Real Life Marriage: Acceptance

I’ve had some frustrations with my husband lately, well not just lately, but throughout our marriage. But you know what I’ve realized? I’m not perfect either. As much as I want him to grow and change, maybe I need to grow and change just as much or more. And maybe we both just need to accept the fact that we are radically different in some ways.

There are so many good things about my husband! He is kind. He is generous. He is caring. He is a good problem-solver. Who am I to harp on what I want him to change? And if he was able to change those things, would he still be the man I love? If he valued cleanliness and home and communication and emotions at the levels I did, he probably would have not have the brain space for the things that make him tick. And maybe asking for him to change in these ways is really asking for the impossible. Maybe I just need to buck up and do the things that I keep wanting him to do. They are my priorities, after all.

After six years, perhaps I am coming to a place of more settledness. I love my husband. I really do. Life with him is a gift from God! Sure, things are not perfect, but they won't ever be. We need to change and learn and grow to avoid stagnation, but part of that growing might be in acceptance. It might be in accepting that we really are different, and though we may grow together, we will not grow into each other. We are, after all, different people.

So here's to year seven of our lives together, not a year or perfection, but a year of further acceptance, further growth, and perhaps even some changes. May God be glorified in us, and in our marriage. In Jesus' name, Amen!