It had been an exciting day, and I had my evening all planned out. I was going to research a few things on the internet, take a hot shower, eat a nice leisurely snack while reading the newspaper, and go to bed early or on time (a novelty these days). And then the power went out.
I was ticked. Power is a first world luxury, but I wanted it, needed it. I felt angry about having to walk around the house use my cell phone as a flash light. (I was blessed the phone was charged.) I felt disgruntled that I couldn't use internet. I wanted light for my shower. I felt I deserved my routine after the busyness of the day. I felt I needed that nightly set of habits to be safe. In my anger and frustration, I even prayed for the power to come back on. It didn't.
I obsessively checked the power outage map on my cell phone. It said power restoration at 12:24 am, but would update every five minutes. I checked every five minutes, or less. No changes. I debated not taking a shower, but decided against it. I needed a shower, even if it wasn't how I wanted it. The Spirit convicted me that I was looking to earthly things for comfort when God was my comfort. Things therefore, weren't going to change.
So I took my shower, got my snack, and started trying to read the newspaper by hurricane lamp. I put my phone away. I didn't finish my internet research. Finally, I got to a place where I was almost content. And then right before I went to bed, the power came back on. That was a blessing, as I rely on a box fan for white noise, and I needed power for that. But to be honest, I was a bit miffed. I lost "my evening" for the power outage, and now I really needed to go to bed. So I tried to cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving and gratitude and go to sleep.
I think I'm seeking the Lord, walking in His ways, and relying on Him, and then little things show me I'm not. Oh, how I need the grace of God, every hour, every minute, every breath. He's my Power Source.
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