Changing My Thinking

"Do I want to?" 

"No. But I'm going to do it anyway."

That's been my inner dialogue for a long time. I used it to motivate myself, to get myself to do hard things, to slog through the mundane things that really just needed to be done. But recently, I realized that it was really not helping me in the ways I thought it was. It was making me resistant. It was making me angry. Instead of pushing me through, it was reminding me that I really don't want to do the thing. So with the Holy Spirit's help, I've been changing my thinking.

"Do I want to?"

"No, no that."

"I'm choosing...because."

"I'm choosing to run these errands now because I want time to go to the running store tomorrow."

"I'm choosing to do this chore because I will experience less stress tomorrow."

"I'm choosing to put the dishes away because I would want that done if it was me coming home late."

"I'm choosing to do this work now because I accepted the responsibility of being a supervisor."

This inner monologue doesn't change the fact that things are hard. It doesn't make me like cleaning the shower or slogging through running errands in the heat. It does remind me that I am blessed to have choices, and that I have control over making them. I am an adult living in America, so for the most part, no one is making me do anything. I choose to do things, and that choosing involves choosing my thinking. I can choose to think in ways that aren't helpful, or I can choose to change my thinking to ways that are. The choice is up to me.