To All My Single Sisters

As a single woman, I felt pretty insecure. I never dated, never had a boyfriend, never even had anyone ask me out. And that made me doubt my worth. My dad and brothers tried to encourage me by saying I hadn't found anyone was because I was "stand-offish." I didn't buy it. I acted like I didn't care, but I did. At my core, I wondered if I'd never found someone because I was unlovely and unlovable. 

Now that I am married, I see God's providence in my relationship history, or lack thereof. Had I had a past and been "validated" by men, I would have more baggage. I would have comparisons for my now wonderful husband. I would potentially have people and places in my life that would bring back wounds, or cause wounds to my husband. Praise the Lord, I don't have any of that. (But don't get me wrong, being single for so long has baggage of its own. My husband and I are still working and will ever be working through the stuff that we brought to marriage, because that's what marriage is, continually working to put ourselves aside and become one.)

So I want to speak to all my single sisters out there. If you're like me, and have never dated or had anyone express interest in you, don't doubt your value. You are inherently valuable because you are a beloved daughter of the Most High King. I know that sounds trite, and I thought that when people told that to me, but it's true. And if you're single, wanting a relationship, maybe the fact that you aren't in one right now is God's providential saving of you for the right one. And maybe there is not a "right one." Maybe God is robing you in his righteousness and keeping you single and pure for the special calling He has for your life. Maybe you don't feel called to be married. That's okay, too.

But...Never. Doubt. Your. Worth.

Men are valuable. A godly (though imperfect) husband is a great gift. But lacking (or having) one says nothing about your value.

So press in, single friends. Press in to who God made you to be. Learn who you are. If you can, learn to tolerate and even love who you are. Because you, right now, right where you are, are secure. Secure in Christ and who He made you to be. The Great King On High defines your worth. And it is He who guides and provides and gives and even changes the desires of our hearts. Praise to Him.