follow, personal, and applicable. Additionally, Ley has a very soothing voice, making them enjoyable to listen to via audiobook. This particular book is about slowing down, making space—margin for what matters, and taking time to savor life. It’s about rhythms and routines that can make space for joy, all while being flexible and having grace for self and others. It was applicable and helpful, and I recommend it!

11. The Most Perfect Rom-Com by Melissa Ferguson—Bryony Page fell into becoming the ghostwriter for air-headed and pompous Amelia Benedict. Now, due to Amelia’s inability to even read the ghost-written books, Bryony has to go on tour with Amelia for damage control, all while writing “the most perfect rom-com” that will shoot Amelia to the top of the bestseller list. At the same time, Bryony is trying to work with her agent Jack Sterling to sell her own book, a book she hopes she will save The Bridge, the center at which she teaches English as a second language. Bryony and Jack are friends, but enemies, until all the facades drop, and they fall into their own rom-com story. I don’t believe in perfect in this world, but as far as books go, this one is pretty close: clean, sweet, and with some surprise Easter eggs of depth and meaning. The one thing that would make it more perfect is more faith integration.

12. Unplanned by Abby Howard [Audiobook]—Abby Johnson grew up in a Christian household that was pro-life, but she didn’t really know why or necessarily hold that conviction personally. Johnson became a volunteer at Planned Parenthood because she believed in empowering women. After two abortions of her own, a troubled marriage followed by divorce, and finishing her psychology and counseling degrees, she went on to become director of Planned Parenthood, working there for eight years. After upset in the organization and assuring with an ultrasound guided abortion, she broke down and eventually resigned her position. She didn’t immediately become pro-life, but after a lawsuit from Planned Parenthood, she went public with joining the Coalition for Life. This book may seem like a treatise for the Pro-Life movement, but it’s not just that. It’s a critique of the radical right and how their macabre tactics pushed Johnson and others away. It shows how the love and prayers of truly compassionate people worked to change Johnson’s heart. It reveals the hypocrisy of churches that condemn rather than love. This book contains some gruesome details, but it’s a powerful one, revealing how God is sovereign over all things, especially over the unplanned ones.

13. Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World by Gretchen Rubin—Gretchen Rubin is a self-proclaimed happiness expert, seeker of ““Self-knowledge and mindful action.” This book details her attempts to be more present through use of her five senses. In each chapter, she engages readers in first person narratives about her own sensory experiences, as well as a few tidbits of research. This book also includes a few photos for the benefit of reader's own sensory experience. All in all, this book does encourage me to observe more. More than that, it reminds me that we are, as the Psalmist says “fearfully and wonderfully made” (139:14). Perhaps if I could get out of my head and into my body more, I would experience more of that.

14. The Preacher’s Wife: The Precarious Power of Evangelical Women Celebrities by Kate Bowler, read by Kelly Burke[Audio book]—Kate Bowler is an expert on prosperity gospel, and in this tome, she looks at what it looks like to be a female part of that (well mostly—not all the women covered as prosperity gospel teachers or purveyors). She discusses the interplay between complementarianism and capitalism, the double standards for women in ministry, and more. This is not just all about preacher’s wife, either, but about female evangelical figures in general: Bible teachers, authors, Christian music artists, counselors and other advice givers, etc. I listened to this on audiobook, all 11 hours of it, and I am not quite sure I would have been able to stay engaged for all of it via sight reading. As it was, it was interesting background listening, and a very well-researched resource, should I want to dive into this topic further.

15. Out of the Cave: Stepping into the Light When Depression Darkens What You See by Chris Hodges [Audio book]—Chris Hodges is not a clinician. He’s a pastor (of Highlands Church) who has both personal (individual and family) and professional experience with depression. He started writing this book after yet another pastor suicide, and he does a good job of looking at the holistic struggle that is depression. He uses the prophet Elijah as a case study, weaving in scriptural and psychological information to show how depression is physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, and relational. I think this is a very balanced, faith-based, and accessible approach to an often contentious topic. I am thankful to have this book as a resource to add to my personal and professional toolbox.

16. The Sweet Life by Suzanne Woods Fischer—Dawn and Marnie Dixon lost their father/husband in a tragic accident, and now Dawn has had her engagement broken and learns Marnie had breast cancer. They go to Chatham Bars Inn on the honeymoon Dawn was supposed to have, and that starts a cascade of events that will change their perspectives. Dawn is not happy when Marnie decides to buy a dilapidated ice cream shop, but Marnie does it anyway, stating that she needs something different in life. Dawn begrudgingly agrees to help, and as she does so, both find a new lease on life. This is probably more of a summer beach read than an in-the-middle-of-the-winter read, but nonetheless, it's a sweet one! Bonus points for the author who obviously did her research for this book, even including fun quotes (some reworked) from famous people about ice cream!

Readers, what have you been reading lately? Please share in the comments section!

Moments and Memories

I never thought I'd have a wedding day. And then I did. Marrying Chris was (and is!) such a blessing, but there are so many other God-things about the wedding weekend and wedding day that I want to remember:

1) Having my entire family back together again. Thanks little brother for majorly inconveniencing yourself with work in order to make it!

2) Having both my best friends in the same place at the same time. And on National Best Friend's Day, at that!

3) Saturday night family dinner. I was initially opposed to this, but seeing and spending time with maternal and paternal relatives before the wedding was such a blessing.

4) Not having to decorate, and being able to nap instead. I read some time ago in my Savor devotional that "what make[s] a wedding day perfect is...a bride and groom who are happy, connected, and present" (p. 165). The best gift I felt I could give Chris was an unfrazzled bride. Letting go of decorating and resting was one way I did this.

5) Our rehearsal dinner. One of our sweet friends and her cohorts decorated for us and put scriptures about love on each table. The decorations were both beautiful and meaningful.

6) Prayer at my girls' get together/bachelorette. My friends prayed the sweetest things over me and thanked God that they got to be part of my life for my long single season. The words they said and offered up were so encouraging. They gave me a ton of gifts, as well as a notebook with well wishes and a long list of fun questions for Chris and I to discuss on our honeymoon drive. Thanks, girls!

7) Singing "To God be the Glory" right before the ceremony. My Mom prayed for God's glory in the ceremony, and then we had more time to sign. Hearing my best friends, mom, and bridesmaids sing alongside me was probably the best moment outside the ceremony.

8) Having our niece and nephew as flower girl and ring bearer. They were the cutest! And they stood through the whole entire ceremony. Basically, they're rock stars!

9) Dismissing our guests row by row. It is still hard for me to remember everyone who attended our wedding, but I am so glad we at least got to see and greet them all as we dismissed them to the reception. This made us feel better about not being present for much of that time. We really wanted the reception to be for the guests and not us anyway.

There are many more moments and "God-things" from wedding weekend that I could probably share, but for now, this is a pretty good list.

Self-Care vs. Selfishness

I found myself becoming increasingly and increasingly unhappy after writing my last post about self-care. I'd hiked. I'd cooked. I'd painted my toes. I'd crocheted. And I was still unhappy. Very unhappy. I cried the first day I came home from work after break. Then I came home and cried the second day. And I'm not talking about just a few tears. I'm talking about mascara running down my face, loud, ugly crying.

And then I went to Bible study where we talked about priorities. God, husband (if you have one), children, believers, and extended family/friends (in that order). God is always my first priority, and my family (parents and brother) are priority, too. But to be honest, I haven't had much time for my family lately. And I haven't had energy for service, emotional or otherwise. I've been trying to be happy, trying to be nice, and doing none of it.

My Bible study leader asked me if I'd been praying about my priorities, my work. Another lady told me that this "trial" is supposed to make me more Christlike. I told her I didn't see that happening yet. I just felt pain. 

I went home after Bible study and cried and cried some more. I realized that I'd been focusing on myself with a tunnel-like acuity, to the exclusion of everyone else. I was very convicted of my selfishness. But I didn't want to give up my things: running, blogging, self-care time. Those were mine, and all I could hold onto.

Then God convicted me that I hadn't been counting my blessings. I'd been so focused on making myself happy that I wasn't finding joy in little things like crossword puzzles, or Mom buying groceries for me, or Dad putting away dishes (typically my job at home). I took some time to write a list of gratitudes, and God used that to calm my mind. I enjoyed my nighttime snack more that evening and went to bed somber, but a little calmer.

I woke up the next morning and realized how I'd been cramming "self-care" into my mornings to the exclusion of greeting my family, helping around the house, etc. I cried again. With the Holy Spirit's help, I prayed my way through the work day, and I had a better day. God released me to go jogging after work, and I enjoyed it. I also completed my "to-dos," including blogging that evening, and felt okay about it. God ordered my priorities for the day.

What I'm realizing is that a lot of life is about perspective, doing all to the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31), working as unto the Lord, not men (Col 3:23). Self-care is good, if I'm doing it to care for my body as God's temple (1 Cor 6:19-20). Self-care is good, but only if in the right order of priorities. Self-care is good, but only if done in appreciation of God's good and perfect gifts (James 1:17). Self care is good, but only if I do it so that I can deny myself, take up my cross (Luke 9:23), follow Jesus, and serve others. If I do self-care just for myself, it's selfish.

Everything I Read in February

I struggled to read this month. I tried to read some different fiction. I struggled through a few non-fiction book. I enjoyed perusing some cookbooks (reading, but of a different sort). I finished with a great fiction book, but even though I enjoyed it, I had to work to finish it. Anyway, here's the list for this month:

11. Leadership 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell—This is a short, condensed book about leadership. Comprised of ten questions and their answers, it tackles issues like growth, influence, efficiency, discipline, and priorities. Maxwell asserts that being a leader is ultimately about raising up leaders. Legacy, he states, is when the things a leader starts live on after him. That is a high aim, but one to work toward. Reading Leadership 101 is a place to start.

12. Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie—This was a GOOD book, not overly theological, but with scriptural and spiritual content, for sure. Each devotional advocates against the “Perfectibility Paradigm,” the idea that trying harder will eventually make a person holy, righteous, and deserving of the “good life.” The devotional readings challenge readers with a “good enough step” to take in the journey of sanctification with each entry, however. This book felt like a warm hug for a striving perfectionist like me. It encouraged me to consider that life itself is “good enough,” or as the authors write, already having “what it takes to make something good happen.” I recommend this book and have it on my “to-gift list” for some of my good friends.

13. The Happy Herbivore Cookbook by Lindsay S. Nixon—I read this cookbook during a period of egg-flation, in hopes of learning more recipes to make with tofu. What I discovered was a goldmine of “my type” of recipes: low-fat, whole grain, mostly simple, and vegetable-heavy. Nixon bakes with more sugar than I do, and I do not regularly stock ingredients like chickpea flour, miso, nutritional yeast, or TVP. Still, I already made the cornbread from the book, and I would probably make more recipes if I owned the cookbook (rather than checking it out from the library). If I ever decide to go more vegan again, this would be a great resource!

14. The Flirtation Experiment: Putting Magic, Mystery, and Spark into Your Everyday Marriage by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer—I’ll be honest. I resisted this book a little bit. It’s my job to keep the romance alive in my marriage. No, but as the authors state, I can only control myself, and if romance is something I want, it’s my responsibility to put in the work. Maybe my husband will respond. Maybe not.

The two wives in this book are from different generations. Trading off chapters, they share how they “experimented” on their own husbands to try to bring romance back. In each chapter, they cover a different topic, sharing their own experiment, scripture to support it, and how it went. Occasionally, there are sections where the husbands reply. The authors share honestly. These experiments were challenging. They were also healing for their marriages. That is the hope they are offer readers in their writing—that maybe a flirtation experiment  will bring about more than just romance, but also renewed love and commitment as well.

15. Running the Rift by Naomi Benaron—I read this book because I wanted to read a book about running. I thought it would be good for me to read a cross-cultural book. This book, about fictional runner Jean Patrick, did expose me to the culture of Rwanda. The author wrote beautifully about the country, and the story was redemptive, even with scripture. I learned about some of the horrors of the Rwandan genocide. This was a hard book to read, though, The cultural references were thick, and I did not always follow. Bloodshed was heavy. There was swearing and sex. The author, a Tucson, Arizona resident, must have done a very lot of research to write this book, and she did it well, so well she won the Bellwether Prize awarded by Barbara Kingsolver. Even so, I cannot run the risk of recommending this book. It is too dark and too rife with unchristian things. Better to avoid the rifts one could cause in one's soul by reading.

16. The No Meat Athlete Cookbook: Whole Food, Plant-Based Recipes to Fuel Your Workouts—And the Rest of Your Life by Matt Frazier and Stephanie Romine—This was, and wasn't the book I was looking for. I wanted a book to help me understand how to fuel from a more plant-based foundation. What I found was a cookbook full of somewhat complicated main dish recipes, and one treasure trove chapter (chapter seven) about plant-based fuel for workouts. This is what I was looking for! I definitely took notes from this chapter. All in all, though, the rest of the book was just a good culinary cookbook for vegans. Buying this cookbook is a no-go for me. Reading it from the library was helpful in seeing ways I could add more plants to my life, however.

17. Waymaker: Finding Your Way to the Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of by Ann Voskamp—In another poignant treatise on life, Voskamp explores addiction, attachment, and struggle, things that point to God as WayMaker. Voskamp lays out her SACRED way, revealing how it came to her even through times of pain in her marriage, and fears that cropped up as her family adopted Shiloh, a baby from China with big heart needs. Voskamp points out the deep human need for attachment to God and others. She reveals how struggle makes ways for intimacy that nothing else could. Voskamp writes in her usual thick, imagistic language, but the book also makes space to point out poignant quotes, and the SACRED way is truly applicable for everyday life. It took me a while to make my way through this book, but is that not the way of life? Learning as we go? Learning about God, self, and others? This book is a thick read, but worth it.

18. The Running Dream by Wendelin Van Draanen—Jessica loses her leg in an accident. She was an up and coming high school runner, but not now. Maybe not ever. This book chronicles her struggles, to get back to school, to get back to walking, and to get back to running. The book showcases more than recovery, though. It showcases teamwork, abilities disabilities, and even has a sweet surprise way that Jessica returns to running. The book is easy to read, yet contains some timeless truths and quotable quotes. I haven't read young adult literature in a while, and this one, written by a teacher and runner herself, was a dream!

19. Hal Higdon’s Half Marathon Training by Hal Higdon—More then just a training guide, this is a compilation of the stories of many half-marathon runners, from beginner to advanced. While I did not find the training information that different from what is available for free on the Hal Higdon website, I did enjoy reading the tidbits from other runners. The “Tween” and “Do-It-Yourself Training” chapters are unique. From a champion marathon runner and long-time journalist, this is a decent book, but more for beginner runners than those wanting to shatter personal records.

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Does anyone have tips for reading when they don't want to read? Or is the solution to just let the season pass? I know that reading is good for me, and when I don't do it, I tend to do less productive things. Maybe the issue is just that I am not very motivated.