That's My Dad!

"What's your dad doing these days?" My husband's best man asked when we visited. "He's always been such a hard worker, and so busy!" He said.

"Yes," I replied. "He is retired, but still just as hard working as ever."

My dad has had two major surgeries in the past several years, but when we visited him this summer, he was still out in the shed "knocking pistons out" of some engine. He was still mowing the lawn. He was still out and about visiting people. That's my dad. He values hard work. He is super smart when it comes to engines, and mechanics, and car and truck stuff. He has always been super friendly and likes to visit people and help them out. In just the few hours my mom and I took to go on an adventure, he had my husband out and introduced to all the neighbors and their menageries of animals, as well as to many of the members of his church. That's my dad.

We all have some idiosyncrasies. My dad does, too, but after nearly losing him, and then having him experience a second surgery that could have constrained him to an inactive life, I am so thankful to witness my dad out and about living his life. What a gift from God, and thank you, Lord! I love you, Dad!

Happy Father's Day!

"Live As So To Be Missed"

My father underwent major surgery two weeks after Memorial Day. The surgery itself was not unexpected, but the timing was. We had just visited, and then my dad was hospitalized and operated on. We did not have a chance to visit again before his procedure.

As Dad faced serious surgery, I reflected back on our last interactions. He gave me a pep talk about life Saturday afternoon. He told me that my work mattered. He encouraged me to make my home a safe place. He exhorted me to honor and respect my husband and listen to what my husband says. In the moment, I was not fully listening, as I was struggling to fully believe what he said. I wish now that I would have recorded it, though. He was giving me encouragement and wise counselor, and I value it.

The day/meal before we left, Dad hurried us away from the table, asking him to let him clear the table. It was his "job," he said, and we needed to leave. He was correct that we needed to leave to get back home, but we could have taken our plates to the sink. Instead, he served us by doing that task.

My dad texted our family a quip from his mom shortly before surgery. He said, "Live as so to be missed." I hoped that was not his last words to us, and thankfully, they weren't, but it told me how my dad wanted to live his life.

As I reflect with gratitude on still having my dad this Father's Day, I am interpreting Dad's words a little differently. Following his example, I want to learn to live more in the moment, not to miss the moments of life we are given. I was not fully present the last time I talked at length with my dad before surgery. That next conversation was not guaranteed. Really nothing about life is guaranteed.

Dad, I am thankful that you are still with us, and we will miss you terribly when the Lord says it is your time to go. You do live in a way that encourages us, challenges us, and points us to Jesus. Thank you! We love you!

The Castle of Love: An Allegory

There once was a princess who lived in a castle. 

It's walls were high. It's moat was wide. 

Within the walls, the princess could play, 

but outside the walls, "No, no way!"

Her jewelry might break. She might dirty her dress.

Stay inside she must, yes, yes!

The father's rules were really quite strict,

but there was nothing to do 

to change his perspective.

Even when the princess had grown

the father's close watch could not ever be thrown,

for the father's good knights roamed far and wide,

and always made sure the princess 

came back safe inside.

But one day a suitor came knocking 

and after some time, he started talking.

The father gave blessing

and the suitor, impressing

asked the girl out to town.

The princess was shocked 

when the drawbridge went down,

but when the knight knelt on one knee,

she started to see, 

that one day she might want 

her own family.

As wedding plans were made,

and rules started to fade.

The princess gained perspective.

for the castle and its jewels,

the king could care less,

but for his dear daughter, 

he wanted the best.

He'd built up the castle 

and enhanced all its walls

not to keep her in

but to keep others out.

The castle showed his love

until a day would draw near

when the princess would recognize

what he'd wanted her to hear:

"You have value."

And then out of his sight,

off into the night

he'd send her with a new protector,

a great knight she would choose

a one to whose castle

she'd now say, "I do."

To the man who taught me to love, so that I might one day love another,

Happy Father's Day!

I Can't Do This.

I work in the helping profession. You'd think I'd know how to love people. Nope! God has been impressing on me lately the fact that I don't really know how to love people, or at least love them well.

The problem, you see, is that I've been trying to love people out of my own power. I've been trying to love people because I'm a good person, because loving is what I'm supposed to do. And it's not working. In and of myself, I don't have enough love for the world. I don't have enough love for myself for crying out loud! And that's where the problem lies. 

I read a quote on Pinterest recently that said "Embracing God's love is the key to loving others." As much as I preach self care and self compassion and self love, I often lack it for myself. That's because I'm not resting in God's love and in who He says I am. I am out being busy, trying to do the right things, trying to earn God's favor, trying to justify Jesus saving me, even if I know that's impossible. I've got it all backwards.

I can't love on my own. I can't live on my own. I can only love and live because the Holy Spirit of Christ indwells me with the love of the Father. I have zero power. God has absolute power.

Perhaps I've been so tired lately because I've been trying to regenerate myself, to do in my own mind and heart and soul what only Christ can do. I've been focusing on doing love instead of being filled with Love. It's not working.

God, let me find myself in your love. You love me perfectly and completely. You gave your only Son for me! Fill the empty vessel of this life you created in me with your love. Let your love in me flow out to others for your honor and glory. I can't do this. You can.