Real Life Marriage: Exercise

Having an active spouse was on my list of dreams when it came to marriage. When my (now) husband and I were friends, and then dating, we spent a lot of time walking and hiking. We even got engaged on a hike! I had hoped that we would be able to carry on with getting in our physical activity together after marriage. That hasn't exactly been the case. There are lots of reasons why joint physical activity has fallen by the wayside. We are both very busy, and our schedules don't often align. We have different weather tolerances, etc. Bottom line, when we get to hike and be active together, I enjoy it, but it doesn't happen often. That leaves me in a conundrum. Exercise is important to me, but should I still do it if my husband can't do it with me?

For the most part, I try to exercise when my husband is busy with other things. Sometimes, I do it early in the morning. Other times, I try to do it while he is otherwise in another activity, either out with friends, doing his studies, or something else. Sometimes, though, like when I have a long run before a big race, my exercise time takes from time we could spend together.

Thankfully, my husband recognizes that exercise is important to me. I have not had to argue my case for making time for exercise. I have still had to rectify the time I spend for myself, though. Is it okay that I take time away from us to do my own thing? At this point, I have decided, "Yes." The benefits of exercise help me feel better, and in turn, that increases my frustration tolerance so that I take less out on my husband (not okay, but something that happens when I get stressed and don't cope appropriately.) Having less pain and discomfort make me more able to do things that benefit our marriage, like cooking, cleaning, etc. The joy exercise brings me hopefully helps me be a nicer person with whom to spend time. Sometimes, exercise gives us alternative chances to spend time together, whether it be traveling to races, waiting for medal ceremonies, or something else. And sometimes, like with last year's Patriot Run, races give me something to share with my husband. (In that case, it was coffee, which he drinks more than me.) In that case, I got the joy of running and of giving a gift I received. Hopefully my husband benefitted from both.

Exercise. I think it's beneficial when I get to do it with my husband. I also think it's good for me to do just on my own. Exercise is an endeavor that benefits both of us, both separately and together.