Wasted Time

I've caught myself "wasting time" a few nights lately. I've been sitting scrolling through social media, or researching stupid stuff, or just...sitting. And I've started to judge myself. But then the Spirit prompted me to have a little self-compassion. I've been living life at a breakneck speed. I've been busy, busy, busy, and often have not had time to even cross off the things on my daily to-do list. It's a rare occasion that I actually have time to spare.

And when I have time to spare, it makes sense that I don't know what to do with it. It makes sense that I am tired, that I just want to veg. And some nights that's all I seem to be able to do.

So I've been letting myself sit. I've been letting myself off the hook of having to be productive before bed. I've been heading for snack time earlier and lingering over the newspaper a little longer. Or I've been telling myself it's okay if I just want to go to sleep early. 

There is a time for productivity and work, but sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I need "wasted time" to remind me to give thanks for work. Sometimes I need wasted time to remind me how good productivity feels. Sometimes I need wasted time to signal that I need more rest.

So I guess what I'm saying is that "wasted time" really isn't wasted. It's a teacher, and one I'm learning from, maybe not forever, but at this time in life, and probably again in the future.