Do's and Dont's

"What am I made to do?" This is a question I ask myself frequently. And I'll probably be asking it my entire life. "What am I made to do?" is not a bad question to ask, because it can define my purpose, vision, and values. But it can also be an overwhelming question, a scary question, and a question that can be discouraging when I don't know how to answer it.

I think the question, "What am I made to do?" is as much about what I'm not doing as it is about what I'm doing, though. There are things I'm called to do and things I'm not called to do, or things I am not called to do right now. For example, right now I am not called to be a wife, or a mom, or a home owner. I am a friend, and a daughter, and a coworker, however. And some things I do and don't aren't really about calling. They're about preferences and choices. Because I can't do everything, much as in my perfectionism, I would like to.

So right now, what are my do's and don'ts? Here's a non-exclusive list.

I do...
Cook.
Clean.
Love.
Exercise.
Stay active.
Write.
Hike.
Jog.
Run 5Ks.
Crochet.
Spend time with people I love.
(Try to) Go to bed on time.
Linger at nighttime snack.
Sing.
Be faithful to my daily devotional time.
Paint my toes.

I don't...
Stay out late.
People please.
Do heavy workouts.
Run marathons.
Follow restrictive diets.
Make all my food from scratch.
Focus on externals.
Garden.
Wear a lot of makeup.
Serve in Children's Church.
Volunteer for extra hours at work.
Do my own car maintenance.
Study or argue philosophy and theology.
Sew.

You'll notice that the items on my lists are a mixture of value neutral and value laden activities. I feel conviction about some things on the list and others are just choices. But they're choices I often have to consciously make.

What am I made to do? What are my values? My purpose and values become evident in my choices. So I want to be purposeful about them. May my choices always point to Jesus as I continue to accurately discern all that He has called me to do.

*This post was inspired by the chapter "Things I Don't Do" in Shauna Niequist's book, Bittersweet.

I Care About Kids...

...but I'm not a mom.

Let me explain. I work with kids. I am growing to love it. Kids matter. The kids I work with are "my kids" even if I have not birthed them. But that doesn't make me a mom.

I have been repeatedly asked if I am a mother this past year. The lady at the pottery shop asked me if I planned to have another child when I was out with my "kids." (I had to clarify that I was not their mother.) The librarian asked me if I had kids when I was perusing the children's section looking for a book. (Nope! My life just revolves around kids and I needed a resource.) The lady in the church bathroom told me that I'd have beautiful kids after I'd responded to her other questions that I didn't have kids and needed a husband before I would. The woman in the pew next to me asked about my interest in marriage and told me I was cute and she hoped I'd find someone. (I assume she hopes I'll have kids, too.) The nail salon owner asked me if I had kids when I was there before Mother's Day to purchase a gift certificate for a friend's birthday. (When I said, "No," he clarified that I look like I'm 19. Thanks, but I'm not.) One kiddo recently asked if I wanted kids. They reported that I'd be a good mom because I'm nice and say, "Please use the magic word." Maybe all the time I spend with kids is beginning to give me a persona.

I'm not a mom, and I'm not sure I can be a mom and do the work I do. I might want to be an adoptive mom someday, but that's another topic for another day. For now, know I care about kids, but that I cannot replace their mothers. Moms have a special and unique role, and that isn't my my place . My role is to help, and encourage, and support. My role is to help children and families become more whole.

I care about kids, and I don't have to be a mom to do it.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.