If I Want Him to Lead

Growing up, my parents called me stubborn. As a young adult, I was persistent in working towards my goals. In my mid-twenties, I was bound and determined to be independent, self-sufficient, able to stand on my own if and when needed. Then I started dating and got married. My fierce independence was not so much of a blessing any more. In fact, it was a detriment to my relationship.

Biblically, I believe my husband is called to lead. When we got married, I wanted him to lead. I thought I could submit, and I tried. The problem was that my headstrong-ness got in the way. In fact, it still does. I often run along ahead of my husband in trying to get things done. I want things my way. I am impatient. All of these hinder him leading, and our unity.

I am realizing that if I want my husband to lead, I have to give him opportunities to fulfill his God-given role. I have to wait. I have to accept that he does some things differently than I do. I also have to ask. He can't know where and when I want to lead if I don't tell him.

Being patient is hard. Not going my own way is hard. Accepting things not exactly like I wanted them is hard. I didn't choose easy when I got married, though. I chose love. I chose to submit myself to the biblical pattern for marriage. I chose to accept my husband as my head. If I want him to lead, my actions have to follow.