Fear...Is it a Good Thing?

Fear can be limiting, and that's how its affected my life. It's been paralyzing, preventing me from really living, from really enjoying life. It's kept me scared, quiet, withdrawn, and afraid. It's backed me into corners where I've been disconnected from friends, family, and even my truest self. 

I've written a lot about fear this past year because I've felt it a lot. Fear is a plague, or at least that's how I've labeled it in my life. But I started thinking recently that maybe I've been viewing fear wrongly. Maybe fear isn't such a bad thing.

As I've started to face my fears, I've realized that most of my fears mask anxiety. Most of the time when I feel fear it's because I'm about to do something really brave. I'm about to tell others what I think or feel, take a stand, or otherwise venture outside my comfort zone. I'm about do something I know I need to do, but don't know the results of. I am vulnerable, exposed. And it feels scary.

The unknown is frightening and there does need to be some preparation and planning for it. I do need to count costs of the risks I am going to take. But the unknown is also exciting, full of possibility; open-ended, reason for hope.

So maybe fear is a good thing, because it helps me count what it costs to really live. It helps me consider if the risk I'm going to take is really worth it. If the thought or feeling or stand is important enough to risk criticism or hurt or rejection. If the possibility of a glorious ending is worth the risk of a terrible disaster.

I don't think I'll ever see the end of fear in my life, but I think I need to keep embracing it. I need to keep facing it, and walking forward. And maybe more than even accepting it, I need to start getting excited about it. Because fear and facing it has led to lots of good things in my life, and I believe it can lead to more. Sure, there will be hurt and heartbreak along the way. But if that's the cost of the good, of really living and enjoying life, isn't it worth it?