The Bewitching Hours

I woke up and had to go the bathroom. Sneaking a look at the clock, I saw the early hour of 12:39 AM glare back at me. I laid back down and tried to sleep. I couldn't. My mind started racing. Very quickly, it went to the worst. I thought terrible things about my marriage. I contemplated what would happen if my greatest fears in life materialized, how I would cope, if I would cope. And on and on and on. These dark thoughts weren't unfamiliar. They didn't come often, but when I wake up at an early am hour, I knew to expect them. One of my pastor called these early hours of worry the "bewitching hours," and oh, they really are.

Half asleep, my mind lacks strong executive function. Half asleep, I am prey to the enemy. Wanting sleep, the last thing I want is to worry, but that is where my mind automatically goes. So I have a plan. I have a strategy. When I wake up during the bewitching hours, I try to pray. If the enemy intends this time for evil, by the power of God's Spirit, I shall use it for good! If I can't pray, I will recite memorized Bible verses. And if I can't stay awake enough to do that, I will get my phone and read the Psalms, or if alone, turn on a small light and read. These may be the bewitching hours, but I shall not be bewitched.

Plenty of things happen automatically, like the dark thoughts that come to me middle of the night. While I cannot stop the thoughts, I can come at them with a plan. My plan is a Be-With-God plan. It doesn't always work (because I am a fallen human), and it doesn't always work right away. Sometimes, I even wonder if God is waking me up because he wants me to pray. Regardless, I plan to not be had. I plan to be with God, all the time, regardless of the hour. Bewitched, I will be not. Being WITH God, yes, this I shall be.